How to Recover from the Trauma of Rape and Sexual Violence

2024 Author: Jason Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-16 10:50

Whether you or a loved one has been the victim of rape or sexual assault, know that the trauma caused is reversible. Each survivor of rape and sexual violence goes through three stages or phases of recovery from trauma at different rates.

Step

Part 1 of 1: Going through the Acute Phase

Step 1. Recognize that this is not the result of your fault

Whatever happened, it was not your actions that caused the perpetrator to rape or sexually assault you.

• Don't be afraid to tell others even if you're worried you'll be blamed. This is not your fault. Your body is yours, and only you have the right to control it.
• Rape and sexual violence can happen to anyone, anywhere. Men can be victims too.
• You can't be "asked to be raped," no matter what kind of clothes you wear, and you're not alone.
• Being forced to have sex or being sexually abused by a date or lover is also rape. This kind of incident is still rape, even if you know the perpetrator or your lover. You can be in a relationship with someone and then they force you to have sex against your will, and this coercion is not always accompanied by violence. More than half of rape cases occur by perpetrators known to the victims.
• Alcohol or drugs are not a reason for someone to rape. Indeed, the effects of these two substances can reduce shyness and increase the tendency to be rude. Alcohol and drugs can also decrease your ability to seek help. However, anyone who drinks or consumes drugs, this cannot be used as an excuse in cases of sexual violence.
• If you are a man and you get an erection during the sexual assault, don't be shy and don't think you're enjoying it. An erection is just a natural physical reaction to a stimulus, which persists even if you don't want and don't enjoy the stimulus. You cannot be said to "ask" to be treated that way.

Step 2. Seek emergency help

If you are in a dangerous emergency situation or are seriously injured, call emergency services. Your safety is top priority.

The police emergency assistance numbers that can be contacted in Indonesia are 110 and 112

Step 3. Don't shower, clean up, or change clothes

You naturally feel the need to remove the traces of the perpetrator's actions from your body but it is really important that you delay this action.

• Any bodily fluids or hair fragments left on your body from the perpetrator can be used as evidence if you file a lawsuit later.
• Cleaning the face, body, or washing clothes can remove important evidence.

Step 4. Seek emergency medical attention

Go to the hospital and tell the medical staff that you were recently sexually assaulted, as well as whether it involved vaginal or anal penetration.

• If you allow, specially trained medical personnel will carry out a forensic examination and use specialized rape equipment to collect samples of hair/feather fragments and body fluids as forensic evidence. Such medical personnel have undergone training including in sensitivity to the feelings and needs of victims in very difficult times and they will try to make the whole examination process as easy as possible for the victim.
• You may need certain tests or treatments for sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy. This procedure may include an emergency method of contraception or prophylactic treatment to prevent sexually transmitted infections.

Step 5. Tell a medical professional if you suspect that you have been drugged or assaulted while under the influence of alcohol

If you are suspicious about the use of certain anesthetics (commonly called "date rape drugs"), try to hold your urination because medical personnel will need a sample of your urine to test for the presence of an anesthetic commonly used in rape cases, such as "Rohypnol"."

Step 6.

Call emergency assistance services.

You can lodge a complaint with Komnas Perempuan by telephone (021) 3903963. In the US, you can call the Sexual Violence Help Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or through the website, and trained staff will guide you to go where it needs to go and take the necessary action. In Canada, contact the emergency assistance services in each province, for which data you can find at this link.

Many sexual violence assistance centers provide trained personnel to accompany victims to hospitals or to medical appointments, so that victims do not have to do it alone

Consider contacting the police to report an incident that has occurred. Providing information to the police can force perpetrators to take responsibility for their actions and prevent them from repeating the same behavior to others.

• If you suspect that you have been sedated, as much as possible keep the glass or bottle you have been drinking with. Drug testing will be done to find the presence of the anesthetic and provide evidence that can be used later.
• The most common anesthetic method used in rape cases is not "Rohypnol", but alcohol. Tell the police if what happened to you involved alcohol or drugs. If you have consumed alcohol or certain drugs (for example, drugs) prior to the incident, the rape is still not your fault.
• Notifying the police also provides a psychological advantage that helps you make the transition from victim to survivor.

Do not delay acting immediately if time has elapsed from the event. Even though the rape may have occurred more than 72 hours ago, it is still important that you contact the police, emergency services, and medical professionals.

Evidence in the form of body fluids is most useful if it is collected within 72 hours of the event. You may not be sure whether to file a lawsuit or not, but still collect evidence so that you can use it when you need it later

Survive the emotional trauma that occurred. The event that befell you is very likely to cause shock, depression, anxiety, fear and suspicion, and nightmares. All of this is normal and will improve with time.

