There are certain things you can do to beat someone with wits, either to win an argument or try to convince your parents to get you a new phone. While there's no surefire way to beat everyone (everyone is different), making sure your arguments are true, knowing how to act and what to say can make a huge difference!
Step
Method 1 of 3: Beating Someone in an Argument
Step 1. Prepare in advance
If your grandpa likes to criticize you with the phrase "kids now," make sure you attend family gatherings armed with facts about the good things your generation did, the difficulties your generation had compared to grandparents' generation, and so on.
- You can't always count on full preparation ahead of time, but there are things you can do to increase your chances of winning out of a sudden debate.
- If a particular subject is important to you, make sure you know as much as you can about it. That way, you'll have supporting facts when disagreements arise, even if you don't prepare specific arguments beforehand.
- Make sure you understand how to craft a compelling argument (see the section on explaining). Of course, you want to avoid erroneous arguments.
Step 2. Get to know your audience
Arguments will differ depending on the person participating in the debate and the person listening to it. The fewer people you have to deal with, the easier it will be for you, because you don't have to put in the effort and add lots of different kinds of arguments.
For example: going back to your grandpa, you certainly don't want to get into a loud and angry argument with your grandpa in front of all the relatives. This will make it less likely that Grandpa is willing to back down even if the argument is ridiculous. On the other hand, you may need to talk to them in a more private place without all the relatives watching
Step 3. Stay calm
People who lose their temper or are overcome by emotions are the ones who lose the debate. It doesn't matter if you have good facts, because at that point you lose control and are more likely to make mistakes.
- Take deep breaths when you feel your emotions or anger rising.
- This is also why it's important to listen carefully when someone else is talking. If you can focus on what they're saying and pause to consider rebuttals, you'll be able to respond with a spontaneous emotional reaction.
Step 4. Ask questions
This was a favorite tactic of philosophers like Socrates. Questions play a role in many subtle ways during an argument: they allow you to stay in control of the debate (because you are directing the course of the debate and placing stress on the other person's argument), and exposing any discrepancies or weaknesses in the opponent's argument.
Ask for evidence or sources that support the claims they make. For example: if you have an argument with someone about the disaster in Gaza, and they make a lot of wild claims, ask them to back up those claims with evidence and sources
Step 5. Imitate the opponent
You want to create some kind of friendship between you and your opponent. This will make them lower their guard, because they will feel more comfortable and less threatened, which will actually make them more open to listening to you.
- Try to imitate their speech patterns subtly. You're not doing this because you want to make fun of the way they talk, but because you want to connect with them on an equal level. So, for example, when talking to grandpa, it's better to use the "good boy" way of speaking rather than the "high-level" speech full of super academic words.
- You should also try to imitate their body language subtly. Make sure you are a slower, imperfect imitator. If you follow too closely, your opponent will understand. For example, if grandpa puts one leg on top of the other and leans in, wait a few seconds, then do the same.
Step 6. Don't assume you know your opponent's argument
Assuming you know what your opponent is going to argue with is a surefire way to beat without an effective rebuttal. Prepare as much material as possible for your opponent to argue with, but also be prepared for surprises.
Make sure you listen carefully to what your opponent has to say. If you missed something or were distracted by something else, ask them to repeat what they said
Step 7. Distract your opponent from their position
If you can upset your opponent's balance, it can make their argument meaningless even though it actually makes more sense than yours. Always take a convincing stance in arguments.
- Throw in a punch line: "You're getting defensive" or "That's off point" or "What are your parameters?" Phrases like this are sure to annoy people and give them the added advantage of getting them really defensive, even if they weren't before.
- You need to be careful with this move, because you don't want it to be an attack on someone else's character (which is called an ad hominem attack and should be avoided).
- Focus only on a few of their arguments, especially those you know you can beat. Assume confidently that you've won once you beat the arguments.
Method 2 of 3: Beating Others by Explaining Your Case
Step 1. Use logos in your argument
Logos is an interesting type of argument that rests on logic and common sense. It tends to have supporting facts and sources and consists of inductive and deductive reasoning.
- Inductive means that it requires a specific representation of a case or fact and then draws conclusions based on that fact. You must base this type of reasoning on some reliable and supporting evidence.
