You've been waiting for it for a long time. You love him. He loves you. However, this special moment has not yet happened. How can you get him to propose to you? Follow these steps.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Making Sure He's Ready
Step 1. Make sure that he is ready to commit
Even if you've only been together for about a year, or even five, that doesn't mean he's ready to marry you. Some men want to get married eventually, but only when they are ready. The concept of readiness for a man is quite complex and is often accompanied by a feeling that he has "conquered the woman", exploring, having fun, financially stable, mature, and ready to settle down. All of these are valid reasons. You shouldn't ignore the excuse and force him to do something when he's not ready.
- See if he's committed to you more than just calling you "girlfriend." This could mean sharing a pet with you, moving to a location close to you, introducing you to his family, or even putting him in the same social circle as you.
- Find out if he has been in a relationship before. If he has had significant experience, you shouldn't feel jealous, but rather lucky that he has experience and is likely less interested in "conquering women" and looking for something else.
Step 2. Make sure that this is the right time in his life
Every relationship is different and many couples who marry after a year or two of dating have as harmonious marriages as couples who wait after five or even ten years. If the timing isn't right, then no matter how long the courtship is, it won't make a big difference.
- If he's still looking for the right career, if his friends are single, or if he still has some personal business to attend to, it's probably best not to propose to you just yet.
- If he doesn't feel stable personally, financially, or even physically, he's probably still thinking about other things.
- Remember that there is no perfect time to get married. If over the years the timing has felt "not right," there may be a bigger problem.
Step 3. Make sure that he can't imagine a future without you in it
If you want your boyfriend to propose to you, you have to be sure that he can't imagine his life without you. You may have been together more than three years, but does he want to be with you for thirty years? Whenever he talks about the future, he starts with, “We…” and if he ever mentions living with you, buying a house, or even starting a family, he's probably thinking about staying with you forever.
If he never talks about what will happen six months later, even when you're planning to attend a wedding together, or if he wants to spend time studying abroad, he's likely trying to avoid the topic
Step 4. Find out his views on marriage
Some men don't really care about this. It doesn't matter whether they are married or not. If this is the case, don't expect him to be as passionate about marriage as you are and you have to accept the fact that marriage is something he will do just because you want it to. You will need to poke it frequently to get the wedding of your dreams.
It's also possible that he doesn't want to marry anyone at all. Expecting a man who doesn't believe in marriage to propose to you is pointless
Method 2 of 4: Marking
Step 1. In passing, mention the topic of marriage
In order not to go overboard with your lover, you should start off subtle while building a path to talk about your own marriage. You should start with a conversation about marriage that is not directly related to “your” marriage. You can mention other people who just got engaged or married or comment on an engagement ring ad, for example. A good way to start is to express doubts or even minor criticisms. Here's how:
- You can say, “A friend at work just got back from their honeymoon. You know where they went? Beach. For me, it's a strange choice, because we go to the beach almost once a month because it's close. If I go on my honeymoon, I want to go to a new exotic place. Is not it?”
- You can also say, “Can you believe it, Jimmy proposed to Marta on the merry-go-round? I think it's perfect for them, but I wanted something different."
Step 2. Talk about your future together
Don't say, “I can't wait to have ten kids with you! Just make an implicit comment that implies about your future togetherness, whether married or not. If he's not responsive to indirect approaches, start slowly saying more direct sentences like, “If we're still together…,” “If we live together…,” and then, “If we get married…”
- Pay attention to his reactions as you discuss the future. See if he's following the conversation or trying to avoid it.
- Keep in mind that even though you've been thinking about this for a while, this topic of conversation is new to him and he needs time to get his thoughts straight. Don't expect him to have an answer ready.
Step 3. Plan a romantic trip
If you think your boyfriend is waiting for the right moment to act, suggest taking a vacation together. Make sure you plan ahead, at least two or three months in advance, so your boyfriend has time to think about a vacation destination as a potential place to propose. Don't mention that it could be the perfect place to apply. Let him think for himself.
- If you don't mention that it would be a good place to get engaged, he won't feel like you're putting pressure on him.
- And even if he's not proposing, seeing you in a romantic place where lots of people are proposing to their girlfriends will set his mind on the idea of proposing.
Step 4. If you don't want an expensive ring, or any ring, say so
This is an important point. Many men don't propose because they procrastinate thinking about what kind of ring their lover likes, as well as the size. Many more do not apply because they are not ready to spend millions of rupiah for a diamond ring and feel that they have to save a long time to buy it.
- If you "don't" want a fancy ring or even a ring of any kind, you can mention it, even if it's implied, so he knows that this won't be an important factor in his plans to propose.
- You can even mention your thoughts about the ring by telling someone else's ring. You can say, “You see Rico's ring for Sinta? I was surprised that Sinta didn't fall with the ring on her finger, it was so big. I wouldn't want a ring like that. Just a small and simple one.”
Step 5. If you don't want an expensive wedding, talk about this too
While proposals don't necessarily mean marriage in the near future, many men are discouraged because they fear they can't pay for a lavish wedding or because they don't want to be dragged into the hassle of planning a wedding. If you're planning to throw a small party in the garden with 50 friends and family and have a casual dress code, you'll need to make this clear as well.
While this shouldn't be a determining factor in a man's decision to marry you for life, it can in fact be enough to squish their balls in the marriage ball. Can you blame them?
Step 6. Let him see you as the "ideal future wife."
