Writing a letter to a pen pal can be an enriching and fulfilling experience, and it gives you the opportunity to find a friend of all time. Fortunately, the internet makes it easy for us to find pen pals thanks to the abundance of pen pal websites. By being careful and looking at the picture of your future relationship with the person you meet, you can find the perfect pen pal and build a lasting friendship.
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Part 1 of 3: Finding the Right Website
Step 1. Think about what you want to send
There are many different ways to connect with pen pals, and choosing the right way will make it easier for you to sort through pen pal sites on the internet. Some people prefer to communicate electronically, while others use written letters as a creative medium of communication.
- The International Union of Mail-Artists is a website dedicated to people who enjoy sending art. IUMOA is a more specific community and has approximately 4,000 active members. This site can be a great medium for people who like to pour artistic elements into their messages.
- Swap-Bot is a website dedicated to creative correspondence. This website focuses on messaging activities that allow users to exchange postcards, stickers, coins, or various other small crafts. This activity itself is suitable for hobbyists and people who like to send written letters.
- Global Pen Friends is an example of a website designed to facilitate relationships or friendships through “classic” written letters. Users can search for potential pen pals from all over the world using a dedicated search engine to find the right friend. Instead of crafts or works of art, users communicate with each other through writing.
Step 2. Decide whether you want to communicate via electronic media or written mail
Some websites do not allow users to include a postal address because they prefer safer electronic communications. If you prefer written letters and the "feel" of holding a newly received letterhead, it's a good idea to look for a website that facilitates communication by post. Global Pen Friends allow users to communicate via electronic media or post so that they can exchange addresses after initiating contact.
Step 3. Compare the free and paid services offered
There are many websites that allow you to find pen pals for free, but require a premium membership which requires users to pay an affordable monthly or annual fee in order to communicate with their pen pals. Other sites offer free memberships, but are often filled with advertisements. InterPals can be a free pen pal website option with a sizeable user database and a more limited number of ads.
Step 4. Use Google to find the right pen pal website
Try visiting some of the sites mentioned in this article. However, you are also free to search for the desired website yourself. However, keep in mind that there are many websites that are poorly managed or no longer active so it's important that you know how to find the right one.
- Pay attention to site design. Does the site appear “stiff”, display text that is too large, and is filled with annoying ads? These things indicate that the website is not efficient. Trusted websites feature a neat layout and easy-to-use interface, with detailed explanations of how the site works.
- Check the frequently asked questions segment. This segment of the site usually answers all important questions regarding the cost of using the service, how to create a profile, as well as the possibility to communicate with other members by post/or electronic media.
- Explore the site before you create a profile. Check the search engine on the site and note how easy it is to use. Look at the number of users you can contact and see if you can find users from the countries you're interested in.
Step 5. Create a profile
Once you've activated your account, it's time to create a profile that other pen pals can see. Profile design has an important role in getting a new pen pal. Members may click on your profile while searching for members and send you messages, depending on the information provided on the profile. Complete biodata and hobbies fields in detail because with this information, other users can find out what he has in common with you. Upload at least one good profile photo to let people know that you are a real user. Write a full description, but be careful not to give out personal information that you can't just share.
Part 2 of 3: Looking for a Pen pal
Step 1. Determine the ideal friend for you
Consider the origin, age, and gender of your desired friend. It's a good idea to make more flexible preferences about where your friends come from and choose a friend who is two years older/younger than you (if you're a child), or someone five years apart if you're an adult. Having a pen pal can provide a memorable educational experience so think about what you want to learn.
Step 2. Interact with people who share the same hobbies
When browsing users' profiles, pay attention to what they like so you can find friends with similar interests. You can also choose someone with a different hobby so you can both teach each other new things.
Step 3. Find ways to learn a new country and improve language skills
Think of a place in the world that you've always wanted to know, but haven't been able to visit. A pen pal can give you a personal view of a country you can't go to or know about. Usually, people look for pen pals in faraway countries where multiple languages are spoken, and your own language is an important aspect to consider when choosing a pen pal. Make sure you both can understand each other using the same language. A pen pal is the perfect person to be with to learn and practice a new language. Therefore, find someone who can speak the language you are interested in or would like to understand better.
