If a friend of yours tries to commit suicide, you must be both worried about that friend and confused because you don't know what to say or do. The best thing you can do is offer care and support, and try to stand by your friend as he or she tries to move on through these difficult times. It is important that you are understanding, caring, and friendly towards your friend and handle this situation with care.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Offering Support
Step 1. Always there
The best thing you can do for a friend who is trying to commit suicide is to always be there to support them. You just have to hug him, provide a shoulder to cry on, and prepare your ears to listen. Such support can help your friend to move on and move on with her life. Tell your friend that you are ready to call at any time or that you are willing to be with him or her. It's okay if your friend doesn't want to talk about the suicide attempt. He may not be as expressive as before or maybe he's just feeling numb. That shouldn't stop you from spending time with him. Your friend may just need your presence.
- You don't have to bring up the suicide attempt, but you should be ready to listen to your friend if she wants to talk about it.
- If the suicide attempt was recent, offer support by asking what you can do to help him, and show him that you're glad he's still with you.
Step 2. Understand
It may be difficult for you to understand why your friend is trying to end his life. You may have mixed feelings about the attempted suicide, such as anger, shame, or guilt. However, being considerate of your friend's situation can be very helpful. Try to understand the immense suffering that is behind the suicide attempt, whether it is suffering from depression, trauma, feelings of hopelessness, a recent loss or stressful event, feeling overwhelmed, illness, addiction or feeling excluded. You need to realize that your friend is in emotional pain, regardless of the exact cause.
You may not fully understand what goes through a person's mind before they make a suicide attempt. However, if you care about your friend and the suicide attempt was not too long ago, you can do your best to understand the suffering he or she is going through
Step 3. Listen
Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your friend is to sit quietly and listen. Give him space to express what he needs. Don't interrupt or try to "solve" the problem. Don't compare your friend's problems with your own, or other people's problems, and keep in mind that what your friend is going through is unique to him or her. Give your friend your full attention by eliminating distractions. Your friend will automatically realize that you care about them because you really care.
- Sometimes, listening is just as important as saying the right thing.
- When listening, try not to judge or try to understand why he's doing it. Instead, focus on how your friend feels and what she might need from you.
- You may feel as though your friend wants to talk about the suicide attempt all the time. It was only natural since he was processing what happened. Be patient with your friend and let him talk as much as he needs.
Step 4. Offer to help
You can offer help, whether small or large, to your friend in these difficult times. Take your friend as a guide and ask him what he needs most. You might also be able to ask him what he doesn't need, so you won't do something he doesn't want or need.
- For example, if your friend is nervous about going to therapy, you can offer to accompany her to the doctor's office. Or, if your friend is feeling overwhelmed by everything, you can offer to make dinner, babysit the kids, help your friend with their homework, or simply do something that will lighten the load.
- Your help with just a small task can make a big difference. Don't think that a task is so trivial that you don't feel the need to offer help.
- Help can also be given in the form of distracting your friend. He probably felt tired talking about the attempted suicide. Take him out to dinner or a movie.
Step 5. Find support sources that can help your friend
If the suicide attempt was recent and you feel your friend is still vulnerable and is likely to make another suicide attempt, do your best to keep her safe. Find out who you can call or go to for help. You may be able to go to counseling teachers, parents, or call those who can provide special services to deal with this kind of problem if your friend says he can't keep her safe. You can call the following numbers for assistance.
- Indonesia: Hotline 500-454 (24 hours/day) provides special counseling services on psychiatric problems, organized by the Directorate of Mental Health Services, Ministry of Health, and suicide prevention emergency numbers at (021) 7256526, (021) 7257826, and (021) 7221810.
- United States: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or National Hopeline Network at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433).
- Remember that you can't do it alone. Your friend's family and other friends should contribute to helping your friend stay away from things that could exacerbate his or her suicidal ideation.
Step 6. Ask your friend how to keep them safe
If your friend visited the hospital after the suicide attempt, or consulted a therapist, chances are she has a rescue plan. Ask him if you can find out about the plan, and how you can help. If your friend doesn't have a rescue plan, you can help by searching the internet for guides or creating a rescue plan for them. Check with your friend about how to spot signs that he or she is depressed or feeling overwhelmed and how you can help. Also ask him how much security he has and ask him to tell you what to watch out for so you can intervene.
For example, your friend might say that if she doesn't get out of bed all day and won't take calls, it's a sign that she's depressed. This will be a signal for you to contact someone who can help
Step 7. Help your friend to move forward little by little
Your friend should consult a therapist or mental health professional, and should consider medication. In addition to making sure your friend has additional support to help with her recovery, you can also help her make small changes to improve her life. It's best if your friend doesn't make drastic changes, but you can suggest that she try to make small changes.
- For example, if your friend is depressed because of a failed relationship, you can help take her mind off the problem slowly by planning fun activities and helping her start dating again when the time comes.
- Or, if your friend is feeling sad because she feels that her career is stuck, you can help update her resume or persuade her to continue her education.
Step 8. Make sure you are not alone
Don't assume that you are acting selfishly by asking others (such as friends, family or mental health professionals) to support you and your friends. This can prevent you from feeling overwhelmed. If you're starting to feel overwhelmed, tell your friend that you need a break, some alone time, or some time to hang out with other friends or family and take care of yourself. Tell your friends that you want to set aside some time to recharge and that you will come back as soon as you feel refreshed. It might help to set boundaries by telling your friends what you're willing to do and what you're not.
- For example, let your friend know that you'd be happy to have dinner with them every week, but that you don't want to keep the warning signals a secret and that you're going to seek help to keep them safe.