• Survivors may also feel guilty and ashamed, suffer from eating and sleeping disorders, and have difficulty focusing.
• Trauma experienced by survivors of rape and sexual violence is a specific type of post-traumatic stress disorder.

Understand that you too will experience physical symptoms. You may suffer pain, cuts, bruises, internal organ injuries, or irritation from the violence. These are all things that remind you of that painful event, but they will also pass in the end.

• Don't push yourself physically for a while, at least until the pain and bruising have healed.
• Try taking a warm bath, meditating, or practicing stress relaxation techniques that work for you.

Expressing Yourself Outside

1. Know that you will experience periods of denial and depression. Denying and suppressing feelings is a very normal part of the second phase of the recovery process, the Outward Adjustment phase. These methods play an important role in the process of dealing with pain and its recovery.

   

   Survivors often go through a phase of acting as if the sexual assault had no effect on them and "actually" was just a bad sexual experience. This denial and suppression of feelings is called minimization and is a normal response that can help survivors resume life in the short term

2. Try moving on with your life first. Survivors need to get a normal "feel" back in their lives.

   

   This part of the Outward Adjustment phase is called suppression and helps you behave as if the violence wasn't happening, even though you're still very upset inside. Just like the minimization part in this phase, suppression helps you to get on with life in the short term

3. Talk about it if you can and want to. You may feel the need to constantly talk about the incident and your feelings with family, friends, support services, and therapists. This is a normal technique for dealing with trauma, called dramatization, but it doesn't mean you over-dramatize anything that isn't there.

   

   You may also feel that this trauma has taken control of your life and changed your identity, especially if you are only able and willing to talk about it. It's normal to feel like you need to "get it out" of yourself

4. Allow yourself to analyze the event. Sometimes, survivors need to analyze what happened and try to explain it to themselves or others. You may want to put yourself in the offender's shoes to try to imagine his or her mindset.

   

   This doesn't mean you empathize with the abuser and condone his behavior, so you shouldn't feel guilty if you go through this phase

5. Don't talk about it if you don't want to. You have the right not to talk about the violent incident if you don't want to, even though you may know family and friends recommend that you talk about it.

   

   Sometimes, survivors may even have to change jobs, change their city of residence, or change their circle of friends to avoid emotional triggers and be forced to talk about the event. Not all survivors experience this kind of need. This part in this phase is called escape, because the survivor feels the need to escape the pain

6. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Your depression, anxiety, fear, suspicion, nightmares, and anger are normal symptoms for people who have experienced sexual violence.

   

   During this time you may be reluctant to leave the house, have trouble eating and sleeping, and away from people and the environment

Reorganizing Your Life in the Long Term

1. Let the pain flow out. In the third and final stage of recovering from the trauma of rape, survivors often experience that memories of the event flood back and the survivor can no longer suppress it. This is the time when recovery begins to occur.

   

   You may experience this memory return in a very disturbing and disturbing way in your life. All of these are forms of post-traumatic stress and rape trauma

2. Know that this will improve with time. At this stage, survivors often feel overwhelmed, overwhelmed by past memories, and may contemplate suicide. Even though these feelings can be overwhelming, this is the stage when you begin to incorporate the past into a new reality and move on to live again.

   

   At some point, you will accept that rape is a part of your life and you can move on

3. Involve family and friends. This is the time when you regain your sense of security, trust, and control, and it is for this reason that you need to reconnect with other people.

   

   • Decide when, where and with whom you want to share your experience of the violent event. Choose people who support you and set boundaries by only talking about things you feel comfortable talking about.
   • You have the right to talk about it to whoever you want. Sometimes, the abuser threatens to commit further violence if you tell someone else about the incident, but the only way to stop the threat is to tell someone else about it.

4. Get support from professional staff. Counselors who are specially trained in dealing with the trauma of rape and sexual assault can be an empathetic companion for you through these emotional times.

   

   • You can find the right counselor by searching online for support centers, such as Komnas Perempuan, or RAINN in the US and the Association of Sexual Violence Assistance Centers in Canada.
   • There are also various forms of group therapy meetings and online conversation tools for survivors. Just find the right one for you.

5. Give yourself time to recover. You may need a few months or even a few years.

   

   Over time, you will be able to restore your identity, view of the world, and your relationships. Be patient with yourself and don't expect to recover in an instant

6. Seek help in the lawsuit filing process and its dealings. If you're not sure what to do, contact your local crisis help center for help. The staff of such organizations are trained to assist you throughout the process, including attending meetings and other appointments, should you need them.

   

   • You don't have to file a lawsuit if you don't want to. The police can also warn the perpetrator to prevent him from repeating his evil deeds.
   • You may also be entitled to financial benefits for some expenses related to the loss or reduction of your job, attending court proceedings, undergoing counselling, and so on. Get more information from your local crisis help center.
   • Many crisis relief centers work with pro-bono (free) legal aid services for survivors of sexual violence cases. In such organizations, service personnel are also available to assist you in attending meetings with lawyers or courts.

