Negative peer pressure is an unavoidable phenomenon in a person's process of growing up. Adolescence is the age most prone to be affected; they are often forced to do things against their will. Ironically, most teenagers are willing to do anything to be accepted by the social environment. You are one of them? Don't let the situation continue. There are many ways you can identify and avoid/reject negative peer pressure without making you sound awkward or judgmental.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Avoiding Negative Peer Pressure
Step 1. Know the difference between direct and indirect pressure
Remember, peer pressure can be direct or indirect. Direct pressure is when someone offers you something or asks you to do something. Meanwhile, indirect pressure is when you feel pressured by a certain situation or environment. For example, when you feel the need to drink beer and smoke to adapt to the majority of guests at your friend's birthday party (even if no one asks you to). If you're under direct pressure, all you need to do is learn to say "no" firmly but politely.
Meanwhile, if you experience indirect pressure, of course you can't say "no" to anyone. However, you still need to learn to control yourself, stick to the principles you believe in, and only do what you feel comfortable doing
Step 2. Prepare an umbrella before it rains
Learn to identify situations where you are prone to being offered something or being forced to do something. Anticipate the situation and plan in advance what you will say or do to resist it.
Being prepared allows you to face the situation with a more open mind. Associating or making friends with people who have different habits from yours is not a crime. But you really do need to learn how to respect their opinion without overriding or burying yours
Step 3. Avoid situations where you are prone to negative peer pressure
Only you know what kind of vulnerable situations are. If you are still not brave enough or are not confident enough to resist the negative pressure, the best thing you can do is to avoid it. Some examples of vulnerable situations:
- An environment that makes you feel uncomfortable or isolated
- Parties or other events attended by smokers and drinkers
- Meet your girlfriend in a quiet and dark place
Step 4. Act like a leader
It's easier to say yes to any invitation or offer -- even if you don't want it. But in the future, your friends will appreciate you much more if you have principles and are able to control yourself. This step is not easy but worth doing. By doing so, you can be sure that your future life will be surrounded by people who really care about you.
- For example, tell your friends what kind of lifestyle suits you best. Don't imitate their lifestyle; focus on what makes you comfortable.
- Be more proactive in the group. If you often seem to come up with interesting ideas, people will subconsciously look to you and ask for your advice when they're in the mood for fun. Don't act otherwise.
- Remember, a leader doesn't have the right to look down on those around him: to lead means to guide, not to act casually or feel superior to others.
Step 5. Be more selective in choosing friends
Avoid making friends with people who can be a bad influence on your life; at least this is the safest choice you can take. Befriending people who have similar views and mindsets can lower your chances of dealing with uncomfortable situations.
Remember, a true friend won't force you to do something you don't want just to prove your loyalty as a friend. If a friend of yours does this or makes fun of your life choices, you should stop being friends with them
Method 2 of 3: Saying “No” to Direct Questions
Step 1. Just say “no”
In most cases, just a "no thanks" is enough to get them to stop forcing you. There is no need to feel obligated to provide an explanation if not asked; it will actually make you sound defensive. Show that you're not denying something meaningful to the point where you feel the need to provide an explanation. In many cases, even the "no" answer is clear.
- This is the best answer if you are offered something you don't want to accept, such as liquor, cigarettes, or even drugs.
- Try not to sound rude or disrespectful. If your friend offers you to do something you don't want to do, no matter how bad the offer, still respond politely. Polite responses make it easier for you to change the subject. Just add a "Thank you" and a small smile after you decline.
Step 2. Say "no" and explain your reasons
Give the explanation as short as possible and not exaggerated. If someone offers you a cigarette, simply say “No thanks. I don't smoke. Even though it's short, it's a summary of all your reasons. This strategy is especially effective if you are asked to do something you don't want to do, or if you want to avoid a specific situation.
- If someone asks you to go to a party involving drugs, tell them, “I'm not going. Sorry, but I knew there would be drugs in there and I didn't want to get into that kind of situation” or “Sorry, I'm not going. I don't like people who come later."
- You can also make up excuses if giving real reasons could make the situation worse: “Sorry, I already have plans for tonight.”
- Try your best to make a positive statement. Try not to sound judgmental or condescending. You may disagree with someone's actions or habits, but try to respect their decisions; it will encourage them to respect your decision too.
