Improving your life is a process of getting to know yourself, the details of your life, your specific environment, your life goals and aspirations, and your motivation to continue striving for a full and healthy life. Life is a journey, and one way to improve it is to accept that there are things you can't control. What you can control is your behavior, perspective, resilience, emotional health, and how you choose to react to situations in life. Improving life is always a process that is not simple.
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Method 1 of 5: Knowing Yourself
Step 1. Accept your internal control
Internal control is how you view yourself in relation to the events in your life and your behavior towards those situations. Strong internal self-control means that you are in charge of things in life, and are ready to be able to handle any problems or difficulties that may come your way. To improve your life, strengthen your internal control.
- On the other hand, if your external control is strong, you will feel that bad things keep happening, think of yourself as a victim of circumstances, and that you are unable to cope with challenging events.
- An easy example is to imagine that you are in a motorcycle accident, with no one injured, and you and the driver of the other car are both at fault. If you are internally control oriented, you will accept the situation, feel confident that you can cope with the consequences, and are able to handle it (even if the circumstances are challenging). If your orientation is toward external control, you will think things like, “Why does this always happen to me? Nothing ever goes according to plan. I always mess things up. The world never supports me, no matter what I do.”
Step 2. Determine where to orient your controls
There is an online true/false test, which you can take and score in ten minutes to tell you your self-control tendencies. Take this test and determine your score. This way, you know where you stand so you can begin to understand the appropriate approach to life.
Understanding yourself and your ability to handle adversity will help you to start changing behaviors in your life to be more positive and empowered
Step 3. Know why you need to change
Feeling unable to control yourself or life can result in feelings of stagnation, depression, helplessness, and loss of hope. How can you improve your life if you are stuck in this way? Do you live life or let it consume you? Most people tend to have a negative view of themselves when life isn't going the way they imagined. This reaction is normal, but that doesn't mean you can't change it.
Step 4. Start a change journal
Once you know your self-control tendencies and why you should change them, start writing about a more internal and empowered approach to life. Write down recent examples in your life that made you feel angry or disappointed, such as exams at school, work performance, self-esteem in relationships, or general success and ability to overcome adversity in life. Write down all the examples you can think of that trigger feelings of worry, anxiety, anger, or guilt. Then, write down your natural reactions to these things next to them. Write down as many examples as you can think of, real or imaginary, as well as your honest thoughts and reactions when these things happened.
For example, people often feel stressed about work performance and study. Write, "If I fail this exam, I'm a loser and a fool. This test may be unfair and I don't have enough time to study. I can't do it." These are statements that help you to suppress a sense of responsibility for the actual test results. This way, you can begin to access your feelings and change them
Step 5. Reframe your thoughts
Start making changes to a more empowered outlook on life by using a journal. The power of words will help you see the choices available about how to view life. Recognizing this choice and keeping the power within you to live life from your perspective and outlook can help to improve your life. Begin to reframe your reactions from a positive perspective of choice, empowerment, and self-worth, using the feelings you've written in your journal. Master choices, timing, consequences, and be realistic about your role as a person in the things that happen in life.
For example, you could write about an exam, “I didn't study much because I went to the movies. It does not matter. My test results weren't as good as I'd like, but next time I'll get better grades. I knew I should have done it more smoothly because I was able to develop better study habits and time management. I'm just a human who makes mistakes sometimes. There will be another test later, now is not the end of the world. I can talk to my teacher to see if there is anything else I can do to improve my grades.”
Step 6. Turn the negative things in life into positives
Begin to exercise this perspective of choice and empowerment in the real world. Improving life starts with an attitude of self and life. Listen to the way you talk to yourself when you're feeling down and sad. Use a journal to write down all the negative things that pop into your brain throughout the day. Set an alarm on your phone so that the message “Talk positively to yourself today” appears every hour. Make small posters that you can stick next to your bed, office wall, or tuck in your notebook that say "Only positive things to say to yourself are allowed."
