Admit it, the temptation to get involved in other people's lives and problems often comes uninvited. If you've always been in the habit of meddling in other people's business, understand that doing so won't really help anyone and has the potential to even harm your mental health. Trust me, life will be much more enjoyable if you are willing to stop meddling in other people's business. Plus, other people will appreciate and like you more for it! Remember, not interfering with other people is different from ignoring your responsibilities or everyone around you. Instead, it means you know when it's best to get involved, and vice versa.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Knowing It's Time to Back Off
Step 1. Understand the relevance of an issue to your life
Don't interfere in an issue, unless you are really actively involved in the situation or problem. Even though the issue has the potential to affect you indirectly, it doesn't mean you have an automatic right to intervene in the matter.
- One way to exercise your sensitivity and perspective is to create a diagram to analyze your relevance to an issue. Start by drawing a circle on a piece of paper. Inside the circle, write the names of the people who were directly involved in the situation. After that, draw another circle and write down the names of the people who will receive the most influence from the problem. Keep drawing other circles to analyze each person's relevance to the issue, and find out where you stand.
- If one of your friends is going through a breakup, include the name of your friend and their partner in the main circle. After that, include your friend's surname in the second circle, and the names of his friends (including you) in the third circle. Trying to visualize each person's relevance to an issue will help you understand your position and rights in the situation. After that, you'll realize that the only thing you can do is provide support to the people directly involved.
- That doesn't mean you shouldn't get involved with social issues that don't directly affect your life (such as poverty or child health). However, try to be more sensitive and focus on the issues that do affect you directly.
Step 2. Respect other people's boundaries
Realize that everyone has personal space and privacy in his life. Don't demand that everyone share personal information or try to control how they spend their time.
- One form of respecting another person's boundaries is not to step outside the path of your relationship with that person. For example, if you are communicating with a colleague or client, keep the topic of conversation between the two of you professional. If you are faced with someone who is not your child, don't try to punish them if they make a mistake.
- In addition, respect the right of others to have their own values, beliefs, and opinions. Even if you don't agree with him, don't try to interfere with his belief system.
Step 3. Be more sensitive to other people's signals
Back off if asked directly or indirectly. If someone says "none of your business" and/or changes the subject in front of you, stop interfering. Often, a person will convey his warning or objection through his body language.
If someone seems to be avoiding your gaze, keeping jealousy away from you, or crossing their arms over their chest while talking to you, they are most likely asking you not to intervene silently
Step 4. Assess the risks that may arise
Even though you ideally don't interfere in other people's business, that doesn't mean you should stay silent when faced with a dangerous situation. Whenever you see someone engaging in activities that are illegal and/or potentially harmful to themselves or others, you have a moral responsibility to intervene, especially if no one else is around.
If you see two people arguing or even fighting in public, call the police immediately. If there is someone who wants to drive even though he is drunk, immediately take the key because the act of driving while drunk has the potential to hurt the driver and other people around him
Method 2 of 3: Keeping Behavior
Step 1. Don't come uninvited
If you're not invited to a specific meeting, meeting, or event, don't suddenly come and intervene at the event.
Being ignored or not being invited can be painful. However, understand that it means, there are things you don't need to know and are irrelevant to you
Step 2. Don't give advice without being asked
Admit it, you are certainly often tempted to give advice or opinions regarding someone's lifestyle and life choices. Unfortunately, you'll actually look smart when you do it. Trust me, people won't appreciate advice or opinions that come uninvited.
- Whenever you want to give someone advice, remind yourself that everyone has the right to make their own choices in life. After all, their way of life won't affect yours, will it?
- Respect one's personal choices and territory. If you're visiting someone's house, don't ask them to follow your way of life! Let them live according to their own habits and norms without having to be intervened by others.
Step 3. Don't judge others
Unfortunately, one of the natural human instincts is to make judgments and judgments. Therefore, make sure you are aware of this nature and try to suppress it. Not interfering with others means to stop judging or making negative assumptions about someone or a situation that you don't really understand. Don't get used to rushing judgments or conclusions!
Step 4. Provide support without trying to intervene
Reluctance to interfere with others does not necessarily stop you from showing support and concern for them. However, don't assume that you can solve their problems! Often, these assumptions will only make the problem more complicated instead of solving it.
If your brother is getting a divorce, don't act like you're an expert marriage counselor. Instead, simply offer your support and willingness to be with him. If you want, you can also offer to look after the children to reduce the stress a little
Method 3 of 3: Avoiding Gossip
Step 1. Keep your distance or walk away without hesitation
Gossiping is a negative and often meaningless act. Also, gossiping is very much against your desire to stay out of other people's business. If people around you start gossiping, one of the best things you can do is distance yourself or keep away from them.
If you accidentally become involved in a gossipy conversation, show your reluctance to involve yourself further by leaving the conversation. For example, you can say, "Sorry, I still have work to do," and immediately leave the situation
Step 2. Change the subject of the conversation
If a conversation has the potential to be gossipy, change the subject immediately. Show that you don't want to be part of the gossip without blaming or reminding the gossiper.
The best thing that can be done is to return the focus of the conversation to a topic that is more general than private. If the conversation is taking place in the office, immediately shift the topic to professional matters rather than an employee's personal life
Step 3. Stop the gossip cycle
Don't allow yourself to get caught up in the chain of gossip and/or add spice to gossip that other people can take advantage of. In this kind of situation, silence is golden. If you accidentally become involved in gossiping, never again bring up the topic in front of other people. Make sure the gossip stops in your ears.
Step 4. Be aware of your actions
If you notice that you've been caught up in gossiping behavior, stop yourself immediately. If you accidentally do it in a conversation, admit that it was wrong and change the subject immediately.
Doing so will increase your self-awareness as well as help you avoid similar situations in the future. In addition, your willingness to stop rumors and take responsibility for negative actions can also be a positive example for others
Step 5. Try to always share positive news
Gossip is negative speculation about someone. Try to counter this by focusing the conversation on the positive things you know about the person being gossiped about.
If someone spreads rumors about the sexual life of one of your coworkers, try to focus the conversation on his career achievements or the social work he does at the local soup kitchen
Step 6. Be an example
Show that you don't want to get involved in gossiping activities that can ruin other people's lives. However, at the same time, don't show a superior attitude by blaming and/or judging the people who did it because this is also a form of intervention. Don't try to be patronizing, but show that you can be a positive example through appropriate actions and behavior.
If it's hard to stay away from gossip, start small. For example, challenge yourself to stay out of touch with gossip all day long. If the attempt is successful, try increasing the duration. Do this process until the challenge is transformed into a natural habit
Tips
- By not meddling in other people's business, you are more likely to become a happier and more pleasant person in the eyes of others.
- For some people, getting used to not meddling in other people's business is not easy. If you feel it too, first recognize that the behavior is problematic and try to find a solution to overcome it. Be patient and keep trying to get used to it.
Warning
- Not meddling in other people's business is different from ignoring all the people and situations around you. Instead, you must learn to intervene at the right time and situation.
- It is unwise to meddle in other people's affairs. However, that doesn't mean you can stay silent when you witness illegal or violent activity! Whenever you are faced with such a situation, immediately contact the police for immediate legal intervention.
- Even if some people explicitly ask you to intervene, understand that interfering in someone's problems is not a wise move. Instead, just give him your support and recommend him to see a more trusted expert.
