Most people want a healthy body and a peaceful heart, a fulfilling job, the ability to accept oneself, respect from others, and supportive relationships. If your life feels too busy, monotonous, or incomplete, it may be time to try to take control of your life again. Everything of value in life takes time, effort, and focus; in general, the process will not make you comfortable. Be the person you want to be, live the life you want to be. The method? You need to learn to change your way of thinking, your lifestyle, and increase your productivity.
Method 1 of 3: Changing Your Thinking Style
Step 1. Determine what "control" means
What does "controlling life" mean to you? Is your ability to influence your life, manage the present, keep negative behaviors from getting too overwhelming, or do you just want to be a more patient and persistent person in doing things? To regain control of your life, you need to complete several challenges: change your own perception, build self-confidence, and do something about it. Decide what area you want to control and focus your attention on that area.
Step 2. Make peace with yourself
The first step to success is to recognize and make peace with yourself, complete with all its strengths and weaknesses. Don't just accept your strengths, accept your weaknesses too! Do your best to change the things you don't like or want.
- Introspect. Then forgive yourself. Self-reflection is healthy and positive; on the other hand, self-criticism and guilt are unproductive and useless. If you find yourself criticizing yourself, remind yourself that there are healthier ways to identify yourself. Remember: you did the best you could. Repeat this over and over.
- Think about your three skills or hobbies. Write down these three things and put the list somewhere you pass frequently, such as in the bathroom or on the refrigerator door.
Step 3. Consider your values
You need to define the things that are important and meaningful to you so that your priorities are clear. Think of anything, or anyone, that is meaningful, valuable, and important to you. Be it freedom, happiness, equality, money, family, and so on. List these values (at least 10); preferably in order of most important to least important.
- Think about what you are doing right now to work on these values and the impact those values have on your life. You can also imagine how someone you respect would view your values, and whether you would substitute those values for them.
- Decide what you will do to increase your self-confidence and happiness in your life. Think about what kind of person you want to be, with what character, way of thinking, pattern of behavior, and life.
Step 4. Develop good qualities
When you develop good and beneficial qualities for yourself, your life will be more in control. This is because they will make it easier for you to reach your goals and adopt the other traits you desire. In this case, the good qualities you can develop are courage, self-restraint, wisdom, and discipline.
- If you are a brave person, you will remain strong and patient in facing various obstacles in order to achieve the goals you have set. Examples: business risks, good grades in school, or stunts for others you do when everyone else is just watching. Courage is the opposite of fear. Courage can be developed by taking a risk, knowing your fears, exposing yourself to them, and doing things that others would consider brave, on a regular basis.
- Self-restraint (being patient) is important so that you can take the right perspective, be calm, and be able to control yourself. For example, if you are able to refrain from showing arrogance (by being humble), you can prevent other people's negative perspectives on you.
- With wisdom, you will be able to accumulate knowledge and experience that you can use for other nobler purposes, such as helping humanity or living well. Wisdom can be earned by trying new experiences, trying things and failing, and learning for life.
- In controlling life, of course you need discipline. With discipline, you will be able to carry out all the things you have intended. This skill will develop over time and with practice, practicing small tasks as part of larger goals. Think of your goals as if you had already achieved them. Practice self-control every day: make small changes every day and try to make those small changes consistently (for example, opening a door with your left hand). If you succeed in doing the small things, even the big goals will be easy to achieve.
Step 5. Determine your motivation
Many people have a passion for life: something that these people enjoy doing and that motivates them to become successful people. Think about what you would do with your life if there were no obstructions at all. If you don't know, write down an activity you enjoy. Consider what activities inspire you and your talents and interests.
Step 6. Create a goal
Find out what you really want to achieve/do this year. It could be that you want a home, a decent job, or a healthy relationship. Write down each goal, then think of ways to achieve it. Write these ideas down in positive action statements, such as "I'm going to save." Then, reread the goals and ideas you've written down, and choose three goals and three action statements (for each goal) that you'd like to take.
- Avoid statements like these: "I don't want to be shy and stay single." Statements like these don't state clear directions and goals that you can take to achieve your goals. Say: "I'm going to be a more open person this year by saying "yes" to every invitation I receive."
- Consider your options. Do not define yourself based on the problems you are facing, but on what you can do. If you're struggling to pay off a home loan, work hard to get a raise. You can also look for additional work or find a new job. You don't have to constantly think that you don't have enough money.
