There is no one right and sure way to make a child feel valued. Children feel valued when they are treated with respect and when adults show genuine interest in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. You can cultivate a feeling of respect in your child by setting healthy boundaries and being consistent.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Treat Children With Respect
Step 1. Spend time with your child
This fundamental step is decisive in teaching your child to feel that you value him or her as an individual. Find ways to spend special time alone with your child. This will foster respect and closeness, and will allow you to become more aware of what your child wants and needs.
- The activities you do with your child need not be complicated. Spending time together can be through sightseeing, sharing picnic snacks, or visiting favorite places.
- Your child will be more likely to tell you what he needs if he is comfortable alone with you.
Step 2. Let your child know that he or she is loved
Children need to be reassured that they are loved by the adults around them. This love should not be based on certain conditions. Remember that love is non-judgmental and unconditional.
- Sometimes children whose parents are divorced need additional confirmation that they still have their parents' love.
- Even if you are proud of your child's achievements, make sure he knows that you love him regardless of whether his report card is good or not.
Step 3. Talk to your child often
Talking to your child about his daily activities will let him know that you care about his life. Conversing with adults also gives a child a positive sense of maturity. Include a variety of questions to help support chat.
- Do not enter rhetorical questions that the child may not be able to interpret correctly.
- Instead, use open-ended questions as often as possible, questions that let your child know that you are interested in what he has to say.
Step 4. Encourage the child to chat with words that develop the conversation
Children may not have the ability to express themselves without help. If you want your child to share their experiences with you, help by asking questions like, "So what happened?" or “So?”
- Allowing your child to continue to share their experiences will let them know that you value their personal perspective.
- The chat developer's words are also an example he can imitate when he wants to ask for more information from his friends, other adults, or to improve his ability to clearly convey his own experiences.
Step 5. Show your child respect
When you listen to your child share their experiences that day or when you spend time together, you are showing respect for them. Don't rush her answer or make her feel like you're too busy to notice. To show your child that he is valued, make him feel that you are prioritizing time with him.
- Allow children to answer questions on their own. Try not to be the child's “spokesperson” in the conversation. For example, don't answer questions directed at your child, such as "Budi doesn't like popcorn. He doesn't like it at all!" Instead, turn to Budi and say, “Bud, this auntie asked if you wanted popcorn. Want to?"
- Don't say profanity, and not speaking harshly is an element of respect.
Step 6. Appreciate the child's abilities
Doing something for your child that you can do yourself shows that you doubt his abilities. Instead, let him feel that you appreciate what he can do on his own. For example, instead of dressing your 3-year-old in a jacket, let him do it himself.
- Helping in this way will eventually make the child see himself as helpless.
- Remember that there are cultural differences in ideas about child development, and respect those differences. For example, some cultures teach children to eat with a spoon and fork from childhood, while other cultures eat with their hands.
Step 7. Let the child learn from mistakes
Teaching independence means acknowledging the high likelihood of children making mistakes. This is a natural consequence of learning a new skill. Because young children are concrete thinkers, knowing the natural consequences that follow an action is an important part of their development in learning.
- Showing that you trust him to make his own choices and learn from his mistakes will emphasize that you value his independence.
- Ensure that the consequences of learning do not have a detrimental effect on physical or emotional safety. For example, if your child is just learning to look left and right before crossing the street, you'll want to protect him from crowded intersections. However, it's a good idea to let him practice on his own to look left and right before crossing with you.
Step 8. Give the child choices
Allowing your child to have their pure choice is an important part of showing that you respect their preferences. All of the choices you provide must be equally valid, however, don't make choices that are impossible to fulfill or that you believe your child will not choose. Instead, provide a range of options whenever possible.
- Don't overwhelm your child with the many choices. 2-3 choices are generally sufficient.
- Providing choices that you didn't make yourself will encourage independence in your child.
Method 2 of 2: Showing the Meaning is Appreciated
Step 1. Be consistent
Consistent means that expectations and set rules must be the same from day to day, and place to place. Consistency gives children a feeling of well-being, security, and safety. Consistency teaches children to take responsibility for their actions, and helps provide safe boundaries for exploration.
- If you are inconsistent, you are conveying that his needs are not important to you.
- A regular daily routine at home will help provide a better sense of security for the child. If this routine is based on the child's needs, he will understand that he is valued.
Step 2. Show that you value your own condition
Modeling self-care to children is an important aspect of teaching what it means to be valued. Paying attention to health, hygiene, psychological and emotional needs is part of the meaning of paying attention to self-welfare.
- Don't allow yourself to endure situations where you are the victim of violence, neglect, or unfair treatment.
- If you need help understanding more about self-care, ask a friend or professional for help.
Step 3. Define appropriate boundaries
For a child to feel valued, he or she must feel safe. The sense of security comes from the good and healthy boundaries of adults. Adults are responsible for providing structure and support.
- That doesn't mean you can't have fun with your kids. However, you should be prepared to interrupt exciting games to ensure your child's safety is guaranteed.
- Consider the child's individual personality. Some children need more structure to feel safe than others. You have to meet the specific needs that are appropriate for him.
Step 4. Focus on the negative behavior, not the negative child
Let your child know that even if his behavior is unacceptable in a situation, you still care and love him no matter what. Everyone makes mistakes, makes wrong decisions, and makes mistakes in judgment. If the child knows that he is valued, he will also learn to tell the difference.
- One way to encourage him to learn is to remind him that he has other opportunities to make better choices
- If your child continues to do the same negative behavior, think about your response. If you tend to engage with your child more when he is behaving negatively, he may be acting that way to get your attention.
