Whether you're away from home to go to school, move to a new place, or just go on a trip, you may experience what's known as “homesickness.” The symptoms of homesickness can vary from person to person, but in general, homesickness can make you feel sad, depressed, isolated, or lonely. You may feel nostalgic about home, even simple things like old pillows or the smell of your house. Homesickness can happen to people of all ages in almost any situation, so don't be shy if you feel homesick. There are steps you can take to help overcome homesickness and learn how to like your new surroundings.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Developing a Countermeasures Strategy
Step 1. Understand the causes of homesickness
Home homesickness stems from the human need for connection, love, and security. Even though it's called "homesickness," it can also be unrelated to your real home. Anything familiar, stable, comfortable, and positive can be a source of feeling homesick when you're away from it. Research has even shown that homesickness is a type of grief over loss that is similar to grieving over a breakup or death.
You can feel homesick, where you develop feelings of anxiety, loss, or obsession about home, even before you actually leave the house because you are anticipating the breakup
Step 2. Recognize the symptoms of homesickness
Homesickness is more than just homesick. Homesickness can cause a variety of feelings and side effects that can impact daily activities. Learning how to recognize these symptoms can help you figure out why you feel the way you do and take action to deal with them.
- Nostalgia. Nostalgia is when you often think about your home or familiar things and people, usually through an idealized lens. You may feel overwhelmed by thoughts of home, or find yourself constantly comparing your new situation negatively to your old one.
- Depression. People who suffer from homesickness often experience depression because they don't get the social support they get at home. You may also feel like you have little control over your life, which can exacerbate depression. Common signs of homesickness-induced depression include feelings of sadness, disorientation, or as if you “feel a stranger,” withdrawing from social activities, academic or work difficulties, feeling helpless or abandoned, experiencing low self-esteem, and changes in patterns of behavior. sleep. Not wanting to or no longer enjoying the things you used to do is often a sign of depression.
- Anxiety. Anxiety is also a major sign of homesickness. The anxiety caused by homesickness can lead to obsessive thoughts, especially about your home or the people you miss. You may also experience difficulty concentrating or extreme stress without being able to pinpoint the exact cause. You may become very easily irritated or “snap” at people in your new situation. In extreme cases, anxiety can trigger other responses, such as agoraphobia (fear of large spaces) or claustrophobia (fear of small spaces).
- Abnormal behavior. Feeling homesick can lead you to stray from your normal routine and change the way you respond to things. For example, if you're not usually a bad-tempered person, but find that you find yourself getting irritated or yelling more often than usual, this could be a sign that you're feeling homesick. You may also eat significantly more or less than usual. Other symptoms include frequent headaches or experiencing greater pain or getting sick more often than usual.
Step 3. Keep familiar objects near you
Having familiar items from “home” can help relieve feelings of homesickness by giving you an “anchor.” Items of high sentimental or cultural value, such as a family photo or an item that relates to your cultural identity, can help you feel connected to home even when you're away from home.
However, don't overwhelm your new space with things from home. In order to adjust to new situations, it is important to accept the changes you are going through
Step 4. Do the things you usually like to do at home
Research shows that doing things that make you feel nostalgic can help you feel better. Traditions and rituals can help develop a feeling of connectedness to home even when you are away from home.
- Eat your favorite food from home. There's a reason we have the term "tranquilizing food." Eating familiar foods from your childhood or culture can make you feel happier and safer in a new environment. Try introducing your favorite foods to new friends to strengthen the connection between a familiar source of comfort and a new source of emotional support.
- Participate in your religious traditions, if any. Research has shown that people who share a religious or faith tradition are less homesick when participating in that tradition in a new place. Finding a place of worship or meditation in a new place, or even a group of friends with similar traditions, can help you adjust.
- Find some of the same activities to do. If you were in a bowling group or book club at home, don't be shy. Look around and see if there's anything similar in the new environment. You will be able to do the things you love and meet new people in the process.
Step 5. Talk about your feelings with someone
It's a common myth that talking about feeling homesick can cause or exacerbate symptoms of homesickness. Research has shown that this is not true. In fact, talking about what you're feeling and experiencing can help you deal with feeling homesick. Not acknowledging these feelings can make it worse.
- Find someone you can trust to talk to. A university resident assistant, guidance counselor, parent or close friend, or mental health professional can give you a sympathetic ear and, oftentimes, advice on how to deal with your feelings.
- Remember that seeking help from others doesn't mean you're "weak" or "crazy." Having the power to admit that you need help is a good sign of courage and self-care, not something to be ashamed of.
