Having a negative attitude is dangerous for you and for those around you. The longer you have a negative view of life and yourself, the harder it will be to change that attitude. However, if you want to change the way you see the world and yourself, there are several things you can do. You can begin to reexamine your attitude towards the world and yourself, start looking at simple ways to improve your perspective, and then work to fix some of the major problems you have about the world and yourself.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Observing Your Attitude
Step 1. Rethink your beliefs now
If you believe the world is a bad place, you may tend to be negative. So if you can work to change your beliefs about the world, your attitude will follow suit.
- Also keep in mind that beliefs tend to be more subjective and there are several ways to look at the same thing. So, try to look at the available evidence that contradicts the beliefs in your mind.
- For example, if you believe the world is a bad place, you could spend two hours trying to figure things out, such as how people help each other meet their needs.
Step 2. Examine your thoughts about the world
Your negative thoughts about the world can cause you to act in such a way and this can determine the outcome of various situations. Your negative thoughts may even begin to take the form of a “divination” and your negative outlook becomes stronger each time one of your predictions comes true. This phenomenon is known as self-prediction.
One example of self-prediction is if you think that the world is cold, it means that the place, yourself, and other people are also cold. Eventually, people will turn cold and mean towards you. You may interpret their actions according to your view of the world, which confirms your attitude
Step 3. Take responsibility for your attitude
You have complete control over what you think about the world. Try to remember this principle and use it to your advantage. Finally, you are also responsible for your attitude and cannot blame others for what you think about them or your situation.
Remember that while you may not be able to change the situation, you can still change your reaction to the situation by choosing the right attitude
Step 4. Reframe your focus
In some senses, much of reality is actually subjective, as to whether or not you enjoy what you do. Much depends on the thoughts you emphasize and focus on.
- For example, if you don't enjoy your job, you might think with a bad attitude, "This job sucks and serves no purpose."
- However, you can also take a positive attitude towards the same situation and think “It's amazing that I can still work and earn money to support myself and my family. Imagine living in a time of starvation and no food.”
Step 5. Fake it until you do it with all your heart
Part of your attitude is formed when you watch yourself act. This is called self-perception theory, and it does this by drawing conclusions about one's attitudes by observing one's own behavior.
- For example, one study found that if you focused people on a past religious activity, they were more likely to report having a better attitude toward religion.
- So if you want to improve your attitude toward life and yourself, you can succeed by continuing to behave the way you want to. “Fake it until you do it with all your heart” can be an effective way to improve your attitude.
Method 2 of 3: Making Small Changes
Step 1. Set a reasonable target
Setting hard-to-reach goals can reinforce negative attitudes about the world, namely that it's too hard, it's not fair, the storm is always on you, etc. Setting impossible targets can also kill your motivation.
Instead of setting goals such as “I will get A's in all subjects this semester”, try setting goals such as “I will do my best in class”; or instead of setting a goal to become a famous musician, you can set a goal to practice regularly
Step 2. See failure as an opportunity to learn
The thought that your talents and abilities are not always fixed and can't change keeps you learning and growing from your mistakes. You can use the power of that thinking to become more skilled and hone your talents and build positive things in your life.
- By seeing failure as an opportunity to learn and grow, you will become more optimistic when facing defeat in life.
- For example, if you're not doing well in school, instead of berating yourself and calling yourself stupid, say something like, “I didn't do as well as I hoped but I can talk to my teacher so I can improve my grades next semester.”
Step 3. Smile
If you're having trouble adjusting to a positive attitude toward life and yourself, try to keep a smile on your face. Force yourself to smile a little each day while reflecting on your life and yourself. Research shows that there is a reciprocal relationship between facial muscles and a person's emotional level: usually we are happy and then smile, but we can also smile first and then feel happy.
If you need help smiling, try shaping your smile with two pencils pressed up near each corner of your lips; holding a pencil between your teeth will make you smile
Step 4. Look at the people around you
Seeing things around us will make us learn something extraordinary. So, seek inspiration from the people around you, what they do, their biographies, or the life stories of people you meet. Try to find unique and inspiring qualities in everyone you meet.
When you find someone has an attitude toward life and about yourself that impresses you, try to imitate the aspects of that attitude that you like the most
Step 5. Take care of everything with the right view
Sometimes the little events that happen in life can put you in the wrong mood or reinforce a negative or pessimistic attitude in yourself. However, try to remember the big picture, that these small events are only small parts.
For example, if you ruined your favorite t-shirt while washing it, ask yourself if you'll still be angry this week or next week from today. Chances are no, because in the big picture, it's not a big deal
Step 6. Watch over and get rid of negative self-talk
Talking negatively about yourself is following the unspoken words that are on your mind. Sometimes the way you talk to yourself may be irrational or based on a lack of correct information. Try to pay attention to those negative and untrue self-talk, so you can get them out of your mind.
