Want to ask the woman of your dreams on a date but feel that you have an unattractive physical appearance? Don't worry about the problem because the truth is, there will always be women who can "see" your natural attractiveness, even if you don't feel like you're pretending to be someone else. To find that person, the first step you need to take is to open up and expand your social life!
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Part 1 of 5: Making Yourself Stand Out
Step 1. Smile at the woman you are interested in
Your smile will make you appear happier in the eyes of others, which will indirectly increase your attractiveness. After all, smiling will increase your happiness, especially because when you do it, your brain releases neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, which can make you feel better.
- Plus, your smile actually shows your appreciation for them. As a result, women will feel appreciated after receiving your smile and afterward, they will only associate positive things with you.
- In addition, other people will also be encouraged to smile when they see your smile. Indirectly, you have made them feel happier! As a result, your presence will definitely be more easily noticed by them.
Step 2. Be selfless
A man who is arrogant and only focused on himself will not look attractive in the eyes of most women, no matter how handsome he looks. Therefore, focus on being a kind and unselfish person so that more people will notice your existence. However, don't overdo it because sooner or later, your fakeness will surely be noticed by others!
- Try volunteering. Volunteering in the community will make you appear selfless. In addition, this moment can be used as an opportunity to meet a lot of new people, right?
- In addition, volunteering will also help you to feel better and confident.
Step 3. Cultivate your confidence
Confidence is one of the factors that can attract women's attention, even more than your physical appearance. However, there is a very fine line between confidence and arrogance that you must understand. In particular, self-confidence is when you realize your positive qualities, but don't constantly flaunt them at every opportunity. As a result, self-confidence is not a quality that needs to be told, but can only be demonstrated through your behavior.
- One way to build self-confidence is to write a list of your strengths, accomplishments, and positive qualities. Try to think of all the positive things you have. If you have trouble finding it, please ask the people closest to you for help, or think about compliments you've received in the past.
- Another way to build confidence is to stop talking negative things about yourself. At the very least, try to change the direction of the conversation to a more positive topic. For example, if you want to say, "I feel bad," try saying, "Today I feel unattractive, but I'm still grateful that at least I'm alive, breathing, and have the opportunity to enjoy life."
- Fake your confidence. If you're still having trouble feeling confident, at least pretend to show it. The trick is to speak with a loud enough volume and clear intonation, and always look the other person in the eye to show that you have enough confidence. Also, sit as straight as possible, especially since a slumped sitting position will accentuate your lack of confidence.
Step 4. Tell a joke
Men who are able to crack jokes will appear more confident. In addition, even the lightest jokes are able to lighten the mood of the chat. If you want, ridicule yourself to show that you are comfortable with all your strengths and weaknesses. Believe me, these characteristics are very positive and able to attract women's attention!
Step 5. Take good care of yourself
Even if you are not the most handsome man in the universe, your attractiveness will still be visible if you are willing to keep yourself clean and tidy. In fact, taking care of your appearance is one indicator of your confidence, even though your self-confidence is very low, and self-confidence is one of the factors that really attracts women's attention.
- Have a good cleaning routine. In particular, take a shower at least once or twice a day, and brush your teeth twice a day. If possible, floss between your teeth and remove dirt that builds up behind your nails regularly. Remember, a messy appearance will only make women lazy to approach you! In addition, always wear deodorant and perfume so that your body smells good.
- Take care of the beauty of your hair. There is no need to choose the trendiest haircut. However, at least take the time to tidy up your hair regularly so that its health and beauty is maintained. In addition, make sure you also comb and style your hair every day so that it always looks neat.
- Choose clothes that fit your body and look attractive on your body. Also, make sure you are comfortable with the clothes you are wearing!
Part 2 of 5: Opening Up
Step 1. Go to a club or other social venue
While a club or bar isn't a great place to have a long chat with other people, at least you can definitely meet women there. In fact, enough people go to clubs or bars to find a date! However, if you decide to dance in a crowd, make sure your moves are really eye-catching and striking. Believe me, the attention of women will be more focused on your movements, rather than on your physical attractiveness.
- Not good at dancing? Try asking a friend who is good at dancing to teach you some basic moves.
- If you don't like going to clubs or bars, choose another place where you can interact with a lot of people, like a coffee shop.
- If you wish, you can join a local community, such as by taking informal academic classes or joining a sports club. Most importantly, get out of your comfort zone to meet more people!
Step 2. Use an online dating app
Another option you have if you are reluctant to look for a partner in public is to use an online dating app. If your shyness about interacting with women in public is overwhelming, online dating apps are a great place to try, especially since you and their chats don't need to be face-to-face. In addition, you can also connect with several women at once, which of course is difficult to do in the real world.