Step 6. Write a journal
Journaling will help you get in touch with your thoughts and process everything that is happening in your new environment. Whether you are studying abroad, at university, at summer camp, or recently moved to a new city, you are likely to experience many new and unfamiliar sensations, and journaling can help keep track of your thoughts. Research has shown that keeping a journal in which you reflect on your experiences and how they affected your feelings can help relieve feelings of homesickness.
- Try to keep your focus positive. While it's normal to feel lonely and homesick, it's important to look on the bright side of new experiences. Think of fun things you did, or how something new reminded you of something amazing at home. If you just write down how much you feel really sad, you may actually make your homesickness worse.
- Make sure your journal is more than just a list of negative feelings and events. When you write down a negative experience, take time to think about it and write down why it made you feel the way you do. This is called "narrative reflection," and has therapeutic purposes.
Step 7. Exercise frequently
Research has shown that exercise releases endorphins, the body's natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins help fight anxiety and depression, both of which are common side effects of homesickness. If you can, exercise with other people. This will give you the opportunity to socialize and meet new people.
Exercise can also boost your immune system. Homesickness may present as an increase in pain (eg, frequent headaches or colds)
Step 8. Have a conversation with friends and family at home
Conversing with loved ones back home can help you feel supported and connected, which is important for adjusting to a new place.
- You need to develop self-confidence and independence to fight homesickness effectively. Don't let yourself focus so much on loved ones elsewhere that you don't learn how to be independent.
- Conversing with friends and family can exacerbate homesickness for very young children or those who are away from home for only a very short time.
- You can also spend a little time on social networking sites to connect with your friends and find out how they are doing. However, don't focus so much on old friends that you don't have time to make new ones.
Step 9. Avoid obsessing over your old house
While connecting with people at home can be a great coping strategy, it can also be detrimental. Don't let your efforts to remember home fill your life. If you find yourself talking to your mom for the third time that day instead of drinking coffee with a new friend, consider adjusting the amount of time you spend connecting with new people.
Schedule your phone calls home. Set limits on how often and how long you will talk to friends and family at home. You can even try writing “snail” letters like the old days. Those are great ways to stay in touch with people at home without letting feelings of nostalgia from the past get in the way of you living in the present
Method 2 of 3: Reaching Out to People
Step 1. Make a list of what you miss from home
It is very common to miss loved ones when you are away from them. Make a list of the people you miss and what they bring into your life. What memories do you hold dear? What things do you guys do together? What aspect of their personality do you like best? Finding new friends who are similar to those you left behind can help you feel emotionally supported. It can also help you adjust to a new place or situation.
Look for areas where the new environment is just like what you longed for. Research on homesickness has shown that when you can find the familiar aspects of new situations, you are less likely to feel homesick because you focus on something positive
Step 2. Engage
It's easy to say you need to make new friends, but doing that for real can be difficult in a new place. The best way to develop a strong social support network is to put yourself in situations where you will meet new people, especially if they share your interests. Engaging in new activities can also help distract you from feeling homesick.
- For example, if you go to school or college far from home, there are a wide variety of student clubs, sports, activities, and organizations that you can join. It can help you connect with other people, many of whom may be experiencing feelings of homesickness too!
- If you are in a new job or new city, it can be difficult to make new friends. Research has shown that you may find it difficult to make new friends after graduation. Consistency is key: joining groups that meet regularly, such as book clubs or workshops, may help you make new friends because you'll be meeting the same people on a regular basis.
Step 3. Share what you love about home with others
One of the most important things you can do to fight homesickness is to make new friends. Having a strong support network makes it less likely that you will have difficulty coping with feelings of homesickness, even if you do. Sharing positive memories about home will help lift your spirits and make you feel more comfortable talking about home.
- Host a party where you share your food and traditions with new friends or acquaintances. Whether you're studying abroad or just studying a few hours away from home, sharing your favorite food from home with people can make you feel better. You could throw a party where you teach some friends to make the food you love the most from home, or just invite a few people over for your favorite local snack.
- Share your favorite music with people. If you come from a place that loves country music, hold a small gathering where people play board games, get to know each other, and listen to your favorite songs. If you like listening to jazz at home, play jazz songs. The music doesn't have to be directly related to your home as long as it reminds you of being at home.
- Tell funny stories about being at home. While you may feel too sad to laugh, try sharing some funny anecdotes about what you love most about being at home. Talking about pleasant memories can strengthen your relationship with your home and new friends.
- If you live in a place where your native language is different from yours, try teaching people some key phrases in your language. It will be fun, distracting, and educational for your friends.
Step 4. Be bold
Feeling embarrassed, awkward, or vulnerable is a common side effect of homesickness. If you don't take any risks, you will miss out on experiences that can help you adjust to new situations. Try to accept the invitation, even if you won't know many people there. You don't have to be the center of the party! Just being present and listening to people is already a good move.
