Dating someone can bring pleasure to both of you. However, asking someone out on a date can be difficult and challenging. Luckily, you don't have to rely on luck. By learning more about the psychological aspects of asking out on a date, you can better understand the process and increase your chances of success.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Starting a Chat
Step 1. Don't immediately ask your partner out on a date
A sudden date invitation will reduce your chances of getting approval from your partner. Instead of just approaching someone and immediately asking if they want to date you, start by asking a question or asking for a little favor first. You can also use this question to start a longer chat and get to know her better before asking her out.
- Try asking for a little favor. Asking for directions or asking for a good restaurant recommendation near you are some examples of questions/help you can use to start a conversation.
- After asking for help, you can ask if he wants to see you later.
- People who ask for a small favor first before asking a date have about a 15% chance of being accepted by a potential date.
- People who immediately ask out on a date only have a 3% chance of being accepted.
Step 2. Say something positive
If you approach someone in a public place, it will be difficult for you to think of a conversation starter. When opening a chat, you need to focus on the positive things you notice/find around you.
- Don't use "cheat seduction". Things like this will only irritate your partner and make you seem insincere.
- For example, if you are at the convenience store, you can comment on how delicious the food is and ask your potential partner if he or she has ever tried the food.
- Small talk signifies interest and makes the other person feel "not threatened".
Step 3. Keep the conversation going
After starting a conversation, you have to keep the flow. The key is to listen and pay attention to what he is saying, both verbally and through body language. Start the conversation slowly and pay attention to the details or clues he gives, then use those clues to keep the conversation going.
- Slowly, try to reveal more information about it that you can talk about.
- Adjust your response to the length or intensity of the response. Talking more than the other person is actually making you seem busy or caring about yourself.
- Make sure your response or speech is no longer than one minute.
- At the end of this short conversation, try asking him out on a date.
Part 2 of 3: Showing Interest
Step 1. Make a good first impression
First impressions are almost always formed automatically when two people meet for the first time. Judgments like this are made quickly based on behavior, dress, appearance, and whatever was said at the meeting. By building a good impression, you can increase your chances of getting a date once you've asked someone.
- First impressions can be hard to change.
- A neat appearance and clean clothes help you build a good impression.
- Meet confident people and make eye contact to show confidence.
- Your first words are important. Try saying something that reflects your character and shows your intelligence.
Step 2. Use appropriate body language
There are many nonverbal methods you can use to show your interest in the person you are talking to. By using this method in a verbal conversation, you can show your confidence and show him that you find him attractive.
- Push your shoulders back and stand straight.
- Occasionally tilt your head to the side or nod to show interest.
- Smile. While chatting with him, flash a small smile. However, the person you're talking to can get annoyed if you smile too often (or, conversely, smile too little).
- Stand closer than when you stand with someone you are not interested in.
- Make eye contact. Don't stare at him too deeply, but make enough eye contact to reflect confidence and show that you care.
- Speak slowly and casually. Don't rush when speaking and "insert" small pauses when the other person finishes speaking.
Step 3. Wear clothes of the right color
If you're looking to date or meet a new group of people, think about what color to wear. Colors can have an impact on other people and leave a certain impression, depending on the style you choose. Make sure the color of the clothes you wear when looking for a potential date can convey the right message.
- Men who wear blue are often viewed by women as stable and loyal.
- Women who wear red clothes are seen as passionate and strong in the eyes of men.
- Gray clothes can give a neutral and calm impression so they may not be suitable when looking for a date.
Part 3 of 3: Asking A Date
Step 1. Propose a date as a suggestion
When asking about someone's plans and whether he wants to date you, an indirect invitation can be a good choice. Use indirect phrases to keep the other person from feeling too pressured and allow him to give an honest answer. When asking out on a date, always “package” your questions in indirect statements.
Ask what the plan is. If he doesn't have plans, let him know your plans and ask if he'd like to join you
Step 2. Pack the date as the idea, not yours
When asking someone out, you can package your request in a way that makes them feel like the date was the idea. People are usually more comfortable with their own proposals or ideas, and will likely approve of your dating plans.
For example, ask about good restaurants in your area. When he makes a suggestion, respond to his suggestion by saying that the restaurant looks interesting and because he likes it, maybe the two of you can visit it
Step 3. Explain the "benefits" or positive sides that can be enjoyed
One way to ask out is to explain your request/ask by highlighting the “benefits” or positive aspects that can be enjoyed. By explaining why he should date you, there's a good chance the other person will agree to your offer.
Explain why a place is worth visiting. If he likes it, let him know that you want to visit him and suggest plans to go out together
Step 4. Ask him out on a date in person
Some people don't like indirect questions/invitations because such things might be considered as manipulation. If you feel that your potential date prefers a direct approach, you should ask her out in person as well. This method or step can prevent any loss of meaning or misunderstanding, and give you the opportunity to express your desires without rambling.
Just ask him if he wants to enjoy the planned date with you
Tips
- Don't use flattery.
- Be sincere and show your personality.
- Do not be shy. Always display confidence and act calm.
- Take care of personal hygiene and wear clean clothes.
- Be yourself.
- Always be polite and treat others with respect.
- Don't expect sex on a date.
- Don't try and see yourself as the most confident person in the world. If you are shy, show confidence to build a good first impression. Remember that the person you are talking to may be just as nervous as you are. If you appear overconfident, other people can feel scared. Be yourself.
- Show friendliness and be open to engaging in conversation. However, make sure the chat continues. Show good eye contact when speaking to the person you are talking to.
