Would you like to feel more confident when expressing your opinion? Do you want others to hear your point of view? Do you have trouble defending your point of view in a conversation? Outspokenness is a quality that, if used wisely, can make you stand out from the crowd. Being outspoken means getting out what's on your mind, being honest and forthright, but remaining tactful. Being outspoken doesn't mean you have to open up completely and say things you shouldn't so that you lose boundaries or let out a lot of negativity and criticism at every turn. The quality of being outspoken is a positive skill that many people want.
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Part 1 of 3: Finding Your “Voice”
Step 1. Get to know yourself by keeping a journal
Knowing who you really are, what you believe, what you think, feel, and want is the first step to knowing yourself, and journaling is a great way to do that. Write a journal about yourself for 15 minutes before bedtime. In addition to getting to know yourself better, journaling about yourself is also great for boosting self-confidence, which is an important foundation for being outspoken. Try the journal topics below as a start.
- What would be the ideal birthday gift for you? Why?
- What's the bravest thing you've ever done?
- Who is the person you admire the most and why?
- How would you like to be remembered by others?
Step 2. Be confident
In order to be forthright, you must believe that what you have to say is worth saying and listening to. You have to believe that your input will make the conversation you are having a better conversation. And indeed, different opinions always make a conversation or debate more interesting.
- If you're having trouble feeling confident, an easy way to start is to talk about a topic you know well. The more you know about the topic being discussed, the more comfortable you will be discussing it.
- For example, if you are a martial arts practitioner, talk about self-defense. If you like gardening, talk gardening. Make yourself comfortable in a conversation by discussing what is close to you.
- More practice in your area of expertise will help you spread to other, more abstract topics like government, ethics, and religion.
Step 3. Overcome shyness
Just because you're confident doesn't mean you like hearing your own voice. The next step you need to take is to overcome your shyness. Overcoming your natural tendency to feel shy can be difficult. But if you can fight this natural instinct, you can get more adventurous new choices.
Step 4. Find your strengths
Your strengths usually come from your interests. It's easy to be outspoken if what you're saying and discussing is something you're interested in. Once you know your strengths, be confident in expressing your point of view or even leading a project or activity that requires your strengths. To find your strengths, ask the following questions.
- What are your interests?
- What is your hobby?
- What is your best subject in school?
- In which areas do you work best?
Step 5. Develop your opinion
You don't want to sound like someone who doesn't know what you're saying, because that will discourage people from listening to you. Plus, being outspoken can be really hard if you don't have anything to say. Build your opinion on topics that are frequently discussed in your social circle. Remember, an opinion comes from oneself, and cannot be considered wrong.
- If you don't have an opinion on something, do a little research on it and build your opinion from there.
- Not having an opinion on something also signifies your position on the topic, i.e. you feel the topic is unimportant and not worth debating.
- For example, you may feel uninterested in celebrity gossip because you simply don't care. You can keep quiet or say that you are not interested in the topic.
Step 6. Support your opinion with facts and evidence
Some people feel uncomfortable expressing their opinion because they don't know much about the topic being discussed. You can fight these feelings and have more confidence in your opinion by finding out the facts that can support your opinion.
For example, if your friends and family are always discussing healthcare, read some articles on the topic and make your opinion. If you can back up your point of view with facts, you'll feel more comfortable voicing your opinion
Step 7. Choose your “battle”
You don't want to be someone who has an opinion anywhere and anytime and is an outspoken person just because you want to be seen as blunt or someone who always wants an opportunity to make the final decision. Know what you really like and are interested in and then give your opinion on those things.
Speak only when you feel concerned about the topic. If you keep spitting out opinions or contradictions over and over, you'll come across as fussy and annoying. You want to get people to pay attention and care about your opinion, not always looking for an argument
Step 8. Know when to be silent
Some environments force us to be extroverts because there is an assumption that in certain environments, people value someone who can speak up, can keep the conversation interesting, and form meaningful relationships with one another. However, there are times when silence can be the most diplomatic and effective way of communicating.
You don't have to be outspoken all the time. Be forthright when you feel your opinion needs to be voiced and defended. If not, it's a good idea to keep quiet
Step 9. Open your mind
This is also a good ethical argument. In order for you to express your opinion and be seen as a rational person and worth listening to, you must not be seen as a closed-minded and arrogant bigot. Allowing the other person to express their opinion can help you build your own opinion better.
This needs to be considered before, after, and when you express your opinion. There is nothing wrong with admitting that someone is right if he or she is right and has solid evidence and reasons. Many people can continue to insist on their point of view, but few are willing to admit that they are wrong and then stop the debate
Part 2 of 3: Interacting with Others
Step 1. Practice with a trusted friend
Being outspoken is sometimes misunderstood as being rude and stubborn. To learn the art of being outspoken, choose friends who know you and care about you. Practice expressing your opinion honestly and boldly or decisively. A good friend will help you to be outspoken until you can do it naturally by giving you criticism and suggestions.
