You're on a date, sitting in math class, or sitting in a room full of people in a very quiet place, then you feel the urge to pass gas. In an ideal world, you could run away and expel this gas from your body. However, you don't always have a choice. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is hold your fart to avoid embarrassment. So how do you do it? See the first step to get started.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Strategies to Stop Farting
Step 1. Clench your buttocks
Think of it this way: if there's no space between your butts, then how do you fart come out? While this can be a bit painful and can't be held for long, if you clench your butt, you can prevent the fart from coming out. To do this, you really have to tighten your anus and keep it in that position; if you allow it to change position, your fart will be released from your body. If you're lucky, doing this for a long period of time can cause the fart to be "sucked" back into your body – know that this is not a permanent solution, and farts can come back with more pressure than before.
Step 2. Change your position slowly
Sometimes you just need to shake your body a little to move the fart to a different part of your body. Just don't make any sudden movements, or the fart will be more likely to come out. If you are sitting, try to switch from one side of the buttocks to the other.
Step 3. Lean back on the chair
If while sitting you need to fart, place your hands alternately on your arms, place your weight on your toes, and slowly lean forward slightly, then lift your buttocks off the chair. This sometimes helps the urge to fart to go away, as clenching your toes and leaning forward can also help hold your anus a little.
Step 4. Lie down
If you are sitting or standing and want to fart, sometimes lying down can help you change position and relieve the urge to fart. If you're out on a trip with friends, it's going to be hard to do that, but if you're all sitting together watching TV, see if you can lie down on the couch or do something that helps you hold your farts but still looks natural.
Step 5. Stand up straight
If you stand up and feel the urge to fart, correct your posture, try to keep your head as high as possible, and straighten your body. This will help the fart have more room to move around in your body without having to let go.
Step 6. Move from one side of the butt to the other
If you're sitting and feel the urge to fart, one thing you can do is to carefully move from one side of your butt to the other. Sometimes, this movement is all you need to temporarily relieve the urge to fart. It can also help you fart in a less noisy way, if you feel the urge to fart. The problem with this move is that it can be very noticeable, so you might want to make it look like you're suddenly attracted to something to your right – and then to your left…
Step 7. Know that holding in your fart will make it louder as it comes out
While holding in your farts is a good short-term strategy, know that farts very rarely "disappear." This strategy can help you to reduce your shyness, but eventually, your urge to fart will come back again – with more force than ever before.
Step 8. Know that holding in your farts “may” cause bloating and cramping
While it's still not certain whether holding in farts is bad for your health, some doctors agree that doing this regularly can cause bloating and cramping. So if you're in a public place, you can hold your fart for as long as you can, but as soon as you can let go, relax every part of your body, stand up, and let the whole system work.
Part 2 of 3: Strategies for Silent Farts
Step 1. Slowly release the fart
If you're in a public place, and have no way out, and know that the fart will come out at any moment, the best thing you can do is to slowly release the fart. Carefully and slowly release your fart, move a little, then let the fart slowly leave your body. If you let all the farts out at once, it will be very loud.
Step 2. Make noise to disguise the fart sound
This is not a very good trick, but sometimes, when you find out you just farted, and you have no other way but to make a noise or make a diversion when you know the fart is about to come out. Here are some things you can do:
- Cough hard
- Laugh out loud
- Dropping the textbook
- Turn on the radio
- Activate the phone alarm
Step 3. Make up an excuse to leave so you can fart
This is the easiest way to fart and stay out of trouble. If possible, you can excuse yourself for a few minutes and then go to let your fart go. Here is the easiest way you can do it:
- Pretend to take the call
- Go “check something” on the other side of the room
- Say you need some fresh air
- Say that you want to wash your hands
- Use the bathroom
Part 3 of 3: Minimizing Bloating
Step 1. Reduce the portion of foods that can cause gas
Some foods rich in sulfur can make you pass gas more often – these foods will also make your farts stink! Carbohydrate-rich foods also allow you to pass gas, but everyone has their own “trigger foods.” While you don't have to avoid these foods completely, you can cut back on them if you know you're going to a place where you won't be able to fart. Foods that can cause gas include:
- Vegetables such as beans, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, brussels sprouts, onions, and mushrooms.
- Fruits like apples, peaches and pears
- Bran and products containing whole grains
- Dairy products such as cheese, yogurt and ice cream
- Egg
- Carbonated drinks, such as soda
Step 2. Avoid eating or drinking too quickly
Another reason why you have gas is because you are eating your food or drinking too fast and not giving your body enough time to digest your food. The next time you eat, try to eat slowly and chew your food properly until each bite is thoroughly digested. Stop eating in a hurry, if that's what you're doing, try to slow down how you eat and eat a few minutes earlier if necessary. If you like soda, make sure you drink it slowly instead of drinking it in three gulps, as this can make the situation worse.
Step 3. Avoid chewing gum or sucking on candy
The repetitive motion of chewing gum or sucking on candy can make you fart more. This can especially happen when you do it on an empty stomach. If you don't want to be embarrassed, then eat less chewing gum and candy. Chewing quickly causes you to swallow more air, and causes the breakdown of food in your intestines, which can cause farts.
Step 4. Consider taking medication
While this isn't really necessary and should only be used if you're really having a problem, you might consider buying medication to relieve flatulence symptoms. You can buy medications like Beano, Gas-X, Mylanta Gas, or even lactase tablets. Medications tend to break down the sugar in your body, and make your food easier to digest. However, talk to your doctor before you start this routine, to help you know what you really need.
Step 5. Exercise regularly
Sometimes people fart excessively because they don't exercise regularly, or because they sit for long periods of time – these two things tend to happen together. If you make it a goal to exercise at least 30 minutes every day and move as much as you can in a day, then your body will be in better shape and you will be less likely to fart. Exercise also helps you get rid of extra gas from your system.
Step 6. Remember that farting is a normal part of your life
Everyone farts. This habit is natural and healthy. The average person farts between 14 and 21 times per day – even if the person doesn't realize it. Don't think that there's something wrong with you just because you fart a lot.
Tips
- If all else fails and the fart comes out loud, don't panic. People will forget about it as time goes on. The best thing to do is laugh at this so that other people can't use it as a joke.
- If you are in a situation where you can no longer hold your fart, or make a lot of noise, for example, in the middle of the examination, try to fart silently. Press your buttocks, then slowly release the fart. You may fart two to three times, but the sound will be lower than before.
- As you slowly release the fart, make sure not to create a push on your buttocks while sitting.
Warning
- The fart will come back, and the pressure will be greater, harder to hold and the sound will probably get bigger and smellier.
- While in the process of farting silently, make sure that all you are expelling is the wind and nothing worse.
- Don't hold the fart for too long. If you hold it in for hours, your intestines will start to hurt and, in severe cases, you'll end up in the hospital.