- For example, if you keep cursing yourself that you're worthless because you should have graduated by now, ask yourself the following questions:
- Why is the fact that you didn't finish this college education when most of your friends make you worthless? Why is college equated with self-respect? Wasn't your experience in college a valuable lesson? Did all of that help shape who you are today?
- Instead, use positive language to reassemble things. Try this even if you don't feel like being positive. Instead of saying “I will never be successful”, reframe your thinking in a more positive light by saying, “I will do my best” or “I will give my best.”
Method 3 of 3: Dealing With Big Problems
Step 1. Forgive the mistakes of others
No one is perfect and there will be people who will discourage you from time to time. To improve your attitude towards life, try practicing forgiveness. By forgiving others, you will release negative emotions; and it is also good for your physical health. There are a few things to remember to be able to forgive:
- Everyone makes mistakes once in a while, including yourself. Try to remember the last time you did what the other person did to you. This will make it easier for you to see the person who wronged you and give them forgiveness.
- Giving forgiveness is for your own good, and not a gift to the person. This is something that can bring you peace and benefit.
- Look for hidden benefits behind existing violations. As controversial as it may sound, try to find the benefits, namely, finding the benefits behind the hurt you are feeling (for example, making you more resilient in the future). This can be an effective way to forgive someone.
- Remember that forgiveness takes time; forgiveness is not something that is instant.
Step 2. Don't dwell on problems in life
When you overthink something you don't like, lack money, feel too fat, too weak, or unappreciated, chances are that you will bring misfortune and unhappiness into your life. All of this can happen because of self-prediction, in which you think you are negative and that's how it will turn out, or because you feel depressed and think you won't change, or because reflection is full of negative feelings.
- Instead, try to focus on something positive in your life or change for the better.
- You can also fight this rumination by letting go of things that are out of your control, or thinking about the worst-case scenario and asking yourself if you can still survive the situation (the answer is likely to be yes, and this helps you not to think about it too much.).
- For example, imagine that you don't like something you can't change about yourself, like your height. You can release these thoughts by reminding yourself, "Since I can't change my height, there's no point in thinking about it, I'd better focus on the things I can change, like my confidence or my sense of humor."
Step 3. Look to the future
Avoid taking too much time thinking about the past because the past is past. If you are angry over a past action or event, you can ask yourself how to use that experience to improve it in the future, without dwelling on the past. Instead, try to create the future you want.
- Try to remind yourself that any great opportunity you missed in the past is no longer important because there are other opportunities.
- Also, remember that the past is something you cannot change, but you can change your future. Doesn't it make much more sense to think about what you can change than what you can't?
Step 4. Cultivate gratitude
This gratitude includes being grateful for and acknowledging that there are still good things outside of ourselves. Practicing gratitude has good effects on your physical and mental health and can improve your relationships. All of these can help you improve your attitude towards life. To cultivate gratitude, you can:
- keep a diary and jot down a few things you are grateful for each day,
- write and send your gratitude letter to someone,
- focuses on the person's intentions, not the results seen.
Step 5. Practice mindfulness
Being fully aware means keeping awareness of the thoughts, feelings, senses, and situations around you in the moment, and then accepting them without judgment. Research shows that practicing mindfulness can lead to better physical and mental health conditions, and can lead people to be more compassionate in society. All of this is important in an effort to improve self-attitude. To practice mindfulness, you can:
- pay attention to your surroundings,
- listen to the sound of your breath,
- focus carefully on the sensations received by your senses of sight, smell, hearing, etc., as well as what you experience.
- accept your thoughts and feelings without judging them, that is, by acknowledging that they are real, then moving on to other thoughts or feelings.
Step 6. Volunteer and help others
Research shows that helping others, by volunteering, can help develop a positive self-image. This may be because helping others gives you a feeling that you are worthy and successful.
Do an online search or browse the local paper to find ways to get involved in projects in your community
Step 7. Accept your body shape
People are always bombarded by media messages about the image of the ideal body that is not real. You will find it increasingly difficult to accept your body shape. Accepting and loving yourself is an important part of improving your attitude towards life. To better accept your body, you can:
- Stop dieting and eat normally. With dieting, you tell yourself through your behavior that something is wrong with you and needs to be fixed. Instead of dieting, eat normally, eat only when you are hungry, eat a balanced diet, and exercise to be healthy.
- Focus on yourself as a whole, not just your appearance. Remember that you are a unique individual who is more than just your body shape. You have a unique personality, mind, life history, and way of looking at the world (this is your attitude!).
- Respect the appearance of others. If you find yourself judging others negatively because of how they look, you're likely judging yourself too. Try to accept the other person as a unique individual and remember that appearances can be self-evaluating but your impression may not necessarily be true of that other person.