- Take responsibility for how you treat yourself and talk to him. Feeling as though you have the right to improve will make a positive difference in your life.
- For example, you drop a plate and break it. Instead of thinking, "I'm so stupid and clumsy!", start changing toxic patterns like these and write positive reframing thoughts in a journal. You are not stupid and reckless, but just someone who can drop plates sometimes. Even in that simple statement, you are changing the responsibility from someone who is completely useless and can only break plates, to a person who is not always perfect and can make mistakes. You're really not as bad as you feel.
Step 7. Acknowledge your courage
Changing lives takes courage, and, even if you think you are a coward, you are actually a brave person. In a change journal, write down every time you felt brave in life. Write down all the times that confronted you with situations that seemed impossible to handle, or frightened, but that you survived. Appreciate your courage just for having managed to live in this world.
- For example, write about how you showed up at school to take an exam even though you failed. Sometimes, following something takes courage. Courage is not an easy talent to acquire, and it doesn't mean that you are free from fear. Courage means you know you are capable of facing fear and living.
- Try to be creative. Make a collage about your courage, write a poem about courage, or make a poster about all your courageous qualities.
Step 8. Realize that it takes time and effort
Improving your life doesn't mean you'll suddenly have a better life, with everything going smoothly and you just sailing through it feeling satisfied. Improving life takes courage. You must be able to change the feeling as if you are completely incapable of overcoming difficulties in life and are always at a dead end, so that you feel that you have healthy, resilient, and confident attitudes and behaviors. It is necessary to improve life.
You cannot change and predict life itself. Even the most mature plans can fail. However, you can change yourself and your outlook on events in life
Method 2 of 5: Knowing Yourself
Step 1. Self-identity analysis
Developing a healthy identity is an important step towards improving life. Who are you? Who do you want to be in this world? How do you view yourself? What do other people think of you? Exploring and changing your view of yourself and guessing what other people think is a very important factor. In this way, you can begin to change the real things in your behavior and the motivation you need to keep striving to improve your life.
Step 2. Take the Briggs, Meyers, & Jung personality test
To learn more about yourself, take the Briggs, Meyers, & Jung personality test. This test is a short questionnaire that can provide insight into the general components of a person's personality. This test uses common personality types to describe the group that fits you. Use the results to explore what feels right about you. In this way, you will understand some of the basic functions of your personality, which will help you in your efforts to improve your life. Self-awareness and understanding is the starting point for making positive changes in life.
This test is available online and free
Step 3. Focus on what you admire about yourself
Write down the qualities you admire about yourself in a change journal. Are you friendly? Can you make people laugh? Remember, intelligence comes in many forms and not just talking about academic things. Do you feel smart? Full of curiosity? Start with the positive aspects of who you are and use a journal to make a list of the things you really like about yourself.
- Don't limit yourself! Write down all the small and big things you like about yourself. Do you like your hair? Your fingers? Your voice or way of speaking? Your own style? You are a whole human being made up of many parts that you believe about yourself.
- Surprise yourself with how complex it really is and dig deep to discover different sides of yourself that you truly admire. Making positive changes in your life means finding your true self and appreciating it.
Step 4. Decide what you want to develop
After you've prepared a long list of things you like, make a list of things about your personality that you'd like to develop. Remember, change and development is something that must be fought for and will not happen overnight. Just because you write that you hate being temperamental doesn't mean you'll wake up the next day without it. Writing only helps to realize it. You cannot change or develop what you are not aware of.
- Don't be too hard on yourself when keeping a journal. Avoid black-and-white statements like “I'm stupid” or “I never do things right.” Stay focused on being an imperfect human being and making mistakes. Try thinking about your personality, for example by being less shy, being able to control your temper more, managing yourself, or being a better listener.
- Everyone has flaws, and part of the struggle to improve life is to see yourself and your personality as an ongoing effort to improve.