- You can create different live categories for each of these goals. Use categories like "career," "health," "relationships," and so on. Then, you can also group your goals by timeframe: short-term (daily, weekly) and long-term (monthly, yearly). For example: eat six servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Exercise four times a week. Lose 10 kilos this year.
- Don't be afraid to change your goals and ideas over time. Importantly, you must be able to take back control of your life and the direction of your life.
Step 7. Take control of your feelings
Certain feelings can be pleasant experiences. However, if you express these statements poorly, you will not achieve your goals and you will risk damaging relationships with other people. Learn how to understand, process, and respond to your feelings in a healthy and good way.
- Use deep breathing and relaxation techniques to help you calm down before you say or do something.
- Inhale for five seconds, hold for five seconds, then release for five seconds. Do this until your physical response, such as a racing heart, subsides.
- Look for a healthy emotional release, such as "talking" with someone, keeping a diary, or an active activity such as self-defense.
Step 8. Let go of negative feelings or memories
Sometimes negative feelings or memories are hard to let go of. You too may feel that those feelings or memories define who you are; or you may be so used to the feeling that you don't know how to forget it anymore. Know that you are not your problem and your problems do not define your self-worth or the choices you make. If you manage to let go of negative feelings or memories, you will become a more solution-focused person, able to broaden your horizons, and have better control over your life.
- Learn mindfulness techniques. One way to detach yourself from the past is to shift your attention to the present. Mindfulness techniques help you focus actively on the moment you are experiencing right now (what you feel in your body, the feeling of the sun on your face, and so on.) Pay attention to what you are experiencing, without judging your feelings. the. This technique does take practice, but the benefits are great if it works.
- Make improvements. If you have made a mistake in the past, make corrections that might help you forget the mistake. If, for example, you feel bad about making fun of your sibling, talk to them (by letter or in person). Apologize for your bad behavior. Give him a chance to express his feelings. Your relationship, which has been damaged, may not be good again, but at least you can let go of the problem and move on to other things.
Method 2 of 3: Making Lifestyle Changes
Step 1. Be independent
If you depend on other people for your emotional health or lifestyle, or you need their control, then the fact is that you are not in control of your life. Solve your own problems; take some time for yourself to think and reflect. Ask others for help only when you really need to ask for help. Learn from people who help you so you can do it yourself.
- Pay for your own life. If you live on other people's money, find a job so you can support your own life. Then move on and live alone.
- Ask yourself: "What do I want to do today?" Then, make your own decision. Think about your passions and passions. Don't ask other people to determine what you need to do or what you like.
Step 2. Tidy up your environment
You need a tidy environment if you want to regain control of your life. If your mind and home are a mess, it will be difficult for you to think and solve problems. Organize things in your home and workplace as neatly as possible so that you are not bothered by a mess. Put things back in their original place. Make a list. Use a calendar. Make a decision as soon as possible and avoid procrastination.
- Read newspapers, e-mails, and incoming mail, then do something immediately: throw the newspaper away, pay the bill, or answer the letter.
- Make a daily schedule for the week. Decide when you need to go shopping, hang out with family, keep appointments with people, do errands, and so on.
- Throw away items you haven't used for more than six months. Don't keep something just because you think you can use it in the future.
- Solve one by one. Tidy up your closet first. Then tidy up other things.
Step 3. Take the time to tidy up your appearance
This way, you can feel better and more in control. Cut, paint or create a new style for your hair. Buy or borrow new clothes. Smile more often. However, you still have to know how much money you are spending to keep your financial condition under control.
Step 4. Take care of yourself
Watch what and how much you eat. Exercise every day, even if a little. To strengthen discipline, eat small portions of energy-rich foods every three hours. Energy-rich foods are protein (meat and green vegetables) and complex carbohydrates (whole grains, fruit, and vegetables). Avoid sugary, fatty, over-processed, or salty foods -- such foods can make your feelings worse and make you unable to properly control your life.
Step 5. Get enough sleep
If you are tired, you will not have the strength to control yourself properly. To take control of your life, you need to be aware and clearly know what is going on and what your decisions are about what is going on. Get as much sleep as you need to feel refreshed (usually about eight hours). Before going to bed, rest your body for 30 minutes. Create a bedtime ritual (such as drinking hot tea, brushing your teeth, then climbing into bed); Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day.
