For many people, life can feel very difficult and burdensome at times. The good news is, there are several things you can do to free yourself from negative influences and go about your day with a calm mind. There may be people who don't know how to get started yet, but you can enjoy a calm life from now on, whether by making small changes in your behavior or by making big changes in your lifestyle. Read this article and take the following steps so you can feel the peace you deserve.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Doing Mind Calming Activities
Step 1. Get used to breathing long and regularly
Although it seems easy, you need to practice breathing techniques so that you can breathe long and regularly. Mindful breathing is the best way to calm the mind because our emotions are heavily influenced by the breath. If you can adjust the rhythm of your breath to be longer and calmer, your emotions will also become calmer. Breathing exercises have been shown to lower levels of the hormone cortisol (a stress hormone) and activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of the nervous system that regulates our bodies to rest and perform digestive functions. Start practicing breathing according to the following guidelines:
- Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably.
- Place one palm on your stomach and the other on your chest.
- Inhale deeply using your abdominal muscles until your stomach expands, but your chest doesn't move at all.
- Hold your breath for a few seconds then exhale slowly.
- Repeat these steps until you find a calm breathing rhythm. Do this exercise 10 minutes every day.
Step 2. Get in the habit of exercising
Regular exercise is very beneficial for the body and mind. To stay healthy, do 30-60 minutes of aerobic exercise 3-5 times a week. Exercise is beneficial for:
- Helping the brain work in producing endorphins and serotonin, which are brain chemicals that can improve mood.
- Increase energy and overcome fatigue.
- Improves sleep quality, even for people with chronic insomnia.
- Reducing the risk of diseases, such as heart disease and type 2 diabetes.
Step 3. Get used to sunbathing in the morning so that it is exposed to the sun
Sunlight helps your body produce vitamin D and increases serotonin levels in the body. Do morning activities outdoors as often as possible because the light indoors can't have the same effect, for example by:
- Exercising in the open.
- Swimming outdoors.
- Picnic.
Step 4. Live a “flowing life”
One way that can make you feel calm and happy is to completely involve yourself in certain activities without overthinking things. This is what it means to live a flowing life. Your life will just flow when you do fun things and take on challenges within your means.
Do things you enjoy, like playing games for the weekend or applying for a job as an accountant
Step 5. Be generous
Generosity makes us feel happy and promotes peace of mind. Giving money can reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol, prolong life, and improve mental health. Generous people tend to be less prone to depression. You can be generous in a number of ways, for example:
- Volunteer at an orphanage, soup kitchen, or other community service organization.
- Donate to charity.
- Provide assistance to friends and family members with finances, home repairs, or caring for a baby.
Step 6. Be a person who is always grateful
You can feel peace of mind by being grateful for what you have. Gratitude will reduce stress, increase optimism, and life satisfaction. Don't wait until you have a lot to be grateful for because there is always a reason to be grateful. Do the following ways to make it easier for you to be grateful:
- Keep a gratitude journal. People who keep a gratitude journal tend to feel happier in their daily lives. Write down the things you are grateful for each day.
- Look at the positive side of every problem. For example, if your neighbor disturbs the peace of the neighborhood, this can make you more patient and better able to deal with annoyances.
Step 7. Join the community
People tend to prefer to be together than alone. In addition, interacting with other people makes us feel calm and happy. There are many instant ways to find happiness or serenity that are easily lost when we are busy, but spending time with other people can be an exception.
- For example, for people who embrace a certain religion, come to a place of worship according to your beliefs.
- Another example, join a sports team or group of book readers.
Step 8. Express yourself
Doing creative arts activities can be a source of happiness and peace of mind. There are many ways to express yourself through artistic activities that make your life more enjoyable, for example:
- Draw, color pictures, or paint. Don't wait until you become a great artist because this activity can help you channel your emotions and imagine in other ways.
- Join a dance class or dance to the beat of the music regularly at home.
- Playing music. Playing the guitar, piano, and other musical instruments can help you express yourself through music.
Part 2 of 2: Fixing Troubled Aspects of Life
Step 1. Determine the problematic aspect of your life
If there are things that make you uneasy, try to find out why. That way, you can make plans to overcome obstacles and live a calm life. Write down the unpleasant things that you experience everyday. Writing can help you find inspiration easily.
