Sometimes it's not easy to help a girl who is feeling upset. He may want to be cuddled, get affection – or want to be left alone. So how do you know how to make a girl feel better – not worse? Read this article to find out.
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Part 1 of 3: Approaching Girls
Step 1. Read the situation
What made the girl angry? Was it something that broke her feelings, like losing her grandparents, or something lighter, like fighting with a friend? The problem can help you figure out what he really wants. If he's facing a loss, then you shouldn't try to make him laugh or bother him with silly stories; but if he's having trouble with his friend, then you can take a cheerful approach. But don't talk too much about it, or he'll get angrier.
Not all problems are created equal. The more you understand the situation, the better you will know how to respond
Step 2. Find out what he wants
This is very important. If he says "I want to be alone" and if he "really" wants that, then you should give him some alone time and don't make him feel worse by being around him when all he wants is alone time. But if he says he wants to be alone and wants you there, it can be hard to decide what to do; if you know him well, you'll know if he's just trying to calm down or he's just saying that because he doesn't want to bother you.
- Is she the type of girl who gets irritated a lot or is this the first time you've seen her act like that? If he's been upset before, think about how you'd respond, and try to do the same if it worked before.
- Ask if he wants to talk about the problem. Try to find out if he wants to talk about the matter or if he wants you to be there just to provide more moral support.
Step 3. Give him some affection
So most girls want to get a hug or a feeling of affection when they are feeling upset. This is especially true if you are his girlfriend or a close friend and he doesn't suspect that you're flirting. Some girls may not want to be cuddled when they're upset, that's okay too. If you are close to him, putting your arm around him or touching his shoulder, hand, or knee will make him feel better.
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When he's feeling upset, what he wants most is that you are there for him, and giving him love will make him feel it.
Comfort a Girl Step 03Bullet01 - Bring her tissues, a cup of tea, a blanket, and anything she needs to make her feel more comfortable.
Part 2 of 3: Making Him Feel Better
Step 1. Let him express himself
The thing he wants most is to tell you how he feels, if he's in the mood for company. So let him cry, let him talk, let him kick the furniture if he wants to. Don't get in the way and try to come up with a solution, ask a million questions, or get in the way so you know what's going on. If he was really feeling upset, then he couldn't get out of that state yet.
- Don't try to offer multiple solutions at first. When he wants advice from you, he will ask for it. But for now, let him let out all his feelings.
- You may know what to do, but this is not the time to get involved right away.
Step 2. Be a good listener
If a girl is upset, then she really wants to be heard by you. He doesn't want to hear your opinion on the matter, but would love to be heard. So let him talk without interrupting by asking a question or giving your opinion, make eye contact, and make a short comment like "I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you…" to let him know you care. Let him finish and don't cut him off.
- You can nod and show him you care, but don't nod in a hurry or he'll think you're in a hurry or you mean something else.
- Avoid distractions. Put away your phone, keep your focus on him, and don't look around the room. Don't make him think you have to go elsewhere.
Step 3. Don't try to reduce her problem
If you want to make a girl feel better, then the worst thing you can say is something like "It's not the end of the world" or "Everything will be okay." Maybe you can see that he's upset about something that isn't a big deal, like a poor test score, or he just broke up with someone he's been dating for a few weeks, but you shouldn't show that, or he'll feel worse.. For a moment, he just wanted to be angry and talk about his feelings, not be told it wasn't such a big deal.
- You might think that you're helping him with your point of view, but you'll only make him feel worse because he's upset, and he'll probably walk away from you.
- He wants you to be there for support, not your opinion.
Step 4. Ask if anyone can help
After he has told you how he feels, you can ask him what you can do to make him feel better. Maybe it's an actual situation where you could do something about it, whether to help him solve a problem with his car insurance, help him mend a relationship with a friend, or even help cut his expenses by fixing something. Maybe what you can do is go along with him to do something and provide moral support. Or maybe he wants to do it himself, but you can help by being "on standby" if he needs you.
- Just asking questions will let him know that you care and that you want to do something more for him. This will make him feel better about his situation.
