Do you like biting your nails? Chewing hair? Thumb sucking? Exfoliating lips? Whatever your particular habit or how deeply ingrained it is in you, the way to break it is the same. You can break bad habits with persistent effort and the right mindset. Read the following instructions so you can do it successfully.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Changing Your Mindset
Step 1. Make a commitment to achieve what you want
As we already know, trying to break a bad habit must start with building a real intention and making a commitment to change your life.
Many people start trying to break a habit without really knowing what they really want to change. Quitting a habit is not an easy matter. So, you may fail if you don't start this process with a strong commitment
Step 2. Get to know your habits
Many repetitive behaviors are based on patterns that have evolved from being rewarded in a certain way. By forming this habit, a person will be helped in carrying out his daily tasks or if he has to deal with various emotional situations.
“Habit circles” are formed by signals or triggers that tell your brain to initiate repetitive behaviors. Next, your brain will process the "reward" for this behavior by producing neurochemical compounds that play a role in forming the habit loop. You can break a habit by interrupting the behavioral aspects of this circle
Step 3. Find out the context of your habit
In order to determine the most effective way to break the habit, you must know the context of the situation and the emotions that trigger it. That way, you can figure out what “reward” your brain wants. Once you know these gifts, you can determine other, healthier ways to get the same rewards your bad habits give you.
- Many bad habits are formed as a way of dealing with situations that cause stress or boredom.
- For example, for many people, smoking can relieve stress. The habit of procrastinating for a while can provide free time that can be filled with more enjoyable activities.
- Take notes if you feel a strong urge to repeat the behavior. These habits are often so ingrained that we don't even realize why we do them. By developing awareness, you can find out what is going on so that your habit is formed.
- As you take notes, write down what happened at that time. For example, if you like to nibble on your nails, make a note of each time you feel the urge to nibble. Also write down a few things about how you felt, what happened that day, where you experienced it, and what you were thinking at the time.
Step 4. Make a plan
Once you've identified the situation that triggers your habit and the rewards you get for engaging in this bad behavior, make a plan to change the behavior, and a strategy to reduce the trigger for your bad habit.
- Research has shown that having a specific and clear plan will increase your chances of success in breaking bad habits. This plan will help you defeat the behavior you don't want and create new patterns of action that you want.
- Make a plan to make mistakes. Don't make plans that are doomed to fail because you want to go back to old habits. Many people want to give up their bad habits, but eventually succumb to the temptations of old habits. By understanding this beforehand, you are less likely to let negative thoughts get in the way of your intention to break a bad habit.
- In making plans, you must also consider the mechanisms that can support you to be able to take responsibility. This mechanism could be a reward for your success or feedback from people who support your desire to break a bad habit. You will be more successful in carrying out this plan if you share it with others. This step will be explained further in detail.
Step 5. Visualize your success
As an exercise in breaking a bad habit, think over and over again while imagining a scenario in which you were behaving well instead of committing a bad habit. Imagine you are in a situation that tempts you to behave badly, then make a better choice. This method will form a positive pattern of behavior.
- For example, if you want to eat less unhealthy food, imagine that you are preparing healthy food in the kitchen and then eating.
- There are people who find it helpful to write a "script" about their desired behavior and read it every day.
Step 6. Do a mind calming exercise
Increased peace of mind in going about your daily life will make you more aware of your actions instead of acting under “automatic control”. Mind calming exercises focus on building awareness of what you are going through in the present moment and experiencing it without avoiding or judging. With regular practice, peace of mind will become a good habit to beat the bad habits you want to give up.
- Mind calming exercises will train your brain to be able to respond to situations in different ways. This exercise can "reprogram" the way you respond to situations and stressors. A calm mind will give you time before reacting to something and reduce the tendency for "automatic thoughts" to appear in response to certain situations.
- Realize if you are tempted to give in to old habits. What situations lead you to bad behavior? What sensations do you feel in your body or thoughts that trigger bad behavior? You can survive old habits by understanding them without judging yourself.
