Without the trust of your parents, you will not be able to travel freely and comfortably. When all your friends go to your classmate's birthday party, you have to be willing to stay at home because you are not allowed to come. Whatever the reason behind your parents having a hard time trusting you (either they were too rigid or you've broken their trust before), know that trust is something that can be rebuilt. Even though it's not as easy as turning your palm, try the methods below to win your parents' trust!
Method 1 of 3: Communicating with Parents
Step 1. Make sure you are always honest
Lying to your parents will only make it harder for them to trust you. If you make a mistake, admit it right away. In this way, your parents will also realize that their beliefs make it easier for you to open up to them. Also tell what you will do to fix it. Don't keep anything from your parents; As much as possible, make sure you are always honest and open to make it easier to trust.
- For example, if you got a ticket this morning for speeding, tell your parents immediately. Don't let them hear that information from the other party!
- Try saying, “Sorry, Mom, I got a ticket on the road for speeding. I'm willing to be punished, really."
- Follow up with, "Next time, I promise to be more careful and not speeding, okay?"
- Be honest, even if you didn't do anything wrong. Opening up to your parents about your feelings and thoughts will create mutual trust between you.
Step 2. Listen to what your parents have to say
Remember, your parents' opinion is just as valuable as yours. Explain to your parents that you want to hear their opinions and advice in certain situations. After hearing them, consider their words and always remember that their opinions are worth hearing too.
- If your parents are giving their opinion on something, don't be too busy fiddling with your phone or even sleeping! Focus on listening to and applying their advice.
- Learn to be an active listener by confirming what you hear. One way is to summarize their words using your own language. Show your involvement in the conversation.
- At the end of the conversation, thank them for all their opinions and advice.
Step 3. Tell me about the things that happened in your life
Invite your family to have dinner at the same table every day. While eating, talk about things that happen in your daily life. As much as possible, do not let your parents find out information about you from other people.
For example, you could say, “My exams went well, you know. Well, although it could have been better, anyway. I think I'll get a B instead of an A."
Step 4. Say that you want to be trusted
If you recently did something that broke their trust, try discussing it with them. Say that you regret what you did and want to fix it. Also ask if there is anything specific you should do to improve the situation. Offer your solution and follow their rules.
For example, you could say, "Sorry, I'm coming home late tonight. It can't be justified, really, especially since Father has extended my curfew. I know Dad will punish me, but I promise I won't repeat the same mistake again. You have to believe, yes, my words."
Method 2 of 3: Following the Rules
Step 1. Exceed their expectations
Always try to follow the rules they set and try to exceed their expectations. Do you have to go home before 10 pm? If so, try to always go home at 9:45 pm. Were you asked to wash the dishes by your mother? If so, also clean your kitchen floor after washing the dishes. Show your parents that you respect them and the rules they make.
- If you get used to it now, they're more likely to give you more freedom in the future.
- Do this consistently. So, parents don't think you do it just to get what you want.
Step 2. Make sure you always respond to their messages and calls
When they contact you, try to respond immediately. Don't ignore it unless the situation really doesn't allow it (for example, when you're taking lessons in class). By doing so, your parents will realize that you are someone they can rely on.
- This is especially obligatory for you to do if your phone credit is still being paid by your parents.
- After all, it's possible that your parents contacted you with emergency news.
- The more diligently you respond to their messages or calls, the less they should contact you. For a similar effect, try calling or texting them spontaneously.
Step 3. Do whatever they ask
Sometimes, your parents ask you to do something that feels like a nuisance like mowing the lawn or cooking dinner. Even if you don't want to do it, try to do it as soon as possible. Remember, your parents have done a lot for you; at least, what you can do is respond to their requests with a smile.
If your parents ask you to do something you don't want or can't do, try to politely decline and offer other possibilities. However, if your efforts are not successful, be willing to accept their decision with a big heart
Step 4. Go where you say you are
If you say you're going to the mall, don't go to your boyfriend's house. In other words, always tell the truth! Trust me, no matter how good you are at hiding something, one day you will definitely find out too.
If you go elsewhere, tell your parents even if you don't think it's important
Step 5. Use your social media wisely
Trust can be built through all domains, including the realm of social media. In other words, don't post something that could embarrass your parents, such as an overly vulgar photo or status.
If your dad forbids you from talking to strangers, change your account settings so that only your friends can send messages to your social media accounts. Use your social media wisely
Step 6. Complete your homework and schoolwork without being asked
If your school gives you an assignment, do it immediately without having to be reminded by your parents. When it's time for dinner, immediately help your mother without being asked. If you are able to take responsibility for small things, of course, your parents will find it easier to entrust bigger things to you.
Start building your own reminder system. For example, set reminders on your phone, jot down things you need to do on your calendar, etc. Find the reminder system that works best for you
Method 3 of 3: Be Responsible
Step 1. Be willing to apologize
After breaking your parent's rules or expectations, apologize immediately. Remember, admitting mistakes is a sign of maturity. Don't be busy making up excuses or blaming other people. Don't wait for your parents to come up to you and ask you to do it.
- For example, you could say, “Sorry, Mom, I broke the living room lamp. I know it can't be fixed, but I promise I'll save up to buy a new lamp."
- Admitting your mistakes and taking responsibility is a great way to show your parents that you've matured.
Step 2. Fix your error
After making a mistake, make every effort to correct the situation. By doing so, your parents will see you as committed, responsible, and reliable in all situations.
If you get scolded for forgetting to tidy up your room, immediately go back to your room and tidy it up. In the future, try not to make the same mistake. Meet or even exceed your parents' expectations
Step 3. Do additional work
Earn your parents' trust by asking them to give you more responsibility. Every year you should grow to be a better and more mature person so that you are able to take on greater responsibilities. Therefore, try offering to look after your sister so your parents can go out to dinner together. You can also offer to replace your father in washing the car. If allowed, you can also do part-time work to earn extra pocket money.
Step 4. Set high standards for yourself
If your family sees that you are a moral and responsible person, that trust will form automatically. Strive to be the best in all aspects of your life; be a good student, achieve maximum academic performance, never skip work, and always maximize your abilities in various fields.
Try not to get into trouble with anyone; show that you are mature and good at dealing with conflicts
Step 5. Spend time with positive people
One way to earn your parents' trust is to choose a positive circle of friends. If you often hang out with people who are a negative influence and often get into trouble, don't be surprised if your parents always have a hard time trusting you. Show them that you are good at judging someone's character by choosing good friends.