Starting a conversation can sometimes be a difficult thing to do. Sometimes, you feel shy or don't have much in common with the other person. However, learning to be a good speaker isn't as difficult as you might think, although it does take a lot of practice. Regardless of the situation (eg a dinner party, a school event, or just a phone call), a good chat begins when two (or more) people feel comfortable talking to each other. There are steps you can take to learn how to stay calm and have a conversation with anyone.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Starting a Chat
Step 1. Perfect the timing
Timing is key to starting an interesting chat. Of course, no one likes to be disturbed when they are busy or busy doing something. When you want to start a chat, keep in mind that timing is key. If you need to have an important conversation with your boss, for example, try making a schedule to talk to him or her from the start. You need to make sure that you have a specific time to have a productive conversation.
- Timing is also important when you want to have a spontaneous chat. Maybe you've been looking for a way to meet new neighbors. You can't just start a conversation when your neighbor arrives at home soaked in the rain, looking tired, and carrying a plastic bag of food. In a situation like this, a simple greeting like “Hi! How are you?" usually considered sufficient. Refrain from getting to know him better at a more opportune time.
- If someone makes eye contact with you, it might be a good time to start a conversation. For example, if you're looking through a book in a bookstore and someone standing next to you looks at you several times to find out what book you want to read, try talking to him. You could say, for example, “This book looks interesting. Do you like biographies?”
- If you want to talk to your husband about getting a new puppy, make sure you approach and start the conversation at the right time. If he's not used to getting up and running in the morning, it's a good idea not to start a conversation about it before he's had his coffee (or, at least, before his "life" has really accumulated).
Step 2. Comment on what's around you
Starting a conversation out of the blue, without any preparation is a good way to develop your skills as a speaker. Take some time each day to start a chat with someone you meet in your everyday life. For example, you could try talking to someone in line behind you when you visit a coffee shop (or perhaps the bus passenger sitting next to you). Make comments or questions about what's around. This can be a great and natural way to start a conversation.
- Try saying, for example, “I like the coffee sold here. What's your favorite coffee?" Such phrases or sentences show that you are interested in the conversation and want to start the conversation in a completely natural way (in this case, not forced).
- Use positive sentences. Cheerful comments are usually more effective than negative ones. For example, you might say, “Isn't the weather nice? I like it when the weather is cool so I can wear my sweater without feeling stifling.”
Step 3. Remember the people you've met
Many of us meet many people every day. Regardless of whether you work for a large company, or simply meet people in your child's neighborhood or school, it's often difficult to match someone's face and name. However, research shows that remembering someone's name as well as calling them by their name helps improve the personal relationship between you and that person.
When you first learn someone's name, repeat the name in conversation with them. When someone someone says, for example, “Hi! My name is Budi!", try to say, "Nice to meet you, Budi." Such direct repetition helps you retain the name information in memory
Step 4. Give praise
Fun sentences can break any awkwardness. Often people respond positively to you when you give them a compliment. Try to pinpoint one aspect you can comment on, and make sure you're giving a genuine compliment. Your tone of voice and facial expressions often reflect and convey your opinion, so make sure you're being sincere when you're complimenting him.
- Try giving words of encouragement to coworkers you want to get to know better. You could say, for example, “I was really impressed with the way you delivered that presentation. Can you give me tips on how to manage and use persuasive sentences effectively?”
- Such a statement or sentence can not only be a positive start to a conversation, but also open up the possibility for a follow-up conversation.
Method 2 of 3: Become an Active Participant in the Chat
Step 1. Ask meaningful questions
To have a good conversation, it takes at least two people. Make sure you play your role well and actively participate in the discussions. One of the best ways to do this is to ask questions that will naturally develop the discussion.
- Ask open-ended questions. Instead of saying, "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?", try saying, "What are your plans for this beautiful day?" The first example question only requires the other person to answer "Yes" or "No" so that after the question is answered, the conversation can end. Therefore, try asking questions that require the other person to answer in more than two words.
- Ask questions to clarify what the other person is saying. If you and your child are talking about house rules, try saying something like, “I know you're upset that you're not getting a lot of freedom. What do you think we can do together to find a solution that works for both of us?”
Step 2. Try to be an active listener
When you're an active listener, you need to respond to the person you're talking to and show that you're following the conversation or discussion. You can show it both physically and verbally. By actively listening, you make the other person feel valued and respected. Of course this is very important if you want to develop an effective chat or conversation.
- You can show the other person that you are listening to what they are saying through positive body language. Make sure you also show eye contact during the conversation. Also, try nodding or shaking your head at appropriate times.
- You can provide verbal cues to show the other person that you are still following and interested in the conversation. The clue could be a simple phrase like “Wow, that's really interesting!” or a more complete sentence, like “Gee, I didn't know about that before. Can you tell me what it's like to run a marathon?”
- Another way to show that you are actively listening to the other person is to repeat the sentences. Try paraphrasing a sentence he says. For example, you might say, “It's exciting to try out new opportunities to volunteer. It seems you are very interested in trying new things.”
- Remember that when you are an active listener, you need to catch and think about what the other person is saying. Instead of trying to come up with sentences for you to say yourself, focus on listening to what he's saying and absorbing the information he shares.
Step 3. Be sincere
When chatting, try to show that your interest in the other person is genuine. For example, you might want to get to know your boss better. He may have a lot of work or demands to attend to and not much time for small talk. Instead of just chatting casually, try to establish a more real relationship. If you're working on a project for him, ask him for advice on how to deal with clients. Be sincere and show that you value their opinion.
