Interacting with a psychopath can be scary, but there are ways to protect yourself so you don't become a victim. Psychopath is one of the antisocial personality disorders so that he is unable to empathize, ignores rules, and behaves impulsively. If you are forced to deal with a psychopath, keep the interaction calm. Don't be influenced by his behavior because if you are angry, this will show him that he is able to control you. Seek help if you feel threatened. Also, try to find out the characteristics of people who can be physically or emotionally abusive.
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Method 1 of 3: Disconnecting with a Psychopath
Step 1. Call emergency services if your safety is at stake
Seek help immediately if he threatens to hurt you, others, or yourself. Take his threats seriously even though he has never committed violence.
- People with antisocial personality disorder do not all commit physical violence, but this condition is always associated with sudden aggressive behavior and reckless actions.
- Threatening suicide is a tactic used by psychopaths to manipulate the emotions of others. Call emergency services right away if he seems to really want to hurt himself.
- Set boundaries consistently if the threat of suicide is being used to control you or he has done this many times. Tell him that you are not responsible for his actions and do not let him control you.
Step 2. Remember that you don't need to be held responsible for his actions
Psychopaths are people who are experts at manipulating, deceiving, and blaming others. This problem is not because you are naive or weak. Instead of blaming yourself, realize that he has misbehaved with you and that he himself should be held accountable for his actions.
- Keep in mind that psychopaths are usually friendly and attractive at first. For the first few weeks, he pretends to be nice until you finally realize that something is wrong with him. For example, if you don't see him for a few days and then ask to find out where he is, he will get angry, behave rudely, and ask you not to interfere.
- Know that many people experience this type of treatment, not just you. Psychopaths tend to ignore the interests of others and regard others as objects. Keep in mind that you are not the first person to be mistreated.
Step 3. Trust your gut if your relationship seems to be in trouble
Listen to your heart if you feel uncomfortable when you meet him. Disconnect if interaction with him triggers fear.
- Maybe you think things are okay because you feel good when he's being nice. However, see if he is being nice because you helped him. For example, he may ask you to take him somewhere, but you refuse his request because you can't help. If he's angry, maybe he's being nice to you just to get what he wants.
- Remember that you don't necessarily have a fear attack. Listen to your heart if he's always blaming you, lying a lot, taking advantage of you, suddenly being aggressive, or just doesn't care about your physical or mental health.
Step 4. Begin setting and maintaining personal boundaries
Psychopaths are used to imposing their will and breaking boundaries, especially if they don't know those boundaries. If you want to continue the relationship, set boundaries and apply them consistently. Take time to observe your emotional state and then use it to set boundaries to protect yourself from manipulating or ignoring your feelings.
- For example, rearrange the interior of the house so that the atmosphere doesn't remind you of people who manipulate you. Set boundaries by refusing to be in a relationship or using a joint bank account until the two of you are in therapy for couples.
- You have the right to object, not to explain, and to defend your position.
- Set boundaries that make you feel physically, mentally, and financially secure.
Step 5. Delete or block all his contacts while disconnecting
The best way to deal with a psychopath is to stay away from him and things related to him. Disconnect and stop communicating with him again. Even though it may sound bad, this is the best way to maintain physical and mental health.
- Don't open their accounts on social media or contact them by calling or texting them so they don't doubt your decision. People who have abused you emotionally, verbally, or financially don't deserve to be a part of your life.
- Breaking up is not easy, but stick with it and don't beat yourself up. Realize that you are making this decision to protect yourself, not to ignore it.
- Remember that you cannot change it because you are not a counselor or psychologist treating it. People with antisocial personality disorder are very difficult to change if they do not undergo professional therapy. However, many sufferers refuse to undergo therapy.
Step 6. Make a plan to protect yourself if he tends to be violent
If you're worried about being abused when you break up, do so over the phone or by email. If you live with him, ask a family member or good friend to help you free yourself from this problem in a safe way.
- Memorize important phone numbers and if possible, have a second cell phone ready, but keep the number a secret. Before leaving the house, put all important documents in your bag and transfer money and savings to a new account.
- Make a duplicate car key and then hide it in a safe place.
- Stay at a friend's or relative's house. If this is not possible, look for a shelter for victims of domestic violence.
Step 7. Request a restraining order if you feel unsafe
Depending on the applicable regulations, meet with the officer authorized to issue a restraining order as protection in an emergency. Seek information by calling or reading the website to determine if you need to make an appointment.
- Ask a good friend or family member to accompany you for moral support.
- You don't have to hire a lawyer or spend money to get a restraining order.
- Provide your office and home address. Bring supporting evidence, such as medical bills, photos, or police reports.
Step 8. Rely on supportive people
Breaking up with someone is not always easy and breaking free from a troubled relationship is usually very difficult. Ask for support from good friends and family members so that you can handle the problem well. Express everything you feel while spending quality time with him. The psychopath will try to isolate the victim, but those closest to you can be objective and convince you that breaking up is the best solution.
Look for communities that provide support to victims of physical or emotional abuse
Method 2 of 3: Dealing with Psychopaths At Work or School
Step 1. Don't believe the reasons or explanations he gives
Psychopaths use any means to fulfill their desires and not be blamed, such as lying, manipulating, and distorting facts without feeling guilty. Don't just believe what he says.
- Think about why he invites you to interact by telling something, gossiping, or providing an explanation. As much as possible, double-check by asking friends or coworkers. Look for information on the internet to ensure the truth of what he said. If you don't have time to confirm, listen to your heart.
- For example, he may say that your co-workers are gossiping about you. Ask yourself what his motivation is for doing this, what he wants from you, and whether this information can be trusted. Also ask if he has good intentions or wants to provoke a detrimental conflict.
