Just as you try to like him, you want your boyfriend's mother to like you. Maybe you're meeting her for the first time and are afraid you won't be able to impress her. You may have met him before and need to try again to impress him after a certain problem occurs. Show a good attitude, ability to interact, and your concern. That way, you can build a good relationship with your boyfriend's mother.
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Method 1 of 4: Making a Good First Impression
Step 1. Do your job
Ask your boyfriend to tell you about his mother. Find out about her background, hobbies, suggested topics of conversation, things to avoid, and anything else you can learn about her. Prepare for your first meeting by understanding the things you need to know. Here are some things you can find out about his mother:
- His place
- His current (or past) job
- Hobbies and interests
- His favorite food (if you plan to eat together at the first meeting)
- Conversation topics that shouldn't be brought up (don't talk about dogs if they recently lost their favorite pet)
Step 2. Greet him warmly
Say hello with a sweet smile and friendly tone of voice. Make eye contact when greeting him. Don't look at the floor or avoid his gaze. Shake her hand (or even give her a hug if she usually hugs other people when you meet them), but don't force yourself to do something you don't like.
Step 3. Bring a small gift
You don't need to buy a fancy gift, or something too personal. If you bring food, make sure the mother does not have an allergy to the food you prepare. Here are some suggestions of gifts you can bring:
- Flower
- Chocolate or candy
- A bottle of wine (ask your boyfriend in advance if his mother enjoys drinking)
- Typical food from your hometown
- Homemade cake
- Homemade crafts (if you like to be creative or create art)
Step 4. Pay attention to your appearance
Wear appropriate clothing. You really can't hide who you are, but it's a good idea to wear more closed and polite clothes when you first meet her mother. However, don't feel like you're faking it or hiding your personality. If you're proud of your tattoos, you don't have to hide them. However, try to show your best appearance.
- Wear simple, light makeup.
- Make sure your hair doesn't cover or stick to your face. You will look more confident.
Step 5. Show courtesy
A good attitude is not always easy to remember, but a bad attitude is usually more difficult to forget. Smile, be polite, and make sure you follow good eating habits. Don't chew food with your mouth open!
- Watch your words. The first meeting isn't the right time to show off your swearing skills in front of your boyfriend's mom!
- Give praise. You really shouldn't come across as insincere or try to curry favor with him, but sincere compliments thrown at the right time will be warmly appreciated. For example, if his mother has a beautiful house, you could compliment her taste and say, “I think Galih is also a good house decorator. He must have gotten that ability from Mother!”
Step 6. Don't show your affection in public
This is inappropriate when you first meet your boyfriend's parents. Remember that your intimacy can make their parents feel uncomfortable, just like when their parents show their affection in front of you. This is a good time to develop your relationship with his mother, and not your relationship with your boyfriend. Refrain from kissing each other for a few hours!
Step 7. Remember that even her mother may be nervous
He will meet his son's girlfriend and may also want to build a good impression in your eyes. Throw a smile and make him feel more comfortable and calm.
Method 2 of 4: Enjoying Chat
Step 1. Ask lots of questions
Usually, a person likes to talk about himself. Usually, the listener can build a better impression when he or she is able to give the other person lots of opportunities to share their story.
Find out his background and let him tell his favorite story. He will certainly feel happy to be able to retell his life story to new listeners
Step 2. Make sure you don't talk too much
When feeling nervous, a person tends to talk a lot. If you're one of them, find ways to keep yourself from talking too much.
- For example, you could ask your boyfriend to pay attention to the conversation, and give signals (eg coughing or tugging at his ear) if you start talking too much.
- You can also pay attention to gestures that indicate that the listener is starting to lose interest in your story (eg looking the other way). Also pay attention to gestures that indicate that the listener cannot understand what you are saying (eg opening your mouth to say something, and suddenly stopping).
Step 3. Find common ground
Learn about her hobbies early on through your boyfriend. If you and his mom have something in common, prepare some stories of your own.
- Do you two enjoy traveling? Let him share his tips with you, and ask him for advice. For example, you might say, “Mike told me that Mom went to Italy last year. I've never been there before. What cities did you visit?”
- If you both enjoy watching football games, chat about your favorite team or recent game.
Step 4. Be friendly and open
Now is not the time to arrange things. Try to keep the peace and make a positive impression.
- Discuss neutral topics. Now is not the time to discuss religion, politics, or your ex-boyfriend.
- Build a conversation out of statements you disagree with to keep the conversation going. Maybe you disagree when her mom says that “everyone is glued to their cell phones.” Instead of expressing your disagreement openly, you can say, “I always feel like I need my cell phone. There's a lot of information stored in it."
- Change the topic if you're afraid to start an argument with him.
