Adolescence can be difficult for both parents and children. Parents often struggle with the transformation of their sweet and loving child into a rebellious teenager. Teenagers are easily frustrated when their parents fail to understand the turmoil of hormones, pressure, and the sense of freedom that begins to grow within them while this turmoil also overwhelms the child. Try to understand what your teen is going through in these transformative years. Then, employ various tactics to guide and support your child as he grows up.
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Method 1 of 5: Understanding Why Teenagers' Moods Change
Step 1. Recognize that hormones have a significant effect on mood
Children's behavior based on changing moods is caused by physiological factors. Puberty hormones often dominate chemical levels in your child's developing brain.
Be aware that the hormones in the adult brain can operate differently in a teenager's body. For example, the hormone THP in the adult brain is a calming influence. But in the teenage brain, THP increases anxiety
Step 2. Remember that your teen's brain is still developing
The human frontal lobe -- the part of the brain responsible for control, judgment, and decision making -- doesn't really develop until humans reach their early 20s. Your child's brain is arguably still under development even though the rest of the body looks "adult".
Step 3. Remind yourself that your child doesn't like to have mood swings
Your child is trying to deal with hormonal changes, body changes, identity formation, peer pressure, and his desire to be free. No wonder he's acting up! He can feel frustrated, confused, or even afraid of the changes in his life. Your child needs you to provide stability and support -- even if what they say is not.
Step 4. Take a look back at your teenage years
Perhaps the best way to understand your teen is to remember your own youth. Think about your accomplishments and difficulties, and think about how your parents dealt with them.
Method 2 of 5: Redirecting Negative Behavior
Step 1. Stay calm and consistent
Hormones can make teens emotional, instead of logical thinking. He can feel uneasy due to the intensity of the emotions he is experiencing. Your child needs you as a calm and consistent person in his life.
Step 2. Set clear boundaries for behavior and communication
Involve your child in setting these rules. By doing so, you honor the sense of freedom that has grown in him and give you the opportunity to remind him one day that you involved him in setting these rules and he should follow them. He may grumble, but knowing your boundaries can help your child feel secure.
- Define and use consequences to deal with bad behavior problems, but make sure the list of rules and consequences is not too long. Prioritize the main things that worry you.
- Try not to sweat too much. If your teen is acting up a lot, ignore petty things like shrugging, raising an eyebrow, or looking bored.
- Sometimes teenagers are unintentionally rude. (Again, it's worth remembering that his brain is growing.) Calmly ask what he means. For example, you might say, "Your comment was quite offensive. Are you being mean to be rude?"
Step 3. Focus on the child's behavior, not his personality or character
Let him know if you object to his bad behavior, but focus on what he's doing, not him. Your child isn't stupid, even if it's not smart to slam the door in frustration and annoy his little brother. Continue to affirm how valuable he is even when you're explaining why his behavior is unacceptable.
Method 3 of 5: Offering Positive Support
Step 1. Spend time with your teen
When your child wants to talk to you, listen to him. You can offer to drop him off if he needs to go somewhere and use the time in the car to chat. Sometimes sitting in the car together it feels more comfortable to have a conversation.
Step 2. Continue to involve yourself in your teen's daily life
Sometimes this is easier than other things, but make an effort to ask questions about activities and events in his life. Follow the progress of the child's sports team or attend their performances.
- Try to learn one of your child's interests so you two have something in common. If your child loves soccer, try to keep up with his favorite league. While you shouldn't be too involved in your child's interests, one common interest can make it easier for you to have a conversation with them.
- Encourage your child to engage in stress-releasing activities such as sports, or watch a funny movie to relax.
Step 3. Give him some time alone
Teenagers need time alone to process the many changes they are going through.
- Encourage your child to write in a personal journal.
- Try to step back and give your child space to find out what is going on on their own. You have to show that you trust him to make the right decisions and that you trust his judgment.
Step 4. Affirm him
Positive words that strengthen him have a positive impact on teenagers. Make sure you say these kinds of words often when he's trying to find his own identity. When you feel proud of him, say so. Praise positive behavior. Even in heated discussions, the use of positive terminology can really help ("I know your teacher was very impressed with your performance in chemistry. Let's try to find a schedule that works for all of us where you can continue to do well on your chemistry exams at the same time." have fun with your friends too.”)