Step 2. Make peace with the past
Have you ever experienced an incident that is still weighing on your mind? Maybe you've made a mistake that ruined your own career? Or, you are afraid to confess your love to someone? Try to accept the past so you can work through the feelings that are still haunting you. You can't live peacefully if there are still unresolved past experiences.
- Forgive yourself, if necessary. Maybe at that time, you did not have the knowledge as you do now.
- Free yourself from anger. Write down your pent-up anger for yourself to read. Do not hide or reduce anything because other people will not know your thoughts. Don't keep holding on to anger and let the negative things build up.
- Accept what happened. Thinking about certain events over and over will only lead to suffering. Acceptance and the desire to move on with life are the start of the recovery process so you can focus on thinking about the future.
Step 3. Improve your relationship with other people
If your relationship with your parents, lover, or boss is in trouble, try to fix it so that you can accept yourself and your life fully. Sometimes, the best way for you to live a calm life is to tackle a difficult problem. A close relationship is needed so that you can feel happiness and peace of mind, so try to fix a problematic relationship.
- Consult a family therapist if your marriage or relationship is in trouble.
- Apologize if you've hurt other people's feelings. Take responsibility for your actions.
- Send someone a letter expressing your wish that you want to make up with them again.
- Feelings of alienation are the greatest source of dissatisfaction in life. Don't isolate yourself so you can find peace by socializing. The best way to connect with others is by participating in group activities, such as volunteering, taking courses, joining a book review group, or playing sports on a team.
Step 4. Forgive the other person
Instead of holding grudges, forgiving others is very beneficial for mental health and maintaining good relationships. In order to feel calm, try to let go of your hatred for someone who has hurt you. Forgiveness is an inner experience that you experience alone, not between you and the other person. If you don't want to, there's no need to make up with the person anymore.
- Forgiveness means healing yourself because you have let go of your sadness and negative judgment. Holding a grudge means bringing anger and hatred into every new situation. This will have a negative effect on yourself because you can't enjoy things that are happening right now, break up with other people, feel like you have lost the meaning of life, and experience depression or anxiety.
- You can forgive others by writing down the names of the people who made you angry and why and then telling them “I forgive you.” You'll be hurt more than them if you can't forgive, so do this for your own sake.
Step 5. Stay away from materialism
Shopping is not the right way to feel calm. You may feel happy when you have what you just bought, but this feeling will quickly fade when compared to the pleasure of having a close relationship. Materialism will lead to competition and people who like to compete tend to be more easily depressed and experience dissatisfaction in family life. If you want to live a quiet life, don't fall into the habit of shopping just to feel good.
Step 6. Make the necessary changes
You don't have to make major changes in your daily life to feel calm. For example, living in a bad neighborhood can negatively affect your mind and lead to depression. If you are very stressed about your current job or living environment, try to change it. You may still accept the tedious working conditions or uncomfortable living conditions, but these can take a toll on your mental health and make it difficult for you to live a quiet life. You can make long-term changes in the following ways:
- Make a plan to deal with the situation. When planning, make sure you decide what you really want. For example, if you want to change residence, seek information to ensure that you can adjust to the culture, food, political situation, and other things in a new place.
- Start with small things that make sense. Don't make plans to move overseas this weekend. If you are moving, look for information about home ownership, choosing a school, etc.
- Involve other people in your life. Don't do everything alone. Ask friends and family members for help. Before moving, ask their opinion and ask if they are willing to help you pack your things.
Step 7. Stay away from negative people
Relationships with negative people make you unable to live in peace because they will cause emotional baggage and never give you anything. They just want to take advantage of you and are very attention-grabbing. You will feel uncomfortable when interacting with them. Here are some suggestions for dealing with negative people:
- Don't deny. We can easily find reasons to meet nice people, but ask yourself how you feel after interacting with negative people. Are you really happy to meet him or out of necessity? Also ask if you're still hoping to get what you never got from him.
- Find out what you get out of this relationship. Negative relationships sometimes provide reciprocity so you want to live it. Maybe he makes you feel good, even if you're hurt. Maybe he wants to buy you something to correct his negative behavior.
- Find another way. You can look for other ways to fulfill what you want and need. Don't hold on to painful friendships or love relationships because you can find other people to live your life with with peace of mind, so start making new friends.