Step 5. Set small achievable targets
Once you know what you want to change, set small, reasonable goals that will help you change small parts of your personality. Focus on one trait at a time. For example, tell yourself that you will be listening actively, at least in a conversation today. Write down ways to actively listen in everyday interactions and implement them.
- At the end of the day, keep a journal about your experiences and responses. Were there moments of success? Have there been incidents where you didn't listen as well as you should? Keep a journal of how you feel while trying to change your personality.
- Start slowly, lest you be bothered by trying to change all at once or wanting perfection. Keep a positive view that change will eventually happen. The more proactive you are in creating a more rooted and full self, the more motivated you will be to continue to improve your life.
Step 6. Be grateful for who you really are
Take time each day to be grateful. Part of improving your life is knowing yourself, accepting your strengths and weaknesses, and feeling good about them. Accepting yourself can help you feel more confident about yourself, as well as about your life and the changes you want to make.
Step 7. Seek emotional support
If you're having trouble changing the way you think about yourself, find someone who can support you emotionally. This person may be a family member, friend, or coworker you trust. Educate yourself on ways to change negative thoughts about yourself.
If you feel as though you will be helped by a counseling session, find a counselor you feel comfortable with. If you're feeling too stressed about getting to know yourself better, learning about your options and emotions, you may need to see a therapist. Changing a life in any meaningful way is a challenging journey, and being strong also means you need to know when you can benefit from guidance and help
Method 3 of 5: Setting Short-Term Targets
Step 1. Analyze life
Once you get to know yourself, your personality, and your identity better, you can begin to see the real, pragmatic changes you want to make in your life. With a journal, make short-term goals that you can start changing quickly and long-term goals that may take more time and effort to achieve.
Only you know what you want in life and are able to make changes to improve it
Step 2. Improve physical health
One way to improve life is to regulate physical health. If the body feels better, so will the mind. Try to stay fit. Start with an exercise plan of running, walking, or engaging in physical activity three to five times a week. Add strength training to make yourself stronger. Also try to eat better foods to help improve your overall health.
If you smoke, try to quit. Smoking is bad for the health of yourself and others around you. Include things in your routine that can help you quit smoking, such as nicotine gum, gums, hot candy, steam cigarettes, or support groups
Step 3. Express yourself with physical appearance
If you're not happy with your personal style or physical appearance, make a plan to change it. Go for a new outfit or change your hairstyle to better suit your identity and how you feel about yourself. Start wearing things that make you happy and feel more comfortable. Wear cheerful accessories that add personality to your everyday look.
These can be small or gradual changes if you are not ready to change all at once. Do what feels right for you
Step 4. Improve your living conditions
Personal living conditions can be changed with a little effort. If you're prone to clutter, try cleaning your room, room, or house more often. A clean living area will make you feel better and in control of your life. Try cleaning your house more often in your daily routine, as a more organized and clean home can help you feel better and improve your life. If you're tired of old-fashioned designs in your living room, try decorating your room, house, or room in a way that makes you feel comfortable. Add pillows, change the color of the wall paint, or rearrange the furniture to make your area feel more self-sufficient.
- The environment has an effect on your general health and can be a creative channel for expressing the changes you are experiencing in your life.
- Try to be more environmentally friendly or reduce your carbon footprint. Use less electricity by turning off the lights, using less water in the shower, or trying to generate less waste in the environment where you live. Set up a recycling room in your home or office parking lot. This is an easy way to improve living conditions, but it also helps the environment.
Step 5. Get involved in the community
Feeling connected to other people can help you maintain a relationship with them and yourself, as well as help you learn about life and how you want to improve yourself. Volunteer at soup kitchens, homeless homes, animal shelters, or social food establishments. Most places require a little time commitment, sometimes just an hour a week or whatever you have.
