Spending time apart from your partner is not easy, especially if your partner has to go on military service for a very long time and has limited means of communication. While the absence of a partner can make your days feel very gloomy, understand that the truth is, there are lots of positive and healthy ways to make time go a little faster! For example, you can keep yourself busy with more busy activities, or spend more time with those closest to you instead of isolating yourself in the midst of overwhelming loneliness. Most importantly, try to maintain a healthy lifestyle, both for your emotional and physical condition.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Distracting Your Mind
Step 1. Do a countdown to welcome exciting events that will take place in the near future
Take your mind off the absence of a partner by imagining exciting events to come. If necessary, use a calendar or an online countdown app to record the date the event takes place. If your partner hasn't been away for too long, why not count down the return date? If your partner has to be away for a few months, try keeping track of upcoming events, such as a new movie or an exciting party.
Increase enthusiasm for exciting upcoming events by downloading the countdown app on your phone
Step 2. Start writing a diary
Try buying a notebook or special journal, and commit to filling it out regularly. Each day, write down the emotions you felt and your activities that day, both positive and negative. While positivity should be maintained, you still shouldn't ignore the occasional sadness and negativity.
Get in the habit of filling out a diary at the same time every day
Step 3. Try enrolling in an open university if your partner has to be away for a long time
Improve your academic skills by enrolling in various classes provided by the local community or even the nearest open university. Taking classes with a structured, task-laden schedule can add to your busy schedule in an instant. As a result, your mind will be distracted from the absence of a partner! If you don't want to dedicate yourself to a specific university program, try taking various online classes available on the internet.
If you prefer to study from home, you can take online lecture programs that can be accessed via the internet
Step 4. Have a healthier lifestyle when your partner leaves you
Keep yourself active by exercising at the fitness center or doing regular physical activity. Set realistic goals for yourself, such as running 5 kilometers or running a marathon. Also arrange an exercise schedule to keep yourself busy so you don't have time to feel the absence of a partner.
When you exercise, your body also releases endorphins, which are chemicals in the brain that can make you feel happy
Method 2 of 4: Maintaining Interaction with the Outside World
Step 1. Set a schedule for communicating with your partner
Before your partner leaves, try to invite him to discuss your interaction patterns when you are far apart. If your partner only travels for a week or a month, try to get them to communicate over the phone every day. If your partner has to take up military service, ask him when he has free time to talk to you on the phone. In the second case, don't be surprised if your communication schedule is inconsistent, especially since the situation at the military base is very busy and unpredictable.
If the two of you can't communicate in person, try using an app like Marco Polo to leave messages for each other
Step 2. Join forums that host people with similar interests
Try browsing the internet to find forums that match your interests. If your partner is serving in the military, try finding forums that include women with similar experiences. While nothing can replace your partner's presence, your emotions will feel more valid after interacting with people who understand your situation. However, don't turn a blind eye to vulnerabilities on the internet, and don't share your personal information with anyone you don't know.
In America, the Ringsurf site provides a place to accommodate the wives of soldiers
Step 3. Keep in touch with your closest friends and relatives
Whenever you're not in a good mood, don't hesitate to contact the people closest to you! Even though isolating yourself may seem like an easier option, try to resist the urge. Trust me, interacting with loved ones can bring back your mood when you are in a difficult situation.
No matter how sad you feel because your partner left you, always remember that there are still many people who also love and care about you
Step 4. Take your friends on a trip
Take your friends on a trip together, such as to the nearest restaurant or mall, just to accompany you to breathe fresh air. Remember, what matters is not the location, but your willingness to interact and socialize with other people.
If you already have kids, try planning activities that the whole family can enjoy, such as day trips or watching movies together. If you have very young children, try enrolling them in the nearest playgroup
Method 3 of 4: Managing Household Issues
Step 1. Make a meal plan at the beginning of the week to reduce stress levels
Although nothing beats the deliciousness of home cooking, cooking every day can also add to your burden as a single parent, you know! Therefore, if you know that you will be busier on a given day, try making plans to buy pizza or other restaurant dishes that day.
Your kids will be so excited to learn that a few days later, they'll be eating a delicious sheet of pizza
Step 2. Maintain a consistent routine at home
In other words, try your best to keep the routine before and after your partner leaves, especially so that your child doesn't have a hard time adjusting to a new situation after being abandoned by one of his parents. Whenever possible, keep your weekly routine, such as pre- and post-school activities, the same. Don't change any aspect of your child's life just because your partner isn't home.
Explain the situation to your child. If the child is still very young, there is no need to convey all the details. Instead, simply tell your child that one of his parents has to go away for a while
Step 3. Hire a babysitter in anticipation of a busier than usual schedule
If necessary, hire a babysitter or send your child to a special daycare center. If you are currently working full-time, 24-hour childcare is a difficult and unrealistic desire. Therefore, try shifting the task to a credible nanny or daycare institution so that the child's safety is maintained without compromising your career. Search the internet to find information about whether or not there is a financing subsidy provided by the government.
If you are an Indonesian citizen living near a United States military base or installation, try leaving your child in a special care facility provided by the Department of Defense
Method 4 of 4: Adopting a Healthy Lifestyle
Step 1. Don't drink too much alcohol
If you want to relax your body by consuming alcohol, feel free to do it occasionally. However, don't rely on alcohol to get through a difficult situation you're in! Therefore, limit your weekly alcohol consumption and stick to it, especially if you plan to travel on the weekends. Alcohol is actually a form of depressant which, if consumed in excess, can actually worsen your mood.
When meeting up with your friends, try recommending a meeting location that doesn't serve alcohol
Step 2. Eat as much nutritious food as possible to stay healthy
Don't let the absence of a partner ruin your physical condition! As big as the temptation to eat a pile of fast food, try to stick to your diet. Remember, unhealthy food can also make your mood worse!
Want to have a snack? Try eating avocados, berries, and apples. If you're tired of eating whole fruit, you can put sliced fruit on a piece of toast, then add a little peanut butter or cream cheese to enrich the taste
Step 3. Express your emotions whenever necessary
Don't be afraid to cry or express your frustration, whether you're alone or with those closest to you. Remember, sharing your feelings with others is a very natural, and even healthy, action to take in this situation! In other words, burying emotions deep can actually have a negative impact on your health. Trust me, your closest friends and relatives will understand your helplessness and need for a supportive person.
If the absence of a partner is really messing with your emotions, try seeing a therapist for advice
Tips
- Always anticipate changes that may occur in your daily schedule.
- If your spouse is on military duty, try to find out if the Indonesian Ministry of Defense provides a counseling program for bereaved families, such as the one provided by the United States Department of Defense in the form of Military OneSource.