" Even though he thinks you're fun to hang out with, you also need to show your ideal side – as a woman who can be a life partner and potentially the mother of his children. So, show that you can be both a good wife and a great lover. Show that you're independent and career-oriented but still know how to take care of him when he's sick, how to decorate your home with good taste, and how to cook healthy meals – no fuss.
- If you want him to see you as a wife, your relationship must always be positive. If you spend most of your time fighting or crying over your insecurities, he'll think you're not ready for marriage.
- Show him that you can take care of yourself and are ready to move on to marriage. If he thinks that your life isn't complete until you get married, he won't want to propose.
Method 3 of 4: Express Direct
Step 1. Talk about her fears
If you discuss marriage openly, you can ease those fears a little so that he's not afraid anymore. Maybe he's worried that once you two get married, you'll change and be sucked into your comfort zone. Or is he worried that after bonding, he will be pressured into having children? It's also possible that he feels insecure, and his current self-image doesn't match the role of the husband he envisioned.
- If he's just worried about the ring or the wedding itself, you can think of a creative best way. If he can't afford a ring, you can make your own. If he doesn't want to be extravagant, you can have a small, more personal wedding ceremony.
- If he's afraid that marriage will take away the shine from your relationship, set an example of a happy married couple whose lives you admire.
Step 2. Present a logical argument about the benefits of marriage
If he was a logical thinker, this would trigger that part of his brain. While not the most romantic approach, there are some practical advantages to marriage. The practical and legal advantages of marriage include including your spouse in your insurance plan, benefiting from the government, and so on.
- Marriage is also an effective way of ensuring your spouse is financially secure if you die unexpectedly. If neither of you are married and one of you dies, the other will inherit nothing unless his or her name is listed in the will. Similarly, if you are married, you will be able to receive a widow's pension.
- While you may not want to think badly, this is perfectly logical and something to consider, especially if the two of you have been together for fifteen years and are not married.
Step 3. Make him feel like he's missing something if he doesn't marry you
If he sounds really unsure whether he wants to marry you or not, or even says he needs some time to think, give him some space. However, you need to stress that you are not going to wait forever. Show that you are a great woman who will make a man feel lucky to marry you.
While you shouldn't make him feel bad because of his uncertainty or incite him into proposing out of jealousy or guilt, you "should" let him know that if you've invested time and love in your relationship and he still doesn't know what he wants, you have the right to decide. limit
Step 4. Apply to your partner
If you think the time is right and that you are both ready to get married, there's nothing wrong with proposing to your partner. It's the 21st century now and you can act first. If you've waited long enough and are certain that the only reason holding your partner back is the proposal itself and not the prospect of marrying you, speed up the process by asking him to marry you.
Method 4 of 4: Knowing What Not to Do
Step 1. Avoid bringing up the topic of marriage over and over again
It's guaranteed that once you bring up the topic of marriage, it's immediately embedded in his brain. The more you talk about him, the less he will listen. If you're the one who "always" starts this conversation and the word "marriage" never leaves his lips, you need to take it slow.
Step 2. Ask your family and friends to shut up
You may think that your friends are trying to help out by occasionally sneaking comments about marriage at your partner, but this can make him feel like he's being ganged up on. Let him make his own decisions, without the advice or encouragement of those close to you.
Step 3. Don't give him an ultimatum
While you might think that giving an ultimatum is the quickest way to get your partner to act, giving orders like, “Marry me or we break up,” will only make him feel even more pressured and reluctant to propose. Saying, “If you don't propose in the next two months, we're breaking up,” will scare him and keep him from proposing to you.
However, if you feel like you've been waiting long enough and are feeling really ready and think he's ready, too, talk to him without making a loud statement
Step 4. Don't start pressing him before he's ready even if he's close to ready
If you've only been with him for a few months or longer than that. but your relationship isn't "too" serious, you shouldn't pressure him into marrying you if he's not at all ready. Doing this too soon can end the relationship sooner than your vows.
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Just because all your friends are ready to get married or because you can't wait to get dressed, doesn't mean you should talk about marriage on a second date. You might not get a third date!
Get Your Long Term Boyfriend to Propose You Step 18
Step 5. Don't beg
Many magazines may give you the wrong message, leading you to think that if you want your sweetheart to truly fall in love, all you have to do is cook for her, dress her up, pick her up from outings with her friends, or basically always be on hand when he calls so he can see how “awesome” you are.
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This "no" will make him raise your status as a wife. Men are more attracted to women who are confident and independent than women who always serve their desires and will abandon any activity to pamper them. Even more so if women do it just because they think this way their lover will be more likely to propose.
Get Your Long Term Boyfriend to Propose You Step 19Bullet1
Tips
If you've had a good relationship to date, don't let it deteriorate just because he hasn't proposed. You want him to feel like marrying you. Yelling at him about this, bursting into tears, and threatening to leave him if he doesn't propose soon won't get you what you want. Be patient, but if you can't be patient, tell him
Warning
- Don't let your conversation on this topic turn into a threat for him to leave you. You want commitment, not a breakup.
- Make sure you are both happy before thinking about entering the world of marriage.
- If you can't give him the time he needs to digest his feelings, he will feel pressured.
- If you can't live without marriage and he's not interested in getting married, then you're in a relationship with the wrong person. The only alternative is to rethink your position in marriage. If staying with him is more important than getting married, you need to change the way you think.
