Being a “real man” to your lover means being strong and always present in his life. To be a good lover, your job is to support him to continue to be happy and do whatever it takes to create a complementary relationship. Shower him with love and care. Resolve conflicts and arguments gently without compromising honesty. Maintain a healthy relationship with him so your boyfriend knows he can count on you to be a good partner.
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Method 1 of 3: Be a Supportive and Caring Person
Step 1. Be a good listener
Support your girlfriend by listening to her story. Do not interrupt or interrupt the conversation. Instead, make eye contact when he's talking and nod your head to show that you're listening. Give him your full attention so he knows you really care about his concerns.
- Take your eyes off the computer or phone while he is talking. This way, he'll know that you're really listening.
- Refrain from talking too much when he's talking or when you think you know the solution to his problem. Men tend to want to fix anything. Well, instead of immediately offering a solution, pay attention to him while listening to the story. Sometimes women just want to be heard.
- Show that you are listening by saying, “I understand your situation” or “If I may sum it up, you feel…”
Step 2. Show your interest in the things he is interested in
Let him know that you want to know everything he likes and doesn't like, including the activities he enjoys doing. Ask him how he is today and what he likes to let him know that you want to get to know him better and get in touch.
- For example, ask, "What are you watching, right?" or “How was your workout this morning?”
- If you already know what he likes, such as books, movies, sports, or the arts, you can always ask again. For example, ask, “How was the book you read yesterday? Interesting?" or “Football practice yesterday was fun, wasn't it?”
- There's nothing wrong with asking him to get to know your interests. For example, you like rock climbing. Try to get him involved at the beginner level and teach him. In this way, he will get to know your world as well as add to the similarities between you two.
Step 3. Ask him out regularly
Schedule regular dates. You can go alone and enjoy time together, whether it's dinner or watching a movie. Also plan dates for special days, such as anniversaries or birthdays. Show how much you care and want to celebrate a happy day with him.
- For example, you can plan a surprise party to celebrate his birthday while showing that you care and want him to feel special. Or maybe you can plan dinner at his favorite restaurant to celebrate his graduation.
- You can also take him out to celebrate simple things like successfully completing a project at work or keeping his cool after a tiring family gathering.
- Dating events don't have to be expensive. Get creative and try having fun date nights like water balloon battles and picnics in the backyard.
Step 4. Compliment and thank him
Let him know you appreciate him by showing gratitude and appreciation. Simple compliments such as "You look beautiful" or "I love your new hairstyle" can create a feeling in him that you need and want him. When he does something meaningful to you, say thank you.
- You can also compliment him further to show how much you appreciate him. For example, you might say, “ÄI am touched by all that you have done for me, thank you, yes” or “I am so happy that I found you.”
- Give specific compliments. If he prepares your favorite food as a surprise, for example, say, “I'm so glad that you know how important this food is to me. Your surprise is really worth it. You make me feel special.”
Step 5. Show her strength
Let him know what you like about him, especially if he doesn't realize it. For example, if he's always friendly and patient with people who are rude, say, "I really like seeing you always being friendly even when people don't."
Step 6. Provide support when he has to go through difficult times
If you know your lover is going through a struggle in life, whether at school, work, relationships, or family life, be a source of emotional support for him or her. You can do this by asking how they are and paying more attention to their needs. You can also let him know that you're always there whenever he needs someone to talk to.
For example, if you know he's having a hard time at school, offer to tutor him after school. Or, you can help her with her homework so she can finish it and do well in her class
Method 2 of 3: Dealing with Conflict and Arguing with It
Step 1. Avoid the urge to scream or curse
Yelling, cursing, and raising your voice when talking to him only leads to fights. Things will get worse and your boyfriend will get even more angry or upset.
- When you have the urge to yell or yell, take deep breaths to calm yourself down. Remember berating your loved one is not going to help solve the problem or make things better.
- Avoid talking about it or making criticism.
Step 2. Try to discuss the problem rationally and honestly
Use a casual tone of voice and try to deal with conflicts or arguments in a rational way. Encourage your boyfriend to share his point of view and explain why he's upset. Open your heart to hear his honesty and perspective on the problem at hand.
For example, you might say, “I'm trying to understand your thoughts. Please explain to me.” Or, “Maybe I was wrong. Can you explain to me?”
Step 3. Be frank about how you feel
You shouldn't be afraid to show your love for your partner, especially during an argument. Try not to shut down or hide your feelings. Be honest and express your feelings.
- For example, you might say, “To be honest, I was in a lot of trouble last week. That's why I don't pay much attention to you." Or it could be, "Honestly, I'm so overwhelmed with schoolwork that I can't really pay attention to you."
- Men sometimes have a hard time recognizing the emotions they feel. Explain to him if you feel something that you can't recognize or express. Also try to describe how you feel as best you can.
Step 4. Admit when you're wrong and ask for forgiveness from him
If you hurt your boyfriend or upset him, swallow your pride and apologize. You don't necessarily look less manly just because you're apologizing. Actually, daring to admit mistakes actually shows that you want to be introspective and self-aware. By doing so, your lover will know that you are ready to take responsibility for all your actions.
For example, you might say, “After talking about this, I realized that I forgot to call you. I'm sorry about that, okay?" Or you could say, “After discussing this matter, I understand why you are upset. I am sorry."
Step 5. Invite your lover to work together to solve the problem
Talk to him about how you would solve the problem at hand. Instead of asking what you should do, just come up with your own solution. Maybe the solution is an apology or mutual compromise on each other's wishes. Working together properly as a team helps you both find a solution.
- For example, you might agree to change habits as a way of solving problems. You could say, "From now on I'll always be on time for dates." or "I promise I won't forget to call you back."
- Both of you can also agree to compromise in order to solve the problem. For example, you both agree to be more honest about any problems you encounter at home or at school.
Method 3 of 3: Maintaining Healthy Relationships
Step 1. Keep your commitment to it
One of the duties of a good boyfriend is to be loyal and keep a commitment to the relationship that is being lived. Avoid flirting with other girls or ignoring them so you can hang out with your friends. Show that you really want to spend time with him and always pay attention to him anytime and anywhere.
One form of commitment to a lover is to trust him and not be overprotective or domineering. Try to give him the freedom to control his life and make decisions. Rather than watching his actions or controlling him, it's better to support and trust him
Step 2. Find your similarities and dig further together
Strengthen your relationship by doing the same activities or hobbies. Focus on the things you enjoy and enjoy together.
For example, if you both love to travel, plan a trip abroad together. If you both like to watch movies at home, plan an all-night TV show at home and enjoy your favorite shows together
Step 3. Divide the responsibilities of doing homework
In Indonesia, living at home with a lover is still relatively uncommon and is considered relatively negative. However, if you do decide to live together, make sure to share the work. Share tasks with him, such as taking out the trash or cleaning the kitchen. Try to get involved so that the portion of the work that each person does is balanced and fair.
If you and your partner have issues with your homework responsibilities, make sure you discuss them honestly and openly. Resolve the problem and find a compromise that satisfies both parties
Step 4. Surprise her by taking her on a special date or giving her a special gift
Keep your relationship fun and spontaneous by planning a surprise date or hiding a special gift that she has to find herself. By giving him a surprise, he'll know how much you adore him.
- This surprise can be as simple as a bouquet of flowers or a small gift. You can also discreetly take him out to dinner or invite him to do something he likes.
- Also accept the efforts of your lover who has given a surprise whether in the form of a date or a special gift. Pay attention when he shows kindness so that he too feels appreciated and loved. Always be grateful to him.
