Remember, sexuality is a very personal issue. That's why other people's sexual preferences are a privacy that you should respect! While asking for this information on an ongoing basis is rude behavior, you can still implicitly identify the other person's sexual orientation, especially if you are interested in dating them or want to show moral support as one of their closest people. Feeling nervous about having to communicate your curiosity honestly and openly? Try making more implicit observations of his behavior. However, understand that you still need to communicate with him to confirm these assumptions. If you're interested in dating her, try asking her out first so you have a chance to get to know her better.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Observing His Behavior
Step 1. Listen to how he comments on other people's appearances
People who have a homosexual or bisexual orientation have a tendency to notice and comment on their same-sex appearance. Therefore, pay more attention to the gender that is more often the focus. Also, consider the comments he makes, such as how he thinks about a person's appearance.
- For example, your guy friend might say, "You saw that guy's stomach muscles, didn't you?" or “Crazy, he looks really cool in a suit!”
- Remember, these conditions can not be used as the only benchmark to identify sexual orientation!
Step 2. Consider the people she has liked and past relationships
It is possible that he has a gay or even bisexual orientation, but is not ready to admit it in front of everyone. However, one of the benchmarks that confirms that his orientation is heterosexual is when he has ever had an attraction to the opposite sex. Therefore, try to remember the people he generally dates, likes, or compliments.
For example, a man who likes to date women may indeed have a heterosexual orientation, although the possibility of bisexuality will always exist
Step 3. Pay special attention if she never mentions the gender of the people she likes or dates
People who date or like the same sex may constantly use the pronoun “he” to describe their partner. In other words, he won't name his partner or share any other information that would allow you to identify the gender. If he keeps using these pronouns and seems mysterious about the identity of the person he likes or is dating, try bringing up the topic of sexual identity in front of him.
- For example, he might say, “My date was really successful last night. He's really interesting, and I hope someday he'll want to date me again, anyway!”
- However, he may be doing it because his partner asked him to. Therefore, do not assume before you communicate with him!
Step 4. Pay special attention if he never mentions his love life
Most likely, people who still hide their sexual identity will find it difficult to talk about their love life, especially because they are not ready if their sexual orientation is realized by others. Therefore, try to open up your love life to him, then ask him to do the same. If he's not willing or not ready to do it, don't force him!
- You can say, "I'm with a guy right now. It seems that the future of our relationship is quite bright. How's your love life?"
- Again, this cannot be used as your sole benchmark.
Step 5. Don't make assumptions based on how you look, dress, or even sound
In the past, people believed in the myth that gay people could be easily recognized by their face, style of dress, way of walking, or voice. Unfortunately, the myth is not true because homosexuals and heterosexuals actually do not have specific physical or non-physical characteristics. Ignore the misleading stereotypes you see in the media!
- For example, a heterosexual man can also paint his nails. In addition, a heterosexual woman can also cut her hair really short!
- In addition, there are also heterosexual men who have a high voice as well as heterosexual women who can speak low and deep.
Method 2 of 3: Communicating With Him
Step 1. Bring up the topic of sexuality to open a conversation
For example, you could mention books, movies, television series, or current events that deal with the issue of sexuality. Then, share your positive views on those things, and listen for feedback.
You could say, "I really like Taylor Swift's new music video for 'You Need to Calm Down!' Because of that, I'm wearing a rainbow bracelet, you know, today. What do you think?"
Step 2. Show your support for the LGBTQ+ community
If you have publicly acknowledged your sexual identity, show how proud you are of that identity. If you're pro to the LGBTQ+ community, feel free to point it out, then observe the response.
Tell him, “I confessed my sexual identity to my family last year. Seriously, that's really hard! But I'm happy that I can be honest with everyone, and I'm proud of who I am,” or “I think it's important for everyone to feel accepted. That's why I'm very pro with the LGBTQ+ community. If we can all work together, I believe real change can happen.”
Step 3. Ask him directly if he doesn't seem to mind talking about it
If the person seems interested in talking about LGBTQ+ issues, he or she will likely not be offended by receiving a direct question about their sexual identity. Therefore, do not hesitate to ask questions in a straightforward and clear manner, and respect any response, even if he refuses to give an answer.
Try asking, "Have you ever questioned your sexuality?" or “Ever identified yourself as gay, didn't you?”