Volunteering to help with a program you believe in is a great way to increase your sense of self-worth and strengthen feelings of self-empowerment, as you will be actively involved in helping others
Step 6. Develop new hobbies
If you want to improve your life, start developing a hobby or doing things you love. Take an art or dance class, start studying music, or take a class on a particular subject, such as wild birds. Read more books or visit a place you've been wanting to explore for a long time. Do whatever it takes, as long as it's what you really want.
Developing self-awareness can help you develop the motivation to continue your life-changing endeavors for the better
Method 4 of 5: Setting Long-Term Targets
Step 1. Change your job
Some targets are more long-term than others. If you are unhappy at work, think of ways to improve the situation. Think about all the other realistic career goals you can think of and try to reach them. If you like the profession but hate the specific situation you're in, think about how to get promoted or work for another company.
- If you want to do something different, get educated about what you really want to do, and take steps to achieve it.
- This will take time, so take it slow and make solid decisions that are financially smart. Remember, using short-term goals when trying to achieve change can help you achieve positive long-term results.
Step 2. Go back to school
Regardless of age, you can still learn new things and change careers and life paths. If there's something you've always wanted to learn, find classes that will suit you. If you need a degree for the career you want, look for an educational program that you can join in the current situation.
Believe in yourself and your ambitions. Make smart decisions based on research about the future and how further education will help you achieve these goals
Step 3. Work on your relationships
Look at the people in your life, social, family, and intimate, and determine if you are satisfied with them. Improving life also means surrounding yourself with people who share the same desire for a better, stronger, and fuller life. Take time, listen to how you feel when you are around close people. Make decisions that empower you to feel safe, positive, and emotionally healthy. Ask the people around you for help regarding your life changes and see how they react. This way, you can help determine which relationships are healthy and profitable in life.
Don't make hasty decisions about the people in your life. Think about each decision and how each relationship affects how you feel. If you are trying to change your life, you will need these people to support and empower you so that you can become the person you want to be. Focus on developing these types of relationships
Step 4. Evaluate your location
Determine if you are happy to live where you are now. Is there another place you'd like to live? A change of location can change your life and perspective, but it also requires planning, financial commitment, and determination. Moving may be a good thing, but it can also upset the balance of life and lead to things you didn't expect.
Get as much information as you can about the cost of living, job availability, consequences on life or family, and the pressures of moving to a new place before making a final decision
Method 5 of 5: Taking Care of Yourself
Step 1. Be aware of your feelings
Improving lives can be challenging. You have to take care of yourself and make sure you don't tire and give up on the journey. Appreciate yourself for daring to embrace the idea of change, especially since it's not easy. Learning about yourself and discovering the ability to be brave, responsible, and empowered is challenging. Being honest about your personality, not just how you see yourself, but how others think of you, can be emotionally exhausting. Making choices about what you want to change in your life can be scary. Change is exhausting.
Be proud of yourself for being able to try to improve your life. Life is complicated, and being proactive about who you are and what you are capable of takes strength
Step 2. Reduce stress in life
If you're feeling overwhelmed with all the changes you're making, take a break. Watch a movie or TV show, read a book, or play with friends. Take a walk with them to relax. Chat with friends who always make you laugh. Take a hot shower or shower to relieve some of the tension.
If desired, talk about the changes you are experiencing in yourself with friends and allow them to offer advice or support
Step 3. Stay calm
There are times in the day that it may feel overwhelming. When this happens, remember to breathe. Take ten minutes each day to sit down. Place both hands on your stomach and inhale and release all tension and change as you exhale. Remember, changing your life doesn't mean being perfect. Every day is a journey, and even days where you feel stagnant and frustrated are still part of the struggle for a better life.
Step 4. Give yourself a gift
As you thrive through life changes, take the time to reward yourself. Eat your favorite candy, go out or cook yourself a delicious meal. Buy a t-shirt, video game, or other gift you've been wanting for a long time. Try to remember that you are on a journey, and that you are great at being able to continue on. Reward yourself for taking on challenges to improve your life.
