You realize your relationship is not what it used to be. You no longer feel the flutter of butterflies in the stomach and now only the discomfort is left when a partner comes. It's hard to admit that the relationship is over, but you have to end an unhappy relationship that isn't working out. You may think that right now your relationship is just going through a rough patch-and that may be true-but there are key clues that signal that the relationship should end.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Pondering How to Communicate with One Another
Step 1. Record how often you fight with your partner
Quarrel can be a healthy and productive way to communicate and resolve conflict. However, constant bickering and spending most of your time together fighting might be a sign that your relationship is nearing its end.
- Arguing over trivial matters may be a way of getting attention or attacking your partner, and it can also be a sign of the end of the relationship.
- Leaving an argument with feelings of anger, hatred, bitterness, and unwillingness to make up are signs that the relationship is about to collapse.
Step 2. Observe how often you discuss feelings
One of the most important foundations in a relationship is communicating your needs and feelings, and understanding your partner's needs and feelings. If you feel like your partner doesn't understand your feelings, and that you're not aware of your partner's feelings, the relationship is likely on the brink.
- Failure to communicate can start from small things such as not asking how your partner's day was. But this can develop into a bigger one like completely ignoring each other's feelings.
- If you notice that you are not listening to your partner or that your partner is not listening when you talk, then your communication is ineffective and the relationship is on the verge of trouble.
Step 3. Watch how the two of you talk about the future
Refusing to discuss the future together may be a way of avoiding the fact that you can't imagine living longer with your partner. It may also mean that you are unable to visualize a future with your partner, and it is a sign that now may be the time to separate.
- If you've never talked about getting married or wanting to have kids, you might actually think that he's not the right person.
- If you've been putting off answering a friend's wedding invitations, planning a vacation, or a holiday because you don't know if you'll still be with them that long, then maybe it's time to end the relationship.
Step 4. Consider the level of verbal intimacy with your partner
Loving communication is an important foundation for the development and longevity of a relationship. When verbal expressions of love stop, it may be a sign you can't think of something nice to say or you don't want to say it. Lack of communication and verbal intimacy are red lights that signal the end of a relationship.
Absence of compliments, “I love you” remarks, and random love messages and texts are signs that the relationship is in trouble
Step 5. Watch how you talk about your partner to other people
People in healthy relationships are eager to talk about their partner's positive attributes or accomplishments with others. If you talk about your partner in a negative tone when you're with friends, it's a sign that there's a problem in the relationship. Talking about your partner in a negative way indicates a loss of respect and implies a greater possibility of trouble.
There is a difference between talking about relationship problems with close friends and telling friends that you are bored or unhappy with your partner. But if you talk to close friends about relationship problems a lot, you might want to consider breaking up
Part 2 of 3: Contemplating Thoughts and Feelings on Each One
Step 1. Identify your level of excitement because of a partner
In the past, your partner was able to make your stomach churn with pleasure, but now you don't feel happy if he is there. If you're constantly bored with your partner, or even tired of the thought of seeing or meeting him or her, it's possible that your heart is no longer in the relationship.
Relationships are not always happy every minute. But you should be waiting for him to come home in the evening or when he's going out on a date
Step 2. Assess your sexual attraction to your partner
Physical attraction is important for both men and women, especially in the first seven years of a relationship. Maybe a physical attraction brought the two of you closer together. But if you feel like you've been ignoring or even feeling disgusted or disinterested in your partner, your relationship won't last long.
Step 3. Imagine your future without a partner
Draw out all your hopes and dreams for the future and see if your partner is by your side when you achieve those dreams. Imagining a future that would be easier without your partner or dreams without him is a sign that your relationship is about to fail.
Step 4. Check if you still have the same interests and goals
You may have had a lot in common when you first met, but now you no longer have the same goals, interests, or beliefs. As your relationship develops, you and your partner also develop into more mature individuals and eventually, your dreams and goals may change in different directions. Think again whether you and your partner are still on the same path and have the same goals.
- Conversation that is limited or unbearable, or an inability to agree on professional goals and personal beliefs are signs that you are no longer sharing a common goal in life.
- Having separate goals and interests is very healthy in a relationship. Trouble starts when principles and beliefs start to contradict and you can't find anything in common.
Part 3 of 3: Assessing the Relationship Situation
Step 1. Evaluate the frequency and arousal of your sex life
If you haven't had sex in a long time or aren't even passionate about sex, it's a sign of a bigger problem in the relationship.
- Try to remember when you last made love and whether you only did it out of obligation, and whether you get satisfaction and pleasure from the activity. If the last sex was a long time ago and feels like a chore, your relationship is unlikely to last.
- For women, visit your doctor to find out if your sex drive is low due to hormonal imbalance as a result of pregnancy or menopause. For men, see a doctor to see if your testosterone is low.
Step 2. Assess how loyal you and your partner are to each other
Infidelity can destroy a relationship because it shatters the trust and loyalty that have been painstakingly built. Relationships may still be salvageable after an affair, but if it has become a habit, this is a good time to end the relationship.
- The problem of infidelity is difficult to overcome, unless you establish an open relationship. If one or both parties are accustomed to being unfaithful, and it becomes more and more commonplace and not surprising, your relationship cannot continue.
- Seducing others is a form of disloyalty, depending on the intention. If you often flirt with other people for attention seeking or dreaming about being with that person, then you are having an emotional affair and need to know why.
Step 3. Explore how your partner can improve your life
Just as you must choose your friends wisely to be surrounded by positivity, relationships must lift and improve your own life. If you're feeling held back or constrained by your partner and he or she isn't improving your life, you really should consider breaking up.
Step 4. Be aware of how often your friends and family choose to spend time with you and your partner
Family and friends know you very well and want the best for you. If you find that they are reluctant to spend time with you and your partner, your relationship isn't going to last forever. Having the support of friends and family will have a positive impact on the quality of the relationship.
Friends and family usually have high expectations for your partner or may have personality clashes with them. You need to be able to distinguish a little bit of dislike from a bad impression with genuine dislike and reluctance to try to like your partner
Step 5. Consider how many parts of your life you've been through together
It's important to maintain personal freedom in relationships, but if you're hardly ever together, there's a problem. If you're always hanging out with friends without a partner, or don't know what your partner's daily routine and life is like, planning weekend events without your partner involved, or not trying to include him in your plans, your relationship is nearing the end.
Tips
If you really want to fix the relationship despite these problems, you can! You may need professional help from a counselor or relationship therapist, but if you are both willing to put in the effort, chances are you will get through this difficult time
Warning
- If you know the relationship has to end but are unable to do so because you feel sorry for your partner, or you feel that he or she can't find anyone else, you're only prolonging the pain. You can't predict other people's future and everyone is responsible for living their own life after a breakup.
- Once you realize that the relationship is over, you need to end it as soon as possible. As painful as it is, the sooner the better, and the sooner you can move on with your life.
- All of the points in this article point to dysfunction in a troubled relationship, and if both parties aren't willing to work things out together, the healthier option is to separate sooner rather than procrastinate.
