Have you ever looked back over the last weeks, months, or years and noticed ongoing problems or mistakes that kept popping up in your life? Have you ever been stuck in a rut and didn't know how to end it? You are not alone. Everyone must have made mistakes, whether due to lack of experience, lack of self-awareness, or lack of advisors or mentors who can help direct us on the right path. But the good thing is, this mistake in your life doesn't have to happen again. You have the power to change yourself and live and learn from mistakes when they happen.
Method 1 of 3: Finding Out What Makes You Happy
Step 1. Find out your passion
By living the life you love, you don't have to fix things. If you're not feeling very excited right now, go back to ground zero and find out what you should be doing to have a fulfilling and happy life. Take paper and pencil and complete the exercise below. Answer the following questions on your paper:
- Why are you here? Think about your current purpose in life and the variables that played a role in getting you to where you are now.
- Make a list of 20-50 things that make you happy.
- What's the best thing that ever happened to you?
- Name five things you like about yourself.
- Write down three traits or characteristics that other people use to describe you.
- What is your dream?
- After answering all the questions above, relate them all. How do you align your current goals to make your dreams come true? How can you be surrounded by happy things? How can you get others to see your positive qualities or abilities?
Step 2. Think about when and how you might have lost your passion
Once you understand the things that make you happy, think about life and try to figure out what makes you lose your passion.
- For example, sometimes we have goals and ideals that are not in line with the goals of our parents or family. We may let go of the desire to please others. Maybe doing this can make us feel happy for a while, but eventually become unhappy because our main desire is not satisfied.
- Think of another possibility: Maybe before college you had a passion for helping others. But once you graduate and enter the hectic world of work, you lose that passion because you have to make money and pay all the bills.
Step 3. Don't underestimate the community's values and find your optimal position within it
This will bring you into the cycle of success as you will be attuned to the maximum benefit you can bring in life both socially and morally. Prioritize usefulness over busyness.
Step 4. Prioritize your passions and values wherever life takes you
As you may have guessed, you lose passion when you start prioritizing other passions or less important aspects of your life, over what makes you truly happy. You can fix this. When you prioritize the positive or plan your day to be filled with things that naturally evoke positive emotions, you are more likely to feel positive more often. Research shows that this way of prioritizing positive waves is more effective than the constant pursuit of happiness.
- Take a look at the list of things that can make you happy. Think of ways to be more proactive and incorporate some of these things or activities into your daily life. That way, every chance you get, you can do activities that can bring happiness and peace of mind.
- For example, if you like nature, you can schedule a morning or evening walk with your dog, partner, or friend.
Step 5. Enjoy the moment
Live in the present, not in the past or future. Regretting the past or worrying about the future will only keep you from enjoying the present. Be proactive in making yourself happy by focusing on the present.
Take some time each day and try to focus on your surroundings. Take a few deep breaths of relief. Think about the environment and physical sensations around you. What do you see, smell, or hear? How does your body feel? Continue to breathe deeply while observing everything that is happening right now
Method 2 of 3: Evaluating What Needs to Change
Step 1. Just relax
Improving an entire life is a grueling project. Understand that meaningful change cannot be implemented overnight. Changing just one bad habit can be very difficult. Don't be discouraged if you can only take small steps.
- Remember, the first step to meaningful change is knowing where the problem lies. Being yourself and being aware of your habits is a great way to deal with problems.
- To build confidence in this life improvement project, start small. Choose one thing you want to improve at a time. Focus on it until it changes, then work on other things. You'll see that positive changes made in the first place can trigger other things without much effort.
Step 2. Watch for problematic behavior patterns
In order to improve your life, you must observe the factors that keep you stuck in this habit. It's hard to admit that we are the ones who block ourselves from achieving happiness. However, acknowledging this can give you strength, because only you can make changes and improve your life. Think about what behaviors you frequently engage in that make you feel dissatisfied with life.
People who are always unhappy generally have a similar habit. These habits include:
- Always put yourself as a victim.
- Using alcohol, drugs, food, sex, or other addictive behaviors to solve problems.
- Feeling powerless to change their emotional state.
- Ignoring health.
- Have an unstable relationship.
Step 3. Ask yourself if your thoughts are making you sad
It's normal to have negative thoughts at some point in your life. But if you always feel disappointed with life, maybe your mindset is at the root of the problem. What goes on in your head all day will have the power to debilitate and leave you feeling powerless to improve your life. The following are 8 negative thought patterns of people who always feel unhappy. Do you feel any of the following?
- Words that show you've given up before the match: “I can't afford…” or “I'm not that good…”
- Regretting the past in a negative way: Recalling or reminiscing about a bad or sad event that has happened in your life.