- If you're shy, give yourself a controlled goal: meet and talk to only one new person. You will likely become more comfortable socializing over time. Focus on listening to the person, which is the easiest way to make a connection.
- Even if you don't end up making friends at the party or event, you'll already be proving to yourself that you can handle new, unfamiliar things, and can boost your self-confidence.
Step 5. Get out of your comfort zone
Doing the same familiar things over and over again may feel good, but it's important to push yourself out of your comfort zone to grow and change. Research has shown that moderate levels of anxiety, such as that experienced when learning a new skill, can improve your performance on intellectual and interpersonal tasks. Feeling too comfortable can prevent you from adjusting to a new environment.
- Start with small steps. Trying to face your biggest fears all at once can be detrimental. Trying to throw yourself into something completely foreign can leave you feeling overwhelmed. Give yourself small, controlled goals that challenge you little by little each time.
- Try a new restaurant in a new city. Offer to sit with a stranger in the cafeteria. Ask someone in class to start a study group with you. Invite coworkers for after-work drinks.
Method 3 of 3: Getting in Touch with Your New Situation
Step 1. Enjoy the unique aspects of your new environment
Finding ways to meet your needs in a new environment can be a challenge, but it can also help fight homesickness. Connecting with what's new and exciting about your new situation can help you feel more attached to it.
- For example, if you study or live abroad, visit all the museums, palaces, local restaurants, and cultural traditions that make that country unique. Get out your tour book and set a goal of doing a cultural activity at least once a week.
- Immerse yourself in the culture. Even if you recently moved to a different place in your home country, you may find that the local culture is quite different from where you came from. Learn local expressions, try new foods, and check out local bars and pubs. Take cooking classes that focus on local ingredients. Join a local dance club. Improving your intercultural communication skills can help you feel more at home in a new place.
- Ask the locals about their favorite activities. You might get great recommendations for finding the best burrito of your life, or you might get directions to a beautiful secluded lake.
Step 2. Learn the language
If you're moving to a new country, not being able to speak the language can be a huge barrier to feeling like you're blending in. Learn the language as fast as you can; take classes, chat with locals, and practice your new skills. You will feel more confident and in control once you are able to communicate with people in a new environment.
Step 3. Go out
Going out is half the game against homesickness. Of course you'll feel homesick if you spend eight hours a day watching reruns of The Office in the dark. Instead, make it a goal to spend a lot of time outdoors, whether that's just reading a book, the same one you'd read at home, in the park in the sun, or taking a walk with a good friend instead of doing sit-ups in your room..
Work or study outside the home. Go to a coffee shop or park and do the same work you would do at home. Just being around people can help you feel less lonely
Step 4. Take up a new interest
Finding something new to do can help you find your passion. It can provide positive, productive activities to focus your energy on and can distract you from feelings of sadness or loneliness. Learning new skills can also help you get out of your comfort zone.
Try to find a hobby that relates to your new environment. See if there are cycling or hiking clubs in the area. Take a local art class. Find writers' workshops. If you can socialize while developing new skills, it will help you feel more connected to your new place
Step 5. Give it time
Don't be disappointed in yourself if you don't like the new place right away. Many of the people around you may have accepted new things around them more quickly, but that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you; In fact, many people who look like they are having fun may actually feel very homesick. Be patient and know that with a little persistence, you will be able to make things go smoothly.
Tips
- People of all ages can experience homesickness. Don't feel bad if you're an adult who misses home because you just moved to a new city for work. That's completely normal.
- Focus on the positives of the new environment whenever you can. For example, think about new foods you can try in new places that you don't have at home.
- If you're moving to a new country, learn the language as quickly as possible. Being able to communicate with people in a new environment will help you feel in control of your situation and help you relate to others.
- Reach out to people! Especially when you're a new student at school, it may feel like you're the only one who misses home. However, if you talk to your classmates, you may find that they feel the same way. Sharing your feelings can help people adjust.
- Try problem solving. If you're feeling lethargic and can't figure out why, try to think critically about when you're feeling what. Do you feel worse when you think about a friend you left at home? Does watching an old favorite movie make you sad? Try to find out what triggers your homesickness.
Warning
- Severe depression and anxiety can cause disabling side effects. If you're unable to function normally -- for example, can't get out of bed in the morning, aren't interested in doing the things you normally enjoy -- you should seek help from a mental health professional.
- Homesickness can increase feelings or thoughts about suicide in extreme cases. If you have feelings or thoughts about suicide, seek help immediately. You can call 112 (or your local emergency services provider) or a help hotline such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK).
