Scorpios are among the most privacy-conscious. Even though you feel like you know him, there are still layers of mystery inside of him. But once you start to peel away those layers, Scorpions have a depth of emotion that's hard to match. If you want to know how to get closer to this elusive guy, you can learn what it takes to understand, talk to, and date a Scorpio.
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Part 1 of 3: Understanding Scorpio
Step 1. Learn how to identify Scorpio personality traits
Scorpios are very strong individuals who exhibit the determination and energy of Mars, as well as the dark energy of Pluto. Scorpio men tend to have a calm and brooding intensity. Usually you won't find him playing the role of a silly clown. In general, Scorpios will exhibit the following qualities:
- Loyalty
- Minds
- Intensity
- Excitement
- Jealousy
- Seriousness
Step 2. Decide what kind of relationship you want
Do you want a casual relationship with a few ties? Or a closer, more serious long-term relationship? Scorpios can be very intense and sexual in the short term, and can develop that passion into deep, long-lasting bonds, but learning how to negotiate these differences is important to a successful relationship.
- Scorpios can be very suitable for short-term love, so they are ideal partners for short-term romance. But sometimes he struggles with long-term commitments. Whatever you want, approach him with a desire to make a connection, not with a mature idea of what kind of relationship should be.
- Sometimes, people looking to find a Scorpio mate are looking for a thrill of danger or drama. Scorpio is looking for "bad boy". You better focus on getting to know this guy and see where it leads.
Step 3. Evaluate your own astrological chart
Dating a Scorpio is a good choice if you have a water zodiac advantage like Cancer or Pises. This element allows you to empathize with his unspoken moods, depths of emotions, and thoughts.
- If you're a fire sign (Leo, Aries or Sagittarius), you'll probably continue to clash with Scorpios and hate the darkness and gloom that Scorpios are known for.
- In general, people with a lot of air elements like Libra, Aquarius, and Gemini will not get along with someone who has a Scorpio sun, because your spontaneity makes him miserable.
- If you have an earth element, you might enjoy pairing up with a Scorpio. But your pragmatism and love of material things will clash with Scorpio's idealistic, dreamer and philosophical side. Sometimes this combination works, and sometimes it doesn't.
Part 2 of 3: Talking to Scorpio
Step 1. Be natural and prove that you can be trusted
Scorpios can tell if you're faking it. Scorpios are the best lie detectors, and value sincerity and trustworthiness in potential partners. You can tell that he won't share the secrets you trust him with, and for your own good, you shouldn't share any of his secrets either.
Never lie to Scorpio. Breaking trust is one of the quickest ways to turn off a Scorpio man's interest and lose him. Even if you think the truth will hurt, it's still better to be completely honest
Step 2. Show that you have substance
Talk to him about a subject that interests you. Many Scorpions secretly feel that the entire world is on the surface while he dives deep into the depths. Show that you have also dived into some depths of meaning. Get to the heart of the matter and talk about big topics. Scorpios can recognize insincerity from a distance, and will turn the other way when they see it.
- If you're interested in some of Scorpio's favorite subjects like science, political power and the occult, that's going to help.
- Know the latest events and world issues. Give your opinion about what is going on and ask for his opinion. Don't shy away from a good debate. Challenge him on things you don't agree with and defend your point.
Step 3. Share some intensely emotional secrets with Scorpio
Scorpio is driven by the desire to completely immerse himself in another dimension, to attain an almost mystical Kundalini with another person that makes him feel regenerated, renewed and reborn. Scorpios want to get to know you on a more intimate level, but may be reluctant to take the first step.
- Speak frankly and answer the questions he asks as sincerely as possible. If Scorpio asks something, he doesn't do it just to be polite. Scorpios really want to know and understand you, but also want to know what made you who you are today. Show what motivates you.
- Scorpio will love to get to know you more deeply, because he's thirsty for intense emotional honesty. Scorpios often feel that no one can really understand them, but they find it difficult to express themselves without encouragement.
