Did a friend who was very close to you suddenly have a boyfriend? In an instant, your best friend's attention and affection begins to split, and he no longer has as much time as he used to to hang out with you. Even though the situation makes you jealous, deep down in your heart, you actually know that this person has succeeded in making your best friend happy. If you don't want to lose your best friend later, why not try to establish a good relationship with the man who has won her heart?
Step
Part 1 of 3: Showing a Positive Attitude
Step 1. Smile
Most likely, he will feel nervous about having to make a good impression in front of his girlfriend's best friend. Therefore, allay his worries by smiling very broadly when he saw him for the first time. A cheerful and genuine smile indicates your interest in someone, as well as your desire to be friends with them.
- When you smile a genuine smile, the corners of your lips will be pulled up, and the muscles around your eyes will contract. Make sure your smile looks real and friendly, yes!
- Don't give him a seductive smile so your friend doesn't get offended. In general, a seductive smile will generally form if you smile while tilting your head slightly and glancing at your friend's boyfriend's face.
Step 2. Say the name
Everyone will feel happy when they hear his name called. Therefore, try to say his name 3 times in the conversation. However, make sure your sentences sound natural, okay! If your best friend's boyfriend is John, try saying:
- "Nice to meet you, John. So far (name of best friend) has told me a lot about you."
- “Eh John, I heard you went camping with (name of best friend) last week? Fun, isn't it?"
- "I'm so happy you know, John, because you can make my friend happy."
Step 3. Make eye contact
Show your interest in getting to know him better by making eye contact. Remember, your eyes often communicate more than the words that come out of your mouth. If you can't make eye contact with your best friend's boyfriend, your desire to build a friendship with him will be very difficult.
- Spend 50% of the time making eye contact if you are talking to someone, and 70% if you are listening. If you make eye contact longer than that, you're more likely to appear aggressive or scary in the eyes of the other person.
- Make eye contact for at least 4 to 5 seconds. If your eyes are constantly moving aimlessly while speaking, the other person will interpret it as nervous, which will only make him feel uncomfortable.
- Don't look down while talking. This attitude shows your lack of confidence! If you feel nervous, you should look to the side of the person's face, not down.
Step 4. Speak in an excited tone
Show your happiness when you meet him in a positive and energetic tone of voice! Remember, having someone to talk to who is enthusiastic and sounds fun is everyone's dream. If you always speak in a monotone and boring tone, you will likely be perceived as less interested in chatting with him.
- For some, it takes a tremendous amount of effort to speak enthusiastically. Therefore, try practicing your speaking in front of the mirror a few times before practicing it in front of other people. Once you get used to it, you'll surely realize that being passionate can actually increase your energy levels naturally.
- Enthusiastic speaking style can actually be contagious, you know! Believe me, you will be surprised when you realize that the energy emitted will backfire like a boomerang. As a result, all parties will feel happy when the communication process is carried out.
Step 5. Encourage him to talk about his personal life
Everyone likes to talk about themselves, especially since these activities stimulate the same areas of the brain that you eat or earn money. Therefore, try asking questions that can encourage him to tell his life story, such as:
- "What do you work for, anyway?"
- "What are your hobbies?"
- "What kind of music do you like?"
Step 6. Try to remember various information about your best friend's boyfriend
Every time you meet him, try to bring up a topic that the two of you have discussed before. Trust me, he will be flattered if he sees your concern for remembering the various information he has shared. For example, try saying:
- “The last time we talked, if I'm not mistaken you had time to tell me about your office project, right? How's it going?"
- “Still like volunteering at an animal shelter?”
- “Your car is beautiful! The wheels that you discussed yesterday have been installed, here.”
Part 2 of 3: Reassure Her That Your Existence Doesn't Threaten Her Relationship
Step 1. Give them space and time to date
Remember, every relationship requires intimacy in order to thrive. So don't forget to give your best friend and boyfriend space to enjoy each other's company without your distractions! Don't force yourself to stick around so they don't end up hating you.
- Don't make the situation feel awkward. If you feel that your friend and girlfriend want to spend time together, leave immediately from their presence.
- Don't participate in the activities of his friends and girlfriends unless asked to. After all they will definitely invite you if you really want to do it.
Step 2. Sort the information you tell your friends
Never talk negative things about his girlfriend! If this information is heard by your friend's boyfriend, he will likely feel betrayed by your comment. If you're always friendly in front of your best friend's boyfriend but talk about negativity behind his back, he's more likely to think you're two-faced and be less likely to spend time around you.
- If a friend complains about his girlfriend, don't use this moment to vent your frustration on your boyfriend! For example, if a friend says, "My boyfriend has a terrible sense of dressing." Even if you agree with his opinion, don't share it! If your friend's boyfriend hears about it, he can take your comment personally.
