Gentlemen always respect the people he meets, from ideal women to seniors who need help carrying groceries. Gentlemen are very concerned about appearance, are polite to those who deserve it, and treat all women well, including women who reject their love. In order to be a gentleman, you need to know yourself, be mature, and respect others. Even though chivalry is becoming obsolete these days, you have the advantage of being able to show respect and concern for others.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Maintaining Appearance
Step 1. Keep your body clean
Gentlemen always look attractive and odor-free when active in public places. Sweating while exercising is normal, but it becomes a problem if you are finished or not exercising. Keep your body clean every day so that you always look good while traveling.
- Get used to bathing 2 times a day.
- Use deodorant and cologne sparingly. The smell of deodorant, cologne, or perfume that is too strong is unpleasant, even disturbing to others.
- You can use certain products when styling your hair, but be careful if you want to use hair gel. This product is similar to glue and hardens after application so that the hair becomes stiff, even oily.
- Neat hair or cool clothes are useless if your body smells unpleasant. Prioritize cleanliness and freshness of the body so that others are not disturbed by disturbing scents or makeup.
- Get in the habit of flushing the toilet and washing your hands after using the restroom. Gentlemen care for themselves and others by preventing the spread of disease. In addition, if there are other men in public restrooms, you set an example by always maintaining cleanliness.
Step 2. Wear clothes that make you look good
Make sure you wear clothes that match your size and body shape. Avoid brightly colored clothes and hip-hop looks (eg wearing a baseball cap turned sideways). Instead of relying on clothing, the positive personality shown through simple and neat clothes makes men look more attractive. You become an elegant gentleman when you wear simple, neat, and attractive clothes.
- Choose clothes in black, gray, dark blue, and brown. Gentlemen are free to choose the color of their clothes, but classic colors for men are not bright colors.
- Wear classic clothing, such as a button-down shirt and khaki trousers.
- Wear sports clothes only when exercising. Gentlemen never wear formal clothes when climbing mountains, practicing karate, or playing tennis. He also never wore a tennis suit, unless he was about to, was in, or had just finished playing tennis.
- The definition of "striking" differs according to culture and situation. For example, white linen pants and a pink shirt may look cool in a tropical country, but they are considered flashy when worn to board meetings in Europe.
- Wear trousers that are the right size for your body. Wearing a waistband to keep your trousers neat shows that you really care about your appearance.
- If you need a new dress, make sure you try it on before you buy or have a tailor make it for you. Gentlemen are very concerned about their appearance and are willing to take the time to be able to wear clothes that fit their body size. Instead of wearing clothes that are too big, this step shows that you are a man who really cares about his appearance.
- Make sure your shoes are always clean. Some say that the first thing a woman notices when talking to a man is her shoes. Brushing your shoes is a practical and effective way to create a positive impression. What's more, wearing clean shoes shows that you value people who will see them when you're out and about.
- Choose clothes that suit the atmosphere. Maintain a neat and polite fashion style, for example wearing office attire at work or formal attire when attending a wedding. Remember, clothes that are too neat are always better than clothes that are not neat.
Step 3. Style your hair to keep it neat
In order to become a gentleman, you must comb your hair, shave your face, trim your mustache and/or beard regularly. Instead of looking disheveled because of messy facial hair, make time to shave every morning. Carry a comb in your pocket so you can comb your hair (without being seen by others) if your hair is blowing in the wind or if it's not tidy after a long day of activities.
- Clean nails give a different impression. Take the time to clean and trim your nails every few days to keep your hands looking clean.
- Trim the nose hairs sticking out to make the face look more attractive.
Step 4. Shake hands firmly
Gentlemen know how to shake hands properly. Whether you're meeting your potential boss, your boyfriend's father, or your sister's boyfriend, make sure you make eye contact, shake his hand firmly, and show that you really want to interact with him. Don't hold the other person's hand so hard to sound strong. Hold her hand firmly to make a positive impression while giving attention to others. This step shows that you are a gentleman who is willing to interact with new people.
If you are sitting down and being introduced to someone, be polite by standing up before shaking hands with them
Step 5. Don't be rude when you're in public
Don't pass gas, burp, talk loudly, whine, grab your crotch, or get drunk in public. Gentlemen are always able to control themselves physically and mentally. However, apologize if you do, instead of pretending nothing happened.
