As a parent of a troubled teen, you must have a strategy for dealing with the teen's behavior and helping him or her to work things out on their own. This sounds like an uphill task, but it's really not that hard either. Here are some things to consider when dealing with this.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Realizing the Circumstances
Step 1. Know what the teen is dealing with
Problems can include many things, from behavioral problems (drug use, sexuality problems, and unlawful acts) to psychological problems (ego and self-image). Knowing what he's up against is the first step to helping in his recovery.
Before you investigate, try to communicate honestly with him (or ask someone else to do this for you). If he doesn't want to open up, you'll have to analyze the signs yourself
Step 2. Watch for behavior problems
Behavioral problems include if his grades in school drop, if he loses interest in a hobby he used to enjoy, and any other suspicious activity.
While this is only a symptom of a deeper problem, by being alert you can analyze all the signs so you can get to know your son/daughter better. Take every opportunity to dig up information and take notes to keep things organized
Step 3. Communicate with people around the teenager's environment
You can start from neighbors and their friends' parents. This way, you can see the big picture of the situation affecting the teen and their peers.
Apart from being an invaluable source of information, it is likely that her friends' parents are also facing a similar problem and can be a source of support. Don't hesitate to open up about your concerns in trying to be a caring and involved parent in their child's life
Step 4. Monitor your teen's development
Not all teens can be model students, not all will start dating at the same age, but by keeping an eye on where their lives are going, you can better predict where they are going.
Not all symptoms are necessarily signs of trouble or rebellious behavior. But as a parent, you need to know exactly what your teen is developing, both mental maturity and physical development
Step 5. Understand what the standard for a "normal" teenager is
Sometimes signs of trouble are just signs that the teen is maturing. All teenagers have to face various challenges as they mature.
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Following fashion trends is important for most teenagers. This means that the teenager may suddenly want to wear provocative clothes or dye their hair. This is still quite normal. You don't need to nag him too much as long as he hasn't crossed the extremes like a tattoo.
A change in appearance isn't a "red light" unless you suspect he's hurting himself or seeing signs of extreme weight gain/loss
- As teens grow older, they will exhibit argumentative and defiant behavior. Serious signs include: skipping school and getting into fights or violence of any kind. These things had crossed the normal limits of the rebellious nature of teenagers.
- Mood swings are natural. Maybe at times the teenager looks annoyed and then suddenly excited. What to watch for is if he is constantly feeling sad, restless, or unable to sleep. These could be signs of depression or that he is being bullied or bullied.
- If the teenager had a chance to dabble in a little liquor, it was still forgivable. But if this continues to become a habit or is followed by problems at school or at home, this could be a "red light".
Method 2 of 4: Giving Support
Step 1. Accompany the teenager
Talk to them openly, show that you care and want to know what's going on in their life.
All teenagers (all humans even) need to feel loved. No matter how independent a person is and even if he or she doesn't seem to like you, that person still needs positive attention and affirmation from you
Step 2. Support a positive influence in his life
If he likes sports, joins a club, or does other positive activities, give him support so he can get the most out of it. If the teenager knows he has support then he will be active in doing these good activities.
You have to show support clearly. According to a study, teenagers often misinterpret facial expressions. When shown pictures of adults expressing various emotions, teenagers often interpret it as anger. This is because teenagers use different parts of the brain in interpreting emotions
Step 3. Seek professional help
The teen may not be able to open up to you, but a professional therapist may be a good option.
- Discuss this with your spouse or close relatives to hear their opinion. If it looks like therapy is needed, talk to your son/daughter first. If they refuse, explain the benefits of therapy and that they won't be branded as bad at this - in fact it can be kept a secret.
- Choose a therapist who specializes in treating troubled teens. Each therapist has a specialty. By doing in-depth research first, you can maximize the effectiveness of therapy for the teenager.
Method 3 of 4: Dealing With Problems Effectively
Step 1. Set boundaries for your teen
It's not mandatory to set a curfew, but it's a good idea for the teen to know what time to get home. Limits on how far they can go and what they can do will show them that you care about their behavior.
Be reasonable and reward good behavior. If your son/daughter is playing with a friend you know and remembers to call to let you know, relax. By doing so he is trying to be trusted, so show that you see the good work and appreciate it
Step 2. Emphasize that there are consequences
It's no use if you say he's been banned from traveling for a week but the next night he's gone. Make sure the boundaries you make must be adhered to.
Be consistent. It's hard at first, but with a routine you and your child will get used to the rules. The teenager will be aware of the consequences of his actions without having to be warned
Step 3. Communicate with the teenager's teacher and counselor
If you suspect there is a problem at school, perhaps the teachers can provide more information.
Teachers should not mind if the conversation is kept secret. Telling them that your child's behavior is a bit worrying is not a disgrace. Teachers also play a role in helping and they don't know when there is a problem at home
Step 4. Give the teenager some privacy
They need enough time to decide what they want to be. If they lock themselves in their rooms, it's not the end of the world. Give it time.
This is especially important if your teen is prone to anger. They need time to cool off. Asking him to apologize when he's upset will only make things worse
Step 5. Give them responsibility
The form of responsibility is up to you. Responsibilities can be in the form of chores at home or by asking them to volunteer for nearby social activities in exchange for extra pocket money.
Invite the teenager to work part time. If he's not looking for a part-time job, try asking people around if there are vacancies or neighbors who need help
Step 6. Make sure they are active in the family
Make sure you are active first! Invite them to help prepare dinner and play games with the family on a regular basis. By showing teens that they are part of the family and that they are cared for, they will feel more responsible for their behavior.
Be an example. If you're always surfing the internet and emailing during dinner, your teen will feel like it's okay to copy that. If you want him to be more involved in the family, you have to be involved too
Method 4 of 4: Taking Care of Yourself
Step 1. Take care of your emotions
You won't be able to help the teen if you're always angry, pushy, and abusive. You want positive change, while letting your emotions run rampant will only make things worse.
Try to take an approach other than being a parent to your child. Teenagers won't always obey just because you're older. Think about how you would solve the problem if you and the teen were the same age. How do you approach peers? A calm mind will make it easier to make the clearest and best decisions
Step 2. Take some time to relax
If you're getting sleep deprived because of this problem, you're not fit to deal with it. In the end, the teenager should be able to handle the problem on his own, not you.
Don't feel guilty about needing a break. It is important that you come back refreshed and strong before tackling a serious problem. If you are exhausted, the effect will be bad; You will get annoyed and give up more quickly. The teenager needs you not to give up. Take time off so you can keep fighting
Step 3. Always be positive
It could be that you are exaggerating the problem. Try to remember the youth of yourself or your friends and relatives. Most rebellious behavior is only a temporary phase. While it's important to take your teen seriously and deal with the issues at hand, realizing that this is only temporary will make you more able to control stress and be more resilient.
Happiness is contagious. If you appear overwhelmed, exhausted, and cynical in the teen's eyes, then he or she is missing out on a role model. Teenagers are still at a stage where they need role models and that should be you
Tips
- Gathering with the local community of parents can provide more insight into what is going on with local youth. You need to know the standards so you can set realistic expectations.
- Treat your teen as a human being. Don't use violence, belittle, or laugh at her when she cries. There is a clear line between disciplining a child and abusing him. Teenagers need someone who can be trusted, not a bully/bully.
- Give the teenager some privacy. Find out about his life, but don't demand all the details. Enough privacy is also important so that they can be themselves.
