Tired of talking alone? Are you stuck at home, or too shy to go out and meet new people? No need to worry. The Internet can be a great place to get rid of shyness, meet new people from all over the world, and make friends with those who share your interests and passions. It's not hard to learn how to make friends on the internet. Just follow the steps given in this article.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Choosing People with Similar Interests
Step 1. Study the website first
When you want to join an online community, we recommend that you first study the website or “peek” (or read) the forums, comments, and message boards. Like entering the door to a social event, you also need to explore the place and see how people interact. You can read the comments made in the conversation and judge whether you can relate to these people or not.
Some online communities require you to become a member before you can read messages or comments. You can do a little research on a particular website by reading its reviews or visiting the website itself to see if you think the website fits your personality
Step 2. Look for members with similar interests
After signing up for the website, it's time to find members who you can become good friends with. The easiest way is to find people with similar interests. If you read a comment someone wrote about their passion for football or baking, and you also like the same, you can try to make friends with them.
- You can immediately contact them using the methods provided by the website (such as clicking on their username to start a chat, or clicking “new message” on their name).
- You can also copy and paste their names somewhere on the computer (or jot them down on a piece of paper) so you can message them at a time when you feel more comfortable.
Step 3. Decide to use a convincing username
You'll most likely be joining multiple websites, and that means you'll have to create multiple user accounts and need to be able to remember them all. It is very useful to create a username that can be used on all the websites you are interested in. You may have to change it up a bit for different websites, but in general a similar name will prevent confusion.
- If the website already has a username you want to choose from, adding numbers, letters, or special characters will usually allow you to keep that name. For example, mirajane may already be used, but mira_jane may still be available.
- Use a different password for each website to protect identity.
- Create a file on your computer (such as Word or Excel) and save all username/password combinations so you don't have to create new passwords as often.
Step 4. Join the ongoing conversation
In addition to private-messaging the members you think are suitable friends, you can start writing comments on an existing thread. This way other users will see your interest and may contact you first.
Make smart and straightforward comments so you get support from other users. Directly posting sharp or judgmental comments is likely to spark conflict among users and earn you a bad reputation on the website
Step 5. Introduce yourself
Some online communities have message boards for introductions. You can write a few short paragraphs that include your name, location (just city or province, no need to be specific), age, gender, and some specific interests. This information will serve as a reference for other users to decide whether to contact you. For example, someone from the same city or age group might be interested in contacting you.
You can also search for other users with similar interests based on the references they wrote on this message board
Step 6. Make groups according to interest
If you want to start a relationship with users who have a particular interest, but don't want a subject that already exists on other message boards, creating your own group or message board may be an option. You can attract other users to join this group by writing a comment about the group in a similar thread.
Step 7. Play the game
An easy way to make friends is to play video games online. Today many online games have a voice component so you can play the game and talk to other players at the same time. You can build relationships verbally instead of using text messages like in the games Minecraft, Call of Duty, and more.
- You can join a team in a video game, and this often helps create a closer bond because you have to work together to achieve a common goal.
- Know that forming your own team and recruiting people to join can create animosity in the game. So, wait until people are interested and willing to join before creating a new team.
Part 2 of 4: Maintaining Online Friends
Step 1. Use standard writing techniques
Following the applicable writing rules can help people like you because these standards are widely understood, even internationally. Using only uppercase, or a mix of uppercase and lowercase, or a unique font, can make it difficult for others to read and make you appear arrogant or needy if other users don't.
- It also gives the impression that you're trying to draw attention to yourself, and just like what happens in real life, this can also turn people off in cyberspace. This action makes you look like you can't take care of yourself.
- Avoid "text talk" such as using numbers to abbreviate words (se7, for example) because it can give the impression of being unprofessional and lazy, but also difficult to read.
Step 2. Be friendly and polite
When writing comments, don't be prejudiced or rude. Even if you want to express yourself, jumping right into a conversation with sharp arguments makes the other person want to stay away from you, especially if they don't agree. Instead, be polite and friendly, even if you don't agree, to avoid starting a conflict in the conversation and losing a friend before you even have one.
- Save hot opinions for one-on-one chats with like-minded people, or for special forums designed for debate.
- Don't attack someone personally. The online space also emphasizes this as much as the situation in real life. This fact is easy to forget in online spaces because you can't see the other person's body language.
Step 3. Ask questions
In order to get to know other people, you have to show as much interest in their lives as you do in real life. Show interest by asking relevant questions and not making other people feel awkward or embarrassed to answer them. It is possible that they will ask you questions back.
- Just like in real life, listening to what the other person is saying is the key to making friends over the internet.