- Remember that a gentleman is someone who is able to socialize without drama or self-embarrassment.
- Self-awareness plays an important role so that you can become a gentleman. Make sure you always consider what other people think of you and avoid actions or words that offend others.
Part 2 of 4: Be Polite and Kind to Everyone
Step 1. Help others
Think of different ways to help others, such as waiting a few seconds while holding the door for the person behind you or offering someone to help carry groceries to the car. Don't push yourself or do anything dangerous (for example, you don't have to hold the door for other people if you're carrying heavy items) because all you need to do is show respect. Gentleman men not only pay attention to the ideal woman, but ignore other people. Being a gentleman means respecting yourself and others, not just the people you like or care about.
There are people who need help, but don't hesitate to ask for it. For example, the person holding the tray of food and drink may find it helpful to hold the door for them, but they won't ask for help
Step 2. Have a polite conversation
Prepare a question or say a polite sentence, for example, "How are you?", "Can I help you?", "Let me get it," or "I'm here to help." Take time to learn to speak slowly, carefully, and politely even when you are busy. When you meet a neighbor or your dream girl at school, don't forget to smile, be friendly, and have a chat with her. Gentlemen never ignore others even when they are in a hurry. He always wants to know and understand other people.
The ability to converse is one of the characteristics of a dignified and mature person. Both are important aspects of being a gentleman
Step 3. Never curse others
Don't swear. Don't be rude. If you can't get rid of the habit of swearing, reduce it as much as possible. Men who like to swear are not gentlemen. If you still swear, apologize and try not to repeat it. If you find yourself in a certain situation that prompts you to swear, such as watching a sports game or dealing with a traffic jam, try to control yourself so that you remain a gentleman.
Apart from swearing, don't use harsh or obscene words. Keep in mind that sayings that are humorous to you and your friends, but not polite may irritate the girl of your dreams
Step 4. Don't talk too much about yourself
When you meet new friends, you can introduce yourself, but don't tell them everything about yourself. In addition to being a fun person to talk to, you're intrigued by not telling too much about yourself. For many women, this behavior makes men more attractive. Learn the basics about music, sports, and politics to sound smart when you have a conversation. Also, make sure you cover topics that are useful and try to keep up-to-date information on the subject you want to cover.
When chatting with new friends, ask about your hobbies, hobbies, and things you want to do. Make sure the other person knows that you are more interested in hearing the story than about yourself
Step 5. Don't discuss controversial or unpleasant topics
Avoid political issues if you don't know the person you're talking to well. Be neutral when he talks about it. You just listen with a smile and nod every now and then. Gentlemen don't want to offend other people. Be a good listener and a pleasant person to talk to, instead of trying to prove that you are right and that other people's opinions are useless. You don't have to brag to impress the woman of your dreams because even more impressive is the ability to interact with other people.
Get to know the people you interact with. The fun thing for friends who live in the village is not being invited to the gym by a cool metropolitan guy. Try to understand the needs and wants of others
Step 6. Show respect for others
Instead of just being polite and kind to women, gentlemen are men who respect fellow men, the elderly, even children. He is positive not only from time to time because he must always behave well and show respect to everyone who deserves it. When chatting, respect the other person's personal area by standing or sitting not too close together. Respect other people's privacy by not interfering in their personal lives or asking personal issues. Gentlemen always make others feel comfortable and valued, rather than feeling ignored.
- When you run into someone you know, say hello and ask how they're doing, but make sure you don't bother them when they want to be alone.
- Don't talk too loudly or make a lot of noise in public places and at home so that neighbors will be annoyed. A gentleman never acts as if he is alone on this planet.
- Respect friends who are eating together by covering your mouth while you chew food.
Step 7. Don't use physical violence
In some situations, physical fights are unavoidable, but make sure this is done to protect yourself or others. However, this condition is rare.
- Remember, literally, "jentelmen" means being gentle and avoiding violence when solving problems.
- You should leave immediately or call the police if necessary.
- Self-protection techniques (eg in martial arts) always emphasize physical action as a last resort.
