Many people find it difficult to live their daily lives because they feel inferior. Sometimes, confident and very positive people also experience the same problem. If you're always self-deprecating and want to get over it, do you know how? While it may take time and effort, start recovering by breaking the habit of self-criticism and making changes to grow the awareness that you are a great person.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Changing Yourself
Step 1. Write down all the good things you've done and what you like about yourself
Maybe you're good at making crafts, are good at drawing, or have given bread to a homeless person who passed by in front of your house a few days ago. Focusing on the positive is a way to break the habit of self-criticism.
- Don't overlook small kindnesses. Make the list as long as possible by writing down all the positive things you can remember from your childhood.
- Ask yourself what is your best trait? Creative? Helpful? Kind?
- What are the achievements so far? Graduated from high school? Pass a difficult exam with the best grades? Mastering a new skill you learned on your own?
- Read this list as often as you can, even if nothing triggers self-deprecation.
Step 2. Start the day by saying affirmations
Affirmations are sentences or phrases to support or encourage someone or yourself. At first, this may seem strange and unconvincing. However, start saying affirmations verbally while looking in the mirror every morning and evening.
- Write the affirmation on a small piece of paper and stick it on the mirror or on the back of a business card and keep it in your wallet as a reminder during your activities.
- Examples of affirmations: "I love myself", "I like and accept myself as I am", or "I deserve to be loved".
Step 3. Get rid of negative inner chatter
What do you think of when you do something wrong? Do you call yourself stupid, a loser, or say negative things about yourself? When these thoughts arise, stop them immediately. Tell your mind to stop criticizing yourself by saying it out loud, out of breath, or silently, even if you have to say "stop" every ten seconds.
- Wear a rubber band around your wrist and pull it tight and then release it again each time you lower yourself.
- Acknowledge every time you have a negative thought and imagine you tossed it in the trash or physically freed yourself up in some way.
- While negative thoughts can't go away permanently, they can help you distract or control your thoughts.
Step 4. Treat yourself as a friend
Think about all the negative things you think about yourself and then imagine that you or someone said it to a close friend or family member. Are you going to let them be abused? Begin to treat yourself with the same respect and courtesy you would treat anyone else.
Instead of criticizing yourself when faced with a problem, think about what you would do if you wanted to help a friend with the same problem and then use that method to help yourself
Step 5. Don't compare yourself to others
Many of us like to compare ourselves with others, for example in terms of appearance, test scores, personality, popularity, or achievements. Apart from harming yourself, this method will make you never satisfied because there will always be someone prettier, smarter, or cooler than you. However, remember that no human is perfect. So, focus on your strengths and abilities You alone.
Step 6. Forgive yourself
The wrong decisions and mistakes of the past cannot be undone by constantly thinking about them. Instead, learn from mistakes and make improvements. Even if you repeat the same mistakes, remember that this is a human thing. This way, you will be able to admit your shortcomings without continuing to regret them.
Think of the people you love and admire. They're also not perfect, make mistakes, and feel disappointed, but you still love them and treat them with respect. Respect yourself as you value them
Part 2 of 2: Changing External Aspects
Step 1. Stay away from negative people
Being around people who constantly criticize and insult others will have a bad effect on self-esteem. Often times, a lack of support makes it difficult for you to brace yourself. Therefore, stay away from negative environments and interact with people who are willing to accept and care for you.
- If you can't distance yourself from a negative person, rebuke the negative behavior. Chances are he will be angry because he feels guilty.
- Set boundaries with negative people. Minimize your interactions with them so you don't get influenced.
- Don't be too negative. Doing good and respecting others gives you the ability to respect yourself. Write this down to make your list of good things longer.
Step 2. Make a plan to do fun things
If you keep feeling sorry for yourself, you will miss out on the fun things, for example: hiking, watching movies at the cinema, or playing music. From now on, make it a habit to do at least one activity that you enjoy every day.
- Do activities according to skills or interests. If you're an animal lover, offer to take your dog for a walk in the park or volunteer at an animal shelter.
- Take a course or learn a new skill. Take this opportunity to meet new friends and develop skills so that you can appreciate yourself.
Step 3. Do physical activity and exercise regularly
If you're feeling depressed and start to criticize yourself, do something that gets you moving, for example: go for a walk, swim, or play basketball with your younger sibling. When you exercise, your body will produce endorphins and neurotransmitters that make you feel happy, divert your focus from negative thoughts, and increase your self-confidence.
- Light intensity activities are also able to overcome depression, for example: taking care of plants, practicing yoga, or walking around the supermarket while pushing a shopping cart.
- Exercising is a healthy way to deal with depression and negative thoughts, not to avoid or ignore problems. Take this opportunity as a positive means to channel your feelings.
- Set small achievable goals, for example: walk around your block three times a week. The success of achieving a challenging goal makes you appreciate yourself more.
Step 4. Talk to a therapist or mental health professional
A negative self-image is usually formed because you were considered bad since childhood, so professional help is needed to find the cause. If you're having trouble dealing with these issues on your own or you have a desire to hurt yourself/others, seek help immediately.