- Be open about your life when they ask questions because, just like in real life, being shy will drive them away. You can't build friendships without a give and take attitude.
Step 4. Perform an email address exchange
Once you've established a solid relationship with someone and feel that the friendship is trustworthy, you can exchange email addresses. This step is especially useful if you are going to be traveling and cannot be contacted, except by email.
Step 5. Maintain open communication
Just like in real life, you have to communicate with other people to keep the friendship going. This means answering emails, writing comments, and asking questions and inquiring about other people before you expect them to do the same to you. This is called trying to make friends.
Don't delay replying to messages. If you wait days or weeks for a response, you run the risk of losing online friendships because it gives the impression that you're not interested or too busy
Step 6. Comment often
Apart from sending private messages (PM) to other users on a regular basis, you should also write comments in forums and threads to keep up to date with the latest information. Writing comments will make your name visible to them so you are not forgotten.
Mention other people's names in comments to include them, share ideas, and encourage conversation
Step 7. Consider calling
If the friendship is going well and you can be sure that the person is trustworthy, you may want to consider talking on the phone. While this method of communication is readily available in most online games, it is not so on most websites. Telephone conversations are fun because communication occurs instantly, deepening the quality of friendship.
- Consider meeting face-to-face in real life, but only if you've already spoken on the phone or via video chat to prove their identity. Don't be in a hurry to decide face to face in real life.
- Both phone chats and face-to-face meetings are a normal part of online dating sites.
Step 8. Deal with the conflict
Conflict with online friends is inevitable, just like in real life. If this happens, you must deal with it so that your reputation is not tarnished in the eyes of other users. Ask for consent to communicate via private message or video/phone chat to resolve conflicts. Don't try to handle conflicts in public forums or via slow email.
It's a good idea to take some time to cool off before trying to resolve a conflict with an online friend. Also, try discussing the situation with other people to get a different perspective
Part 3 of 4: Playing Safe on the Internet
Step 1. Trust your instincts
You can often get a sense of whether an online interaction is trustworthy or not by watching the way the person puts the words together. If he continues to urge you to provide personal information, payment information, or the specific location where you live, beware. You can also tell if someone is lying about their identity by the way they talk about their work or school environment, especially if you are familiar with these things.
- For example, if someone says he is 16 years old, but he keeps using terms used by college students, or if someone says he lives in Surabaya, but often uses terms commonly used by Jakarta children, you should be wary.
- End the chat if you feel uncomfortable. There's no rule that says you can't end a chat or delete an email without providing an explanation. This action is considered wise if you feel uncomfortable, even a little.
Step 2. Don't compromise on age
While many people lie about their age in order to gain access to certain websites or deceive others for personal gain, many people remain honest about their age. Try your best to make friends with people of the same age group so that you are not pushed into doing something that is dangerous or inappropriate for your age.
For example, if you're 16 and chatting with someone who claims to be 25, the 25-year-old might want to talk about things that are illegal for your age, like smoking and drinking. Talking about such topics may prompt you to try them out to impress your friend, but it's not wise to do so because you could end up in serious trouble
Step 3. Refrain from providing detailed information about your location
You may provide information about your school, city, province, or country in an online community to find friends who live in the same city or have visited, but never provide addresses. This rule of thumb can prevent you from accidentally giving criminals information where they can find you.
- Ask external websites, such as WhitePages.com for help, to hide your address so that other people can't search the internet and find out where you are.
- Set all information about your profile to private so that your contact details are not visible to everyone.
Step 4. Create an obscure username
Try not to use your real name, or at least don't include your surname so that other people can't track your details online. Instead, try to come up with a username based on an activity or character you like, such as fanatical or Sherlock_fan.
Similarly with profile photos, use an obscure profile or avatar. Don't use a real photo of yourself, but upload a photo of your favorite landscape or movie character. Or, you can create an avatar on the internet to set as a profile photo
Step 5. Reject the request to transfer money
If someone asks for money through an online community, you should take it as a warning that you're dealing with spammers or identity thieves. Refuse any payment requests, especially if they ask for a credit card number or bank account number.
- Do not provide information about any payment method. PayPal may be fine, but make sure there's an actual website to which they're sent, especially if they're requesting payment on behalf of a company or organization.
- Don't lend money to someone you meet via the internet for any reason because doing so could lead to a security breach.
- Be careful not to show that you can be pressured into giving money because if you are willing to give a small amount, you can be persuaded to give a larger amount and you will end up in a situation where you will be pressured again and again to give money.
Step 6. Don't share personal information
Do not give out personal information such as ID card number, date of birth, and passport number because that information is usually used to steal someone's identity. Research shows that most teens are pretty good at protecting their personal information and setting up profiles with private settings. This action should be followed by everyone.