- Your friend should not ask you to swear an oath to keep your mouth shut and not tell anyone about the incident. It is important for other trusted people to know about the suicide attempt.
Step 9. Offer hope
Try to make your friend feel that she has hope about the future. This can prevent future suicide attempts. Try to get your friends to think about and talk about hope. Ask him how expectations affect him. You can try by asking the following questions:
- Who would you contact to help you feel hopeful at this time?
- What do you associate with expectations, such as certain feelings, pictures, music, colors or objects?
- How do you strengthen and nurture your hope?
- What things do you think could threaten your hopes?
- Try to imagine a picture of hope. What do you see?
- When you feel hopeless, who do you turn to for help to revive your hope?
Step 10. Check your friends
Try to let your friend know that you're thinking of him even when you're not with him. Ask your friend if you can check on her, and how often she wants you to do it. You can also ask your friend if she prefers a certain way so you can check on her like calling, texting, or visiting her.
When you come to check on him, there's no need to ask about the suicide attempt unless you think your friend is putting herself in danger. Instead, just ask how he or she is feeling, and if she needs any help
Step 11. Watch for warning signals
Don't make the mistake of thinking that your friend won't try to commit suicide again because he or she has tried and failed. Unfortunately, about 10% of people who threaten or attempt suicide end up taking their own life. That doesn't mean you have to watch your friend's every move, it's just that you have to be extra vigilant to make sure your friend isn't showing any warning signs that indicate suicide. If you think there's a chance it will happen again, talk to someone and seek help, especially if your friend threatens or talks about hurting or killing himself, or talks or writes about death in a way he's not used to, or talks about his refusal.” be here” again. Remember the warning signs by memorizing the donkey bridge IS PATH WARM:
- I - Ideation (initial idea formation [desire to die])
- S - Substance Abuse
- P - Purposelessness
- A - Anxiety (anxiety)
- T - Trapped (feeling trapped)
- H - Hopelessness
- W - Withdrawal (withdrawal)
- A - Anger (anger)
- R - Recklessness
- M - Mood change
Part 2 of 2: Avoiding Harmful Behavior
Step 1. Don't lecture your friend about the suicide attempt
Your friend needs love and support, not lectures about what is morally right and wrong. Your friend may feel ashamed, guilty, and emotionally hurt. You will not be able to unite or maintain your friendship by lecturing your friends.
You may feel angry or guilty about your friend's suicide attempt and want to ask why he didn't ask for help. But interrogating him won't do any good for your friend or your relationship, especially if the suicide attempt wasn't long ago
Step 2. Acknowledge a suicide attempt
Don't pretend like the suicide attempt never happened or ignore it and hope that things will get back to normal. You absolutely shouldn't ignore what's happening, even if your friend doesn't say anything. Try saying something pleasant and supportive, even if it sounds inappropriate. It's better to reveal it than to hide it.
- For example, you could say that you are sorry for his sadness, and ask him if he needs anything or if you can do something. Whatever you say, reassure your friend that you care about them.
- Remember that you are in an uncomfortable situation, and no one knows exactly what to do if someone close to them makes an attempt to end their life.
Step 3. Take suicide attempts seriously
Many people think that an attempted suicide is just a way to get attention and that the perpetrator is not really serious about ending his or her life. In fact, attempted suicide is a very serious situation and indicates that there are very complex underlying factors and emotional pain experienced by the perpetrator that triggered the suicidal behavior. Don't tell your friend that you think she just wants attention. If you do, you are underestimating your friend's seriousness in making life-and-death decisions and without realizing it you are making your friend feel very bad and unimportant.
- Being as sensitive as possible is very important. If you tell your friend that you think he just wants attention, you're not really trying to understand the situation.
- It may be easier to play down your friend's problems, but this will not help your friend to move on with his life.
Step 4. Don't make your friend feel guilty
While you may honestly feel hurt or betrayed by the suicide attempt, making your friend feel guilty is insensitive. Your friend may already be haunted by guilt or shame for worrying those around her. Instead you say something like, "Aren't you thinking about your family and friends?" try to empathize with your friend.
Remember that your friend may still be feeling depressed or vulnerable, and that he or she desperately needs your support and love
Step 5. Give your friend some time
There is no easy or quick solution to dealing with a suicide attempt. You can't expect that after treatment your friend will come back fine. The thought process leading up to a suicide attempt is often complex, as is the recovery process after a suicide attempt. It's important to make sure your friend gets the help she needs, but you shouldn't minimize your friend's problems by thinking that the solution is easy.
You may be tempted by the desire to heal your friend and get rid of all his suffering so that everything returns to normal. But remember that your friend must understand and accept the suffering. The best thing you can do is support your friend and offer to help
Tips
- Invite your friends to look forward to the fun by planning activities that can make both of you feel happy, such as running or doing exercises together, or going to the beach.
- Tell your friend it's normal for her to cry or have strange emotions. But remind him not to fall into it. Inspire your friends.
- You don't have to feel like you have to do something big all the time – your presence is enough. It doesn't matter if the two of you are just sitting on a park bench or watching a movie at home.
Warning
- Any relationship you have with someone who is depressed or suicidal can break your heart or you will have to face many challenges for a long time.
- No matter how sincere you are in your approach to a person who has attempted suicide, your offer of friendship may be turned down. Don't take it to heart because it's very difficult for someone suffering from depression or suicidal to accept a helping hand from someone who wants to be their friend.
- Don't make the suicidal person feel cornered or trapped the first time you try to have a long conversation with them.