- Use descriptive praise. Try to be specific: "You are really happy to see how you help your sister play basketball. You can see your sister is really happy when she can put the ball into the basket from afar. Her throwing technique is getting better because you are a good coach. good."
- Let your child know that you care about and value their opinions.
Step 5. Find a mentor for your child
This tactic is especially important in situations where your relationship with your child is strained. Other trusted adults such as aunts, uncles, or family friends can help support your child through a difficult period in your life.
Even in situations where your relationship is very strong, a mentor can provide the extra support your child needs
Step 6. Show your affection
Your child may act up making it difficult to show you love him or her. He may feel that he is "not worthy of love." Your job as a parent is to love him for who he is. Leave a message, hug him or her, or say words of love to your child every day.
Method 4 of 5: Taking Care of Yourself
Step 1. Remember that you are a role model
If your child sees you mistreating others or engaging in destructive behavior such as drinking, smoking, or using drugs, it will be difficult for you to criticize your child's bad behavior.
Step 2. Meet your basic needs
You'll be better at handling the stress of caring for a teenager if you get enough rest, eat a healthy diet, and make time for regular exercise.
Step 3. Rest
Make sure you spend enough time each day to relax without your child. Get up early, go for a walk, or tell the kids that you need a few minutes to read a chapter of the book you're reading and you'll come back to check it out when you're done. This way you have a balanced life and you show your children how to take good care of yourself.
Step 4. Find support
Try talking to a friend or partner about raising children. The saying "it takes a village to raise a child" is true. Others will provide information, advice, or simply listen when you rant about this issue.
If you're really struggling, try to find some kind of meeting that discusses this issue or some other help. You can consult with your child's school counselor for this additional help
Step 5. Pay attention to your own mental health
Serious stress can cause symptoms of depression or anxiety. If you think you might have it, call your doctor right away.
Method 5 of 5: Watching for Suspicious Signs or More Serious Problems
Step 1. Learn to distinguish between mood swings and dangerous anger
Most teenagers with mood swings often struggle to deal with the many changes in their lives. Occasionally, however, he experiences more serious temper tantrums. If you see any of these signs of anger, contact a mental health professional immediately:
- Sentences that signify your desire to do something hurtful.
- Extreme identification with a group or affiliation. If your teen expresses a desire to "go to war" with a group, your child is crossing the line and starting to think dangerously.
- Lack of communication. It's natural for you to have trouble communicating well with your teen, but this situation can become dangerous if your child completely stops talking to you or their friends. This is a sign of a serious act of exile.
- Violence. Watch for behaviors such as hitting or vandalism, as these behaviors can escalate.
- Drop out, not only from school but from activities he used to like. Sometimes it's natural for your child to want to stop taking piano lessons when he enters high school, but a teenager who stops identifying with all the things he used to love can hurt him.
- Use of illegal substances, especially when combined with any of the behaviors above. Keep in mind the use of these illicit substances can include the use of common household items such as "sniffing" glue or stealing prescription medications from your medicine drawer.
Step 2. Find out if your child has depression
Watch for the following signs to see if he should be treated for depression:
- Feeling depressed or feeling sad often.
- Barely any energy.
- Lack of interest or motivation.
- Inability to enjoy activities that were previously enjoyed.
- Withdrawing from family or friends.
- Anger, irritability, or anxiety
- Unable to concentrate.
- Significant weight change (loss or gain).
- Significant changes in sleep patterns, ranging from insomnia to oversleeping.
- Feeling guilty or worthless.
- Thinking of dying or committing suicide.
- The values are decreasing.
Step 3. If it is very worrying, take immediate action
The form of action taken depends on your concern.
- If you're concerned that your child is engaging in destructive behavior because of anger or depression, try talking to him with information, not a challenge. Provide the book or website link that underlies your concern. By doing so, you respect and acknowledge his ability to make better decisions going forward.
- If you are concerned that your child may be putting themselves or others at risk, seek help immediately. Contact your child's doctor, mental health professional, or school counselor.