Step 4. Spend some time together contemplating the same thing
Scorpios are serious and will respect your desire to have a serious conversation, or spend some time to reflect together. Scorpios don't need entertainment or constant small talk in their lives, but they do need a lot of time spent in contemplation. When you're with him, it's okay to be quiet with each other comfortably. Don't look for light solutions or entertainment.
- Talk about a recent book you've both read, or a heavy movie you watched. Don't dismiss the idea by saying, "I don't like it." Instead, think. Discuss. Wrestle with things together.
- Don't waste time rambling on. When speaking, what you say should have content, share hopes, fears, and dreams. No Twitter updates.
Step 5. Give him your full attention
When you're with a Scorpio, focus your attention on being together, and on doing what you're doing together. Turn off and put your phone away when you're with him and talk to him, so he doesn't feel like he's being ignored.
Make eye contact when speaking. Practice active listening, summarizing what he says and taking turns responding
Step 6. Don't interfere in his life, but listen to what he has to say
Scorpios pride themselves on being mysterious and multi-layered, and it may take some getting to know them. But he will appreciate the opportunity to share with you, if you play your cards right. Listen when he's talking and look for opportunities to open up more.
- If Scorpio says something, keep it in mind. If you remember small details, they will mean a lot to him, like the name of his best friend at school, or the name of his favorite childhood pet. These little details show that you care.
- Don't tease Scorpio. If you want to spice up the conversation with humor, opt for jokes that are a bit dark and sarcastic. Scorpio men are not attracted to silliness and stupid jokes because they tend to lower the intensity of the conversation.
Part 3 of 3: Dating Scorpio
Step 1. Think of every date as an opportunity for adventure
If you're dating a Scorpio, keep things interesting. Try to keep on having new adventures together, to give him the motivation he needs to keep falling for you.
- Change the language you use when talking about dating plans. Don't make vague plans like "watch" or "go out," instead say that you want to "watch the premiere of a great documentary" or that you want to "explore a new place by the sea." Make date ideas specific and interesting.
- Be open to a last-minute change of plans, if something doesn't go the way it should, or if he doesn't really like a certain idea. Learn to change plans midway when dating a Scorpio.
- Try planning activities that interest you. Scorpios are attracted to passion, and while they may not be as passionate about certain activities as you are, they will be infected by your passion.
Step 2. Choose a date that makes you physically intimate
Want to get closer to a Scorpio? Pump the blood and move your body. Getting out and doing something physical together will be a fast track to another kind of intimacy, both physically and emotionally.
- Couple massage
- Yoga
- Outdoor sports, such as basketball, tennis or golf
- Swimming
Step 3. Choose a date that makes you emotionally intimate
Scorpios crave that kind of relationship, to get to know someone on a deeper level. Plan dates that allow you to connect in a tangible way and build something together.
- Spend private time alone to a distant place. Go for long enough walks to give yourself plenty of time to talk, but also to be quiet. Spend time in silence and enjoy each other's presence.
- Plan dates that allow you to talk for a long time. Dinner is always better than watching a movie, which requires you to stay still.
- Attend intellectual events, such as book readings, lectures or debates. Discuss afterwards.
Step 4. Watch out for Scorpion stings
Scorpios are known for their cynicism and sometimes a lack of humor. Sometimes it takes rhino skin to get along with Scorpios, and you have to develop that ability. Try reminding yourself that when a Scorpio stings, it's a defense mechanism that's caused more by itself than by you.
Don't succumb to the jealousy or possessiveness that is a common Scorpio stereotype. If he dominates or controls your life, you may be better off ending the relationship
Step 5. Let yourself be excited when the time is right
Usually you don't need to start a romance with a passionate and fiery Scorpio. If you feel excited, don't hold back. Allow yourself to share that passion, and you can trigger the innate loyalty that Scorpios display towards those they are closest to and care about. For some, this is the deepest kind of love.