- Maybe he feels lost and alone. Asking if you can help him will make him feel more liked and wanted.
Step 5. Don't try to say you know how he feels
He wants to be heard, not told that you know how he feels. Maybe he's lost his grandparents and maybe you've been through it too, so you can help by saying you've been through that too; if it's an immediate situation, you can mention it, but in general, don't try to compare yourself to him or he'll think you're looking for his attention. The focus is on him. If he recently broke up from a long-term relationship, don't compare his three-year relationship with your three-month relationship, or he'll cry and say "That's a different thing!"
It's better to say "I can't imagine how you feel," or "I can't even begin to try to understand how you feel…" these words are more appropriate and will justify his feelings
Step 6. Say you feel sorry for how she is feeling
It is good and simple. Just say, "I'm sorry you had to go through this," or "I'm sorry that you had to face such difficult circumstances." Even if it's not your fault, with just a little apology, you can show that you sympathize with the situation and that you wish things could be different. This will make her feel better, although there's not much you can do about it.
He might say, "It's not your fault!" and you can simply say "I know, but I still feel bad." It will make him feel like you are on his side
Part 3 of 3: Continuous Comfort
Step 1. Always be there for him
Sometimes, you can't help, you can't say much, and there's not much you can do to make things better. If he has really bad news, all you can do is keep him company and let him know that he's not alone. If you have big plans for the weekend, consider whether you can cancel those plans to spend time with him; if he has an activity, ask if you can do it together. Sometimes, all you can do is offer your time and presence to show affection. You can't make him feel comfortable and then go away and disappear for a few days, or he'll feel unwanted.
Let him know that he will be a priority for you. You may have lots of other thoughts in your head, but that's not going to get them out of reach
Step 2. Disturb him
He may want to be alone because he's upset, but if you can, try to get him out of the house as much as you can. even if he doesn't feel socialized, going outside for some fresh air will make him feel better and make him forget his problems, even if only for a moment. Here are some things you can try:
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Take him to a comedy show. The light comedy will make him laugh and feel better for a while.
Comfort a Girl Step 11Bullet01 -
Take him to dinner or coffee or ice cream. Just a simple treat will make him feel better. In addition, if he is upset, he may forget to eat and take care of himself. But don't ask him out for a drink-if he's upset, alcohol isn't the solution.
Comfort a Girl Step 11Bullet02 - Take him for a walk. Doing light exercise and a breath of fresh air can make him clear his mind and feel more cared for.
- Don't take her to events where there's loud noise and a lot of people, or she'll feel overwhelmed and can't handle it.
Step 3. Do easy tasks for him
He may feel so overwhelmed that he cannot cope with his daily life. So bring him a cup of coffee or lunch when he needs it; offer to clean her room if she starts to get out of control; wash the clothes if necessary. If he gets upset in class and can't focus, take notes for him. If he needs to add fuel to his car, do it for him. It doesn't take long to put more effort into your relationship and that will help to reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Of course, he can't take advantage of you. but taking on light tasks at first, can make a big difference
Step 4. Pay attention to him
This is an important part of making a girl feel comfortable. Even after you've finished talking to him, you need to offer help. Make sure you call, text, visit her, and see if you can take her out again. You don't have to be the annoying person by texting every few hours to ask how he's doing, but every once in a while you do need to check on him to show you care.
- Even just sending a funny caption or video clip can make him laugh and make him feel special.
- So creative people. Send a card or bouquet of flowers. Let him see that you care about him, not just through conversation.
- Let him know that you are thinking of him. If he wants to be left alone, you don't have to repeat the conversation every few hours. A short message to remind him that you care about him can go on for a long time.
Tips
- Speak softly.
- Give a hug. He will feel better.
- Say she's beautiful even when you (or she) feel like she's looking bad, with a soft kiss on the neck.
- Don't tell him you're thinking about a "sexy" girl.
- She is your flower, treat her like that.
- Tell her that she is your consort, and that you love her more than anything and anyone.
- Use a different approach if you're a girl, but are still having trouble understanding other girls' feelings.