- Don't suppress thoughts about this habit. If you try not to think about something, ironically, you only think about it more and become overwhelmed.
- For example, trying not to think about smoking will only make you very sensitive to anything that reminds you of smoking. It would be much better if you acknowledge your addiction and identify the situations that provoked it, and then tackle the issue thoroughly.
- Try some peace of mind meditation. Mind and body awareness will only grow if you can take a few minutes each day to be still and focus on your breath.
- Yoga and taici also teach meditation and both are good for your health.
- Pay attention to when you feel a strong urge to adopt a bad habit, but don't judge the thought. Try saying, "Right now I really want to smoke" or "Right now I really want to bite my fingernails." You can leave this bad habit without feeling helpless because of these thoughts by acknowledging how you are feeling.
Part 2 of 2: Changing Your Behavior
Step 1. Change your environment
Research has shown that our environment sometimes leads us to certain behaviors, even when we try to stop them. Therefore, efforts to break bad habits should also be done by reducing situational triggers until you can form new ways to deal with them.
- Situations in a novel can help us utilize certain parts of our brain that play a role in making conscious decisions so that we don't revert to behaviors that are patterned by automatic control.
- One way to avoid bad habits is to change what you see every day. After that, observe whether your desire to do bad habits is decreasing. For example, if you like smoking on the porch, move the chair you usually sit on and replace it with a flower pot. If you tend to overeat when sitting in a certain place at the dinner table, sit somewhere else or rearrange your furniture in such a way that your sitting position changes than usual. Major changes in your environment can reduce the recurrence of bad habits you weren't aware of and force your mind to reassess what's going on.
- Build relationships with people who support the behavior you want. Don't ignore old friends, but you can reduce the emergence of bad behavior triggers if you make friends with people who live the way you want them to.
- Go on vacation, if you can. One of the best ways to break a bad habit is to seek out a new, completely different situation for a while. Form new healthy habits that you can apply after you return to your normal activities.
Step 2. Create barriers to bad habits
If you can create barriers that make it more difficult or unpleasant to do bad habits than other actions, you can break the routines that have formed these bad habits in the past. Here are a few suggestions:
- Share your plans for breaking the bad habit with supportive people and ask them to rebuke you if you do it again. This method will have consequences if you give in to temptation.
- It would be even better if you could find someone who would like to get rid of the same bad habits as you. That way, both of you can keep an eye on each other to stick to the plan so you can break this habit together.
- Another equally good idea is to do whatever it takes to break the sequence of events that are likely to lead to bad behavior. For example, if you want to quit smoking, keep your cigarettes in another room. If you want to stop logging into Facebook during business hours, disconnect from the internet or use one of the apps that can block access to sites like this. While these barriers can be easily overcome, sometimes it can be quite difficult to get rid of the behavioral patterns that lead you into bad habits.
- Set a small "punishment" if you deviate. For example, you can use the same excuse to break the habit of rude talk: every time you go back to an old habit, put $10,000 (or more) into a can or jar. Determine the amount that is quite burdensome if you again give in to temptation and carry out your intentions obediently. If you've managed to break old habits, use this money to buy gifts or donate to charity.
- Or if you're trying to break the habit of overeating, extend 10 minutes of exercise time if you overeat. Punishment that has to do with behavior can be the most effective way.
Step 3. Start small
There are certain habits, such as procrastination, which are difficult to change because the solution can seem overwhelming. “Stop procrastinating” feels like an impossible task for you to do. Try breaking this plan down into small steps you can take. Thus, you may receive a “reward” upon seeing success immediately. Plus, your brain won't dismiss the end goal as "too big" to do. Instead of saying "I will stop eating unhealthy food", try saying "I will have a healthy breakfast." Instead of saying "I'm going to work out more", try saying "I'm going to practice yoga every Saturday morning." Once you see success in doing these small steps, increase your efforts again so that your main goal can be achieved.
