Is your body growing more visible and because of that, do you feel the need to wear a bra? If so, buying the right bra with your mother's help is the best way to go. Unfortunately, often shyness and nervousness keep you from discussing the topic with your parents, especially your mother. Do not worry! After all, your mother was also a teenage girl who went through that phase; trust me, your mother will understand your problem and support your wishes. If the situation is the exact opposite, don't get angry or aggressive! Stay calm, understand the reasons behind your mother's refusal, and make the necessary compromises.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Gathering Courage
Step 1. State your reasons
Write down at least two valid reasons that could potentially support your desire; as much as possible, give reasons that are personal. By doing so, it's more likely that your mother will find it easier to empathize and approve of your wishes. In addition, having a valid reason will also increase your confidence when talking to your mother. Remember, your mother also went through the same phase as you in her teens!
- For example, you may love exercising so much that you need a bra to keep yourself comfortable while exercising.
- If your growth becomes more obvious, try saying, “I need to wear the right underwear, Mom. Especially lately people are staring at me all the time, probably because they know I'm not wearing a bra."
- Instead, don't say "everyone is wearing a bra"; In general, these arguments will not be considered valid reasons by your parents.
Step 2. Share your feelings
It's natural and natural for you to feel embarrassed or nervous when it comes to discussing these kinds of topics with your mother. Most likely you are afraid your mother will misunderstand, refuse your request, or even scold you for asking for it. Whatever it is, don't let your fear keep you from speaking it. Instead, try to translate your feelings into words when discussing the topic with your mother.
For example, “Ugh, I'm a little embarrassed to say this. But there's something I need to ask you," or "Mom, can I ask you something a little personal, can I? I want to know how old you were when you first started wearing a bra, because I think I need to wear a bra already. I hope you understand, okay?"."
Step 3. Practice your words
Write down at least three different ways to convey your wishes. Say the sentences out loud and decide which one sounds most natural. After finding the most appropriate sentence, practice aloud in front of the mirror until your voice and message sound natural.
For example, you could say, “Mom, I want to ask you something. It's not something negative, really, but I'm a little embarrassed to ask. Whether you realize it or not, my body seems to be starting to change. So I guess I need to wear a bra to feel more comfortable and secure.”
Method 2 of 3: Asking Your Mom
Step 1. Set a time to talk to your mother
Try not to bring up the topic when your mother is busy; most likely, your mother will not be able to hear you well. Instead, tell her beforehand that you want to talk to her and ask your mom to pick a time to chat. By doing so, your mom knows that you need to talk to her about something important and will give you her full attention.
- You can say, “Mom, I have something to ask you. When will we be able to chat?"
- Generally, people are easier to talk to after eating. Therefore, try asking after the two of you have finished dinner.
Step 2. Ask while the two of you are shopping
If you don't feel comfortable asking it directly, try implicitly implanting the idea in your mother's mind. For example, take your mother shopping. When you approach a lingerie shop, invite your mother inside. Once inside, try asking, “Do you think I need to wear a bra yet? How come I think I'm the right age, huh?"
When you approach a lingerie store, you might say, “Mom, can we stop by the bra department for a bit? I guess it's time for me to put on a bra, okay?"
Step 3. Write your wish on a piece of paper or via text message
If you're afraid of receiving a negative reaction or are too embarrassed to ask it directly, there's nothing wrong with trying this strategy. Try to write down the reasons behind your desire on a piece of paper and give it to your mother when she is free. Have your mother read it, consider it, and discuss it with you afterwards.
You can also write your wish down on a piece of paper and then read it aloud to your mother when no one else is there. For example, when you are driving or taking an afternoon walk with your mother
Method 3 of 3: Dealing with Negative Responses
Step 1. Stay calm
If your mom won't let you wear a bra, don't fight or complain to her. Instead, try to keep your tone of voice friendly. Carefully, ask your mother for reasons.
For example, you could ask, "What do you think is the right time?" or "When did you use a bra at what age?"
Step 2. Offer another alternative
Only do this if your mother still won't give you permission, even though you feel very uncomfortable about not wearing a bra. Another alternative that you can offer is wearing a miniset (training bra), a special bra for exercise, or a camis which is equipped with a detachable bra. After wearing one of these alternatives for a few months, try asking your mom again for permission to wear a bra.
For example, “I've been wearing a miniset for 6 months. I think I can wear a bra now, okay?"
Step 3. Talk to another trusted adult
If your mother is still refusing to grant your wish or is reluctant to understand that wearing a bra can make you more comfortable, try talking to another trusted adult such as your aunt, your school counselor, or your teacher. In all likelihood, they can offer advice on the proper way to persuade your mother.
