Every wife's condition and marriage relationship is different, so to be a great husband there is no one-size-fits-all guide. However, there are some common problems that many married couples face, and if you are experiencing them, the following guide will help you become a better husband.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Being a Good Partner
Step 1. Be honest
In a mature relationship, honesty is the best choice. Although sometimes difficult, honesty can make room in a relationship. No matter what, no one can deny your honesty. This may mean that your partner will respect you too. If something doesn't seem right for him, tell him, or he won't believe your opinion. It's just, convey this honesty like a "compliment" for him.
- Give other options and give praise for those choices. For example, if your partner asks you what you think about an outfit he or she tried on (just tried it on, haven't worn it to a party yet!) let them know that it might fit, but that the blue dress is your favorite so far because it can highlight (the body part) that you like, but should not make him feel inferior).
- Of course it's not easy to be honest and kind at the same time. So make an effort to share your honest opinion along with compliments that will make both parties feel comfortable.
Step 2. Communicate
Don't talk to him so much that he gets bored. However, be sure to bring up any issues that could change your mood to him. This way, you won't appear grumpy and upset for no apparent reason. Ignore anything else around you while talking to him. If you ask, ask because you really want to know the answer. For example, ask him what movies he likes, or about one of his favorite movies.
- If you understand a topic, share your views with him honestly and explain why he might like it too. Even if it's wrong, your partner generally appreciates your trying. Remember, the opposite of speaking is not waiting for your turn to speak again, but listening.
- Make sure to really listen, not just wait your turn to speak. Create an atmosphere where he feels like he can tell you anything. Make him feel safe.
Step 3. Do your task
Don't make him have to ask you to take on a role at home. This will make him feel chatty and create an adult/child relationship, which is definitely not a good thing. She is a partner, and not your mother. Show him that you can be counted on to solve a problem.
- Responsible. A loving husband knows anyone can be a father. However, to be a good father, one must be able to understand and bear responsibility.
- Do it yourself or help him. A great husband won't force anyone to do something he doesn't want to do either. If done consistently and without coercion, helping your partner with homework will earn him respect.
Step 4. Be emotionally mature and take responsibility for your actions
A responsible person will keep commitments, complete tasks, and be responsible for problems caused, as well as debts and promises made. This is part of the self-maturation process. A man will be ready to accept his responsibilities, while a boy will only complain or criticize.
Willing to sacrifice. Adults are able to make sacrifices for those they love and care about even if they prefer the easier way
Step 5. Don't ignore your partner
Being considered to have a lower position by a partner is an annoying thing for many people. So are women. Many people think that the only way to get their partner's attention is to ignore them. As a result, they have to be more emotional and say things louder until their partner gives in and starts paying attention even if they have to.
- People will feel anxious when they start to be ignored by someone they are important in their life. Especially when this happens without an explanation of the cause. Other people can't read your mind. Your partner may also not be able to guess that you are upset just because they are prohibited from doing something that they think is trivial but turns out to be meaningful to you.
- If you feel that your mood is triggering you to overreact, simply say "I'm a little upset right now. Can we talk about this later when I'm calmer?" (Don't forget to stick to it and really make time for it later).
Step 6. Don't look down on your partner in the slightest
Looking down on your partner is poison in a relationship. You don't have to pretend you like what they do or say, but don't act like you're taller than them. Even if it's subtle, don't grin, sigh in disgust, or roll your eyes. Body language like this, even if it doesn't seem like a big deal, shows how much you don't support, respect, and trust him, especially if it's done long term.
- Your natural treatment of him should be to show respect, even if you don't understand or approve of his actions. Looking him in the eye when he needs to say something important shows respect, while avoiding his eyes shows that you don't respect him and don't care what he has to say. This will undermine efforts to communicate properly.
- If you look down on your partner in front of the children, they will think that this is the right way to treat their mother. A son will also look down on his mother if he sees this kind of treatment from you.
Method 2 of 2: Showing Concern
Step 1. Put your partner first
He is the partner you have chosen. So treat him properly. Talk to your partner, make clear boundaries about decisions that can be taken without mutual consent and what should be discussed first. Ask her opinion when in doubt by saying "I'll talk to my wife first."
Step 2. Provide support
Be someone you can always rely on. Take time after he has been busy. Listen to the story attentively. Provide support and ask if he needs your protection both emotionally and physically. If you did something that hurt her, even if it wasn't intentional, say that you're sorry and show her that you love her. Say it sincerely! There's nothing worse than a made-up apology.
