When life seems stuck, it's best to stop doubting and start taking action. You may also notice that moving on with life is easier said than done. Even so, immediately start changing your life by letting go of your perfectionism and setting goals for yourself.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Setting Realistic Goals
Step 1. Start small
Commit to what can be done now. If you're having trouble running 6km, start at a distance that you can afford. Instead of saying, "I'm going to run 6km tomorrow," say "I'm going to run 1km tomorrow. Every day, I will run further than the day before.”
Step 2. Define your goal
If your goals are vague, chances are they won't be achieved. However, if you set specific and measurable goals, you can commit to achieving them. SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, results-focused, and time-bound) methods are very useful in setting your goals. This step will discuss the "specific" factor.
- For example, your goal might be “Running twenty minutes a day to improve your health and reach 5K within one year."
- Be sure to break down your goals into small steps. If your commitment is to run a half marathon, and you've never run before, you're bound to fail. Start with small steps until you reach your goal, for example, start with a 5-minute stretch run.
Step 3. Make sure the goals are measurable and attainable
The letters "M" and "A" in SMART are "measurable" and "achievable". Measurable means that the achievement of goals can be measured with certainty. For example, set a goal of 'run 5K by a certain date,' which can be easily measured. In addition, goals must also be realistic so that they can be achieved. Otherwise, you will not try to reach it. If the goal is 'run the marathon until next week,' the goal will not be achieved.
Step 4. Make sure your goals are results focused
The main driver of the goal is the end result to be achieved, and not the process of achieving it. In this case, the main goal is running 5K, not running every day.
Step 5. Create a time limit for achieving your goals
The letter "T" stands for SMART is time limit or time limit. If you don't have a deadline for achieving it, you'll be less enthusiastic about achieving it because the goal seems vague. In order for the process of achieving goals to be measurable, a time limit must be set.
In this case, the time limit for running 5K is a year
Step 6. Act on purpose
Once the goals are set, it's time to make them happen. Start achieving small goals that have been set. Try to do it every day consistently
Step 7. Praise yourself
After achieving something, reward yourself. You can give credit for working hard and well.
Step 8. Don't be afraid to raise the bar
If you are consistent, your goals will be achieved over time. In the process, new, higher goals may be set. For example, if you've previously been running 20 minutes a day, you can increase it to 25 minutes a day if you want and can afford it.
Step 9. Reward yourself
When the goal is achieved, give rewards for working hard and well. The reward is up to you, starting from a good book or coffee, just the things you like. For example, your goal might be to run 20 minutes a day a week. When the goal is achieved, please reward yourself.
Part 2 of 4: Motivating Yourself
Step 1. Challenge yourself to action
Actions that are new and outside your comfort zone are certainly scary enough. Therefore, staying silent does feel safer. But think about what will happen if you don't act. If the same actions are repeated over and over again, what are the negative impacts? For example, maybe you will get stuck in the same pattern that you don't like.
Take a piece of paper. Write down the negative effects of not taking action
Step 2. Focus on the long term
Right now, you're focusing on the things that please yourself, and don't take any action because it makes you uncomfortable. Take a look at the long term benefits. What happens if the action is taken?
On the same piece of paper, create a column with the heading "advantages." Write down the benefits of taking action. For example, you could write "Find a new job."
Step 3. Go explore
If you're confused about how to move on with your life, maybe you just need to get out there and try new things. Take courses, read books. Try new hobbies. Getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things will help bring your life back on track.
Step 4. Learn to tolerate uncertainty
If you can't tolerate uncertainty, you'll spend a lot of time indecisive and trying to rid yourself of the uncertainty that is bound to happen. It is better to learn to tolerate uncertainty, so that energy can be focused on achieving goals.
- Start by noting what behaviors are performed to reduce uncertainty. For example, maybe you usually double check your email before it's sent or eat only at restaurants known for not trying new foods that might not taste good. Once the behaviors have been identified, write them down on a list and rank them according to the level of your reluctance to get rid of the habit.
- Try eliminating or changing habits that are at the bottom of the list. For example, ask a friend to plan a dinner party or send an email without double-checking the contents.
- Record how many times you have successfully changed or eliminated the behavior on the list, and how you feel about it. Maybe you feel happy or even more anxious. However, you should be quite satisfied with the results, even if the process doesn't go as smoothly as you'd like.
- Continue this way until you can tolerate the uncertainty in life.
Part 3 of 4: Stop Procrastinating
Step 1. Start with the easiest step
When you see a task that you don't want to do, of course you will feel lazy. However, try to take part in those tasks that are easiest and you don't really hate. Just by starting, the great obstacle had already been overcome. Plus, you'll feel like you've accomplished something.
Step 2. Don't be a procrastinator
You're officially a procrastinator if you admit that. In other words, because you think you procrastinate, you will act like a procrastinator. Counter this mindset by saying, “this work must be done without delay.”
Step 3. Give yourself consequences
Procrastination only feels good for a moment. You are delaying long-term happiness for short-term happiness. However, if you give yourself short-term consequences, you will stay motivated. For example, every time you fail to meet your daily goals, evening television shows are also canceled.
Step 4. Don't cheer yourself up for failing to reach your goal
Procrastination comes in many forms. Sometimes, procrastination shows up as productivity in other activities that are not aligned with the goal. You need to challenge yourself when you feel lazy to reach your goals. For example, one day you might say, "I didn't run today, but I walked a lot at the mall." A walk in the mall doesn't help you reach your destination at all.
Step 5. Take a different inner approach
Often, when procrastinating on a job, the excuse is, "It's such a hassle." Change this mindset by saying "Oh, it's not that hard at all," or "Maybe this job will be fun."
Part 4 of 4: Letting Go of Perfectionism
Step 1. Redirect your thoughts
Perfectionism means that everything has to be perfect the way you want it to be. The problem is, this mindset can sometimes keep you from acting at all. The first step is to admit that you are trying to be a perfectionist, improve your actions and try to change your mindset.
- Start by making a list of all the good things that come with being a perfectionist. For example, maybe a good report card score.
- Next, make a list of the bad things that come with being a perfectionist. Think of the worst things that have ever happened or might happen. For example, you may feel that you are about to lose your job. Do a reality check on each point, e.g. “It is unlikely that I will lose my job because of one small thing.”
Step 2. Stop the uncompromising mindset
Perfectionism makes you think that if a task can't be done perfectly, it's better not to do it at all. Reflect on this understanding once again, does that mindset benefit you, or is it very detrimental?
For example, let's say you want to bake a cake for a child. If you've been trying to make perfect cakes and you've failed to the point of wanting to throw them in the trash, stop and think for a moment. Does your child prefer a slightly charred cake, or do not eat cake at all?
Step 3. Don't rate achievements too high
If you measure your self-worth by external achievements and rewards, you are likely to be disappointed. Instead, what is needed is a genuine sense of self-worth.
- Make the list one more time. This time, write down the things you like about yourself. You can write "animal lover" or "nice to talk to."
- One way to reduce the value of achievement is to learn to love yourself. That is, respect yourself as you respect others. Talk to yourself in a positive way, as if you were talking to someone else. For example, instead of saying "Wow, I'm really ugly today," say "My hair looks great today." You have to look for the positive in yourself.
- In other words, accept yourself as you are. Everyone has positive and negative qualities, including you. Learn to accept them as part of who you are, and you love all of those qualities, although there may be some qualities that you would like to improve.
