You were not born with a reputation. Instead, you develop a reputation over time through your behavior and relationships with others. If you treat others with disrespect or misbehave, your reputation will suffer. Your reputation will also suffer if people spread negative gossip or comments about you, even if your behavior isn't really bad. Repairing a bad reputation takes time, honesty, and effort. Ask for feedback from friends and family. What can you improve? Make plans for yourself in the future. Strive to be the best version of yourself and treat others well.
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Part 1 of 3: Assessing Reputation
Step 1. Write down your perception of yourself
If you hear that you have a bad reputation, ask yourself this: What have you done or not done? Has your attitude changed since that action? How do you feel about yourself? Write down what you like and don't like about your current behavior and character. Think about how you can fix things you don't like. Also, think of ways to be more sure of what you like, both in personality and in style.
For example, if your bad reputation comes from choosing clothes you like, that's okay. There is nothing wrong with expressing individuality. In fact, the ability to judge yourself is very important in living life. You can explain to other people why you chose the outfit, perhaps to follow religious teachings or to be interested in a particular subculture such as punk music. Defending yourself from peer pressure and bullying can be tough, but the ability to be yourself makes it all worth it
Step 2. Ask for feedback and help from friends and family
Those closest to you can offer crucial insights into your personality and reputation. Have they heard negative opinions about you? Is this story true? If so, ask them for advice on how to fix and restore the damage.
You may find that your reputation is not as damaged as you think. But introspection is still important
Step 3. Realize that your bad reputation may not really be about you
Unfortunately, sometimes people spread gossip or negative statements that damage your reputation. Maybe they do it because of their own prejudices or problems.
- A common tactic is to make women feel that their dress and behavior is inappropriate. For example, your favorite pair of jeans is too tight or you like to wear revealing clothes. Maybe you've earned a "bitch" or "cheap" reputation for wearing them even though there's nothing wrong with expressing yourself through clothes. Studies show that women and men have an equal tendency to engage in such acts. This type of behavior stems from a social disdain for women and cultural traditions that believe that a woman's body should be subject to public comment, and it's hard to accept that those hurtful statements have nothing to do with who you really are.
- This type of reputation is difficult to overcome because it is very painful and unfair. You must decide to what extent you want to comply with society's demands, and how much self-expression you are comfortable showing. Talking to a counselor can help.
Step 4. Evaluate your relationship
Watch who your friends are. Do they improve or damage your reputation? If they have played a part in your bad reputation, make new friends. Consider joining a new club or volunteer group. Look for people who are engaged in positive and useful activities. Hang out with people you admire. Also encourage your old friends to grow.
Humans tend to “adopt” the emotions of the groups of people they associate with. If your group of friends tends to behave in a negative way, their behavior will likely stick with you even though you are generally a nice person. On the other hand, if you associate with kind, generous people with good reputations, their behavior and feelings will affect you in a positive way
Step 5. Check your online presence again
In the digital era, a good reputation in cyberspace must also be maintained. Employers, universities, and others will search your public profile to find out who you really are. Use a search engine to search for your name and see what links are linked to you. Does the top point to a positive site or professional social media profile like LinkedIn? Life in cyberspace is real too, so make sure your reputation there remains positive and flawless.
- Delete all negative public social media posts. Consider showing something positive to the public. If your social media profile has a good image, people will not easily believe lies or gossip that tries to portray you in a bad image.
- Keep in mind that some things like reviews also have an effect on reputation. If you give a rude or abusive review of a service or business, it will look bad on your reputation. If you must give negative feedback, do so in a constructive way. For example, writing a review “This Starbucks is AWESOME and all the waiters are Idiot” is totally unproductive and makes people think you are rude and mean. Instead, write reviews like “Last time I bought coffee at Starbucks, I had to order three times to get the right coffee, and the barista was very rude to me. I am very disappointed and will probably choose another place”. You still complain, but in a mature way.
- If you're always showing some things that a lot of people don't agree with, like alcohol, consider ditching them (or creating privacy restrictions so the general audience doesn't see them).
- Monitor what your friends are tagging on social media. Remove tags that seem inappropriate or that your boss or teacher shouldn't see.
- Set privacy on social media like Facebook to “close friends” or “friends” for personal expression. Try not to publicly announce negativity.
- Regardless of privacy settings, don't write hurtful or untrue words about other people on the internet. Also, don't send texts, photos, or emails that contain harmful content. Don't be a bully in cyberspace.
Part 2 of 3: Improving Reputation
Step 1. Act quickly
If you hear that your reputation is damaged, try to fix it as soon as possible. Minimizing the damage will help to repair your reputation quickly.
- Consider what to do. It depends on what kind of reputation you have attached to yourself. For example, if you have a bad reputation as a bully, stop bothering other people or being pushy. You can volunteer to tutor or mentor young children as a way to improve your reputation. Break down your “bad reputation” into elements. For example, a reputation as a bully means being perceived by others as unkind, disrespectful, manipulative, has anger issues or is selfish. You will have to overcome all of those elements to get rid of the inherent bad reputation.
- Make a list of steps to help. If the damage to your reputation is enormous, you'll need more than one course of action to start repairing it. For example, if you have a bad reputation for being a slacker who never takes you seriously, it will take time and effort to get people to see that you've changed. Consider some ways to reverse that reputation, such as setting an alarm so you won't be late for school, taking extracurricular activities to show that you accept responsibility, and turning in assignments on time to show that you're more organized.
- Don't panic but don't wait too long to fix the situation.
