Everyone has a different idea of what it means to be great. For one, it means getting on stage and singing on Broadway, for another it means saving lives by working as a Triage nurse. While only you can determine what will make you great, there are some clear similarities between the lives of great people! See Step 1 to get started.
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Method 1 of 3: Great in Personal Life
Step 1. Be passionate
You need to bring passion into all areas of life. This passion will help you to be passionate about what you do and what you experience. Being passionate about something is also a great way to find friends and love partners, because people are attracted to those who are passionate about everything.
- Find out what you like. This can be anything from cooking, to video games, to saving whales.
- You have to go out and try new things to find out what you are interested in. For example: you can take a free lecture at your local university on global climate change and become passionate about saving the planet. You won't find this passion if you don't step out of your usual comfort zone and try something new.
- You can also share your hobbies with other people. Get your friends interested in your interests, or go online and find like-minded people who are interested in your hobby. There are tons of websites out there devoted to everything from rock climbing to knitting. You can even look around to see if there are groups that devote time to the same hobbies as you, or avenues for forming new groups (such as writers' groups, or quilt makers).
Step 2. Cultivate gratitude
Being grateful for everything in life is a major way to improve your physical and mental health. This does not mean that everything in your life has to run smoothly. In fact, many of the most grateful people are those who have experienced a life-changing (usually "bad") trauma or event, such as an illness or the death of a loved one.
- Keep a gratitude journal. This means that every day you write between 3 to 5 things you are grateful for. It could be something as simple as “the sun warmed me today” or “I have bacon for breakfast” or something big like “I got engaged today” or “my book was accepted and will be published”. Make sure you take time to think about the things you are grateful for.
- Say “thank you” to the people you talk to all day: the waitress who served lunch, the woman who held the door for you, your child who cooked dinner. By spreading gratitude, you're not only showing yourself everything you have to be grateful for (even the little things), but you're also spreading that appreciation to everyone you meet.
- It is impossible to feel fear/anxiety and appreciation at the same time. Instilling gratitude means that you are better prepared to face the more difficult aspects of life in a healthy and effective way.
Step 3. Change what you can
Much of everything that happens is completely out of your control. That's why it's important for you to maintain control over the things you can control. This includes: your attitude towards life, work, how you spend your free time, the people in your life, and so on.
- Attitude is very important. You can have the “worst” life and still live well, because attitude matters. Don't focus on life's problems, unless you're using them as lessons for change. Instead, focus on the good things.
- This doesn't mean you should ignore things when things go wrong, or that you shouldn't be allowed to feel bad about things. It means you don't sink into misery over the things you can't change.
- Trust your instincts. If your current job, residence, relationship doesn't feel right, see if there are ways to make it better (i.e. talk to your boss about your job, discuss relationships, and so on). If you can't make things better, maybe it's time to go and find a different job, a different apartment, or a different relationship.
Step 4. Keep learning
Sharpening the mind and keeping the brain sharp is a great way to maintain mental health, for example reducing the likelihood of Alzheimer's. By continuing to learn and develop as a person you open up even more possibilities.
- Learn from mistakes. Whenever you get rejected, screw something up, fail, assess what went wrong and what you could do better in the future. Mistakes are not the end of the world and if you keep that in mind, you will have less fear of failure. Example: if you're trying to make a souffle and it's very flat, you can open the recipe again and see that you missed a step, or didn't follow the instructions the way you should. This is tantamount to all kinds of failures in life.
- The more effort you put into studying your passions, the more likely you are to find other people who are also interested in the same thing. By taking a class on a subject you truly enjoy, or going to a convention, or joining a chat room on a subject, you'll be communicating your passion while learning!
- There are many free or inexpensive ways to keep learning. You can enroll in a free program like the Open University where you can take free online classes on almost any subject. You can also check what your city has to offer. Many communities hold free lectures at museums or universities, or libraries. Sometimes there are also offers of opportunities to learn various things.
Step 5. Live healthy
You need to maintain the best possible health if you want to be great. Again, there are certain things you can't change (like a disease that comes from nowhere) but maintaining a healthy lifestyle can help you cope with these types of conditions. If you don't have a serious illness, a healthy lifestyle can increase your energy and make your life easier to deal with.
