Not everyone is the same. We don't all look the same, act the same, have the same abilities, or share the same religion or values. Some people can walk, see, talk, and hear with ease, while others need help with these things or have different ways of doing it. To deal with differences, you can embrace the different qualities, build positive social relationships, and deal with them in a healthy way.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Receiving Unique Qualities
Step 1. Accept that you are unique
Accepting yourself can help you embrace your special character and learn to work through your differences with others. Instead of trying to change yourself, you first need to be able to accept yourself and the way you look at the moment.
- Start by defining your unique qualities. Some examples might be religion, culture, diet (if you are vegetarian, etc.), medical history, disability, and physical characteristics. List all these different qualities and accept them consciously. Go through the list and say or whisper to yourself, “I accept my religion. I may be different from others, but that doesn't mean I'm not positive. I accept my unique beliefs and values. It is as important and credible as anyone else's belief."
- If you start to have negative thoughts like, "This makes me not good enough," about one of your unique qualities, say to yourself, "No, I accept this. It's not too bad. It's a part of me."
- Distinguishing yourself from others by thinking you are different can actually protect your self-esteem in certain situations. Say to yourself, "Yeah, I'm different. Yes, I'm unique. I'm cool and cool. No one can change that!”
Step 2. Change your perspective on your unique qualities
You may see different qualities as a drawback, but they really aren't. That's what makes you special. Try to give meaning to each of your unique characteristics.
- For example, if you have physical limitations, how do those limitations help you grow? What have you learned from it and what value did you get? Many people find that struggles teach them good life lessons, especially to appreciate and be grateful for what they have, instead of focusing on what they don't have.
- Avoid thinking about flaws. If you're thinking, "I'm not good enough, not very handsome, not smart enough." Change that thought to something like, “I'm pretty good on my own. I don't have to be the smartest or the most handsome in order to feel good about myself. This is how I am and I like myself for it.”
Step 3. Realize what you have in common with other people
Don't define yourself as a completely different person. It can trigger feelings of ostracism, abandonment, or rejection. Instead, pay attention to how similar you are to other people.
- For example, we are all human and share more or less the same genes. In fact we share 98% of our genes with chimpanzees so we're not really that different. We are all living and breathing creatures.
- If you feel very different from certain people, identify what you have in common, for example, you are both human, have the same interests, or speak the same language. You will soon realize how similar we are in certain aspects.
Step 4. Be proud of your background
Different isn't all bad. Embrace your unique characteristics that grew up based on parenting, culture, and family values.
- Find the positive aspects of your unique culture and focus on them. For example, cultural components include: language, religion, traditions, clothing, holidays, values, standards, gender roles, social roles, work, and much more,
- If your dress style or religion is different, it means you are attractive.
Method 2 of 3: Building Positive Relationships
Step 1. Boost your confidence
Having positive relationships with others is a crucial component of being able to deal with differences. We need social connections, and a sense that we fit in somewhere in order to feel well. People are attracted to someone who is positive and confident. You need the confidence to face your fears and meet new people.
- Use positive self-talk. Avoid blaming or punishing yourself. For example, avoid thinking, "That's really bad! Nothing's wrong with me!"
- Try to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness can help a person become less judgmental and more self-accepting. You just have to be aware of everything around you. What objects or colors do you see? How are you feeling right now? What did you hear? Be aware of your thoughts, feelings and surroundings.
- Everyone has something that makes them cool or perfect. So, highlight it. Buy cool clothes, sing, dance, act. Do whatever makes you feel great.
Step 2. Find people who are similar to you
When you feel different and may be experiencing social rejection, finding a group of people who are similar to you (in terms of culture, ethnicity, religion, interests, disabilities, appearance, values, etc.) can be helpful. Everyone needs to feel part of a community in order to feel happy and prosperous.
- Join extracurriculars or classes with like-minded people. Examples: extracurricular or science classes, math, drama, dance, choir, class books, and government simulations.
- Try exercising at school or just for fun things like: basketball, volleyball, soccer, football, running, marathon, water polo, tennis, dancing, or being a cheerleader.
- Try visiting Meetup.com where you can search for any group you want, which includes: climbing, painting, playing video games, rock climbing and much more. Make sure it's safe and if you're a minor, make sure your parent or guardian is aware of it.
Step 3. Be sincere
Authenticity is important in establishing positive relationships with others. No one wants to interact or be in a relationship with someone who is always pretending. Be your unique self. Avoid changing personalities (speaking or acting differently) to try to blend in.
- Shout when you want to (and don't get in trouble), run everywhere, make crazy songs. Do whatever you want to do! Don't change for other people. Change if you want.
- If you don't talk much, there's no need to talk much. If at heart you are a hippie, be a hippie.
- Create your own style. If you really like Abercrombie, wear it, but don't wear it because you're following other people. If you like jeans and dresses, wear them.
Method 3 of 3: Dealing with Differences
Step 1. Educate others about yourself
Sharing your culture, values, and personal characteristics with others can help reduce the stigma or negative stereotypes associated with your unique qualities. If people are insightful, sometimes their minds can be open and accept the diversity and differences within each person.
- Start by talking about yourself with someone you trust and feel receptive to.
- The more you practice appearing confident when you talk about yourself, your history, and your culture, the easier it will be.
Step 2. Be firm with bullies
Unfortunately, being different, including being disabled or being above average weight, can sometimes increase your chances of social rejection or bullying. If certain people are badmouthing or abusing them, you can deal with them appropriately by being assertive. Being assertive means being open about your thoughts and feelings, while respecting the person.
- One example of being assertive is to use statements starting with "I". For example, “I get annoyed when you call me weird.” In this statement you focus on your own feelings, not on the other person's. The person's feelings are no more important than yours. You can continue the statement by explaining, “I'm different, but you're different too. I'd be happy if you didn't think I was weird. I respect you and I also hope that you treat me with justice."
- Another way to be assertive is to set boundaries. For example, you might say, “I want you to stop calling me weird. If you keep doing that, I'll keep you away. I can't stand being teased."
- If you are constantly being bullied, either verbally or physically, seek help from a teacher, counselor, or principal.
Step 3. Study “different” people
Find out about Led Zeppelin, Harriet Tubman, Martin Luther King, and the hippie movement. There is much to be learned from them. They are, in the opinion of some, cool, unique, and original people. They stood out in the crowd, dared to be different, and some of them even risked their lives to fight for their beliefs.