Step 4. Use pen pal searches as a form of community service
Usually, there are some users who are old, but still interested in making friends in their old age. Befriending them not only allows you to make friendships across generations, but also helps someone who needs friends.
Step 5. Sync search
Most pen pal sites offer a variety of search options that allow you to filter out potential pals. For example, Global Pen Friends has an advanced search engine that allows you to set several search parameters.
- On a basic level search, Global Pen Friends allows you to search for users by gender, age, country, state/province, city, profile photo availability, and registered postal address.
- In advanced search, there are more options for searching users by race, religion, hobbies, language, and communication preferences (eg by written mail or electronic media).
- It is important that you set flexible preferences in your search because you may have a hard time finding the ideal friend. Try to find friends with different interests and experiences as you can learn more by interacting with them.
Step 6. Check the site's user guide for how to contact users
Once you've found someone you're interested in, sites usually allow you to add them as a friend or send them a message. Try not to be immediately hooked or drawn into it before he responds so you don't get disappointed. Paid sites usually provide a ration of an initial message or smile that can be sent. Therefore, make sure you use a premium membership if you want to maintain a relationship with him.
Step 7. Keep your initial contact short, light, and friendly
Write a little about yourself and why you contacted him. For example, you could say, “I am a high school student in Bandung, Indonesia and would like to find friends in Pontianak who share an interest in botany.” Don't share too much information from the start so you can determine if the user in question is the right friend before you give your residential address.
Part 3 of 3: Maintaining Communication
Step 1. Make sure communication stays on
When you connect with pen pals, you will start to share more about yourself. In developing friendships, you will give and take, and reveal more and more personal information over time. Try to live and develop communication naturally, as you would when you make friends face to face in real life. Start by telling basic things like work and interests. After that, dive into more complex topics like emotions, difficulties, and self-concerns as the two of you get to know each other more deeply. However, tell more about yourself only if you feel comfortable with the other person.
Step 2. Keep yourself safe
The presence of a pen pal offers a great opportunity to make friends with people from all over the world. However, it also puts you in danger. Be careful when giving out personal information, even simple information like Skype ID, email address, MSN username, phone number, and the like. Wait before you give or ask for this kind of information. Build trust over time. Be careful when displaying your email address on your profile, as spammers can use it to send unwanted messages. Use judgment and judgment when sharing personal information with pen pals and make sure you trust them before disclosing anything more private.
Step 3. Make time for pen pals
Keeping in touch with pen pals seems easy to do, but we often forget to maintain communication. Developing a lasting friendship with a pen pal is actually tantamount to maintaining any other friendship as both require time and dedication. You should try to respond to messages from him. Otherwise, you could lose a best friend.
- Create a routine. Set aside an hour to sit down and write a meaningful letter to a pen pal, either a week or once a month.
- If he's starting to respond less frequently to letters, try sending a follow-up letter to make sure he's okay.
- Try to maintain communication through social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram to strengthen the relationship. Social media can be a great medium for keeping in regular contact with a pen pal and learning more about his life.
- Meet him in person in the future. This step may not work if you don't have enough funds to travel long distances. However, if your friendship with your pen pal is strong enough, meeting in person can be the perfect step to take your friendship to the next level.
Step 4. Be patient
Considering the time it takes to deliver a written letter, developing a valuable friendship with a pen pal takes longer than a regular friendship. Remember that you have to be prepared to stay in touch for several years in order to really get to know your pen pal. Gradually understanding the inside and outside of a person can be an experience that becomes more and more valuable over time. If you make a consistent effort to keep in touch and get to know him over time, strangers living elsewhere can be friends for life.
Tips
- Make sure you take note of your pen pal's contact details so you have backup information in case the contact information is lost!
- Respond to other people who contact you and try to reply quickly because no one likes to wait long.
- Don't expect everyone to speak the language you speak well. Learn some basic words in a foreign language.
- Usually, pen pals like to exchange languages. Offer to teach Indonesian or another language you are fluent in. He may also want to teach you his native language.
Warning
- Some people may lie about their identity on the internet, or even in the letters they send. Understand these risks before you choose a pen pal.
- If you are under 18, ask your parents for help in choosing the right pen pal.
- Be careful when you want to meet your pen pal in person. Make sure you only meet after a few years of communication (especially via phone calls or video chat) so you can get to know the real person.