- Don't forget to put a profile photo! However, since you are in full control, feel free to choose a profile photo that you find interesting.
- Also, most of the women you meet on online dating apps don't even have partners.
Step 3. Cultivate the relationship you currently have
In fact, you don't need to find someone new to be your girlfriend, you know. Chances are, there is already a woman in your life who can be a life partner. After all, there have been enough love stories that started from friendship, right? The only thing you need to do is find the right person to fill the position.
- Think about the friendships you are currently in. Is there a woman in your life who seems like a good partner, and who can make you feel at home for hours on end?
- Be flexible. If you feel that you are unattractive but want to find true love, try giving chances to the women who are already in your life. This means that even if you don't find them attractive, try to get to know them more deeply before eliminating the possibility of dating them.
- Expand your mindset about couples and romantic relationships. Chances are, there's a woman who's been by your side for years, but whose figure you've never even considered dating!
Step 4. Be yourself
Chances are, you've heard the phrase that everyone has a soul mate, and that's actually true. Therefore, try to express yourself through your characteristics and the way you dress, to attract the attention of women who share similar tastes. In addition, having a slightly flashy appearance will also make your presence difficult to ignore in a crowd.
For example, if you look as naive as a true geek, don't be afraid to wear clothes that highlight these characteristics in public. There are many women who are attracted to nerdy men
Step 5. Choose the right time and place
The only way to get closer to other people is to invite them to interact. However, make sure it's only done at the right time and place! For example, if you see a woman walking alone in a dark parking lot at night, going up to her and chatting with her is definitely not the right choice. In fact, in most cases, starting the interaction early in the morning or afternoon is a wise choice, unless you're at a club or bar.
- In addition, throwing temptation or seduction at a woman in a quiet place will only make her lazy to respond or even afraid of you.
- Make sure you only tease or seduce her in public places, as well as in a place that allows her to move around freely, if you wish.
Part 3 of 5: Knowing the Right Words to Say
Step 1. Gather the courage to talk to a woman
When you see someone that interests you, try to get up the courage to talk to them. Most likely, you find it too difficult to reach. In fact, the real response you will never know if you do not try! In particular, try to get him to talk as soon as possible, before the door of opportunity closes completely.
- In other words, if you see an attractive person at the coffee shop, don't be afraid to walk up to him and have a chat with him.
- If he seems reluctant to talk to you, don't take it personally! Some people, especially introverts, harbor an aversion to chatting with strangers, and that reluctance isn't necessarily due to your physical appearance.
- Don't be afraid to laugh and joke with him. If you put him in a superior position and are hard to reach, he's likely not going to feel like he can be himself in front of you, and those limitations will make it difficult for him to be attracted to you.
Step 2. Melt the atmosphere
If you want to chat with the woman of your dreams, try to lighten the mood a little to start the conversation. Don't overdo it so that he doesn't show his disapproval in the first place. After all, excessive effort can thwart the intentions of even the most handsome man! Instead, focus on allowing genuine conversation to flow naturally.
For example, one way to keep the conversation going is to ask her for help with something, no matter how simple it is. For example, if the two of you meet at a bar or cafe, try asking her to help you get some nuts or a handkerchief. Surprisingly, affection or attraction can arise when someone feels needed, lo
Step 3. Ask questions
Another way to keep the conversation going is to ask questions. In particular, ask open-ended questions that require fairly long answers, and choose questions that sound a little tempting. Basically, it's all done to get him to notice you and start talking to you.
- It's best to let him judge himself instead of conveying your opinion of him.
- For example, ask if the watch she is wearing is made by a well-known designer. If you're both watching a sports game at a cafe or restaurant, ask him if he's good at basketball instead of complimenting him on how good he is. If you look like you're trying too hard to impress him, he's likely to lose interest in you.
Step 4. Keep the conversation going
After successfully talking to the woman of your dreams, try to keep the conversation going. If there are pauses, try bringing up a new topic. For example, alluding to things around the two of you to prolong the conversation, such as by saying, "The coffee here is delicious, isn't it!" Supposedly, doing so will provoke him to talk more, even if it's just to agree with you.
Step 5. No need to force yourself to speak
If you feel like you have nothing more to say, don't force yourself to keep the conversation going and end up saying things that aren't important. Believe me, a man who knows when to be quiet will actually be seen as intelligent by most women, especially because the entire sentence that comes out of your mouth will sound much more important and meaningful.
However, if you and your ideal woman are chatting together, it never hurts to keep the conversation going as much as you can
Step 6. Try not to look desperate
In fact, if a guy looks like he's trying too hard to get the opposite sex on a date, his attractiveness level in women's eyes will drop drastically. Therefore, never whine to the woman of your dreams. If your date is turned down by him, accept the decision calmly and walk away from him. Show that you are not desperate and want to respect the boundaries.