Step 6. Develop positive relationships with others
Surround yourself with people who share your values and goals. Try to get to know people you admire. Spend time with these people so their good behavior rubs off on you. Meet new people at places or events that relate to your values and goals. Talk to people close to you. Ask them to help you achieve your goal of controlling your life.
Convey your needs and wants to others and let the other person convey their needs and wants. Make sure you understand the person's needs and wants, and on the other hand, make sure that they also understand yours. Listen carefully to him and come up with a solution that will work out the problem for both parties. Always express appreciation for the other person's point of view
Step 7. Reduce your commitment
If you feel like you're always burdened with endless tasks every day, or you feel that you need to rush through those tasks or need to be in different places at once, you may need to revisit your priorities. in your life. Review the things that take up your time each day, then reduce those commitments to just a few that are most important.
- Maybe you will fight this. Honestly, though, your only options are: continue to be in a situation of endless chore, sleep deprivation or not getting along with your family, work poorly, or give up commitments.
- It does not matter; admit that the commitments you're taking on are too many and you can't get them all done well if you don't have a few let go. The things you feared when you let go of the commitment usually won't happen.
- Reduce distractions. Avoid or get rid of things that make it difficult to complete a task or job. For example, if you want to be healthier, get rid of sugary and nutrient-dense foods to make it easier for you to avoid such foods. While working, turn off your cell phone and email to stay focused on the work you're doing.
Step 8. Have fun
Life is not just about work and no play. Make time for your hobbies, vacations, and spending time with the people you care about. Once in a while it's okay if you want to be selfish: buy some ice cream or new shoes. Now you are in control of your life. Get the best in life.
Additional advice: get up early each day so you can be alone for 5-15 minutes. Exercise, go for a walk, or meditate. Your life will change
Method 3 of 3: Becoming a Productive Person
Step 1. Get started right away
After you've spent a few minutes alone, you need to get on with the most important tasks. Get it done right away so you don't get stressed. You have more energy in the morning and it will be easier for you to focus and get good results. In addition, you can also do more tasks if you finish quickly.
Try to get the most important task or work done within the first hour or two of the morning
Step 2. Focus your attention on one thing at a time
Decide which tasks are most important for you to do and focus your attention on them until they are completely done. If you multitask at the same time (multitasking), your productivity will decrease and your time on the first task will increase by at least 25%. This is because your attention needs to shift from one thing to another. Don't think about and try to do all the tasks for one day at a time. Take control of your mind and get it done one thing at a time.
Step 3. Stop wasting time
We live in a world that can annoy us very easily. However, realize that you are also the one making the choices about whether you will stay focused on one task or be distracted by other things like games, TV, Facebook, or online chats. Instead of watching TV right after you get home from work, do something productive or on your to-do list. Exercise, take up a hobby, or enjoy quality time with the people you care about.
Step 4. Get enough rest
Our brains are designed to focus on one thing for 90 minutes. After 90 minutes, our minds will start to tire and the performance will decline. Focus on one thing without distraction for 90 minutes, then rest for a few minutes. In this way, your mind will be rested, your body will be re-energized, and your feelings will be calm again.
Step 5. Develop good habits
Our ability to discipline is limited and we must not depend solely on the ability of discipline to control ourselves. Develop a ritual that you repeat in certain situations so that it is easier for you to think so at other times. For example: say to yourself, "I'm calm," over and over, at home, rubbing a necklace. Another time, if you're bothered, put your hand in your pocket and rub it around the necklace to calm yourself down.
Step 6. Get into action
You may set goals, but if you don't act to achieve them, they are of course useless. Do what you have to do to achieve your goals. Take small steps, but make sure that you do something every day that helps you reach that goal. Anything, from boring tasks that you really need to do, positive thoughts that you need to repeat, bureaucratic affairs, and so on.
- Of course, don't let yourself feel so overwhelmed with the future that you can't enjoy the present. Enjoy your journey into the future, and be grateful for all that you have now.
- Do your best. Be it projects, exams or free time. When you achieve an achievement with effort, you will feel more self-worth and more motivated to do other things.
- If today you fail, there is still tomorrow. You can always go back and try to take control of your life.
- Your feelings will also be helped if you help others. If you have time, do volunteer work somewhere. This could be at an animal reception area, soup kitchen, or a school that needs volunteer assistance.