- Deductive reasoning tends to start with generalizations or conclusions and then be applied to specific cases. But you must base your generalizations on reliable evidence. Twisting the facts to support rash claims won't help.
Step 2. Take advantage of ethos
These are ethical considerations that tend to be based on character, credibility, reliability of sources or people. Ways to establish or check source credibility include:
- Double check the source with other sources to ensure that the argument is supported by a number of claims.
- Make sure the author or you yourself are using actual and factually backed claims, rather than information based on unauthorized, and so on.
- Make sure you understand your position and the position of the source. It should be bright and clear from the start.
Step 3. Have at least some emotional considerations
This is called pathos and tends to take into account the needs, values, and sensibility of the audience or adversary. In an argument there is a place for emotion as long as you don't make it the basis of the argument.
- Using an emotional approach is very useful for persuasive arguments. For example: if you are arguing about the situation in Gaza, you can describe the catastrophic death of the Palestinians with an emotional description of someone's story.
- Don't rely on an emotional approach and use it only when it really supports your claim. You don't want to use an emotional approach to distract the debate or argument from the actual issue.
Step 4. Select only a few strong points
When you have too many points it will be difficult to keep track of all of them. You need a few points that you feel are very strong and have supporting resources.
Step 5. Avoid ad hominem attacks in debates
Ad hominem attacks occur when you attack someone based on their appearance or character, and not opinion. While this tactic can anger your opponent to the point of forgetting the point of the argument, this tactic will also make you look ugly.
- This type of attack tends to discourage your opponent from listening to your side of the argument.
- If your opponent attacks you this way, draw their attention to what you're doing and let them know that your appearance or character has nothing to do with the argument. If they had to use this type of attack, their argument would not be that great.
Step 6. Avoid making hasty generalizations
This occurs when you draw biased, scanty, or incorrect information to conclusions. This is what happens when you rush to conclusions, or enter into an argument without gathering all the facts and considering all sides beforehand.
If someone does this to you, investigate them. Ask them to say the source, where they got the information and so on
Method 3 of 3: Defeating Authority Figures
Step 1. Choose the right time
Unfortunately, there's no way to beat an authority figure every time. However, there are times when they will be more vulnerable to situations.
- If you're trying to persuade your parents to get something when they get home from a tough day at work, you won't find it easy to get them to agree. In fact, your request may even prevent them from giving you what you ask for.
- Likewise, asking the teacher to extend time in front of your classmates for a project you didn't complete will make them less likely to give it to you than discussing it in private.
Step 2. Make them soften
Very few people are not prone to flattery or appreciation. But it's important to remember that you don't only do this when you want something, otherwise they'll be able to see through your wits.
- Thank them. For example: if you're trying to convince your mom to buy you a new cell phone, say something like, "Mom, I really appreciate how hard you work."
- Compliment them in a subtle way, or relate directly to what you're working on. Say something like, “Mom, you are my favorite teacher, because you are always willing to do more and help me.”
Step 3. Give them a reason why something is useful to them
People will be much more willing to help you do something or give something if it also benefits them. Authority figures are likely to fall in that way as well as anyone.
For example: if you're trying to get a new cell phone, you might say something like, "Mom, I really wanted to make sure you could call me whenever you wanted."
Step 4. Find a middle ground
When you show that you're mature enough to make a middle ground, you're more likely to get something out of them. This is best set up ahead of time so you know exactly what to offer in exchange.
For example, you could tell your mom that you've saved half the cost of buying a new cell phone, and wonder if you and your mom can buy the phone together
Step 5. Tell obvious lies to hide lies that are not obvious
This is a little different from the steps above, but if you have to be forced to lie about something, then a fantastic way to cover up the mistake is to tell a very obvious lie along with a subtle lie. People will focus on the obvious lies and the obscure ones will likely go unnoticed.
- Make yourself seem like a very bad liar. Tell a very clear lie with all the signs of a liar (avoiding the other person's eyes, giggling nervously, being very nervous, etc.).
- It would be better if the lie you are hiding is also half true. It is better to lie because of negligence or on the basis of the truth.