- Consider talking to a trusted person about the approach to take to improve your reputation. An objective opinion can help you see things from a different perspective.
Step 2. Make amends for your mistakes
Talk to the person you have harmed. Ask him to forgive your behavior. Say that you appreciate it and want to improve the relationship. For example, say, “Sarah, I'm sorry for spreading rumors about you. I still want to be your friend. How should I fix it?” Overall, do all of this sincerely.
- In addition to apologizing, offer ways to improve the situation. This shows that you're not just apologizing for people to see. For example, if you have a reputation for always showing up late, don't just say, "Sorry I'm always late." Make a concrete statement about what you're going to do in the future, such as “I'm going to set a reminder on my phone and do everything 10 minutes early so I can show up on time when I have an appointment with all of you. I have to say that I appreciate your time and this friendship.”
- Another example, if you have a reputation for always borrowing money and never returning it, apologizing is fine, but that's not all. Improve your reputation by paying off your debts. If you don't have money right now, say that you'll be working overtime so you can earn money to pay for it. Give a deadline for payment or installments.
- You can also make amends indirectly. For example, if you've done something that caused irreparable damage, you could try to make a difference in other ways. For example, if you drive recklessly that ends up injuring a friend, you can't undo the injury. However, you can offer to do her homework, help her with her homework, or anything else that will make her life easier until she recovers.
Step 3. Clear up any misunderstandings
If your reputation is damaged by rumors, tell the truth. Confront the person spreading the rumor face to face. Ask him why he spread the rumour. Ask him to stop spreading lies. For the people affected by the rumours, tell what really happened.
Spreading gossip is tantamount to bullying. Verbal bullying, such as spreading gossip or blackmailing others by threatening to share personal information, can do a lot of damage. If this happens to you, talk to someone you trust, such as a parent, teacher, or counselor. There is no justification for bullying, and you can seek help to stop it
Step 4. Practice positive behavior
Be helpful and supportive. Show gratitude to others. Consider ways to make a difference both big and small. Smile at others. Give sincere compliments. For example, tell your friend that you found his presentation very interesting. Show kindness to those around you. You can help an elderly neighbor or offer to look after your busy neighbor's child. The more good you do, the better you will feel. In return, you will also help others.
- Pay attention to how you behave during the day. If you notice that you are being negative or unkind, ask why. Try to find the root cause of the behavior. For example, does getting up early in the morning irritate you? If so, try to go to bed earlier so you don't feel tired the next day.
- Show “positive posture”. Try to stand straight, shoulders pulled back, chin lifted. Spread your arms as wide as possible. Feel its power and positivity. Carrying yourself in a “positive posture” will encourage the mind to feel positive as well.
- Keep a gratitude journal. Write down the things you are grateful for. What went well today? You can also ask a friend to be a gratitude partner. Together, you can discuss the good things in life. You can also talk about things that didn't go well.
- Consider volunteering in a benefit program. Studies show that you tend to feel better when you volunteer. Serving others also shows that you are not selfish or evil and that you are willing to work hard to improve society.
- Aim for a positive attitude against a specific reputation. For example, if you have a bad reputation for being selfish, go the extra mile to help others. If you have a bad reputation for gossiping, don't talk about other people and rebuke anyone who is gossiping.
Step 5. Be trustworthy and reliable
Come at the time and place you promised. Do not be late. If someone tells you their secret, don't tell anyone (unless the person is in danger). If other people trust and rely on you, it will help improve your reputation.
- Remember that actions speak louder than words.
- If you accidentally made a mistake, admit it right away. Admitting mistakes will show that you are trustworthy and able to take responsibility for your own actions.
Step 6. Show interest in other people
Show that you are genuinely interested in what other people are doing or thinking. Most people like anyone who asks questions and shows interest in them. Ask your friends who are in need. Take care of your relationship. Show your commitment to others through time, trust, and reciprocity.
- For example, if you have a friend who is a horseman, ask him about a race he is in. Ask the horse's name and how often he trains. If he is competing in a general tournament, consider going to support him.
- If you have a friend who has an illness or has other problems, contact them. Ask how he is. Consider sending cards or flowers. Show that you have not forgotten him.
- Call your friend's birthday even if he lives far away. Keeping up to date with important news and events in your friends' lives shows that you value your friendship with them.
Step 7. Make plans for yourself in the future
Decide what you want to be. Set clear goals for what you want others to feel or think about you. What are the views of others that you think are most important?
- Stay focused on showing who you really are and living up to the values you believe in. “Making people think I'm attractive” isn't a helpful goal, nor is it something you can control. “Live honestly so people know I can be trusted” is a goal that you can control and that is also in line with the character you value.
- If you're not sure what your values are, take some time to think about it. What is most important to you in this life? What are the main beliefs that shape the way you see the world? What makes you respect other people?
Part 3 of 3: Maintaining a Good Reputation
Step 1. Find a responsible partner
Once you've started to improve your reputation, ask a friend to make sure you're responsible for your behavior. When you are negative or hurt someone else, he can let you know. Make sure you ask someone you really trust. It's important that you don't get defensive in front of him. He is there to help you.
Step 2. Present yourself authentically
Even if you try to be a better person, make sure that person is still you. Ask yourself if your appearance, demeanor, tone of voice, and body language reflect who you really are. There is more than one way to be a positive and friendly person. You can have good character but still maintain a unique personality.
Step 3. Be patient
Reputation will not change overnight. It may take some time for you to hear other people say good things about you. Changing other people's negative opinions takes longer than building a good reputation from scratch. The key is not to give up and commit to being the best version of yourself.