Step 2. Watch out if he compliments you
Respond to compliments with a sense of sanction, especially excessive praise. Characteristics that are very prominent in psychopaths are good at communicating, fun, and humorous. Usually, they seem to be nice as a tactic to get their wishes fulfilled.
- Be careful about responding to his flattery and compliments. Think about what he'd be like if he wasn't using his charisma to get things done. Ask yourself what you have to do to prove that he is manipulating you by complimenting.
- For example, don't get carried away if he showers you with compliments and asks you to lend him money or help him out. Tell him, "Sorry, I have a personal rule when it comes to lending money to friends, relatives, and coworkers" or "Sorry, I can't help because I have a lot of work to do."
Step 3. Don't fight with him
Show that you don't want to respond if he intimidates or threatens you. Psychopaths need to control others psychologically and physically. For this, he uses persuasion, intimidation, manipulation, and violence to demonstrate power. If there was a fight, the situation would be more problematic. Plus, it makes him feel satisfied that he's managed to control you.
- If you feel insecure, talk to your teacher or school counselor. If the psychopath is a co-worker, explain the matter to your personnel manager or supervisor.
- If you are a teacher teaching students to misbehave, don't let them ignore school rules. Explain that he has to follow the rules, let him know the consequences, and ask the administration to penalize him if he commits a serious offence.
Step 4. Do the interaction calmly and patiently
If you are forced to interact with a psychopath, try to control your emotions. Anger shows that he is able to control you. Instead, show respect when you talk to him and control your anger even if his behavior is very bad.
- For example, if he makes a mistake and then blames you, don't respond by shouting, "Liar! You were wrong!"
- Instead, say calmly, "I see what you mean." If there is a supervisor or teacher accompanying you, provide facts that prove your innocence with a rational explanation.
Step 5. Suggest that you be transferred to another department if you are unable to work with or interact with them
If problems at school get worse, ask a teacher, counselor, or trusted adult for help.
- The best way to avoid troublesome people is to stay away from them, but that may not be possible, for example, because work makes you both work together or they are looking for you at work/school.
- Asking your boss for help or changing jobs/schools may seem overwhelming, but it's especially useful if you've been the victim of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse.
Method 3 of 3: Knowing the Characteristics of a Psychopath
Step 1. See if he wants to follow the rules
The main characteristic of people with antisocial personality disorder is the habit of violating social rules, laws, and norms. Psychopaths understand the existence of rules or laws, but do not understand that they are bound by what society considers right and wrong.
Remember that people who steal candy or break a red light are not all psychopaths. Breaking the rules is not the same as the habit of ignoring laws or norms without feeling guilty
Step 2. Observe if he seems very arrogant or feels superior to others
Violation of laws and social norms is caused by extreme pride. People who have antisocial personality disorder think the rules don't apply to them and justify any actions that are in accordance with their wishes. He never felt guilty even though he had broken the law or manipulated others.
Step 3. Notice if he behaves impulsively and irresponsibly
People with antisocial personality disorder tend to do risky reckless acts because they don't understand that they have to obey the rules. They are also used to taking drugs and alcohol. Psychopaths hardly think twice before making a decision and it's easy to say, "I did it because I wanted to."
Remember that people who like to get drunk or speed on the highway are not necessarily psychopaths. Antisocial personality disorder occurs due to several complex behavior patterns. Only mental health professionals trained in abnormal psychology and experienced in dealing with psychopathy can make an accurate diagnosis
Step 4. See if he likes to fuss and engage in emotional manipulation
Friends or lovers who like to make fun of it do so by trying to make you believe that your thoughts and perceptions are wrong. As a result, you feel insecure, always want to apologize, willing to take the blame, and always justify friends or partners.
- Situations like this might make you feel like something's not right or you're losing yourself. If you believe that you are a victim of being blamed or emotionally manipulated, talk to someone close to you or a mental health professional who can help you think objectively.
- Psychopaths try to get what they want by manipulating emotions and controlling other people because this makes them feel great or feel like a victim.
Step 5. Be alert when in high-risk situations
Avoid dangerous situations that make someone a potential psychopathic victim because they seem lonely, looking for entertainment, or wanting company, such as at an international airport, a bar for single people, looking for a date through a website or app.
- Being alert doesn't mean being paranoid every time you're in a public place. Instead, pay attention to his attitude and listen to his heart. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, leave immediately and find a safe and well-lit public area.
- Tell your friends where to go before you go on a date. Don't give out personal information, don't lend money, or allow people to take valuables with you that you don't know.
- If the relationship continues, treat the first lie, broken promise, or irresponsibility as a misunderstanding. You need to be suspicious if he does it again. Disconnect if he does it up to 3 times.
Step 6. Recognize that psychopathy is a mental disorder, not a moral judgment
The behavior of people with antisocial personality disorder is usually unacceptable and interactions with them are unpleasant. Antisocial behavior or psychopathy is not something "evil" or "bad," but a psychological term that describes a mental health disorder.
- While you need to distinguish between the terms psychology and moral judgment, remember that you don't have to interact with people who are abusive or violent towards you.
- Mental health disorders cannot be used as an excuse to justify a person's behavior. Whether antisocial people are able to control their behavior is still a complex and controversial topic. However, never tolerate arbitrary treatment.
Tips
- Dealing with friends or relatives who have serious mental disorders is not easy. A counselor can help you understand the disorder and explain how to avoid dangerous situations.
- People with antisocial personality disorder are not all violent. You can tell if he has a temper tantrum and behaves arbitrarily. Make sure you take threats and verbal or emotional abuse seriously.
- Antisocial personality disorder affects 3% of the population. This happens at all levels of society and economic level. In contrast to sociopaths, psychopaths are more reliable and are less likely to be violent or have tantrums.