7. Understand the applicable legal provisions. Sexual violence is not bound by the statute of limitations. This means that even if a violent incident occurred months or even years ago, you can still report it to the police.

   

   • If you decide to file a lawsuit against the perpetrator and you received medical attention soon after the incident occurred, it is likely that the evidence for your case has already been collected.
   • If a doctor or nurse uses medical equipment specifically for rape cases or forensic medical equipment, this means that evidence has been collected and stored in the police archives for further investigation.

Tips

• Recovery does not mean that you completely forget what happened or that you will not experience sadness or other symptoms at all. Recovery is a personal journey to regain control of life, trust, and security, and to forgive yourself for guilt or self-blame.
• You don't need to go through this whole process in the order that is common or described in this guide. Each survivor's journey of recovery is different and moves back and forth through all the mechanics of the self dealing with all of this.

1. https://rainn.org/get-information/sexual-assault-recovery/tips-for-after-an-attack
2. https://www.sexualityandu.ca/sexual-health/sex-and-the-law/sexual-assault
3. https://1in6.org/the-1-in-6-statistics/
4. https://time.com/25150/rape-victims-talk-about-tweeting-their-experiences-publicly/
5. https://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/date_rape.html
6. https://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/date_rape.html
7. https://www.malesurvivor.org/myths.html
8. https://www.sexualityandu.ca/sexual-health/sex-and-the-law/if-it-happens
9. https://www.sexualityandu.ca/sexual-health/sex-and-the-law/if-it-happens
10. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2323517/
11. https://rainn.org/get-information/aftermath-of-sexual-assault/receiving-medical-attention
12. https://www.sexualityandu.ca/sexual-health/drug_facilitated_sexual_assault/the-hard-facts
13. https://rainn.org/get-information/sexual-assault-recovery/tips-for-after-an-attack
14. https://www.sexualityandu.ca/sexual-health/sex-and-the-law/if-it-happens
15. https://www.sexualityandu.ca/sexual-health/drug_facilitated_sexual_assault/the-hard-facts
16. https://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/rape.html#cat20018
17. https://rainn.org/get-information/aftermath-of-sexual-assault/preserving-and-collecting-forensic-evidence
18. https://uofa.ualberta.ca/-/media/ualberta/students/university-wellness-services/sac/rape-trauma-syndrome-2009.pdf
19. https://uofa.ualberta.ca/-/media/ualberta/students/university-wellness-services/sac/rape-trauma-syndrome-2009.pdf
20. https://ohl.rainn.org/online/resources/self-care-after-trauma.cfm
21. https://uofa.ualberta.ca/-/media/ualberta/students/university-wellness-services/sac/rape-trauma-syndrome-2009.pdf
22. https://ohl.rainn.org/online/resources/how-long-to-recover.cfm
23. https://uofa.ualberta.ca/-/media/ualberta/students/university-wellness-services/sac/rape-trauma-syndrome-2009.pdf
24. https://ohl.rainn.org/online/resources/how-long-to-recover.cfm
25. https://ohl.rainn.org/online/resources/how-long-to-recover.cfm
26. https://uofa.ualberta.ca/-/media/ualberta/students/university-wellness-services/sac/rape-trauma-syndrome-2009.pdf
27. https://ohl.rainn.org/online/resources/how-long-to-recover.cfm
28. https://ohl.rainn.org/online/resources/how-long-to-recover.cfm
29. https://uofa.ualberta.ca/-/media/ualberta/students/university-wellness-services/sac/rape-trauma-syndrome-2009.pdf
30. https://uofa.ualberta.ca/-/media/ualberta/students/university-wellness-services/sac/rape-trauma-syndrome-2009.pdf
31. https://ohl.rainn.org/online/resources/how-long-to-recover.cfm
32. https://uofa.ualberta.ca/-/media/ualberta/students/university-wellness-services/sac/rape-trauma-syndrome-2009.pdf
33. https://www.k-state.edu/counseling/topics/relationships/rape.html
34. https://www.pandys.org/index.html
35. https://ohl.rainn.org/online/resources/how-long-to-recover.cfm
36. https://rainn.org/get-information/aftermath-of-sexual-assault/preserving-and-collecting-forensic-evidence
37. https://www.sexualityandu.ca/sexual-health/drug_facilitated_sexual_assault/what-to-do-if-it-happens-to-you
38. https://www.rainn.org/public-policy/legal-resources/compensation-for-rape-survivors
39. https://www.sexualityandu.ca/sexual-health/sex-and-the-law/sexual-assault
40. https://rainn.org/get-information/aftermath-of-sexual-assault/preserving-and-collecting-forensic-evidence

41. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2323517/