Step 4. Allow him to admit his sexual identity at a time that is convenient for him
Remember, the identity or sexual orientation of others is none of your business! If he doesn't want to tell you, don't force him. On the other hand, if you believe that he is gay, don't tell anyone, including him. He has the right to decide who can hear his confession!
- Don't force anyone to share if they're not ready to do it.
- If a friend brings up the topic in front of you, try to answer, "If you're curious, why don't you ask him yourself?"
Step 5. Don't ask other people about their sexual identity
If you can't ask him that question, don't bring up the topic in front of other people! Remember, this is gossiping behavior and may give rise to rumors that are not true. Therefore, never mention his sexual identity in front of others!
For example, don't ask a friend, "You don't think Todd is gay, do you?"
Method 3 of 3: Ask Her On A Date
Step 1. Take her out as a friend if you are interested in dating her
If you're interested in dating her, this method will most likely feel like a throwback, right? However, understand that this is actually the perfect way to get to know him better and identify his interest in dating you. Invite him to do activities together as friends, and use the opportunity to build the foundation of a romantic relationship.
Try asking, "Do you want to play mini golf on Friday?" or “I hear you like to watch live music concerts, don't you? Want to watch this local band with me?”
Step 2. Get to know him better by spending more time with him
In other words, get him to do more things together so you can get to know his personality better. Also, don't hesitate to call or text regularly to nurture your relationship. While all these steps are done, try to gradually reveal your sexual identity and listen to his response.
- Invite him to do various things that are intimate, such as having dinner together, watching a movie at the cinema, or playing bowling together.
- Try saying, “I realized I was a lesbian when I was 12, exactly when I had a crush on a girl in dance class. Have you ever liked a girl?"
Step 3. Seduce him after your relationship is getting closer
Start by giving a simple compliment to observe the response. If his reaction looks positive, try giving him a cute nickname. If the reaction still seems positive, try getting closer physically to him.
You can say, “You look great today! That shirt fits you perfectly, you know,” or “I always smile every time I see you walk into the room.”
Warning:
Make sure you respect her boundaries and back off immediately if she seems stiff, uncomfortable, withdraws, or has her arms crossed over her chest.
Step 4. Ask her out if she feels the idea is acceptable to her
Once you get to know him better, try to identify his interest in dating someone with the same sexual identity. If he seems interested in doing so, feel free to ask him out in person, via text message, or through romantic body language.
- Try saying, “I really love spending time with you! Do you think you want to date me? If you don't, that's fine, I'm already quite happy to be your friend."
- You can also send a text message that says, “Getting to know you over the past few months has been really fun for me. You want to officially date me, don't you? If not, we can still play games together, right?"
- Or, you could send flowers with a note that says, “Want to date me? If you want, send a picture of the flowers I sent, okay? Otherwise, just forget about my invitation and we can still be friends as usual.”
Step 5. Respond to rejection by celebrating your strengths as a human being and strengthening connections with those closest to you
In fact, the possibility of someone to develop an attraction to people who do not like it will always exist. Although everyone must have experienced it, it does not mean the pain that arises will decrease in intensity. If you often feel hurt because the people you like always have different sexual orientations, always remember that the rejection is not because of you. Therefore, there is no need to doubt your uniqueness as a human being! Always remember that you are someone who deserves love from others, then spend more time with those closest to you to improve your confidence and your mood.
Don't be afraid to reconnect with other people! Get out of your comfort zone and meet new people. Sooner or later, you will be able to find an attractive and better person
Tips
- Because sexuality is a spectrum, sometimes a person does not want to be trapped in a homosexual or heterosexual orientation. This condition is very reasonable! Don't force him to put himself in one particular group.
- Whatever information you get, don't treat it any differently! Remember, he's still the same person you knew before.
- Remember, no one has to admit their sexual orientation to you, not even your best friend. Respect everyone's needs and preferences!
Warning
- If a friend admits to being gay to you, don't bombard him with personal questions. Instead, let him pass on the information he's ready to tell.
- If someone is willing to reveal their sexual identity to you, it doesn't mean they will feel comfortable having the information known to other people. Therefore, do not share the confession with anyone so that he or she does not get caught in an uncomfortable or even dangerous situation.
- Never try to change someone's sexual identity, and never point to the condition as a mistake. Respect their identity if you really care about them.
- It could be that he will be angry because your attitude is too curious.
