So you want to get married and are interested in the fun things that can be experienced by having a husband? Of course there's no guarantee you'll find someone, but there are a few things to increase the odds. Make sure you're willing to go out, try new things, and build self-confidence. For starters to find Mr. Right, see step 1 below.
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Part 1 of 3: Finding the Right Man
Step 1. Go out
You won't find the man you've been dreaming of sitting quietly at home watching a crappy reality show. You have to go out and start meeting people. You should enlist the help of friends and family to find you with new people. One of them could be the man for you.
- It is important to do things outside of your comfort zone. This will not only expand your network of potential partners, but will also make you more attractive. For example: if you're usually a geek, try attending a concert, or going rock climbing. You will meet all kinds of people, which will eventually expand the network of potential husbands for you.
- Make sure you tell family and friends that you're looking for a relationship and ask them to find you with a guy they think you'll like. Family and friends can be a great option for this and usually they want the best for you.
- Try a different way of dating. Create an online dating profile and see what happens (after you eliminate the stupid guys you meet on the site) and try blind dates arranged by your friends and family. Many married couples meet each other through their friends or family.
Step 2. Hone your confidence
Confidence is the part of you that can make you date more often than your subjective "attractiveness." Fortunately, unlike physical appearance, self-confidence can be learned and developed. The more you try it, the more confident you will become, and the more men will be attracted by your confidence.
- Pretend until you actually have it. The great thing about self-confidence is that you can fake it and trick your brain into actually believing that you are. Start small--put on those high heels that you like but think they look weird on your feet, or that fiery red lipstick--and try to do things that require more confidence--asking for a guy's phone number., buy a drink for a man, and so on.
- Don't compare yourself to other people, especially other women. There will always be someone prettier, more successful, has better relationships. You should focus on the good things about yourself, rather than comparing yourself to others.
Step 3. Carry yourself effectively
Dating is like marketing, or it's like finding a job. You have to learn how to present yourself well so that men are attracted to you. It's not that you have to pretend to be someone else, but that you have to show the best side of yourself.
- Make a list of good things. If you're having trouble (many people have this kind of self-confidence problem), try asking a trusted friend to help. For example: you could write that you are "a good listener," "funny," "a great climber," "open to anything," and so on. What matters is the good stuff!
- Create images. Choose three items from the list that has been created and create an image based on these three things. Again, this doesn't mean sacrificing who you really are as a complex individual, but it's a way to present yourself and how friends/family can promote you to your potential date. For example: using the good things mentioned above, you can present yourself as a "cute girl, likes the outdoors and is open to anything."
- Dress well. If you want to attend a job interview, surely you will not dress carelessly. You don't want to wear clothes that are extremely uncomfortable and you definitely want to make sure they're appropriate for the occasion (dressing up when you're going to the gym isn't a great idea).
Step 4. Be open
It's important that you don't limit your dating options by focusing only on "dating" places (like bars, parties, and so on). People meet their life partners in a variety of places, and you have to be open to that possibility.
- For example, if you're on a long train ride, you might be able to make eye contact with the guy sitting across from you who you find cute. If you're really brave, try to start a conversation.
- Therefore, it is very important to start out and do things. You may meet him at the park, the library, on the plane when you go far away, at a fundraiser.
Step 5. Get rid of the bad
If you've been out, marketing yourself effectively, you've certainly managed to capture those who are interested. Now is the time to start getting rid of those who don't suit you: the womanizer, the freak, the bad husband-to-be, and so on.
- Don't be too picky. When trying to get rid of options that don't suit you, you should also consider giving the guys a chance you usually like. Not that the creepy guy you met at the bar, but that means maybe trying to date a guy who doesn't have strong abs, or whose clothes don't match yours. You will not know what will happen.
- Some things to watch out for in a potential partner: blaming a woman for everything (she will eventually start blaming you too, run away from men who like to think "you're not like other women, especially if you like to talk rudely); obsession with your appearance (your appearance). You will "fade" as you get older and he will look for younger ones); his aversion to exclusive relationships (he may not want to have an exclusive relationship with you; you could find a better man).
Step 6. Be realistic
Remember, there is no guarantee that you will get a husband. Even if you get him, maybe he doesn't look like a movie star, treats you like a queen, and dedicates every second of his life to your needs. But that doesn't mean you won't find someone you love and have a passion for.
Part 2 of 3: Starting a Relationship
Step 1. Show interest
When you meet someone you might like, show it. It's not that you stick with him and show off your emotions, but try to show signs of your interest, such as flirting.
- Eye contact is the most basic and most important thing in flirting. You can use it without having to use the other things that seduction articles suggest. When talking to a guy, dancing with him, or staring at him from across the dance floor, always maintain eye contact. It may be a little uncomfortable at first, but soon it will feel good and a connection will develop between the two of you.
- Smile. A smile will soften the intensity of your gaze and also show that you are interested. Never try to give a fake smile because a fake smile will not shine in your eyes.
- Ask questions about him. People love to talk about themselves, so chances are he'll open up and realize you're attracted to him. Don't jump right in with a story about yourself after he's done talking. Try to ask questions regarding the story just now.
