Having a crush on someone is perfectly natural and usually harmless, although sometimes it's not easy. There are times when feelings for someone who are impossible, such as for a teacher, just come along uninvited, even though you know they can't be expressed in a relationship. However, sometimes liking turns into an obsession and can cause problems. Learning to overcome a crush on a teacher is part of the tough, but necessary, process towards adulthood. You also have to look at the situation from an outside perspective and think about the problem as if you weren't the one experiencing it. In this way, you can overcome your feelings for someone you cannot reach, both in terms of authority and age.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Accepting Feelings
Step 1. Acknowledge your feelings
Understanding the real problem is the first step to moving forward. Don't be disappointed in yourself. Love is an emotion that everyone has and the human brain is biologically programmed to fall in love.
Step 2. Allow yourself to grieve
Forgetting relationships is difficult, including relationships that never really existed. Give yourself time to feel disappointed and hurt, then muster the strength to carry on with your life as usual. Make sure you don't grieve too long.
Even if you're sad, don't forget to cheer yourself up. Try taking a warm bath, listening to your favorite song, and saying nice words to yourself
Step 3. Be determined to forget
An important step in getting over your crush on the teacher is realizing that a relationship will never be established. Remind yourself again and again that you have to be strong for your own happiness and development.
Remember, you will like other people. For many people, liking a teacher is inappropriate even though the feeling itself is not wrong. The law prohibits adults from having relationships with minors or minors. There will be other people you like more in the future, and people you can relate to. Focus on the future, without lamenting feelings that actually can still change
Part 2 of 4: Behaving Appropriately in Class
Step 1. Focus on the lesson
You go to school to learn and get a good education. So, use the energy you previously spent thinking about the teacher to think about the lesson. In this way, your performance can increase and your mind will be distracted.
Step 2. Stop thinking about your teacher in a romantic way
Thoughts usually influence actions and what is imagined tends to happen, and others will see it. In other words, thinking about the teacher will increase your chances of doing something you'll later regret.
Try to focus on what you don't like about the teacher. It doesn't mean thinking about anything negative, but reminding yourself that the relationship you're imagining isn't as perfect as it really is. For example, differences in age, appearance, etc
Step 3. Limit interactions
You can interact in class, but don't look for it outside or arrange ways to spend time together other than in class. That's not true, especially since the age gap is quite large. As an adult, you can relate to older people, but because you are a teenager, relationships with older teachers are considered inappropriate.
Don't make contact on social media or try to meet outside of school. Respect his position as a teacher, and give him the opportunity to do his job well
Step 4. Use an if-then plan
Decide how you will react to impulses. In this way, you will be able to overcome your feelings.
Think about how you behave when you talk to the teacher, then follow the plan
Part 3 of 4: Asking for Outside Help
Step 1. Talk to an advisor
If you're worried that this liking is affecting your daily life and preventing you from concentrating on your studies, talk to a therapist or tutor.
If you're concerned about privacy, talk to a therapist, not a tutor. The therapist has a code of ethics to keep what you talk about confidential. The supervising teacher is not bound by the code, and it is possible to report the information you disclose
Step 2. Talk to a friend
Maybe a friend of yours has suppressed a crush on someone, and he or she can offer some new advice or perspectives. Even though he has nothing to offer, just pouring your feelings out is enough so you don't feel alone.
Step 3. Change classes
If you can't stop thinking about it or can't keep yourself from interacting within a reasonable amount of time, maybe you need to take more drastic steps. Talk to the supervising teacher or principal about the possibility of changing classes.
State your reasons honestly. If the school doesn't know what your real reason is, your request may not be granted. Trust that they are professionals and trained to deal with many situations, including students who have feelings for teachers
Part 4 of 4: Moving On
Step 1. Distract with extracurricular activities
Cultivate a new hobby and explore an old interest. Join new sports clubs and teams, or renew commitments to old activities. Devote the time and energy you previously spent imagining the teacher on something productive. Also, try to go out and find new people to keep you company and as a distraction.
Step 2. Enjoy the company of friends
Develop relationships with other people, especially those of the same age. Strengthen existing friendships and make new ones. Opening your mind to meeting and spending time with new people can help you forget your love more quickly.
Step 3. Visit a new place
Vacation or looking for a new atmosphere is a healthy change. Traveling can help you expand your mind and see the world from a different perspective. Traveling also teaches patience, flexibility, and changing points of view, all of which are important qualities that will help you to forget about feelings that are out of place.
Step 4. Try dating someone else
The best way to forget old people is to connect with new people. Don't rush if you're not comfortable, but open up to the idea of dating and being in a relationship with people your age because you have to move on with your life.
There's no set rule for how long you have to wait after a heartbreak. However, you should take a break to rediscover who you are, what you like, and what you want from the person you want to be with
Tips
- Don't let feelings interfere with your studies. Clear your mind and free yourself from any distractions.
- Accept that liking someone is an everyday part of life. Don't worry, psychologists believe that love only lasts about four months.
Warning
- If you want to share your feelings with other people, make sure the person you choose is trustworthy. If it reaches the wrong ears, information like this can be very embarrassing.
- Remember that the relationship between teacher and student usually does not end well. Both sides will run into serious problems if they force themselves together, and one of your teachers could end up in jail. Students are usually not the type of teacher, and even if they are, teachers usually avoid contact with students because of the implications and complications. So, the best option for you is to forget about it and move on with your life.
- If you are a minor, dealing with adults will be very dangerous for you.
- If you're a minor, having a relationship with a teacher is illegal, with a variety of consequences for adults, from sexual harassment charges to prison terms. Teachers are at risk of losing their jobs if they are involved in illegal relationships with students.
- If you think a teacher is behaving inappropriately with you, immediately consult a tutor, therapist, or parent.
