There's nothing more awkward and painful than a friend who likes your lover. The situation gets worse as he shows his feelings. Of course this puts you in a difficult position. You don't want to be mean to your friend, but on the other hand you don't want him to get close to your lover either. First, you can try to handle the situation by sending some hints to your friends. If that doesn't work, discuss the situation with him. It's good that you and your lover know the situation and have the same view.
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Method 1 of 3: Sending Covert Messages to Friends
Step 1. Reflect confidence
Your boyfriend chose you for a variety of reasons. Don't let your flirty friends become the subject of your thoughts and make you forget about it. Show that you have the confidence to make him want to "back off". It also shows your boyfriend that you are the right choice and he is taking the stupid step of letting your friend interfere with your relationship.
If you start to feel inferior because of this situation, tell yourself that you are intelligent, kind, attractive, and funny
Step 2. Remind your friend that the guy she is dating is your boyfriend
By giving her some subtle (and more obvious) clues, you can remind her that the guy she's flirting with is your boyfriend. This can make him feel guilty for flirting with your boyfriend and eventually push him to back off.
- For example, if he asks if your girlfriend will come with you when you make plans, you can say, for example, “Why? Am I still not having fun, huh?” while joking. This statement shows that you are aware of his desire to continue to be near your lover.
- You can also wake him up to back off by showing your love for your girlfriend, especially when she's flirting with you in front of you. You can smile at your friend, then kiss your lover's cheek. This of course can make your friends aware.
Step 3. Stay friendly when interacting with him
Approach your friends and lovers who are chatting while still smiling. You can put your hand on your boyfriend's back and say, "What the hell are you guys talking about?". This kind of attitude shows your boyfriend and your friends that you want to be involved in their conversation too.
You may need to be suspicious if they suddenly stop talking or distance themselves from you
Step 4. Use hints in chat
Direct his attention to your relationship if your friend and boyfriend are chatting. You can use this covert trick to remind your friends that you and your boyfriend are dating.
For example, use the word "we" when speaking. Instead of saying, “I really like that restaurant,” you can say, “We really like that restaurant.” Talking about things you do together can remind your friend that you and your boyfriend are already attached
Method 2 of 3: Talking to Your Friends
Step 1. Ask him if he likes your girlfriend
Sometimes, the best way to get the information you want is to ask bluntly. By asking directly, you can get a clear answer, leaving no room for misunderstanding.
For example, take your friend to a cafe and say, “I wonder if you have feelings for my boyfriend. Some of the things you do and your attitude intrigue me.” His feelings may be hurt, but of course it will be better when you know the truth from him
Step 2. Ask him to stay away
You need to be more assertive if he doesn't understand your directions or continues to behave that way. Your friendship will still be damaged because of the seduction he throws at your lover. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with asking him to stop talking to your lover.
For example, you could say, "I'm not sure if you're trying to be funny or if you don't realize you're flirting with my boyfriend. Obviously, you make me feel uncomfortable and I want you to stop acting like that." Say this when you are alone with your friend. The situation will only get worse if you say it in front of many people
Step 3. Don't let yourself get stuck in the same situation
Don't take your friend with you when you're going to meet your boyfriend or end the friendship with him if he's still flirting with your boyfriend. Keep in mind that your friendship isn't healthy if he won't back down out of respect for you and your relationship.
Method 3 of 3: Talking to Your Lover About the Situation
Step 1. Ask him if he thinks your friend likes him
It's not uncommon for you to feel that another woman is after your boyfriend, even if you don't actually get jealous easily. Talk to your lover to find out other opinions because your opinion may be a little subjective.
- You could say, “Do you think my friend has feelings for you? I seem to see the signs, but I'm not sure either. What do you think?" Think carefully about your lover's answer.
- However, watch for signs that your boyfriend likes your friend, and he's hiding those feelings. These signs include frequent eye contact, texting, finding excuses to be alone with your friend, and acting weird around him.
Step 2. Observe your lover when he is around your friend
Your boyfriend may give you subtle hints that he's getting a love signal from your friend. Watch what he does when he meets your friend. You may see signs that indicate that your partner is uncomfortable or is looking to you for “help”.
For example, your boyfriend may look at you with wide eyes when your friend is talking to him or be rude. He may also turn his body away from your friend, and toward you when he suspects your friend is flirting with him
Step 3. Tell him that you are uncomfortable with the situation
Do your lover and your friends frequently text? Do they have a joke only known to them? Do they often “take you out” of the chat? If so, you have the right to express your annoyance about these things when you feel uncomfortable with their attitude. This is important to remember, especially if you suspect they are in a secret relationship.
- For example, you could say, “I'm glad you two are friends. However, I feel uncomfortable with your attitude when you meet each other. I feel like something is going on beyond my knowledge.”
- If he really cares about you and wants to make you feel more comfortable, he will definitely change his attitude. If your boyfriend doesn't want to change, there's a good chance he likes the attention and likes your friend.
Step 4. Understand that your boyfriend is not to blame
Don't take your anger out on your friend on your lover. Your friend is at fault, not your lover. Feeling angry with your boyfriend will only make him feel uncomfortable and distanced from you, and have the opposite effect on what you want.
