Obsessing about something is like having a narrow view, you are no longer able to see or care about anything other than the object of the obsession. Obsessions have become part of everyday life and can be linked to fear. This is different from dependence because the sufferer is never satisfied except by obeying his heart's desires. Controlling your obsessions isn't easy, but once you know how to stop following your obsessions and shift your energy to new people and interests, you'll be free. Check out the steps below so that obsessions no longer dominate your thoughts and actions.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Freeing Your Mind
Step 1. Take a distance from the source of your obsession
When you're obsessed with someone or something, closeness will make it harder for you to think about anything else. The closer you are, the harder it is to stop thinking about it. The physical distance between you and the object of your obsession will also help you mentally distance yourself. It's hard at first, but you'll soon feel the grip of the obsession weaken, little by little.
- Obsession with someone is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. You should limit contact with him. Divert your attention to something else, find a way to pay attention to something else or more meaningful.
- Maybe you're obsessed with a certain time-filling activity, like your favorite video game. If so, keep the game out of your sight by removing it from your computer or giving your console to a friend for a while until your obsession fades away.
Step 2. Stop following the obsession
Indulging in an obsession can give you a burst of pleasure, so it can be really hard to stop. Just thinking about the source of your obsession can strengthen its grip on you. In order to be controlled, you have to ignore it. For example, if you're obsessed with a celebrity, stop talking about him or her with your friends. Stop looking at his Twitter page and don't imagine dating him anymore. The more space in the brain that is used to think about it, the faster the obsession will overtake you.
- Quitting indulging in obsessions is no easy task. You may feel like you're in a mental game, like convincing yourself to look at his Facebook page one last time before quitting. But if you really want to get rid of an obsession, you have to stop just when you feel the urge to indulge.
- Sometimes an obsession is so strong that it persists even when you try hard to ignore it. No matter how hard you try, your mind keeps coming back to it. If so, don't be too hard on yourself. You can still beat the obsession, but it will take more time.
Step 3. Divert your attention from obsessive thoughts
Quitting obsessive thoughts is easier said than done. If thinking about or talking about your favorite topics makes you happy, why stop? Keep in mind why you want to control this obsession, so you can look behind the excitement and enjoy the other things life has to offer. When obsessive thoughts arise, prepare positive distractions so you don't fall into the same hole again. Here are some ways you can try to distract yourself:
- Do physical activities that also occupy the mind. Running and walking may not be the best diversions because you have plenty of time to think about your obsessions. Try rock climbing, cave exploring, or competing in a team sport that engages both body and mind.
- Fiction is also great for distracting. Read a new book or watch a movie on a theme that has nothing to do with your current obsession.
- Meanwhile, if your mind starts to wander and you need an immediate distraction, try playing some blaring music, calling a friend (to talk about something other than an obsession), reading an interesting news article or getting back to work.
Step 4. Focus on what you've been ignoring
When you have an obsession, you usually don't have time for other things, such as achieving work, cultivating relationships, and exploring interests outside of the obsession. Once you start devoting your time to other things in life, there won't be much time left to think about obsessions.
- One way to get over your obsession is to fix the relationship you've been neglecting for so long. Your friends and family will surely love your return, and with them there will be new and exciting ideas, problems, and drama to keep you busy. Thinking of new things instead of obsessive thoughts can be fun.
- Many people think that immersing themselves in work can stop obsessive thoughts. Whatever you do, dedicate your best effort.
Step 5. Learn to enjoy the moment
Are you a dreamer? You can spend hours thinking about someone or something that is the object of your obsession. But if you sit in one place and your mind wanders in another direction, you will miss what is right in front of your eyes. When you're ready to give up your obsession, learn to exercise sensitivity. This means that you must be sensitive to where you are in the present, not dwelling on the past or the future.
- Engage your senses and really feel what's going on around you. What are you smelling, seeing, hearing and feeling right now? Pay attention to what is happening right in front of you, don't think about anything else all the time.
- Listen to the person talking to you. Allow yourself to be absorbed in the conversation instead of just nodding casually while your head is clouded with fog.
- If you can help, prepare a mantra to say when you start to feel your mind turning toward obsession. Repeat simple mantras like “breathe”, “think of the present”, or “I'm here”, so you may be able to direct your mind to the present moment.
Step 6. Undergo cognitive behavioral therapy
This type of therapy recognizes that there may be no way to stop thinking obsessions, but works by weakening the bond between obsessive thoughts and everyday triggers. This will make it easier for you to go about your daily activities and think about and do many things. Obsessions will be easier to control.
Cognitive behavioral therapy can also be used to develop words or actions that can "break" obsessive thoughts and allow you to focus on something else
Part 2 of 3: Forming New Habits
Step 1. Strengthen your relationships with others
If you're obsessed with one particular person, you can make a difference by spending time with other people. All the energy you used to pour into obsessions will now be devoted to getting to know other people. You can take classes, hang out with fellow dog lovers, or get to know your current friends better. Getting closer to other people will help you realize that there's more in this world than the person you've been obsessed with.
