In some cases, when someone really hates you, they will come clean. However, in general, people will force themselves to harbor such hatred. Hating is a very complicated emotion and usually someone will hate you when you do something, but actually they don't hate themselves You. The instructions below will help you determine if someone hates you, and how to act appropriately.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Reading the Signs
Step 1. Watch their eyes
Things that are considered too harsh to say directly can usually be seen through the eyes. In fact, some of our emotions will be written in the size of the pupil of the eye, something that humans cannot control. You can see through their eyes when someone gets frustrated while talking to you.
- Looking up and to the right is a sign of boredom.
- The pupil of the eye will dilate when a person feels interested and will usually shrink when he feels bored.
- Avoiding eye contact may be a sign that the person is hiding something from you, they don't trust you, or are afraid of you.
Step 2. Pay attention to extreme emotions
Extreme emotions can be a sign that something is wrong with your relationship. However, you should pay attention to the extremes compared to their attitude, not to what you or your friends consider normal. Take note:
- Tension and stiffness, especially in the shoulders
- Boredom or lack of interest
- Being silly or melodramatic
- The tone of their voices
- How fast or how slow do they respond
Step 3. Notice the differences
Humans will usually behave differently depending on how they feel about their behavior or words. There are tons of subtle (and usually unconscious) clues that can help tell how someone feels about something they don't want to discuss or when they're lying. The basic idea of a polygraph test, also known as a lie detector, is used to see the difference in how people respond when they are telling the truth and when they are lying. While you can't use machines to monitor differences in someone's behavior, there are a few pointers that can help you see if they hate you:
- Anything that suggests they are lying or trying to mislead you. Look for signs that indicate that they are trying to contain their emotions, because people tend to get very emotional when they are lying or trying to hide something.
- How does this person communicate with you vs. how they communicate with other people.
- How do they behave when you're talking about something that requires their attention (for example, work if they're your co-workers) and when you're discussing something they don't have to talk to you about.
- How do they behave when you have something they need vs. how they behave at other times. For example, If you were a good student at school, were they good when they needed help and bad at other times? If this is the case, then they may not like you.
- How they behave in different situations. If someone hates you, they will probably have almost the same attitude towards you in most situations, unless some other factor forces them to pretend they like you. If they behave differently in different situations, then there may be other factors at play and this means their behavior has nothing to do with how they feel about you.
Step 4. Don't blame other emotions for hatred
Sometimes it can be difficult to distinguish things like jealousy, genitals, fear and hatred. Things to consider when you make a decision:
- Is this person generally shy and quiet?
- Do you have the item or position they want or make them feel jealous?
- Are you ambitious or demanding? Is it possible that they are afraid of you or your reaction?
Step 5. Notice how open they are with you
Although everyone differs in their personal life under various circumstances, if someone routinely keeps information related to your work from you, then chances are there is a problem between you two. This may not constitute hatred and may be mere forgetfulness, but it is certainly worth investigating when they become imprecise. Things that should be shared are:
- Something related to a project you are working on together.
- Information that can clearly help you do your job or be happier.
- Messages that other people leave for them to pass on to you.
Method 2 of 3: Knowing the Signs That Matter
Step 1. Don't take it to heart
Keep an eye and see if the person is always rude and looks bored when dealing with everyone. Maybe it's not just you, but that person always behaves like this towards everyone.
Step 2. Look for a particular trend
If someone only sees you once, and doesn't usually act like they don't like you, then there's probably nothing wrong with that. Everyone has bad days, and those bad days can make people grumpy and mean. To make sure that this person really hates you, you have to pay attention to how they behave in the long term rather than just focusing on one or two events.
Step 3. Don't confuse unwiseness and hate
Especially if the person you're thinking of isn't someone who knows you well, they may not realize that their behavior and words have angered you. There are some people who have difficulty understanding social cues, and may not understand negative reactions to their behavior. Likewise, there are many people who speak without thinking and this then leads them to say something they will regret later. An indicator of any of the above is whether they often say hurtful things to many people. This is not a sign that they hate you, but a sign that they have problems socializing.
Step 4. Pay attention to the source of the information
If you hear from someone that someone hates you, consider the accuracy of the information. Ask them why he or she thinks the person hates you, and consider the reliability of their reasons. If they are notorious gossipers and like to spread discord, consider whether they are telling you in order to provoke you or they are making things easy for everyone.
Step 5. Watch your own behavior
If the person you think hates you is only mean when you do certain things, consider maybe what they hate is behavior and not You. Things that might make people irritated and angry are:
- Specific topics of conversation
- Language or symbols that offend them
- Jokes that they think are inappropriate
- Requests for them to do or change something
- How to interact with other people, especially close friends or people who are important to them
- Degree of physical closeness– for example, many people hug everyone they know, and there are also people who only do this to certain people. They may feel uncomfortable with how often you hug them.
Method 3 of 3: Staying Accord
Step 1. Ask a question
If you notice that someone is irritated or angry when they interact with you, try to ask nicely and kindly about what made them angry with you. Explaining to them that you are only asking for information and not asking them to change their attitude can help prevent confrontation. If you don't want to confront them personally, a note or voicemail can give them time to think about how they should respond to you, which is better than having them react instinctively, as this will only serve as self-defense not solving the problem. Remember that even if you ask perfectly, they may still attack you and you can't do anything about it. Some examples of questions are:
- "You always look sad, is there anything I can do to help and cheer you up?"
- "I feel that you treat me differently from other people, why is that?"
- “I notice that you look angry at _, is there anything I can do to make you happy?”
- "Did I do something to upset you? I feel like you're angry with me and I don't know why."
Step 2. Try to see it from their point of view
Consider how you would react if someone treated you the way you treated them. Some possibilities to consider are:
- Could it be that they feel you are giving them an unfair workload?
- Do you express anger towards them more often than happiness?
- Do you often disagree with the things they say? Even if you try to keep your disagreements in check, they may still be able to see in the fact that you are harboring your emotions and don't trust you
Step 3. Don't be angry
Yelling or being rude will not improve the situation. Stay calm, and try to come to a compromise that is acceptable to both. Remember that you can't get other people to talk to you in a natural way, and if they can't accept your opposition, there's nothing you can do but avoid them.
Step 4. Be careful not to become a victim
Some unhappy people will vent their anger on people who are completely unrelated to the source of their unhappiness. It's hard to see if this person hates you or is using you to vent their frustration, but both cases can help to stand up for yourself and are not easy targets. When you're being bullied, use a neutral tone and say something like:
- "That is a very evil thing to say."
- "Why would you say that?"
- "I'm sorry if you don't like this dress, but it's my favorite." (or take it more seriously by saying something like "This is my mother's favorite dress, and she died last year.")
- "I apologize if it upset you. I didn't mean to irritate you."
Step 5. Apologize if you have done something to upset or upset someone
If you initiated the conflict, then they will likely feel that it is your responsibility to resolve it. Although this has been the case for a long time, it's never too late to fix it.
Tips
- There will always be people who don't like you, no matter what you do. If you've tried everything you can to fix your relationship, then maybe it's time to let go and move on with your life.
- You don't have to spend time with people who stress you out. Whether they hate you or not, if you can't communicate with them in a way that is acceptable to both parties, then you should forgive and forget.
- Don't create drama around you, whether the person hates you or not, or even dramatize the fact that someone hates you. Others in your community, be they friends, family or coworkers, will appreciate it if you minimize drama.
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If you can't come to terms with this person, then avoiding them may be the best option. Don't annoy them by trying to find out if the person hates you. Even trying to mend the relationship can add to the problem if you can't make progress.
