At the end of a relationship, life seems to run in place. This person seemed to be everywhere, and rising from current troubles was not an option. However, that shouldn't be the case. By changing the environment, controlling the mind, and keeping oneself busy, one can become a thing of the past. Follow the steps below to forget someone and rise to a happier, healthier and more perfect you.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Avoiding Negative Reminders
Step 1. Cut off physical contact
You can't forget someone if you're always looking at them or constantly aware of their activities. Think about the following strategies:
- Make sure you will not meet him in various daily activities. If you shop at the same time or take the same route from home to work, change your schedule a little so that you are less likely to run into him.
- For now, avoid gatherings where you know he'll be attending. Politely explain to the host that you hope the event goes well and that you don't want to attend because you want to avoid a painful meeting.
Step 2. Get him out of your electronic life
In this day and age, the people we are in touch with are more often found through the screens of electronic devices. Even if you don't see him, it's a lot easier to figure out what's going on with him. As painful as it may seem, remove him from all forms of social media you use.
- Delete his contact information from phone and email accounts.
- Block Facebook, Twitter, Instagram profiles and so on.
- Make efforts to avoid unwanted contact. If necessary, change your email address.
Step 3. Ask your friends to stop telling them about their lives
Something very interesting may have happened, but you don't have to hear about it. If your friend forgets and accidentally says her name, gently remind her by saying something like, “I'm sorry Jane, thinking about Bill really upsets me. Maybe we can talk about something else."
However, you may want to add a note to this policy: sometimes learning new things will help you find the answer. Maybe he started smoking, moved to another city, or lost his job. Let your friends know that if they know something that can help you find an answer, then they should say it
Step 4. Get rid of things that remind you of him
Cleanse your life of painful memories of him. By not looking at the objects associated with it, will help you to rise.
- If you can't get rid of certain items associated with him, collect them all and ask a family member or close friend to house them in their home. Ask to keep them out of your reach for at least six months.
- Look at the list of songs on your MP3 player and delete any songs that remind you of them. Replace them with uplifting, fast-paced songs that will give you confidence and bounce back.
- If you have children or pets with him, you certainly can't get rid of them. Instead, focus on what you've been doing to take care of him and give him a good life.
Part 2 of 3: Changing Perspectives
Step 1. Don't let the desire for revenge control you
Know that wanting to take revenge on someone (by making them jealous, angry, or regretful) is still thinking about them. You can't get up and forget about it if you're still obsessed with getting revenge, so learn to let it go.
- If you believe in a higher power, karma, or some form of universal justice, think logically that it will be rewarded accordingly.
- If you don't believe that someone will be rewarded for their actions, come to terms with the fact that life isn't fair. He may have hurt you unfairly, but that doesn't mean you should copy him.
- Remember the quote from George Herbert: “To live well is the best revenge”. Moving on with your life and refusing to be on the same level as someone will show them that you are not going to be affected by what is happening, and that they are meaningless.
Step 2. Take time to express your feelings
If you've tried everything and still can't stop thinking about it, then try a new approach. Take some time (say an hour or two) to sit down and write down all your feelings about what happened. When time runs out or you run out of words (whatever happened first), close your note and save it. The next time you're tempted to think about it, say to yourself, “No, I've already expressed how I feel about that. I don't want to waste time doing it again.
If absolutely necessary, give yourself 10-15 minutes each day to feel emotional. When those minutes pass, tell yourself that you will think about it tomorrow. As the days go by, you just need less time to get emotional. Realizing that you need less time will make you feel better
Step 3. Divert your thoughts
Fortunately, you can control your thoughts. If you don't want to think about something, you don't have to. Keep yourself busy with school, work, or projects that keep your mind focused. When you have other things to think about, then thoughts about him will disappear.
If you notice you're thinking about it, distract yourself. We often daydream and realize we are thinking about things that surprise us because we are thinking about them. When he crosses your mind, tell yourself you won't think about him or will think about him later (hint: you won't need him). Find someone to talk to, a game to play, or anything else that can hold your attention, even if it's only for a few minutes. That's what you need
Step 4. Don't listen to emotional music or watch emotional movies
Trying to forget someone is managing rapid mood swings and depression. Now you may feel that you are in a vulnerable position. The last thing you need is external stimulation that amplifies your emotions, so listen to fast-paced music and watch a TV show or movie that makes you feel better.
