Asking a girl to spend time with her can be challenging, especially if you see the potential for a relationship with her. Also, you may not know him well enough and your invitation may feel awkward. Regardless of what you know about him, you need to get to know him better if you want to ask him to spend some time with him. This means you have to get rid of nervousness and awkwardness by taking it easy, finding ways to spend time in groups (with other friends), and doing fun things.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Casually Invite Him
Step 1. Invite him to do the things you have planned (and will still do)
Be natural and smart in front of him by inviting him to do activities that you have planned. If you're planning a barbecue, ask him if he'd like to join you. Enjoy the atmosphere, whether he is present or not.
- Say, “Hi! I'm planning to have a cookout tomorrow. Will you come along?"
- You might say, “We're planning to visit a new restaurant in town. Maybe you'd like to join us."
Step 2. Greet him when you see him
You don't have to start a long chat or be confused about what to say when you see the girl you want to spend time with. To appear casual, simply say “Hi!” or “Hello” to let him know that you notice or notice him. Show eye contact and say "Hi!" when you pass him or are in the same room with him.
Step 3. Look for open invitations to grab his attention
Open invitations don't keep you glued to a specific time or activity, and provide an appropriate way to measure your likelihood of accepting more specific invitations. Give invitations briefly and don't think about them too much. After that, watch his reaction to see if he's interested in spending time with you. Plan group activities (with other friends) if you're still deciding if you just want to be friends with them.
- Say, "Would you like to have lunch with me sometime?"
- When you're with other friends, you can say, "We need to get back together as soon as possible."
Step 4. Have fun trying to make plans
People prefer to spend time with a cheerful person who they find exciting. After all, who wants to spend time with other people, but doesn't feel cheerful? Smile when you invite him to spend time with you and do something. Talk about positive things and talk about light topics.
Part 2 of 3: Spending Time in Groups
Step 1. Invite him to do activities with you and other friends
An easy way to get girls to spend time with you is to introduce them to the group of friends you already have. Determine if he has the same interests as you and your friends by having a quick chat and asking about his interests. If everyone seems to have the same interests, bring them along when you and your friends plan to spend some time together. You can say:
- "We're leaving tonight. Maybe you want to come along?”
- “Me and my friends are going to see a new movie. We'd like to invite you to come along."
- "Hi! We're having a cooking show tomorrow. Would you like to come?”
Step 2. Find something you both like
Plan activities that are also of interest to him so that he is more likely to join. Have small talk and watch as you interact with him to find out what he likes. If you both like basketball, invite him and at least 3-4 other friends to watch the next basketball game. Tell him the things you like before starting to ask him the things he likes.
- You can say, "I can't wait to go boating again! Did you enjoy visiting the lake?"
- Say, "My video game skills are terrible. I need to practice a lot. Oh, yes, do you enjoy playing video games?"
- Try saying, "Football does require a lot of energy. Do you enjoy watching football games?"
Step 3. Choose a comfortable and easy place for her when you invite her to spend time with her
He will prefer a place that is easy to get to. Look for places he frequents and invite him to spend time with you when you and your friends or acquaintances are nearby. Ask him what he likes to do on the weekends to find out more about the places he often goes to spend his time. You can also ask things like this:
- "In Kemang, there are lots of cool restaurants and cafes. Have you been there?"
- "Have you been to Citos recently? I heard there's a band that we can watch for free on the weekends."
- "A few days ago, I tried hiking and my body feels really sore. Have you ever been to Dago Grand Forest Park?"
Part 3 of 3: Activities Together
Step 1. Make a specific plan
After testing his interest in spending time with you by making an open invitation, you're ready to make more specific plans. Invite him to do certain activities with you at a more specific time. Don't force him to make a decision, but try to come up with a specific plan. For example, you could say:
- “Would you like to go to a concert with me next week?”
- “Would you like to have lunch together tomorrow?”
- "Want to watch the football game on Wednesday?"
Step 2. Make an impromptu plan
Spontaneous plans may seem more challenging and stressful, but because they are carried out suddenly, the possible refusal may be less painful. Of course it is understandable when a person cannot leave his job just to spend time with other people. Start a chat with the girl you want to spend time with and throw out sudden invitations like:
- “Would you like to go to the coffee shop with me?”
- “Oh, yeah, are you feeling hungry? I want to buy something to eat. Want to participate?"
- “The weather today is great! Let's go cycling!"
Step 3. Give him a choice of time and activity
If you really want to spend time with him, make the process as easy as possible for him. He may have a busy schedule so give him a choice of times, days, and activities to do. Tell him things you want to do that seem fun, and talk about choosing days to do them together. Offer a few different activities if at any time he prefers to do one option over another. You can say:
- "This new movie looks funny. Can you spare some time on Thursday or Saturday to watch it with me? I think there's another cool movie coming out."
- "The city festival is next week, but I think some food vendors will be opening their booths in the arts district this weekend."
- "My favorite band is performing next month! Oh, yeah, besides, there's a sushi restaurant opening soon."
Warning
- If he's always making excuses for not being able to spend time with you, there's a good chance he just isn't interested.
- After he declines your invitations three times, stop asking him to spend time with you.