Step 2. Take care of your life
You have to make sure you have a life outside of him. Just go with your friends at night. Go and do fun things alone. Not only will this show that you're not sticking around, but you'll both have a lot to talk about when you meet.
- Don't cancel any existing plans every time he asks to see you. It's true that you don't want to reject him, or say no to him so often that he doesn't think you're attracted to him. However, you have to show that you have other things in your life besides him and while you enjoy spending time with him, he's not the only thing in your life.
- For example: if he calls and asks you to go out with him tonight, you might say, "I'd love to, but unfortunately I have an appointment to attend the opening night of my friend's art exhibition. Maybe we can meet next week?" You're showing that there's something else in your life, and you're also showing that you're attracted to it.
Step 3. Make him laugh
Laughter is a great way to arouse someone's interest. Luckily you don't have to be a stand-up comedian to do this. It's also important to remember that each person has a unique sense of humor. You should look for things you find funny before launching your joke.
- One type of joke that often works is telling a funny story, something that happened. For example: tell a story about how you got lost in the tangled mess of the metro system until your friends had to come to your rescue, or when you tried to make donuts and ended up almost burning your apartment down.
- But don't lower yourself. Don't say you're stupid or dumb or whatever. This will make you feel inferior, instead of increasing your self-confidence. You can make jokes about yourself without making fun of yourself.
Step 4. Be nice to his friends
Just like girls, the opinion of a guy's friends is very important and determines whether a guy wants to continue to see you and be in a serious relationship. Make sure his friends like you.
- Not that you have to obey and accommodate the wishes of his friends. If they say rude and demeaning things that you don't agree with, you have every right to object. In fact, you should reconsider wanting to have a relationship with him if his friends are like that.
- When spending time with your guy and his friends, ask them questions (what's their job? where did they come from? what did they major in in college? what were their dreams when they were kids?). Again, people love to talk about themselves and if their friends feel you care about their answers, they will be more interested in hanging out with you.
Part 3 of 3: Deepening Relationships
Step 1. Don't rush into a relationship
The big problem in a relationship is rushing through it. You really want to get married, and that's perfectly understandable, but you have to be sure that you want to be married to this man for life, otherwise it will become a problem later on.
- Ideally you wait three months before getting into a more serious stage. This three-month time allows you to go through the honeymoon phase so that you can see your relationship with a clearer perspective.
- For example, let's say you met a nice guy and went on a few dates with him. Instead of immediately hinting at marriage or living together, try to pull away and let the relationship work its way there. He also will not feel so bombarded by your desire to find a husband.
Step 2. Keep your hopes up
Another thing that has a tendency to ruin a relationship is getting too many expectations. If you enter into a relationship with your plans of marriage, life and death, your lover will feel very pressured. There's a chance that things won't go according to your plan (that's life).
- For example, let's say you've dated a guy a few times and you're ready to tell your friends that he's "The One" for you and you spend time fantasizing about your perfect marriage, instead of actually attending and spending time with each other. him in your relationship. You have to allow the relationship to develop on its own.
- There's nothing wrong with dreaming, or wishing he could be the man you're going to marry, but you have to make sure you stay awake in the reality of the relationship. The great guy in your head may be a bit like the guy you're actually dating and it can hurt you if he turns out to be nothing like you imagined.
Step 3. Engage in her interests
A surefire way to ensure a relationship develops beyond just a few dates is to get involved in the things he's interested in. But that doesn't mean you mold yourself into the person you think he wants you to be, or that you just give up your interests. This means trying to find out what he's interested in, asking him questions about those interests, and maybe you can give it a try.
- Example: He really likes swimming. You can ask him what kind of swimming he does, why he likes swimming, whether he likes to compete, and so on. You may be able to ask him for help to improve your swimming technique.
- But remember, if he is only interested in his own hobbies and never interested in yours, then there will be problems later. Maybe he's a bit of a narcissist and clearly isn't that interested in you while you deserve better.
Step 4. Don't waste him
An important thing to do in building a long-lasting relationship is to make sure you show that he is important to you. He will feel important to you and this will strengthen your relationship.
- Tell him how he means to you. Say things like "I really appreciated your effort in doing the dishes last night," or "Thanks for listening to me ramble on about my bad day."
- You can also do little things to show your appreciation: surprise her by asking her out and doing one of her favorite activities, writing a letter explaining why she means so much to you.
Step 5. Stimulate his interest in marriage
You should find out if he's the type of guy who wants to marry and how he feels about the possibility of marrying you. If he doesn't want to get married and marriage is very important to you, maybe it's time to move on and find someone more compatible with you.
- You can immediately ask, "What are your views on marriage?" (Don't do this early in the relationship because it will make you look too hot.)
- Maybe you can do something less obvious to ask this question. You could invite some of your friends who just got married, or someone you know from work and say, "I think the early thirties are a good time to get married, what do you think?" If he responds badly to the idea of getting married, it's not a good sign.
- You should also pay attention to how you use the words "we" or "we" when referring to the future. The more often he makes plans for the future that involve you as his partner, the more likely he is to think about marriage and commitment to you.