- For example, instead of saying “I won't be procrastinating anymore starting today”, make a plan for yourself “I'm going to stay focused on work for 30 minutes today”.
- There is a well-known method called the "Pomodoro method" that can help you. Set a timer by determining for yourself how long you want to focus on work without doing anything else. Don't take it too long, 45 minutes is more than enough or 20 minutes is okay. This method aims to allow you to determine for yourself tasks that make sense and you can do.
- After the time you set is over, take a break! Do the things you love, browse Facebook, read SMS. After that, set a new working time again.
- This method can "trick" your brain into forming new good habits because you can see immediate success (which your brain wants).
Step 4. Reward your success
Since a habit is formed when it is rewarded in a certain way, the best way to create a new habit is to reward yourself if you do a good habit.
- The rewards that are most conducive to success are those that are given as soon as you perform a good behavior and give what you really want or like.
- For example, if you want to break the habit of being late for work, gift yourself a cup of hot coffee every time you show up on time until this gift is no longer needed.
Step 5. Find a replacement method
Try to replace your bad habits with new positive things in your daily life. The point is to have a plan in place for alternative courses of action if you are tempted to adopt a bad habit.
- For example, if you want to quit smoking, switch to sucking on candy, doing breathing exercises, or walking around the house. Fill in the blanks because you are leaving old habits with new activities so you don't repeat old habits.
- Look for alternative actions that are interesting and don't bore you. If you can form a new habit by doing an activity you really enjoy, something you enjoy, or that is sure (and ideally soon) to produce positive results, you will find it easier to switch to this good habit.
Step 6. Be patient
Behavior change is a long process and breaking the habit will take time. So, stick to your plan. Be patient and be kind to yourself.
- Books on conventional wisdom and self-improvement say that a habit can be broken in 28 days. The reality is much more complicated, because based on recent research, the length of the process of forming a new habit depends on the individual concerned and the habit itself. The time span can only be 18 days, even up to 245 days.
- While this process varies from person to person, it's probably safe to say that the first few days will be the most difficult. Some neurologists recommend that people go into "quarantine" for the first two weeks. By undergoing quarantine, our nervous system will struggle to deal with changes in body chemicals that function to trigger the receptor center in our brains for getting used to receiving "gifts".
Step 7. Be kind to yourself
Telling yourself that you can't do something is a bad cognitive habit because it builds the belief that you really can't. Remember that being hard on yourself for having a problem or making a mistake won't help and will only make bad habits worse.
- If you find yourself criticizing yourself, remember that seemingly contradictory things can go hand in hand. For example, imagine you want to break the habit of eating unhealthy foods, but you “relent” and buy a bag of chips for lunch. You may find yourself blaming yourself for this, but you can choose to be kind by admitting your mistakes and realizing that this wasn't a failure. You don't have to give up just because you've given up once.
- Try adding the word and to your statement and come up with a positive plan the next time you face a challenge. For example: “I bought a bag of chips at lunch this afternoon. I'm very disappointed in myself because of this incident and I can prepare my own snacks to take to work so the food vending machines don't tempt me.”
- You can also add the word "but" and follow it with a positive statement. For example, "I can't do anything anymore, BUT everyone makes mistakes sometimes."
Tips
- When the going gets tough, think about what would happen in the future if you finally got over the bad habit.
- Overcome bad habits one by one, at most two. If it's too much, you'll be overwhelmed.
- Some people find it easier to gradually reduce repetitive habits, while others find it easier to quit "suddenly" or stop altogether. Find the way that works best for you, even if it means you have to keep trying.
Warning
- It's a good idea to consult a mental health professional (psychologist, psychiatrist, or counselor) if you feel you can't control a bad habit, especially if it's a dangerous habit.
- Drug abuse, eating disorders, self-mutilation, and self-destructive patterns can all be signs of an addiction or mental disorder. Seek professional help to resolve this issue.