Step 3. Say "no" while cracking a joke
Humor is a great way to escape from an awkward situation as well as to release tension.
- One way you can do this is by exaggerating the consequences. If you are offered drugs, try saying, “No thanks. You don't want to see me running around naked in front of the house, do you?”
- Another option is to provide a sarcastic explanation. If you are offered a cigarette, try saying "No thanks. I've smoked five times in 10 minutes” or “No thanks. I can only smoke Pocky.”
Step 4. Say "no" and change the subject immediately
This strategy is also effective for rejecting an invitation or offer. Changing the subject of the conversation can distract the other person's attention from your refusal, even from the offer.
If someone offers you a cigarette, try saying “No thanks. Eh, have you heard of the case that happened in class earlier?” By opening a new conversation that is not related to smoking, your friend's choice to smoke and your choice not to smoke no longer seems like a big deal
Step 5. Say "no" and offer alternative ideas
This strategy works if you are asked to do an activity of a long duration, such as smoking marijuana, drinking, or having sex. If that's the case, try offering other activities as a subtle form of refusal.
- For example, you might say, "Shall we go to the movies?", "We'd better go shopping", or "I think we should focus on studying for tomorrow's exam."
- Whatever alternative ideas you have, make sure you're specific. Avoid floating statements like “Let's do something else!”; Offer activities that your friend is likely to prefer, you'll be able to get out of that situation more easily and quickly.
Method 3 of 3: Managing Critical Situations
Step 1. Repeat your words
Sometimes, the situation can be more critical than you think. It could be that your friend is still insisting even though you have said "No, thank you". If the offer turns into repeated coercion, make sure you make it clear that you don't want to do it. Again, say "no" in a firmer tone of voice.
- For example: “No, thank you. I told you I don't want to drink."
- Even if that's the case, you still shouldn't respond harshly. Set your tone as firm as possible (not harsh), then look your friend in the eye while conveying your refusal again.
Step 2. Convey that a friend shouldn't force you to do something
Only do this if they don't stop pushing you, even if you refuse. This attitude can change the subject of the conversation from "your friend's offer" to your friend's pressure.
- For example, “I already told you that I don't want to smoke. I don't like being forced to do something I don't want to do."
- Having said that, try discussing the topic of peer pressure with the friend who is pressuring you (especially if you are in a close relationship). Re-discussing the values of friendship is a good step, especially in a critical situation that could destroy your friendship.
Step 3. Seek support from your other friends
If there are people who think like you, include their interests in the conversation and build their support. Remember, only do this if you are sure they will support you. If you're still not sure, wait until they take the initiative to talk and help you.
- For example, speak on behalf of the group if you believe your other friends will support you: “No thanks. We don't smoke."
- You can also immediately switch the conversation to your other friends after conveying your refusal. For example, after saying “No thanks Mike”, continue with, “I don't want to smoke weed. How about we just go to the cinema? What do you think, Steve?”
Step 4. Say no and reverse the pressure
Turning the pressure on your friend is not a wise move. But if everything you've tried doesn't work, there's nothing wrong with trying to do this.
If one of your friends offers you a cigarette, answer "I don't smoke, and neither should you. You know that smoking is harmful to health. If you're being teased because you've never had sex with anyone, answer, “You're free to do whatever you want with your life. But aren't you afraid of getting sexually transmitted diseases?"
Step 5. Say no and leave the situation
This is the final step; do this only if all other ways fail and you feel hurt. Make up a reasonable-sounding excuse or walk away without giving any reasons (depending on how critical the situation is).
- Before leaving, it's a good idea to keep giving a little explanation. Don't be defensive or offensive, but explain that you decided to leave because you wanted to avoid the pressure he was putting on: “I think I'd better go now. I don't like being pressured by anyone."
- It would be nice if you also explained that “go” was the last option you had: “Enough, I'm leaving now. Sorry, but you guys left me no other choice.” If you say it, they will realize that your departure is the result of their actions.
Tips
- Don't be afraid to share your opinion. It's easier to say yes to all invitations or requests from your friends. But realize that growing up means knowing who you are, what you want to do, and what you want to achieve, not just following other people's words. If you can convey your rejection calmly, firmly, and politely, they are more likely to be willing to understand and respect your decision.
- Ask for advice. Ask your parents or friends about how they deal with peer pressure. Also ask what they would do if they were in your situation.