- Always looking forward to the worst: Viewing all situations negatively or looking at life with a pessimistic attitude.
- Underestimating yourself over others: Always looking at other people as more attractive, richer, or having a better life.
- Always position yourself as a victim: View yourself as weak or incapable of handling difficult people or situations.
- Can't forgive yourself: Wallowing with guilt over past mistakes.
- Blame: Blaming others for your misfortune.
- Extreme fear of failure or making mistakes: Setting unreasonably high standards or being too perfectionist.
Step 4. Check your relationship
If you're not happy with your current life, check your social circle. Ideally, you are surrounded by positive, uplifting people who value your value as a person. Such relationships are important for bringing happiness into life. But if a relationship drains you, demotivates you, or causes you to continue unhealthy habits, then you should reevaluate the relationship.
If you're an adult, then you also have to share responsibility for your role in this toxic relationship. Regardless of what you believe in, you have the power to let go. So if you choose to stay in such a relationship, you must be aware that by doing so, you are at the expense of your own well-being
Method 3 of 3: Making Healthy Changes
Step 1. Improve physical health
Ignoring health will make it difficult for you to enjoy life. Improper eating and sleeping patterns and physical inactivity will lead to poor physical condition and obesity. Ignoring health can also lead to depression, anxiety, and even premature aging. Make positive changes to your health to improve your well-being and life satisfaction. Try to do the following things:
- Eat a balanced diet.
- Get regular exercise and sleep.
- Maintain a healthy weight.
- Quit smoking.
- Limit alcohol consumption.
- Have regular medical check-ups with the doctor.
Step 2. Seek psychological help for addictive behavior
Drug abuse, gambling or sex addiction may be very difficult to overcome without professional help. Take the first step to get rid of this unhealthy behavior by consulting a psychologist.
Step 3. Develop a positive attitude
If you wake up every morning thinking that life sucks, then over time you will believe it. Change the way you view the world and live by making these small changes:
- Congratulate yourself on every success (however small it is). Be the biggest fan for yourself. Instead of saying "I can't," always say "I can."
- Be patient. You create a self-fulfilling prophecy when expecting maximum results on an unrealistic time frame. Give your life time to stabilize. Focus on the positive changes you make each day.
Step 4. Pay attention to the way you think
Negative thoughts will produce a negative mood as well, while positive thoughts will lead to a positive mood. Take notes when negative thoughts occur and work to change these thoughts into something more realistic and positive. Change your mind by doing the following:
- Listen to negative or debilitating thoughts by monitoring your own thoughts.
- When you have negative thoughts, turn them into more realistic or helpful statements. For example, "The interview is messed up! I'm not getting this job!" could be changed to "I'll only know the results of the interview in a few days. Who knows I'm better than I thought. I'll have to be patient and wait."
Step 5. Be grateful
Instead of focusing on mistakes or things you don't like in life, be grateful for the things that make you feel lucky, such as having a home to live in, friends who care about you, and a comfortable job.
Keep a gratitude journal. It could be a traditional journal or a smartphone app. Commit to writing down the things you are grateful for several times each week. These could include: something you thought would be a disaster that day, but it wasn't; something you can't live without; or people who have been very helpful to you
Step 6. Take care of yourself
Take regular breaks. Life will feel unsatisfactory if we only spend every second to keep racing against time. Schedule time for yourself and do something that gives you peace.
Keeping your mind healthy will support emotional health. Try to do activities that reduce stress every day. These activities can include reading novels, playing with pets, meditating, doing yoga, or painting
Step 7. Develop a strong support system
Try to maintain healthy interactions with people who make you feel happy about yourself and your life. If you don't have that many people right now, go and find them. You can connect with new people in a variety of ways, through work, school, religious communities, volunteer work, or in certain clubs and hobby groups. Get out of your comfort zone and have a conversation with someone you normally see on a daily basis but don't know very well.
- Think about what you might do if you believe your business will succeed. If you believe the end result of all your efforts will be successful, then you will try more ways. Face every new challenge with this perspective and you'll try things you might never expect.
- Focus on small, short-term goals that you can achieve quickly. You will feel a sense of success with each of these goals and your momentum will build.
- Think of it as a big adventure. Concentrate on enjoying the journey, and your destination will reveal itself.
- All of this will be difficult, but you have to believe that lifting yourself up from the hole into the light will be the best thing you'll ever do.
- If you are negative, chances are you are surrounded by negative friends too. They may find it difficult to accept and adjust to the positive changes you are making. Give them time and try to introduce them to your new and more positive mindset. If they can't accept your changes or are trying to bring you down, you should consider making new friends and leaving them, just like leaving any other negative things in your life.