A successful love relationship cannot be separated from turmoil. If you betrayed your partner's trust, you may be able to save the relationship by regaining their trust. Show that you are committed to improving the relationship, and with time and attention, you can slowly restore trust.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Admit Betrayal
Step 1. Take responsibility, and acknowledge what you did
Lying will only destroy deeper trust, and make you even more depressed. If you are not honest, you will constantly fear being found out. Be honest from the start to prevent future betrayals and delay the person trusting you again.
Being honest will also help you explain your behavior well. Your partner may think things through, and a third party may exaggerate what happened, so you have to be careful when you talk
Step 2. So that you don't try to defend yourself, try to put yourself in the other person's shoes
The he may feel disappointed and say harsh words. Even if you've admitted your guilt, the harsh words may lead you to defend yourself. Remember that he is hurt by your behavior, and needs to let him out. As you try to defend yourself, imagine how you would feel if you were betrayed, so you can understand that the harsh words were just an expression of pain, not an attack.
Whatever you do, don't let yourself be a victim of violence. If your partner starts verbal or physical abuse, or threatens you, leave the situation as soon as possible and find help
Step 3. Listen to your partner
Show that you care about the other person's thoughts and feelings by repeating and reflecting on what he said. Repeat what he said by summarizing it, then think about it by showing the emotion he expressed.
- For example, if your partner says "Why didn't you come yesterday? Yesterday was an important day for us!"
- Repeat his words by saying "Yes, even though I promised to come".
- Think about his feelings, then state with "You must be disappointed because of me".
Step 4. Accept your partner's feelings
Make sure your partner feels heard and understood. Your betrayal is proof that you are ignoring your partner. Therefore, show your concern by explaining why the betrayal might have affected your partner. For example, "My behavior hurt you, to the point that you don't trust me anymore."
Avoid saying "I know" when talking about other people's feelings. Even if you don't mean to offend when you use it, some people find it insulting
Method 2 of 3: Apologizing to Your Partner
Step 1. Explain why you betrayed
What made you betray? You were responsible for the betrayal, but understanding the reasons behind it may sympathize with your partner, and help you prevent similar situations in the future. For example, "I was afraid that our relationship would be fragile, so at first I confide in other people."
Use the pronoun "I/I" so you don't accidentally blame the other person
Step 2. Work on changing in the future
Making your partner see that you won't betray him again in the future is the key to getting his trust back. Find out what caused you to betray, and avoid it. For example, if you cheated on someone because of someone, commit to avoiding meeting that person alone. You may want to take another partner or friend to an event the person is attending, or leave the place when you are alone with him or her.
Make sure you plan to discuss and work things out with your partner
Step 3. Be honest
Explain that you are truly sorry that you betrayed him. If your partner knows that you are trying not to repeat the betrayal, they will be more likely to trust you.
Avoid making promises that are difficult or cannot be kept. Failure to keep your promise may make your apology look insincere
Method 3 of 3: Prove Yourself
Step 1. Communicate with your partner clearly
Poor communication, when one or both parties in the relationship are not honest and open, may be the reason for your betrayal. To make sure the problem is resolved, find out what's preventing you from communicating effectively, and then find ways to solve the problem. That way, your partner will know your commitment to change.
- If you or your partner don't want to discuss your feelings, agree to write a letter to discuss matters of the heart.
- If you and your partner don't communicate much, schedule weekly dates to discuss the relationship.
- If you don't know why you and your partner are unable to communicate effectively, try asking a counselor for help. A counselor may be able to help you find and resolve problems in your relationship.
Step 2. Ask him what he needs
You may have a hard time getting your partner's trust back. Therefore, ask what your partner needs to get him to trust you again, such as smoother communication, spending more time together, going to counseling, being patient, or something else. Ask your partner to guide you to get their trust back.
Step 3. Contact your partner regularly
Daily contact will show that you care about him, and dispel the idea that you are doing other things behind his back. Your partner will trust you more if they feel connected to you.
A good way to keep in touch without making you look spoiled is to post funny photos or funny interactions you have with other people
Step 4. Plan activities to spend time together, without focusing on the betrayal
After you apologize and try to change, try to ignore the betrayal episode. Focus your relationship on the future by doing fun activities together. If you spend a lot of time with your partner, they won't suspect you of anything behind the scenes.
Find a hobby that you and your partner can both enjoy to increase the time spent together. The same hobby can also strengthen the bond between you and your partner
Step 5. Be grateful that you have a partner
Show that gratitude, and how much you understand the importance of the relationship, to the person. If your partner feels valued, he or she will feel comfortable in the relationship.
- Try leaving a love note in a place where he will see it.
- If you're expressing gratitude with a gift, make sure your partner doesn't feel like they're being bribed.
- Help with homework to express gratitude for what your partner does.
Step 6. Accept that restoring trust takes time
Be patient as your partner learns to trust you again. You can't control when your partner trusts you, and speeding up the process can make your partner think you don't appreciate them.
- Instead of focusing on what you can't control, namely time, focus on what you can control, such as being consistent and trustworthy.
- Show that you have completely changed. Don't change for a while, then betray again.