- Eat right. Choose good and healthy foods such as vegetables and fruits, especially green and colorful leafy vegetables such as red peppers, swiss chard, carrots. Get plenty of protein with an emphasis on low-fat meats like chicken. You can also get protein as well as fat from nuts (almonds and walnuts are best), eggs, or soybeans. As for carbohydrates, avoid refined white flour and you should choose brown rice, oats, whole grains (Ezekiel bread is very good).
- Enough sleep. Today, most people operate in a sleep deprived state. It means you are not functioning to the level you should be able to reach! Try to get at least 8 hours of sleep every night. Have a fixed bedtime (preferably before 11pm) and a fixed wake-up time. Turn off all electronics (phones, computers, iPods, etc.) at least 30 minutes before bed, so you don't mess with your sleep cycle.
- Drink water. Dehydration has a bad effect on the body. The condition makes you sleepy and confused, headaches and difficulty concentrating. Try to drink at least 8 glasses of water every day. You want your urine to be pale yellow. Sugary or caffeinated drinks will only make you more dehydrated.
- Sport. Should not make exercise a routine to lose weight, but for health benefits. Exercise releases chemicals, such as endorphins, that improve your mood so you feel happier. Find a sport you like. This exercise can be anything from wall climbing at the gym, or running, or even putting on music and dancing. Do it for 30 minutes every day.
Step 6. Take responsibility for your actions
One thing that is very important to be great is to be responsible for what you do and feel. Remember, no one owes you any debt (neither respect, sex, nor love) than a debt of courtesy and the same goes for you.
- Don't blame others when things go wrong. It's possible they had a hand, but it's probably not entirely their fault. Admitting your own mistakes and taking responsibility will make people see you as a team player, someone who can handle things properly.
- Again, remember, it's not the situation that's the problem, it's your reaction to the situation. Even the worst situations can be handled in a positive way. Example: many people who are diagnosed with a severe and life-threatening illness find that the disease removes many pretensions from their lives, enabling them to live more total and meaningful lives.
- This doesn't mean you shouldn't feel irritated, angry, or sad. It just means that you don't put the blame for that emotion on someone else. No one can make you feel anything. (Of course there are instances when someone does irreparable harm [such as assault, abuse, rape], deal with it in a way that will give you [legal] justice and allow you to recover.)
Method 2 of 3: Achieving Great Things
Step 1. Find out what you want to do
The world values people who work and perhaps you will spend most of your life working. It means you need to find something you love, or you have to find a way to do your job in a way that makes you happy.
- Consider the things you are interested in. If you're really interested in social welfare, try getting a degree in law or social science and working for some kind of nonprofit organization. If music is your passion then you can set up music camps for disadvantaged children, or give music therapy to dying patients.
- If you are stranded in a job you hate, start looking for another job. You don't have to quit your job right away, and it's generally a good idea to have a backup job before you leave your first job. It's best to keep an open mind to the job you're in, because you never know what will happen in the near future.
- If you're in a tough job and can't leave it, try and find ways to make it easier. If you have a difficult boss, annoying customers, a very boring job, try and find creative solutions to those difficulties. For example: for boring jobs, find reasons why work is important (you feed people, clean up other people's mess, help people get loans so they can have amazing lives!). Remind yourself of those reasons when work makes you unhappy.
Step 2. Set goals
Although plans often change quickly, you must have a fixed goal that you want to achieve. You should also try to achieve that goal as best you can, regardless of other things happening in your life.
- Have a list of goals, in order from most important to least important. Those goals could be things like: Running a 10km marathon, getting a job at a publishing company, and making a constellation blanket for a king-size bed.
- Strive to achieve your goals. If you want to work in publishing, don't look for job opportunities half-heartedly. Find out what to do to get the job you want. Get the required degree and experience, find internships and start-ups, show that you're willing to do something more.
Step 3. Create a time frame
You need to make sure there is a clear, specific plan for achieving that goal and a time frame for achieving it. Again, this doesn't mean you can't adjust those time frames or goals, or that things can't change. However, this means that you maintain focus and can prove your accomplishments.