Let's say your neighbor put some country flag stickers on his car's rear windshield, and you want to know why. You could say, for example, “I see you have some stickers on the South Korean flag on the back of your car. Do you like South Korea?” This is a genuine and “tidy” way to start a conversation with someone. You can also discuss other topics once you get to know the person
Step 4. Find common interests
To have an interesting conversation, you need to think about the things the other person is interested in. If you can find out what you both like, it can be a great topic to get to know each other better. You may need to ask a few questions to find something you both like, but at least it will help a lot.
Maybe you're trying to get along with your brother-in-law, but you actually have a completely different personality from him. Try talking about a new television show you saw or a book you read. Who knows you and your sister-in-law have the same taste. If things don't go well, find something else that people generally enjoy. For example, usually people like delicious food. Ask him what his favorite food is, and start building a conversation around that topic
Step 5. Stay on top of the latest news
Try to stay concerned and know the information that is being circulated a lot. This way, you'll be prepared when someone tries to chat with you about recent events. Take a few minutes each morning to read the news. With good knowledge, you can become a better participant in the ongoing conversation.
Another technique to follow is to pay attention to what is trending in popular culture. Talking about the latest books, movies, and music trends can be a fun way to have interesting conversations with friends, coworkers, or even other passengers on the way to work or school
Step 6. Watch the body language shown
Body language is an important component of face-to-face conversation, especially eye contact. By showing eye contact (and maintaining it), you show that you are interested in the conversation and are paying attention to the other person.
- Keep in mind that eye contact doesn't require you to keep your eyes on the other person throughout the conversation. Instead, try to maintain eye contact with the other person for 50% of the duration of the speaking turn, and 70% of the duration of the listening turn.
- You can also use other nonverbal cues when participating in a chat. Try nodding your head to show understanding, or smiling when you need to show a positive response.
- Also, remember not to just stand stiff like a statue during the conversation. Move your body (but don't overdo it as this is an unexpected thing that can make the other person feel uncomfortable with you). Cross your legs if necessary, but make sure your body movements reflect your interest in the conversation! Remember that your body is a much more powerful form of communication than words.
Step 7. Don't over-share information
When you over-share information, you say things that could embarrass yourself or, even worse, the other person or listener. This can make the situation awkward. Sometimes people say things that they instantly regret. Sharing information excessively can make you and the other person feel awkward. To prevent this, try to understand the situations where there is the greatest risk of encouraging someone to over-share information.
- That kind of thing often happens when you're feeling nervous, especially when you're trying to make a good impression. For example, if you are taking a serious job interview, try to take a deep breath before you enter the interview room. Also, take some time to think about what you are going to say before you say it.
- Evaluate your relationship with the other person. Before sharing information, ask yourself if the other person you are talking to is the right person to talk to about the information in question. For example, you certainly can't just talk about your health problems with someone standing in line behind you when you visit a coffee shop. He doesn't need the information and, in fact, will likely feel uncomfortable hearing it.
Method 3 of 3: Getting the Positive Side of Interesting Chats
Step 1. Strengthen your personal relationships
Communication is one of the best ways to strengthen a relationship with someone. Talking is one of the most effective forms of communication, so it makes sense that verbal contact can strengthen your personal bonds with others. Try to have deep conversations with people you care about.
- One way to strengthen relationships is to have more meaningful conversations over dinner. For example, if you live with your partner, try not to watch television while eating. Instead, try to have interesting conversations a few times a week.
- Ask interesting questions, such as “If you won the lottery, what would you do first?” Such questions help you to better connect and get to know each other better.
Step 2. Develop a working relationship
Having an interesting chat is a great way to improve your work life or career. You can not only get a promotion or advancement in your profession, but also make your daily routine more enjoyable. Try talking to your coworkers about things other than the world of work. It helps you to connect with co-workers on a personal basis. Plus, when you work on a project together, you're naturally able to communicate with them more effectively.
Maybe all this time you noticed that your cubicle colleague put some photos of his cat on his desk. Try asking her a few questions about her pet so you can get to know her better. This way, in the future you can start a more in-depth conversation
Step 3. Enjoy a happier life
Research shows that people who are happy and comfortable with the conversation they are having are generally happier people. Oftentimes, this refers to deep conversations, although small, casual conversations can also increase the level of endorphins in the body. Basically, put in the effort and make the most of the chats you have every day. In this way, you will begin to feel comfortable and happy with your life in general.
Step 4. Smile during a conversation to improve the mood
Make an effort to smile more during a conversation with someone. Smiling will make you feel happier because it triggers the release of endorphins. This is an easy way to improve the quality of the conversation while increasing its benefits for you.
Try reminding yourself to smile before, during, and after a conversation to maximize the benefits
Tips
- Give praise to the interlocutor. For example, a compliment like "I love your bag" can lead you and the other person to talk about clothing stores, bags, and anything else you can think of.
- Start a conversation only when the time is right, both for you and the other person. He doesn't want to talk to you if he's in a hurry. Otherwise, he could be annoyed with you.
- Give good responses to the questions asked.
- If you know the other person, review previously discussed topics and move on to one of those topics. For example, you could come back to talk about his child's accomplishments, a project he's currently working on, or a problem he shared with you.
- If you don't know him, find out what he's interested in and talk about it. Once you know what he's interested in, you can start an interesting chat with him.