Part 3 of 4: Being Polite to Women
Step 1. Respect women
Looking at a woman up and down as if she were just a statue was an extremely despicable act. Women are fellow human beings who have thoughts, desires, and dreams. Don't look down on women and think of them as decorations. When you meet a woman you don't know, ask her for her name, occupation, hobbies, etc., instead of looking at her as if you want to strip her of your thoughts.
Gentlemen understand that women must be respected. He doesn't start conversations in a cheap manner because he prefers a dignified and fun discussion while being humorous
Step 2. Show respect for women through action
For example, on a date, open the car door or room door, pull out a chair before he sits down. Since every woman's desires are different, find out what kind of a gentleman she likes. For example, lending him a coat when he's cold is a gentleman's behavior, but don't push him if he refuses.
Step 3. Choose the side of the road that is near the traffic when you walk with women on the highway
Gentelmen actions that seem old-fashioned aims to "protect" women from passing vehicles while the two of you are walking. You can skip this step, but make sure you know it. If you do, find out the positive impact of this gesture by paying attention to the response he gives.
Step 4. Don't discuss topics that women are not interested in
If he seems disinterested when you discuss a certain subject, change the subject.
Step 5. Don't insult women
You can joke with women, but don't be rude. Joking is different from speaking impolitely. Even if it's witty, women will be offended if a man says something indecent. Also, don't feel smarter than a woman about something just because you're a man and feel capable of teaching what you know.
- Know one of the characteristics of a fake gentleman. This man was initially nice to the woman of his dreams, but immediately looked down on her as soon as he realized that he was rejected. Being a gentleman means being able to accept the fact that not all women like you and being nice to him whether he likes you or not.
- When approaching women, don't use the "negging" technique, which is emotional manipulation by demeaning or giving insincere compliments to women. This technique developed among Pick Up Artists which aims to undermine the female ego so that the man doesn't seem to need it by being annoying and not expecting anything from women. This is a mentality so shameful and selfish that no intelligent, mature, or dignified woman would accept it. Men like this will be called criminals, parasites, cheaters, or opportunists, rather than geniuses.
Step 6. Show respect to your female friends when you two separate after dating
Accompany him walking to the door of the house or car. If he needs to walk or park far from the lodge or home, offer to drive him or accompany him. However, don't force the urge so that he feels he has lost the freedom to travel alone.
If a girl friend comes to your house, it's not appropriate for you to stay on the couch waving and saying "see you later" when she comes home. At least, accompany him to walk to the fence of the house or car
Step 7. Consider carefully before applying social etiquette according to ancient traditions
Knowing the ancient social etiquette that is appropriate for today is not easy. Etiquette that was considered good half a century ago does not necessarily match the demands of today's era. As a guide, try to understand the level of independence of modern women. If he doesn't seem to like your etiquette, try to understand him. Some of the following etiquette are traditions that used to be considered gentlemen, but are now starting to be abandoned.
- Pay after you both eat at the restaurant.
- Walk side by side, instead of in front.
- Stand up when a woman enters the room.
- Give a seat to a woman.
Part 4 of 4: Becoming a Gentleman as a Lover
Step 1. Show concern for your lover
When you meet your lover, be kind to him. If he's carrying a heavy object and laying it on the floor, pick it up and say, "Oh, let me help," to let him know that you want to help. Remember that indifference makes you unattractive. If you both watch TV and he likes soap operas or sports, choose his favorite show. He will appreciate your concern.
However, don't let him feel helpless or that you have to do everything. If he objected to you carrying things or helping him, don't force it. Give help when he needs it, rather than being forced to
Step 2. Give a gift to your lover as a surprise
Apart from holidays or birthdays, he will be happy if you suddenly give him a card or flowers. Price and appearance are not important. Your effort and attention is what counts. For example, give him a rose, put a love letter on his desk, give him a favorite book he hasn't had time to buy, or cook a menu he likes. The gift lets him know that you always remember him and are willing to put in the effort to give him something.
While candy and flowers are great gifts, homemade gifts are even more fun. Instead of giving him a "mediocre" gift, show that you're always thinking about him by buying 2 of his favorite shows, a souvenir with his name as a souvenir from a tourist spot you visited, or a poster that reminds you of him
Step 3. Give him affection
If you really love your boyfriend, show this by giving him affection. When you both want to cross the street, hold his hand. When you're alone, kiss her forehead or stroke her hair, but make sure it's not against tradition or by law. Gentlemen always behave politely and do not impose desires that violate decency.