Part 4 of 5: Asking Your Dream Woman
Step 1. Provide options
If you feel like you don't have the most handsome person in the world, you're likely not going to feel confident when you have to ask out a date in person. If that's the case, try conveying the invitation implicitly, such as by making an indirect offer to him to work with you.
For example, you could ask him what he's been up to on the weekends. After he gives his response, try saying, “Wow, that looks interesting! Next Saturday I want to go to a painting exhibition which looks like it's going to be really cool. You want to come, don't you?"
Step 2. Make the impression that the idea for the two of you to date came from him
If you don't want your date to sound too explicit, try asking for recommendations on restaurants you can go to or interesting activities you can do. After he gives his recommendation, invite him to visit a restaurant or do the activity with you. As a result, the idea of a date you both seemed to come from him, rather than from your mouth.
For example, you could say, “You are familiar with this area, aren't you? Honestly, I rarely come here, anyway. Do you think there's a good Padang restaurant around here?" After he mentions the name of a restaurant, try saying, "Wow, looks delicious. Want to accompany me to eat there?"
Step 3. Invite him to do the things you offer
If you want, you can also take a different approach, such as by mentioning a place that seems interesting to visit. Then, if he shares a common interest, try asking him to visit the place together.
You might say, "I hear there's a really good pecal shop nearby." If he says, “Oh yeah? I love eating pecals!" You might say, "Wanna try that now?"
Step 4. Be yourself
Another option you have is to be as straightforward as possible. Even if you feel the need to hide behind a tempting question, understand that most women value a man who is able to speak his mind honestly. Therefore, there is no harm in directly throwing your invitation, after all, the worst possibility is to be rejected, right?
For example, if the two of you have been chatting for a long time, try saying, "You know what, you're such a nice person to talk to, you know. Would you like us to continue chatting over dinner?"
Part 5 of 5: Choosing the Right Clothes
Step 1. Wear clothes that fit your body
The right clothes are clothes that look right on your body when worn. In other words, always wear clothes that are the right size, not loose-fitting clothes. On the other hand, make sure you don't choose clothes that are too tight and uncomfortable to wear.
- Have you ever measured your body? If not, try measuring shoulder width, chest width, waist circumference, hip circumference, thigh circumference, and leg length from the bottom opening of the trousers to the crotch. To do this, use a measuring tape that can be purchased at a sewing or craft store.
- The length of the leg from the bottom of the trousers to the crotch is also known as the “inseam”. The term "inseam" itself actually means stitching in trousers. An inseam measurement is generally necessary if you want to sew trousers that fit perfectly.
- After taking your measurements, please compare the results with the general body size chart to find out your shirt and pants size. However, it should also be understood that each brand and/or convection factory has different measurement standards.
Step 2. Choose the clothes you like
Don't wear clothes that you think women will like, but that aren't really comfortable for you to wear. Trust me, the discomfort will be clearly visible and can reduce your charisma level significantly. In addition, choose clothes that match the concept of the event. For example, it's best not to wear ripped jeans and a t-shirt on a first date, especially since your date will definitely have much higher expectations of you.
If you don't know the right clothes to wear, try asking a fashion-savvy friend to accompany you shopping. In particular, tell him to choose clothes that are fashionable, but also comfortable for you to wear
Step 3. Try hiring someone to shop for your clothes
If you're on a budget, feel free to hire someone to buy the right clothes for you. Basically, other people's opinions can help you find a whole new style of dress! If possible, try joining a special service that provides a monthly delivery of clothes to your home. Generally, the clothes that are sent are tailored to your taste and body shape. Later, you can choose to buy or return the clothes that were sent.
- On the other hand, if your budget is limited, don't hesitate to ask the store staff for the opinion of the right clothes for you to wear.
- However, understand that store employees are paid to sell products. That's why, their main focus is to sell you a product, not to accommodate your needs. After all, most store employees have other things to do, so it would be wise not to let their time go to waste.
Step 4. Sew your clothes
If you don't have the budget to buy nice and expensive clothes, try making your own with the help of a tailor. That way, you can be sure that the size will fit perfectly on your body, and if you need to change the size, you can do it in the laundry at a price that is not too expensive.
Step 5. Wear dark colored clothes
Generally, dark-colored clothes will look more striking and classy, especially since colors in the dark spectrum are able to hide product defects. On the other hand, product defects will usually appear more prominent in light-colored and low-priced clothing. In addition, stains on clothes can also be seen more clearly if the convection material used is not too thick.