Ask your friends to pay attention to this. They can help provide light things to avoid such things. When you need a boost, call your friends, and they know what to do to make you feel better
Step 5. Respect yourself
The person you are trying to forget may have done the wrong thing. In the end, he doesn't value you the way he should. He is not someone you should be in your life. By respecting yourself, it will be easier to realize it. He doesn't treat you well and that's the truth. You can only be surrounded by people who treat you well.
With your self-worth in mind, it will be much easier to get started. Remember: you are an awesome person! The world is in front of you and full of opportunities. What will you do next?
Part 3 of 3: Returning Happiness
Step 1. Pursue your interests
Get yourself back on track by replacing the time you've spent with him (or you've spent thinking about him) with new activities. Take up a hobby you've always wanted to do, join a school sports league, start a new workout. Whatever it is, the activity you do should be interesting and exciting so you don't think about anything else.
Mastering a new ability and improving yourself will make you feel happy. You may feel like you've become like a new and better person, and too good to be owned by the person you've forgotten about, increasing your self-esteem. Improving yourself is the best thing to do in this situation for you, your self-esteem, and your peace of mind
Step 2. Eat well and exercise
Have you ever had a time where you couldn't stop eating junk food and the only thing you could do was sit on the couch and watch television? And the results must be bad. Being lazy and in an unhealthy condition will feel sad. Eating well and exercising make it much easier for you to feel energized and think positively about your surroundings and yourself.
- Eat a diet consisting mostly of fruit, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats. Balance between fiber, protein, complex carbohydrates, and healthy fats (such as those in fish, nuts, or olive oil). Avoid processed foods that will give you strength at first, but will only make you weak afterwards.
- Do exercise 30 minutes a day, can be by walking, swimming, running, or even dancing or cleaning the house. Do it in small portions if your schedule does not allow for large portions. Even if it's just a small activity such as parking a vehicle far from the gate, after a long time it will give maximum results.
Step 3. Surround yourself with friends and family
The best way to keep your mind busy, your schedule busy, and yourself positive, is to surround yourself with amazing people who genuinely care about you. Whether it's your mom, your sister, your best friend, the theater troupe, the basketball team, keep in touch with them. They will keep you laughing and help you realize that you have a million things going on inside of you.
When you feel like seeking shelter and hiding, allow yourself to stay at home for about an hour, then say yes when you receive an invitation, go outside, and socialize with other people. At first, you won't like it, but eventually, you'll be glad you did
Step 4. Give yourself a chance
The human brain is amazing at self-healing. There is an old adage that says “time will heal all wounds”, it is always true and always will be. The brain begins to focus on the present, forgets the past, and often adjusts the past if necessary. So, all of this takes time. Your brain will do its job if you are patient.
The grieving process is natural and usually has to be passed. There are five stages, and all of them take time. Be patient with yourself. You will notice the progress as time passes
Step 5. Forgive and forget
In the end, forgetting someone is something that is almost impossible to do if you can't forget them. If you followed all of the steps above and still can't forget, learn to forgive. He is only human and everything has happened. Life must go on.
Don't forget to forgive yourself. Most of us are more easily offended by ourselves than we are to others. Remember, at the time, you were doing what felt right. He also did the same. No one is to blame or to blame. The past is in the past and will remain there. That's the best. That way, you are free to rise
Tips
- Forgetting someone can help you bounce back, but try not to forget what you learned from the relationship. No time is wasted while you are learning something.
- Don't try to contact him. He may try to contact you but stick to your decision and don't let him come back. Remember the reason why you stayed away from him.
- It's hard to forget a long-standing relationship. However, you should know that you deserve better, and no one is perfect. Understand that life must go on and so must the people in it.
- Don't obsess over getting "answers". Disconnect now and resist the urge to use excessive means like sending a “farewell email”). Anyway, stop everything.
- Do other activities that are different from the activities you have done with them. Start doing new things.
- Don't try to hate the person. When you try to hate it, then your mind will be obsessed and captivated by it so that it will tempt you to think about it every moment and every second. As a result, you won't be able to forget it and get distracted instead. Don't listen to music when you're restless, as it will complicate things.
- Don't try to get your stuff back. You shouldn't call him to get your stuff back, unless it's a diamond ring or a one-of-a-kind item. DVDs, clothes, toothbrushes, ignore it all. It's just an ordinary thing. Don't trade your self-respect for worthless things.
- Don't rush into a new relationship to forget the last one. This method will always fail.
Warning
- Never use violence.
- If it's been months you still can't stop thinking about it, consult a psychologist.