Step 5. Ask him about your girlfriend
Happily, he will tell you a lot about him and in addition, you both have one thing in common!
- Ask him to tell you about your girlfriend's childhood.
- Ask about family traditions, such as holiday traditions and favorite recipes.
Step 6. Remember that he has known your girlfriend for a long time
Don't be pretentious about your boyfriend. He's known him your whole life, while you've probably only known him a few months.
- Don't correct what he says about your boyfriend's preferences. If his mother cooks scrambled eggs for him, while you know that he currently only likes floating eggs, say nothing. Let your girlfriend tell her mother.
- Keep yourself away from your boyfriend's relationship with his mother. They have their own relationship dynamics and their way of connecting with each other. You may not like the way his mom criticizes him, but in the end it's your boyfriend who gets to deal with it, not you.
Step 7. Pay attention to your sense of humor
Make sure the jokes you tell aren't meant for him and don't cross the line. You need to know his sense of humor and how far you can develop your jokes.
Avoid sex, religion, and political jokes. Jokes that are too sarcastic or demeaning to others won't impress him either
Method 3 of 4: Showing Attention
Step 1. Invite him to do activities together
Ask him to join you and your girlfriend for lunch, visit a museum, or try another activity (on a casual, non-romantic date). He may not always accept your invitations, but it sure is fun to get an invitation or invitation from someone!
Step 2. Think about it
Open your eyes and look for ways to further develop your relationship with him. For example, if he likes art and you see a particular exhibition, tell him about it.
Step 3. Keep talking about things you both share an interest in
He will appreciate your efforts to continue or develop a conversation in your relationship with him. Discuss what you can find in common, even simple things like television shows that you both enjoy.
For example, you could say, “Have you started watching OK-Jek yet? I guess I'll start watching again. Oh my, I miss watching it! Oh yes. Who is your favorite character in OK-Jek?”
Step 4. Ask him for advice
People love when they feel needed and useful. Identify his area of expertise and ask for help related to that area.
- For example, if he is good at baking, ask him to suggest easy recipes to learn so you can develop your skills.
- If he likes gardening, ask if you can see his garden and ask for suggestions on plants you can grow.
Step 5. Offer to help
Wash the dishes after you have dinner at his house, bring snacks when you are invited to eat together, or take out the trash. He may say that you don't need to do anything, and in a situation like this, just follow what he says.
If you're having trouble chatting with him, do small tasks so you can start chatting more easily
Step 6. Invite him to have dinner together
Invite her mother over to your house to have dinner with you and your boyfriend. You don't have to serve complicated food. In fact, you can order food from outside. However, show your efforts to build a comfortable and warm atmosphere for him.
Method 4 of 4: Getting Back the Receipt
Step 1. Deal with problems or tensions that have occurred
If you feel distant or cold in your relationship with your boyfriend's mother, chances are he feels it too. Don't let resentment build up between the two of you. After all, the two of you might be a part of each other's lives. Do your responsibility to solve the problem at hand.
For example, you could say, “Mom, I don't think our first meeting went well. I respect Mom and want to be on good terms. Can we try again?”
Step 2. Apologize
Take responsibility for your behavior. If you do something he doesn't like or accept, admit your mistake and ask for forgiveness from him. Make sure you're willing to acknowledge and acknowledge the hurt or anger you're triggering.
For example, “I know it's rude to make fun of the way Mom drives. I knew it wasn't funny and hurt Mom's feelings. I apologize."
Step 3. Make changes for the future
Determine what you can do to improve your relationship with your boyfriend's mother. Maybe you can change small behaviors, or something bigger.
- For example, if you were drunk and rude in front of him, don't drink alcohol again while you're with him. Try not to show a bad attitude.
- Maybe he tends to be picky about food and not really interested in your culinary skills (or your restaurant choices). It's also possible that she has an allergy to cats, while your beloved pussy jumps at her when she visits your house. His annoyance could have dissipated when he was in a more comfortable place.
Step 4. Talk to him separately
You may need to chat with him without your girlfriend present. That way, you two don't have to make your boyfriend choose one side.
Step 5. Ask your boyfriend for help
If you find it difficult to bond with his mother, ask your boyfriend to work things out. With a better history and knowledge of her mother's personality, your boyfriend may be able to talk more easily with his mother.
This step is only necessary if you are unable to talk to the mother yourself. It would be better if you deal with the problem directly
Step 6. Let things go as they are
If all the steps you're taking don't work out, you don't have to humble yourself or do anything to win her mother's heart. Changing who you are for him will only make you feel more upset and disappointed. It doesn't matter if you can't be good friends with his mother. However, make sure you are always polite and respectful. Remember that he is still an important part of your boyfriend's life.