Gentleman men feel proud when seen alone with a lover and give affection to his lover even though he is hanging out with friends. Don't ignore your boyfriend when you're socializing, but a guy making out in public isn't a gentleman
Step 4. Be a defender to protect your lover
Don't punch a guy walking with your boyfriend, but if someone is being rude to him, intervene. Embrace your lover and leave immediately or approach the attacker and protect your lover. Physical contact makes him feel safe and the assailant knows he has to confront both of you. Gentleman men will not stand by when their lover is abused by other men through words or actions.
You don't need to curse or hit the attacker. Be tactful and speak dignified words so that he realizes his mistake
Step 5. Don't tell other people negative things about your lover
So that you can be a gentleman, do not tell anyone your lover's shortcomings. Complaining about things you don't like or acting like you don't like them may give you some relief, but these behaviors are very bad and embarrassing. It could be that your lover knows the information that you pass on to other people so that you seem outrageous. When talking to a friend about your boyfriend, share his kindness or ask for advice if you're having a problem.
Respect for everyone and yourself is important so that you can become a gentleman. Indulging in the shortcomings of oneself and others so that they become a laughing stock is a very shameful act
Step 6. Don't tell anyone personal things about your lover
Gentleman men never tell friends what he did with his girlfriend on a date, especially a personal one, such as what was discussed on a date. It is enough that both of you know. Sharing personal information about your lover to others is the worst way to treat a woman.
You should keep private issues about your lover a secret, whether the two of you are still together or separated. He will feel disappointed and angry if he finds out. Instead of being a gentleman, you will be called a gossip
Step 7. Don't ask your boyfriend to do what he doesn't like
Gentlemen are able to accept boundaries when in a relationship and respect them. If your boyfriend refuses to make out, even to touch you before marriage, respect his decision, instead of forcing him to do things that are not polite. Many men think it's okay to have sex or make out before marriage, but every woman has the right to set boundaries and determine how to respect her body. Never demand that your boyfriend break his boundaries and make him feel guilty for sticking to the rules consistently.
The gentleman lets his girlfriend decide how far the two of you will go without making him feel guilty for refusing your request. In addition, gentlemen are able to understand women and patiently wait until they find a woman who is worthy of being his life partner
Tips
- Cleanliness and neat appearance are very important, but for a gentleman, appearance is not everything.
- Try to help others in various ways. Don't be a selfish person. Respect others as you would like to be respected.
- When talking to other people, don't forget to smile and make eye contact to connect the two of you emotionally. Try to listen to what the other person is saying without being distracted. Be a good listener if he still has things to say.
- Don't honk the horn when you're picking up a date. Get in the habit of walking to his door and knocking or pressing the bell.
- If you are insulted, don't insult back. This attitude can provoke anger so that there is an argument. It's best to say goodbye, but don't sound scared. An easy way to stop an argument is to say, "Maybe you're right."
- Wear neat and clean clothes so that you can appear as a gentleman. In addition, men look very attractive if they are gentlemen every day.
- Do a steady handshake. Don't be too weak, but not too strong so as not to sound intimidating.
- Get in the habit of being aware of the situation around you and your every action because other people's opinion of you determines how well others accept you.
- Take off your hat when you enter a house or building.
- Don't be fickle. Once you've made a decision, do it as best you can. A woman will reject a man who can't make up his mind in a situation that he has control over and options for. If your decision is wrong and he finds out, apologize and learn from the mistake. Say thanks to him. This attitude shows leadership, a willingness to improve, and most importantly, a willingness to be a good listener!
Warning
- If you get into an argument but want to give in, stop the argument and don't start it again.
- Helping others is a good thing, but don't push yourself.
- Gentlemen have self-respect and dignity, but are humble and wise. Being a gentleman doesn't mean you are better than other people. A proud man is not a gentleman.
- Gentlemen are ready to accept defeat. Make sure you know the difference between standing up and being a loser.
- Do not take drugs and alcohol because it makes you unable to think clearly. Gentlemen are always able to control themselves.