- For example: if you want to run a 10 km marathon, you have to choose the right time and place to do it. You have to set a specific time frame for practicing. How far and fast should you run? And when? Are you ready for the marathon? Have you registered? Each time you cross those items off the list, you get closer and closer to your goal and succeed.
- Review goals and timeframes monthly. What do you still need to achieve? What should be adjusted to make the goal more achievable? What has changed since you last checked the list and what have you accomplished since then?
Step 4. Use positive thoughts
Visualization may sound silly, but it actually works. It's a technique that many famous people use to help themselves succeed, like Mohammad Ali.
- Visualization helps the brain be ready for the actual physical action, whether it's getting a raise or asking a good-looking guy out. Visualization practices can help increase your confidence, motivation, and prepare you for success.
- Every night, right before bed, sit up straight and visualize yourself succeeding in your goals and in life. Visualize it all as if you were actually there (getting a raise, giving a successful speech, asking a girl out). Use your five senses: what does it smell like? What sound can you hear? Who was with you there? What are you wearing? Every night when you do this combine with positive affirmations: “I'm super confident”, “I'm a great publishing assistant”, “I'm an awesome runner”.
Step 5. Celebrate your achievements
When striving for greatness, you need to take the time to acknowledge and celebrate the things you have accomplished. This achievement does not have to be a big, life-shaking event. Simple and mundane events like “successfully kept the house clean for 3 whole months” are also included.
Think again of the last 24 hours. What were your great accomplishments in that time period? The accomplishments can be something as simple as “making a delicious and nutritious dinner” to as big as “not giving up on dancing.”
Step 6. Be creative
Creativity is the key to success in life and greatness comes from creativity. Creativity comes from having the flexibility of the mind to consider options other than the obvious. People who use creativity in their lives tend to find it easier to overcome obstacles.
- Think differently. People tend to get stuck in thinking how to use something. Look at the objects in your house and think of other uses for them to get your brain used to seeing things differently. For example, you can make a terrarium from the front cover of a clear plastic CD.
- One thing that hinders creativity is the fear of failure. To work around it, think of an obstacle or problem without being bound by limitations. The following questions can help open up possibilities for you: “If I could turn to anyone in the world for help, who would I turn to? If I had access to all the equipment, what would I use? What risky solution would I try if there wasn't a chance it would fail?"
- Daydream. This process helps form connections and remember information, and is not just a meaningless activity. Taking time to let your mind wander can help you come up with better and more creative ideas. You can daydream while walking, before falling asleep at night, or even for a few minutes at work.
Step 7. Take risks
If you want to be great in your own mind and life, you must be willing to take risks and welcome the possibility of failure. Not a single successful person in life is where they are now because everything went 100% smoothly for them (yes, some people have advantages, but that doesn't mean they don't take risks).
- get along. Be open to new people about who you are and what you do. Don't hide your passions and interests. When you are open to life and all its vulnerabilities, you are also opening yourself up to success and new things.
- Of course, you have to be smart about the risks you take. For example, jumping from the top of a 50-story building without a rope or other means of safety is a type of risk that will result in death or serious injury. This kind of risk is not recommended.
Method 3 of 3: Cultivating a Strong Social System
Step 1. Find a community
Community doesn't always mean the people in your hometown or town. Community means a group of people who support you. Being part of a community can really help you live a longer and happier life and make you feel less alone.
- This is where your passion comes into play. You can find suitable communities and places based on what interests you. Example: if you're interested in social justice, you might find like-minded people in your area or at rallies, or by volunteering for nonprofits.
- You can also find communities online, or places like Reddit or Tumblr, for example. Many of these places have a search function that can help you find people who share your interests more easily. All you have to do is initiate contact and take steps to talk to them.
- Do not burn the connecting bridge. You don't have to keep toxic people in your life, but not dumping people can dramatically benefit you in the long run. Even toxic people can do something like write a recommendation for you, or introduce you to someone else. This doesn't mean you don't have the right to protect yourself. If someone acts in a threatening or insulting manner towards you, you have the right to fight back and remove them from your life completely.