- Be a good friend. Never say bad things about your friend's boyfriend, unless you see him being rude or disrespectful to your friend. If you have to say something negative about your best friend's boyfriend, make sure you do it without sounding judgmental. For example, you might say, "I respect you and your relationship, but I really feel like he hasn't been treating you well all this time. If you need help and support, give me a call, okay?"
- If there are things you want to hide from your best friend's boyfriend, don't tell your best friend. Trust me, he will definitely have a hard time keeping it!
- In addition, do not also tell everything about friends without their knowledge. Even though it feels like it can bring you and your friend's boyfriend closer, actually this action shows that you don't respect your friend. After all, even her boyfriend can feel awkward when placed in that situation.
Step 3. Know your limitations
Don't get too close to your best friend's boyfriend! Even if you want to show a friendly attitude, that doesn't mean you can violate existing boundaries. In particular, never contact your best friend's boyfriend or spend time with him or her without your best friend knowing! Don't make her feel that you want to be more than friends with her, or that you want to test her loyalty to friends. If your best friend realizes it, surely you will really miss it.
- You should only contact your friend's boyfriend secretly when planning a party or surprise gift for a friend.
- Don't comment on your best friend's boyfriend photos too often or send private messages to their social media accounts.
- Don't take your best friend's boyfriend on a trip together!
Step 4. Mind your own life
Remember, there are some aspects of a best friend relationship that are really none of your business. Therefore, resist the temptation to find out all the details that you don't need to know. For example, don't ask questions that could make your best friend and boyfriend feel uncomfortable, or that could make their relationship worse. Some questions you should avoid:
- "You two have been dating for a long time. When do you want to get married, anyway?”
- “Who has more money between the two of you?”
- "Do you want to have children, don't you?"
Part 3 of 3: Changing Your Perspective
Step 1. Realize that you now have a new friend
Don't think of your best friend's boyfriend as a “thief” trying to take your best friend out of your hands. Instead, try to think of him as someone new to your circle of friends. Trust me, he will be more comfortable around you if he feels accepted in the community.
- Be happy that you have the opportunity to recognize more new information about someone that is important to a friend.
- Think of the qualities of your best friend's boyfriend that make him fun to be friends with.
- While you may occasionally feel like a "third person" in your best friend and boyfriend interactions, be aware that your best friend's boyfriend may also feel the same way in your friendship. Therefore, instead of busy feeling isolated, try to find ways to make your best friend's boyfriend feel included in your friendship.
Step 2. Be happy for your best friend
If you really love your best friend, you should be happy when you see a guy who can make her happy. Just because you already have a boyfriend, doesn't mean his love for you will decrease, right? If his girlfriend is a good person, she should be able to appreciate another person who also loves her idol, namely you.
- Stop thinking about your own interests, and start putting the interests of your friends first.
- Understand that romantic relationships are part of a person's growing process, and your best friend needs to experience it in order to grow into a better person. However, understand also that in going through the process, your presence as a friend will still be needed!
- Observe the relationship as an opportunity to strengthen your friendship! If you are able to be supportive, surely the bond of friendship between the two of you will be even stronger.
Step 3. Go on a date with one of his friends, if you want
Ask if your best friend's boyfriend has friends who are single. Would you like to date one of them? In particular, this can be your chance to find true love, you know! After all, your best friend's boyfriend won't mind introducing one of his friends to you.
- If a friend interests you, try saying, “Well, your friend is fine too. Invite him to hang out with us, sometime."
- You and your best friend also have the opportunity to go on a double date, right?
- Don't push your will too much. In other words, don't ask too often for information about the friend that interests you.
Step 4. Increase your independence
Friendships are important, but you still need to have the space and time to work without friends. Instead of worrying about the dwindling frequency of being with friends, take advantage of the free time you have to do things that interest you! Trust me, your best friend's boyfriend will be relieved to see that you are self-interested and not really dependent on anyone else.
- Take up a new hobby like painting, writing, playing sports, or any other activity you find interesting.
- In fact, you may have a greater chance of making new friends and expanding your social circle, you know!
- If you are around the same person too often, surely your identity will be influenced by that person's existence. That's why you need to take the time to be alone in order to find a new and more real self.
Tips
- Make your best friend's boyfriend feel welcome when he's around you.
- Initiate conversation with a friend's boyfriend. Chances are, he's nervous about having to talk to you first.
- Make eye contact when communicating with a friend's boyfriend. Make sure he realizes that you are listening carefully to his words.
- Don't get into the habit of looking down when you're talking to your best friend's boyfriend to keep him comfortable.
Warning
- Don't make internal jokes too often so that your boyfriend doesn't feel alienated.
- Don't be afraid to speak up if you feel your best friend's relationship looks dangerous or unhealthy.
- Don't force your best friend to make a choice between you and her boyfriend.
- Don't get too close to your best friend's boyfriend! Trust me, sooner or later your best friend will realize it.