- Don't compare new people to people you're obsessed with. Try to enjoy each person's unique characteristics, don't compare them to one person's character.
- Meeting new people can still be helpful even if your obsession isn't human. New people will introduce you to ideas and perspectives you've never seen before.
Step 2. Dive into a new interest
"Trying something new" may seem like a cliché solution to every problem, but it's considered cliche because it actually works. Learning a new skill or improving your ability in a new activity can awaken your brain and create a change in your perspective so that you will break out of bad habits. Prove that the obsession can't control you by devoting time to anything else that's unrelated to the obsession.
- For example, if you're obsessed with someone who absolutely hates going to art museums and watching independent films, now's your chance to do all the activities you've been avoiding for the sake of that person.
- If you're obsessed with a certain subject, try learning something else that's completely different.
Step 3. Make changes to your daily routine
If your obsession is partially reinforced by a habit, such as taking the route that passes through your ex-boyfriend's house every day, it's time to make a change. Reflect on what habits need to be changed because they keep you obsessed. Maybe you will find the answer right away. Make a serious effort to change your routine. It's hard at first, but soon you'll feel the power of the obsessive thoughts diminish. Here are examples of changes that can help change your mental state:
- Take a different route to work or school.
- Work out at another gym or at another time so you don't run into the person in question.
- Instead of going straight to the internet right after you wake up to check your email and visit your favorite sites, start the day by meditating, jogging, or walking your dog.
- Go to another hangout on the weekends.
- Listen to other music while you work
Step 4. Change your life
If you're tired of how strongly your obsessions control your thoughts and habits, take control by making some personal changes. It may sound drastic, but sometimes you have to change something to show that you are capable. Choose something that symbolizes your obsession and make changes to create a new and different impression.
- Maybe for you this means changing your appearance. If your hair is usually long because the object of your obsession is long hair, change your hairstyle. Cut hair to be short and fashionable, a model that has absolutely nothing to do with the object of obsession.
- If you keep visiting the same sites over and over again, maybe now you need to change the layout of your room or office. Rearrange the furniture and buy some new furniture. Clean your desk and decorate it with new photos or knick-knacks. Get rid of everything that reminds you of what you don't want to think about, and color your life with something else that reminds you to live the real life.
Step 5. Talk to a therapist
Sometimes obsessions are so deeply rooted and powerful that it is impossible to get rid of them by one's own efforts. If you seem out of control and your obsession is affecting your ability to feel happy, make an appointment with a therapist. A professional counselor will provide you with the tools you can use to restore your control over your own mind and life.
If your thoughts keep repeating themselves and won't go away or if you have to repeat the same ritual over and over again, you may have an anxiety disorder called obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD. If this is the case, you should seek help so that you can receive therapy and treatment for OCD
Part 3 of 3: Turning Obsessions Into Something Positive
Step 1. Turn your obsession into something productive
Not all obsessions are bad, in fact many people devote their lives to finding “passion”, the one thing that is ingrained in them to keep learning and working harder. If obsession gives you a goal, you're in luck. For example, if your life is devoted to astronomy, you may devote time to reading and studying astronomy until the obsession turns into a successful career.
- Even if your obsession doesn't lead to a prestigious title like a PhD in astronomy, you can still channel it into something productive. Maybe you're obsessed with celebrity gossip and can't stop reading the gossip tabloids. Why don't you start a gossip blog or Twitter account as a means of sharing your knowledge in that regard?
- You can also use obsessions as motivation to improve yourself. If you are obsessed with someone who never pays attention to you, you may decide to change the bad habits that are blocking you from his sight. Use obsessions as an excuse to get up early so you can run before work, or read through all the material so you can say something smart in class.
Step 2. Make the object of your obsession creative inspiration
If your obsession is human, you can use your energy to create something beautiful. Some of history's finest works, such as writing, art, and music, have their roots in obsession. If there's someone you're always thinking about, put that one-sided feeling into a poem, song, or painting.
Step 3. Hang out with people who share the same obsession
Obsession may seem like a problem until you find a group of people who like the exact same thing. Whatever the object of your obsession, chances are you are not alone. Find other people who also like the same thing, then share information and stories with each other. Chances are there are other people who share the same obsession, of any kind, whether they're big fans of the soccer team, can't stop watching any movie or series starring their favorite actress, or playing games all night long.
Step 4. Don't let obsessions limit your world
An obsession will only become a problem when it begins to drain all of your time and energy without leaving any for anything else. Only you know when obsession has crossed the line. If the object of your obsession makes you happy and you still have time for other activities and social relationships, there may be nothing wrong with letting the obsession become a part of your life. But if you're feeling limited, try to stop indulging your senseless obsession and give yourself a chance to enjoy something else.
Tips
- Try something new to take your mind off your obsession, like hanging out, reading a book, or maybe learning to play an instrument.
- Don't just get rid of it, deal with it.
- Do it slowly if necessary. You are not required to stop the obsession suddenly.
- Don't be afraid or embarrassed.
- Take this obsession as a challenge and beat it
