It can be difficult to rekindle a broken friendship if you haven't spoken to the best friend for a long time or if there's an argument. You may worry that the situation is getting awkward or that he is still upset and refuses to talk to you. However, by showing a genuine intention to make up after an argument or reconnecting communication that was interrupted by a breakup, you can re-establish friendships like they were before.
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Method 1 of 3: Making Up After Fighting
Step 1. Think back to the fight that happened
After an argument with your best friend, you may feel irritated, angry, or hurt. Focus on this feeling and think about what caused it. Even if a serious fight breaks out, you shouldn't judge a friendship based on just one bad incident. Think of the fight with the right perspective.
- Write down what you think. Often emotions become chaotic after an argument. Take the time to write down how you feel and the things you regret.
- Remember that fights are common in every relationship. However, if handled properly, friendships actually become stronger.
Step 2. Be prepared to apologize
Maybe the fight wasn't solely your fault, but if you want to rebuild the friendship you've built, you have to be mature and apologize. You have to find out what you did wrong and be willing to admit it, then apologize when it's time to talk to a friend.
- For example, you could say, "I'm sorry if my words hurt you. I know what I did was unacceptable. I shouldn't have talked like that with my friends, let alone my best friends. I hope you will forgive me.”
- Your friend may feel touched by your apology and apologize too. Also think about how he hurt you so you can talk about it when the time comes.
- You may need a little time before you feel ready to apologize. It does not matter! Just wait until you feel calm and can think rationally before apologizing.
Step 3. Call a friend
After thinking through the fight, it's time to contact a friend. You can reach him by phone or text message if you have his number. You can also contact him via social media or mutual friends if necessary.
- You can send a text message that says: “I know we had a fight the last time we spoke. I thought about the fight, what I did and said. I'm sorry and want to apologize. I miss. Can we meet and chat, if you have time?”
- If your best friend isn't willing to meet, consider writing an apology letter because you can't do this in person. This way, your friend will know that you're sorry and want to continue the friendship, whether they feel the same way or not.
Step 4. Schedule a time to meet
If your best friend responds positively, you can start setting a meeting time. Discuss with friends when the time is right for both of you. It would be better if you make sure your schedule is not full that day because the conversation may take a long time.
- You could say something like, “Hey, can we meet somewhere to talk? Maybe over lunch or out for a walk.”
- Meet friends in a neutral and quiet place. A park or cafe can be a good meeting location because of the relaxed and calm atmosphere. That way, you can chat in a calm mood so the conversation doesn't get too tense.
Step 5. Be sincere and honest
If your best friend knows you, and chances are, they'll know if you're sincere or not. When apologizing, do the following:
- Say what you regret and apologize for it.
- Reassure friends that you will not repeat the same mistake in the future.
- Accept your responsibility in the fight.
- Don't try to justify your behavior.
- Don't try to show that you are right.
Step 6. Listen to what he has to say
Even if you've thought about the fight and what your part in it was, you don't necessarily understand why he's angry. Take time during the conversation to listen to what is hurting him. That last incident might have brought down his defenses. Plus, you may have been rude to him in the past, but didn't realize it.
Apologize for hurting him not just for the last incident. Think critically about what he's saying so you don't just apologize to end the conversation. Make sure the "I'm sorry" you say is sincere
Step 7. Offer your friendship
After apologizing, and receiving an apology from him, tell him how much you miss his friendship and want to continue it. This can be a great way to end the conversation optimistically and convey your wishes.
- You can say, “Again, I'm sorry to hurt you, but I don't want our friendship to end. Do you want to be my friend again?”
- Don't pronounce it like an ultimatum and don't force him to make a decision right away, unless he wants to.
Step 8. Give him time
After a serious conversation, your best friend may need some time to think. It does not matter! End the conversation with a hug if he's willing, and tell him to call you whenever he feels ready.
- You might say, “I know this conversation might be too much to process in one day and you're still feeling hurt by the fight. So, don't rush. You can think about it first. Call me when you're ready to talk."
- It can take time and hard work to rebuild trust, especially after a big fight. Apologizing may not be enough, but if you give him time, he may learn to trust you again.
Method 2 of 3: Reconnecting Friendships After Being Separated For Some Time
Step 1. Try contacting him
Maybe you want to reconnect with a high school friend you've lost contact with for years or an old friend who used to work in the same office. The first thing to do to renew your friendship with him is to contact him. If you have his phone number, call him or send him a text message to start communication.
- You can start with “I hope you are doing well. It's been a long time since we've been out of touch, but I've been thinking about you a lot lately and want to know how you're doing and how busy you are right now."
- Contact him via social media. If you don't have their phone number, social media can be a great way to find and contact them.
- Contact him through mutual friends. If you have mutual friends, reach out to them and ask them to help you connect with them.