- Remember the 30/30/30 rule. Basically this rule says that 1/3 of the people you meet will like you; 1/3 will hate you no matter what you do; The remaining 1/3 won't matter what the circumstances are. Work on strengthening your relationship with the 1/3 people who like you and forget about the rest.
Step 2. Be the friend you wish you had
Instead of worrying about what kind of friends you have, be the person you want to have as a friend. People will respond to such friendships and you will find that you attract the kind of friends you want.
- Support your friends. When something good happens to them, celebrate with them without the sting of envy. When something unpleasant happens, make sure you are there to help them.
- Tell your friends what they mean to you. Be open about their importance in your life, without worrying about whether they feel the same way. Example: You can tell your friend how much he means to you by writing a letter detailing all the amazing things about him. You can also say to a friend, “I don't know what I would do without you. You always manage to make me laugh, even when I'm feeling down."
Step 3. Learn to listen
Good listening is a skill that most people don't learn, or not until they are much older. This means that when you are talking to someone you are really listening and thinking about what they are saying instead of being distracted by thoughts about the dinner menu or what they want to do next. You say.
- This is called active listening. To do that you must avoid distractions in the form of things happening around you. If your attention is distracted, ask the person to repeat what they just said.
- Ask questions and listen to the answers. Instead of responding right away with a story or your own thoughts, ask follow-up questions and keep doing it. People will see that you are interested in what they have to say.
- Maintain eye contact and try not to fidget or check your phone (especially this last one). Too many people just listen with partial attention.
Step 4. Show a good attitude
This is a tricky thing, because it's so easy to get swayed and forget that other people usually do the best they can, just like you. Being kind doesn't always have to mean giving in or "pleasing." This means giving other people a favorable opinion and trying to see things from a different perspective.
- Example: When an obnoxious person grabs you at a red light, instead of getting into annoyance (and maybe holding up a middle finger), give them a favorable opinion. Maybe they don't see you. Maybe their minds are distracted by bad news at work, or at home. Maybe they're just grumpy people, in which case they deserve your sympathy, because their lives are guaranteed to be harder than yours because they can't let things happen.
- Being kind means not gossiping behind other people's backs, being frank when someone irritates you instead of fighting back with passive aggression. This means that you don't have to excel in arguments, and really listen to their side of the story. This doesn't mean you accept rudeness from other people.
- Be kind to yourself as to others. Write down a list of things you keep telling yourself (“I'm ugly”, “I'm a loser”). You won't (hopefully) say those things to anyone else, so you shouldn't say them to yourself. When you want to say it, stop and spin your mind. Instead say "I thought that I was a loser, but now I know that it was just a random thought and not true."
- Don't compare yourself to other people. There will always be people who are more successful than you in life and if you keep comparing yourself to people you feel are more successful, you will become very unhappy. You will also start to hate them, which is the exact opposite of kindness.
Step 5. Be honest
Honesty is an act of courage and trying to live life this way means that you are great no matter what you do as a job or what you achieve. You don't have to be cruel to be honest. Again, you're treating your opinion with kindness, but that means you're not being sweet.
Example: if you're at work and make one mistake, it might be easy to cover up that mistake and pretend it wasn't you. However, it is not honest. Act with integrity and admit your own mistakes and set an example of how to correct them
Step 6. Provide assistance
This is a very important part of being great. Giving back to the community (whatever it is) helps foster an atmosphere of giving and ensures that all members of the community are taken care of. Philanthropy actually helps maintain your health and better mental state.
- Help friends and family. Offer to take your grandmother to the doctor, babysit your friend's child so she can date her partner, clean your sister's house when she's really busy.
- Volunteer work in the community. This could be something like working in a soup kitchen, or a shelter. It could also be for an important arts nonprofit, or for a local social justice group. You can also donate money and goods, even small amounts can make a big difference.
- Do something for strangers. Something this could be as simple as donating to someone's health fund, or secretly buying drinks for the person in line behind you. Do this anonymously, so the impetus is in the action and not the congratulations for doing it.
Tips
- Being great is not being better than everyone else. Have the same feelings as other people. Give help. Great means being true to yourself and being the best you can be.
- Hang out with people who think you're great. Don't turn into someone you don't want to impress others. This is the first step towards living a life full of lies and makes yourself unhappy.