Step 3. Take care of your relationship
Your partner may not have to be "groomed," but that doesn't mean you shouldn't pay attention to him, your relationship and your family. Your spouse may be overwhelmed with taking care of the kids and work. Help him, make his favorite food or drink. Help her take care of the kids or tidy up the house (eg washing the dishes). Your partner is not as superhuman as you might want him to be.
Step 4. Be romantic
The "romantic" treatment varies from person to person. However, basically, this treatment is an act to express affection in a meaningful but unexpected way. True romantic treats require creativity and sincerity, and are often inspired by love (either present or possible). Re-awaken the happiness as you were in the beginning of the relationship. Do something different that your partner doesn't expect. The more unusual, the better!
- Treat your partner as before marriage, as when you were trying to earn his or her love and trust. The opposite of romantic treatment is wasted. No one wants to feel like they've been "caught" and then simply ignored.
- There are thousands of ways to say "I love you" and "I'm lucky to have you". Assume the world is the medium of delivery. You can write it, say it, sculpt it, show it, hide it, paint it, smell it, fold it, plant it, touch it, and express it in so many ways.
Step 5. Maintain passion in sexual relations
Give a good morning kiss like you don't want to let go. This kiss will be remembered all day long. Treat him romantically. Provide new ideas. Ask him what he likes. Put her happiness first and talk about it. Intimacy (physical and emotional closeness) is very important for women.
Step 6. Give a gift as a surprise
Everyone can buy a birthday gift, Christmas, or wedding anniversary. Listen to him when you go out for a walk, and if there's something he likes and you can afford, recall the story and surprise him when he didn't expect it for no reason. Or, buy something on your way home from work, and say you remembered it when you saw it. You don't have to buy something expensive or fancy, a book you know he likes, or a CD of his favorite band is enough to get your point across.
Step 7. Give him what he needs
Ask him what he needs to feel loved. If he needs to be complimented, try to master how to praise him. If he needs you to come home on time, come home on time. If you know you have to be home late, call him and let him know. If he needs your help teaching the kids, spend time at home instead of going out with your friends, or if he needs some quality time with you, give it to him. To marry is to serve. You give to your partner because you love them, and providing for their needs is true giving.
Tips
- Spend quality time with him. Quality time means laughing, talking, or having fun together. Make him understand that wherever you are, you feel happy with him. Treat her like she's the only woman in the world. After all, he is indeed your life partner. Try to get your family and friends to respect her as your wife regardless of the journey of your relationship.
- Praise him in public. However, counsel him in a private place. Don't criticize it! Counsel him in a positive and diplomatic way. Women are very concerned about other people's views of themselves. So don't make it seem like a "bad guy" or something you disagree with (even so) in public. The right time to talk about issues like this is alone. Not in front of a crowd that would embarrass him. In public, show everyone that you love him. Join hands if possible, give her a kiss, hug, open the door for her, etc. To him, this treatment will show everyone that you are his.
- Be aware that he may not perceive love the way you do. Quality time, gifts, physical touch, verbal affirmation, and help are different "love languages" for you and your partner. Be sure to find out his love language and speak it as often as possible.
- Tell him what you think, don't assume he already knows. When you think she's beautiful, let her know. When you think you're lucky to have him, let him know too. Just like you, he likes to feel valuable.
- If you say you will do something, don't forget to keep it. Promising things when your partner starts telling you things you should pay attention to can be easy. So, be clear and firm about what you will and will not do. Also, be clear about what you prioritize so you don't have to promise to do too much. You are not his helper, and your priorities may differ from his. Clear communication will help you avoid a demanding wife.
- Show that you love him. Actions have a bigger impact than words. Make time for your family, and treat them with respect. If she feels neglected or unappreciated, she may start looking for another man.
- Talk about your financial goals together, then research and make a plan to achieve them together. Don't let him feel that his voice (or in other words his feelings) is worthless.
- Help with homework. He'll feel that you also care about the house you share, and that you're proud to beautify your surroundings to share.
- Say thanks if you appreciate the help. It seems simple, but the effect is big.
- Take deep breaths and try to stay calm when you're upset. Although it sounds easy, it is actually difficult to do. However, by practicing it, you will mature emotionally and be respected by your partner.
Warning
- Some women need more attention than other women. Some women prefer to hang out with friends, while other women consider their husbands to be friends.
- Be honest about female colleagues. Hiding it will only make him suspect your feelings for the partner. If he finds out, you probably won't be able to convince him that you and the other person are just "friends."
- A great husband is not an obsessive or restrained partner.