Step 2. Find out how he's been doing so far
Take the time to talk to your best friend once you've connected with them and ask how they've been doing since you last spoke to them. Ask about school, work, parents, or a relationship he is in.
Make sure you show genuine interest when you ask him about his life. This will show that you care and have good intentions to build friendships
Step 3. Let me know how you are
After getting the latest information about him, let him know what's going on in your life. Share information like where you went to college or promotions you got at work, or any small things that might interest him.
- You can say, “I just got accepted to a local university. I am so glad. I remember you wanted to sign up there too.”
- Remember, don't monopolize the conversation with information about yourself.
Step 4. Choose a location where you can chat with him
If you both live in the same city or are a reasonable distance from each other, arrange a time to meet in person. This will help strengthen your closeness rather than chatting over the phone or texting. If you live far apart, try chatting over Skype or FaceTime.
- You can invite them by saying, “Would you like to have lunch together at a nearby restaurant? Or watching movies? I want to spend time with you.”
- If the two of you decide to meet, avoid crowded and noisy places. You can meet for coffee or lunch.
Step 5. Talk about why the two of you are drifting apart
If you've been out of touch with him for a long time, it might be worth bringing up the topic of why that happened. Did any of you move or just returned? Or maybe you just drifted apart after all these years. Either way, talk about why the two of you stayed away from each other all this time.
- Try to keep the conversation light. Don't force her to talk about it or make her nervous.
- Consider starting the conversation by saying, “Nice to meet you again. I often think about why we stay away from each other. When you moved, I thought things would be different, but I don't know how much of a difference. I really miss you.”
Step 6. Promise him to be in touch more often
When you're done talking, tell him that you don't want to lose touch with him again and that you enjoyed spending time with him. Because he was once your best friend, he may be enthusiastic about reconnecting the broken friendship. Promise to call and see each other more often and actually do it.
More importantly, keeping promises and keeping in touch with them will help rebuild the friendships that once existed. If you really love him, try to stay in touch with him
Method 3 of 3: Rebuilding a Relationship
Step 1. Continue the conversation
After the initial conversation, try to have regular conversations. Call him or text him at least once a week. How often you should contact him depends on your age and previous communication habits. For example, if you're in high school, it might be normal to talk to your best friend every day. However, if you are older and already working, it may be less frequent because you have other responsibilities.
Make sure you're not the only one initiating contact. If nine out of ten conversations happen you initiate it, give him some leeway. If he contacts you first, the friendship will be stronger and reciprocal
Step 2. Relive sweet memories
Spend time with friends to reminisce about the past you spent together. There's nothing wrong with bringing a photo album or viewing photos together on social media. Sit down with friends and reminisce about the past to remind each other of those moments and the good times to come.
You might say, “Remember when we watched a very funny movie. We laugh so hard we cry? Those were fun times, weren't they?”
Step 3. Do the things you used to do together
Apart from reminiscing about the past, you can go out together and do fun things together! If you and your friends enjoy going to the beach, exercising, or watching movies, do those activities again. This is a very effective way to reminisce about the beginning of your friendship and forget the fight.
Step 4. Restore trust if necessary
Another way to strengthen once-broken ties is to further develop mutual trust. Even if you and your best friend have felt awkward since your relationship reconnected, your trust may not be fully restored. Try to communicate regularly with him to develop a sense of interdependence.
Sharing secrets can be a way to develop trust in one another. As your friendship develops, you can start sharing secrets about yourself that he didn't know before and ask him to do the same. You can even turn it into a game
Step 5. Try doing new things together
Besides doing the things you used to do together, why not try something new? Trying new things is an effective way to get both of you out of your comfort zone and even to face fears together.
- Connect by cooking a new dish together or trying a new sport.
- You can also overcome a fear you share, such as a phobia of heights, by riding a rollercoaster together or something.
- Your friendship may change in new and unexpected ways. Embrace this change. Avoid dwelling on the conditions of previous friendships.
Step 6. Enjoy this new relationship
Maybe everything will work out as it should and you'll feel like you've never spent a day without a friend. It was incredible. However, things can also feel different and that's okay too. Enjoy your new stronger and more mature friendship and celebrate the return of your best friend!
Tips
- Try to always be there if he needs someone to talk to.
- Tell him how everyone is doing and suggest that they can participate in the next meeting. For example, “Me and the other girls went swimming yesterday, do you want to come next week?” Again, keep an open mind and ask if he would like to invite his friends too.
- Be prepared to listen. Your friends will appreciate you more because you are always there for them.
- Try not to fight while you're still trying to rebuild a broken relationship.
Warning
- Don't whine!
- Don't immediately ask if you're still his best friend. This will make you seem too clingy and make things awkward.
- If he doesn't really want to be your friend, that's fine. It's a choice and you have to accept it.