Avoid giving a description of your appearance on the internet
Step 7. Be careful with phone and video chats
If you decide to have a phone and video chat, make sure the people you want to talk to are real people, not spammers or criminals. You can look for signs of criminals online like these:
- Their account shows a lot of activity with kids
- Ask a question about who you want to talk to
- Looking like a respected member of society
- Excessive flattery, praise, and affirmations
- Trying to turn you against people you trust like your parents or spouse
- Threatening
Step 8. Hold the meeting in a public place if you decide to meet
If you've done a thorough check of your friend online, and have had phone and video chats to make sure he or she isn't a criminal, you're probably meeting this face-to-face in real life. If you do decide to meet up, be sure to do it in a busy public place (like a mall or restaurant) and bring along someone who can protect you, such as a parent or sibling, or even an older friend.
It is helpful if the person accompanying you has the self-defense skills to identify suspicious situations or dangerous people
Part 4 of 4: Finding Community Online
Step 1. Visit a public website
Many common websites are designed for different demographics, such as academia, comics, instant messengers, virtual reality, art, and so on. Most of these websites have forums where you can leave comments. There are also websites that specifically provide discussion boards only. Some examples of these sites include:
- DeviantArt
- Penny Arcade
- LambdaMOO
- Wikihow
- Wikipedia
- Second Life
- Friends
- FriendMatch
Step 2. Find friends in online classes
You can also make friends when you take online classes. Most online classes require you to participate in a discussion board, which allows you to get to know other participants. This online forum for classes also allows you to access student email so you can communicate outside of class.
Most colleges and universities now offer a choice of online classes, in addition to classes held on campus. So, look for information on the campus website
Step 3. Use social media sites
Today, social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram are very familiar. Most of the "friends" they have on this website are people they know in real life, but it's possible to become "friends" of people they don't know. In fact, teens say they make lots of friends using these social media sites. You can also join Indonesian-only social media sites like Indoface.com.
- Take advantage of dating sites, such as match.com and eharmony. While these websites are designed to help people find partners, you can still make friends with men and women who don't end up dating.
- Use sites designed for kids and teach them to make healthy online friends. Websites like Stardoll and Gaia Online allow kids to make friends based on safe things like comic books and TV shows.
Step 4. Join the blogosphere
Create a blog and promote it through social media. After you attract a lot of readers and followers, you can comment on other people's blogs so that later they will be interested in writing comments on your blog. Blogging is a fun way to connect with fellow writers and discuss issues relevant to everyday life, while also providing space for you to express what's on your mind.
- In addition, many people make money by writing blogs.
- Websites like Blogger.com, Wordpress.com and LiveJournal are trustworthy blogging sites.
Step 5. Use a local meeting site
Most large cities have a MeetUp.com website so community members can find people with similar interests. Websites like Meetup.com tend to focus on real-world meetings with group activities so members coming with friends are usually considered safe.
Step 6. Take advantage of gaming sites
As mentioned above, joining an online gaming community is an easy way to make friends. However, to play most of the games on the site, you'll need to purchase a disc and pay an online subscription fee, as well as have the equipment needed to operate the game. There are some free games, but they are usually not as fun or interactive as paid games and players don't like them.
Usually you need a high capacity PC with fast performance or a game system like PlayStation or Xbox, equipped with a good quality controller so you can really enjoy the fun of the game and make friends
Step 7. Use a freelancer site
Why not make friends and make money at the same time? Many websites for freelancers allow you to chat with clients and fellow freelancers so you can communicate about work more quickly. These chats may move on to more personal things, and allow you to develop friendships while getting work done.
These websites include UpWork.com, WriterAccess.com, and Freelance.com
Tips
- Some MMO, fps, and simple game communities can help you make friends. Create a Steam account if you don't have one. Look for some free multiplayer games and find fun servers/groups. Remember, you have to be active and friendly!
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There are several websites specifically designed for teens, including:
- 4 Degreez
- Alloy
- Kidlink
- Treat others as you would want others to treat you.
Warning
- Don't make plans to meet someone you know online in person and alone. Try to always hold meetings in public places, and invite friends or family members to accompany you. Choose a crowded place and make sure someone knows you're there.
- It's okay to trust your online friends to some extent, but don't put yourself in a position where you are vulnerable to attack. Be careful when choosing friends.
- Keep in mind that you can always block someone urging you to do something or someone who won't stop texting, even though you asked them to.
- If the person insults or harasses you, save the conversation or copy all the words he wrote. Report this to the website manager. If you are a minor, please tell a parent or other adult what happened.