Being outspoken usually sounds a lot more diplomatic, whereas being rude and harsh usually sounds arrogant
Step 2. Get rid of your fear
Worrying about what other people think of you can be intimidating. But you have to get rid of that feeling. By expressing yourself well after you've built your opinion as strongly as you can, you can feel more confident in your opinion and not have to worry about what other people think.
Step 3. Be wise
You can be outspoken but still wise and sensitive to other people's feelings. Knowing when to be outspoken and what you want to say can be a sign of a wise person.
If you are, for example, an atheist, the church where you attend the funeral of a friend or relative is certainly not the right place to voice your opinion about atheism
Step 4. Speak well
Damaging a strong argument with inappropriate expressions or words is certainly not a good thing. If you do that, people will focus on how you say things, not what you say. Avoid this by using kind words. Imagine people who have good speech, such as newsreaders speaking and compiling their thoughts. Imitate them.
Sometimes, part of being well-spoken is not just saying the important words. Being effective and concise in expressing opinions can also be a form of good speech
Step 5. Know when to end the argument
In addition to knowing when to argue, you need to be able to assess the situation and know when to stop arguing. When you have said your opinion, let your words and ideas work and be absorbed by others. You don't need to go any further.
Look for signs from your interlocutor. If someone starts to feel offended, irritated, or shows negative emotions, back off. You can come back with your opinion at a later time if needed
Step 6. Keep practicing
All traits can be learned. As you begin to be able to be outspoken naturally, you will become more used to hearing your own opinion and seeing how other people react when you speak.
Try to express your opinion once a day. Then start voicing your opinion if you feel your opinion needs to be out and shouldn't be. If someone asks you why you changed, tell them honestly that you want to be outspoken
Part 3 of 3: Delivering Things Effectively
Step 1. Be outspoken at home and at work
Expressing your opinion in front of family members is certainly much easier. But doing the same in the office may be much more difficult. However, being able to overcome difficult things is an important thing in the learning process. If you can also be outspoken at work, you'll see the benefits sooner or later.
The more often you do something, the more comfortable you will be doing it, whatever it is. So, start right away. If you have got, say so. All you need to do is once a day until you feel less afraid and awkward to speak up
Step 2. Don't try to convince other people
Intelligent and open debate can be very refreshing and enjoyable. However, talking to someone who pushes his opinion until you acknowledge his opinion is certainly not fun. Don't be the one who won't quit until everyone agrees with you. Your purpose in speaking is not to convince them.
Step 3. Remember, your opinion is not the only one
Some people have a hard time expressing their opinion without appearing to force it. This happens because they feel confident that their opinion is 100 percent correct. Have you ever wondered why other people don't understand and agree with your opinion? Because they also think the same.
If you're reading this guide, chances are you're not an arrogant opinionated person. However, you may come face-to-face with such a person one day. Tell them that their one-sided opinion will make the debate unpleasant. There is no point in arguing with this kind of person, so avoid arguing with him
Step 4. Don't put other people down
Once you've expressed your opinion, you'll see other people have their say. You will also be surprised and wonder why other people have opinions that you think are strange or unreasonable. If you start to feel that way, don't start looking down on other people because it won't do you any good and will make you look mean and disrespectful to other people's opinions.
Try to keep your directness from being accompanied by casual judgments of others. If you don't feel like going to the movies with your friends, just say so. If someone is venting about a trivial issue they're having and really isn't worth it, voice your opinion more diplomatically
Step 5. Listen to the other person
As much as possible, listen to other people's opinions before you come up with your own.
Listening first is important. Maybe the points you are about to convey are already owned and conveyed by someone else, or maybe there are people who have better and stronger points. The only way to satisfy yourself by being outspoken is to listen before you speak
Tips
- Don't say something that smells of SARA and offends other people
- Make sure you always express your opinion in a polite and courteous manner.
- Don't be afraid and ashamed. Your opinion is definitely useful in a discussion or chat.
- If you feel like someone else's opinion or what they have said is wrong, say it in private, not in an open forum.
- State your opinion as briefly as possible. Opinions conveyed briefly and clearly are much more effective.
Warning
- You'll likely make new enemies as you get more outspoken. But usually not in large quantities if you are a kind and honest person. On the other hand, you will become more respected.
- Some of your friends may just like people who are shy and careful. But after all, everyone has to change if that's for the best.
- Avoid profanity when expressing opinions. Obscenity can cause others to ignore your points and opinions, so that your opinion loses its power.
- Be careful when arguing with people who have authority such as bosses, teachers, and so on.
